Even now that he thinks about it, it wasn't philanthropy. Whenever Aaron sees someone injured, he doesn't know what to do and he's not good enough to sacrifice himself. But why did he do something he regrets? He thinks he couldn't stand to see that guy's tenacious attachment to life, fighting for his purpose.
But then, now, and in the future, it was a question that could not be answered.
“But that guy.”
“...”
“I found out that he was from a family of naval generals who were at the center of the Ramrock military junta. I heard that he was one of the people in charge of the state-of-the-art fleet that attacked my country’s capital.”
The naval battle that ended in 35 minutes was a war that was recorded historically as a foolish war. The 35-minute battle that could not even be called a naval battle made the sacrifices of the previous Trobia battle in vain, and even those who had lost their lives in the battle before that, and the battle before that, and the battle before that, were left as meaningless casualties on the list.
He was angry, knowing that he had no right to criticize his country's foolishness as a deserter. He was ashamed of himself.
“I tried to believe that even if I hadn’t rescued the enemy’s senior officer, another commander would have taken command of the fleet. But in the end, it was he who took over my country’s capital in just 35 minutes.”
From then on, he started thinking that way.
If the person he saved ends up killing someone else, is he really a doctor who saves people? It would be no different from the executioner who punishes murderers becoming a murderer in the end, or the scoundrel who beheads criminals spilling more blood than the greatest murderer.
Aaron lost his way. After hearing the news that they were fighting fiercely in his family, he couldn't go back to Dublin anymore. He didn't want to go back. Hr kept the dog tag of his comrade who had suffered until the end as a legacy.
After a long silence, Ben asked in a voice that was cracking. It felt a little strange that he didn't shout.
“That’s why they're looking for you in Dublin. Did you live by stealing other people’s identities?”
“I don’t think so. I don’t think anyone knows what I did.”
“If."
“My name would have been recorded as a deserter anyway, and I have some very hostile relatives... I ended up like this because I was chasing convenience.”
“Someone is looking for you?”
Aaron shook his head.
“It is not for the military courts you are concerned about. Even if they were to be pursued for desertion, they would hate to bring disgrace to their family. Above all, they would not have guessed that I was in Ramrock, so if the Dubliners are concerned, they will.”
Aaron was answering with the utmost sincerity and cooperation. The demons were getting hit one by one. Judging from the way he was talking about his family and all, he was definitely the son of a wealthy family. From his usual behavior, his calm tone of speech, and even the way he tried to talk to people. He was a completely different kind of guy from the country bumpkins.
“That fucking Dubliner.”
As the raindrops hitting his skin began to hurt, Ben went down to the riverbank where the current had begun to grow stronger and threw Aaron's luggage into the river.
Aaron looked at him with weak eyes. He thought it would be refreshing to tell him. However, the weight of his heart that had always been weighing him down had become normal without him knowing it, and he felt empty as if a hole had been pierced in his chest. He had said this.
“You damn punk, how dare you approach my daughter like that!”
Maybe this is the end.
“Shameless bastard!”
“I admit it.”
If his daughter had shown interest in a man from the Dublin military, he would have been anxious, but if Ramrock's father had known that a man from the Dublin military had ulterior motives for his daughter, he would have been tempted to expel him. It was foolish of him to have unconsciously entertained hopes.
Ben untied the ropes that held the tent together, pulled out the wooden poles that had been planted to support him, and threw them down. The big man, who didn't say a word until half the tent collapsed, was like a rock.
Aaron, who was going down the slope, grabbed Ben's arm.
“...I understand what you mean. I’ll sort things out and leave this place, so you can go in.”
"Where!"
Ben's voice echoed amidst the sound of rain and rushing water.
Aaron pushed back his wet hair to wipe the rainwater hitting his face. It wasn't something to laugh about, but his olive eyes, which were as deep and sentimental as Leila's, made him feel better than he expected.
“...I understand that it may be inconvenient for me to stay around here. But I just want you to know this. It’s natural that you don’t know me well and that you dislike me. Any father of Ramrock would feel the same way as Mr. Ben. But one thing is certain: I will never do any harm to Leila.”
The lips that had been dripping rain were wet. Aaron stopped talking and rubbed the corners of his mouth, trying to calm his voice, which was trembling. But he didn’t know. Was he really hurting Leila? Even leaving like this was a burden that would remain for a long time to Aaron.
Ben just stared at him blankly, so he changed his words.
“I will try not to harm you. If you want me to leave, I will. But I cannot do that right now, even for Leila’s sake. But I will not dare touch Leila, and I just...”
The dull impact made his bones ring. When he blinked and came to his senses, Aaron found himself sitting in the mud on the riverbank. The shouting that followed made Aaron want to bury his face in the mud and cry.
“You little brat, do you think I have googly eyes? Do you think I don’t know what’s on the minds of soldiers?”
“...Please don’t misunderstand. I have never for a moment treated Leila to try to do something to her. I...”
Ben suddenly shouted.
“You damn punk! I’m so pissed off that my daughter is hanging around in a shitty place like this! How dare you open your eyes and watch that little girl pack up all the household items and move them away! Get your stuff together! Before that hot-tempered calf jumps out!”
Even though Ramrock and Dublin were not different, Aaron did not understand for a moment and asked back.
"Yes?"
“Isn’t it you who lost your ear hole? Even a kid who swings a bandage around is a soldier!”
“...What you are saying now.”
“You punk, even though you’re a Dublin bastard, you damned punk, you’re still here, looking like a beggar, with all your limbs intact! Twenty years ago, when I went to war, my country was devoured by yours, and I slept soundly and gave birth to a daughter like that!”
“But, I...”
“You were talking like you knew everything just now. Have you forgotten what you said? Don’t you think all Ramrocks are the same? You’re just a guy who’s learned a little bit, so you’re acting all sorts of cool and bragging!”
Even as he spoke, Ben's face was filled with self-loathing. What he was trying to say could not have been clearer.
“Young man, what’s the big deal about fighting in a war? You know what’s worse than a fucking war? Dealing with a wild, wild girl! I can’t believe I’m holding you back because that girl is into Dublin!”
“...Sir.”
“No, before that, you little punk. Did you touch my daughter?”
Aaron's lips, soaked in rain and blue, trembled slowly.
“You’re worried, it wasn’t like that... It really wasn’t like that.”
“Just look at it, you touched it!”
The heat from the swelling eyes made his whole body feel hot.
Hot tears fell down his cold, wet cheeks. Unable to control his agitation, Aaron shook his shoulders and sobbed. Bend, who looked at Aaron, who suddenly started crying, as if he was dumbfounded, bit his lips and said.
“And the country of those Dublin bastards is ruined? Did you ruin it because you saved Nick Hamilton? You just took the fact that your country was rotten, and you’re dressing it up as patriotism! You idiots who called the fleet a ghost ship when it came into port! How are you going to defeat our Ramrock army, who are full of venom?”
Aaron lowered his head, letting out a hollow laugh. It was something he should be ashamed of, but he felt that Ben's shout was not anger but comfort. He couldn't hold back the tears that were flowing. Even after being washed away by the rain, they flowed again.
“Do you understand? You Dublin soldiers wouldn’t have said such a thing if you had a cow’s head on your neck!”
Ding- ding- ding... A bell rings from somewhere far away. Without realizing it, Aaron tensed up his shoulders, feeling nervous for some other reason. As he staggered to get up, he heard Ben’s nervous scream as his body trembled.
“Oh, and that damn bell!”
Aaron, who was rubbing his face, asked with an inappropriate laugh.
“...Did Mr. Ben also serve in the frontline units?”
“I was a member of the artillery battalion!”
In the artillery unit, there were always many people who suffered hearing loss. Many people suffered lung damage from gun smoke. It was inevitable because they had to always be on guard next to the cannons that made a louder noise than thunder.
These are the brave ones who hear the sound of cannons that makes their hearts pound even when heard from afar, from the closest location.
“Mr. Ben, I was... a worthless person who failed even in military life. That was until I met Leila.”
“...”
“I don’t have the shame to ask you to watch over me with the wicked desire to be with my precious daughter. But if I could do something for Leila, even just a little bit, if I could be given even a little more opportunity to do so, I really... really.”
His throat is sore. Aaron went into battle without knowing anything about ideology or beliefs, and he didn't learn anything until the moment he fled. He didn't understand the feelings of those who struggled, even if it meant scraping their lives to the bottom, not for the sake of a deceptive display of welfare or goodwill.
He knelt beside the senior officer of Ramrock, who had it because he didn't understand. He couldn't forget the gray eyes that never left him for a moment as he cut the flesh with a dull jackknife, pulled out the bullet, and bandaged it.
“...Invader of my homeland, what is your rank...? What do you wish for?”
That voice too.
“You still want to live after seeing this hell. You want to live while begging me, a Dubliner? Don’t you have any pride?”
“...If I can achieve this by living, I can offer this body even to the devil.”
He had no shame in the fact that he was treating his enemy.
“...If you save me, someday.”
A life for a clear base. Aaron finally found it in Casnier. A small wish that fell far short of the grand dream that Ramrock's high-ranking officer had. Leila, a wish for her to be happy.
“...I truly love your daughter.”
But then, now, and in the future, it was a question that could not be answered.
“But that guy.”
“...”
“I found out that he was from a family of naval generals who were at the center of the Ramrock military junta. I heard that he was one of the people in charge of the state-of-the-art fleet that attacked my country’s capital.”
The naval battle that ended in 35 minutes was a war that was recorded historically as a foolish war. The 35-minute battle that could not even be called a naval battle made the sacrifices of the previous Trobia battle in vain, and even those who had lost their lives in the battle before that, and the battle before that, and the battle before that, were left as meaningless casualties on the list.
He was angry, knowing that he had no right to criticize his country's foolishness as a deserter. He was ashamed of himself.
“I tried to believe that even if I hadn’t rescued the enemy’s senior officer, another commander would have taken command of the fleet. But in the end, it was he who took over my country’s capital in just 35 minutes.”
From then on, he started thinking that way.
If the person he saved ends up killing someone else, is he really a doctor who saves people? It would be no different from the executioner who punishes murderers becoming a murderer in the end, or the scoundrel who beheads criminals spilling more blood than the greatest murderer.
Aaron lost his way. After hearing the news that they were fighting fiercely in his family, he couldn't go back to Dublin anymore. He didn't want to go back. Hr kept the dog tag of his comrade who had suffered until the end as a legacy.
After a long silence, Ben asked in a voice that was cracking. It felt a little strange that he didn't shout.
“That’s why they're looking for you in Dublin. Did you live by stealing other people’s identities?”
“I don’t think so. I don’t think anyone knows what I did.”
“If."
“My name would have been recorded as a deserter anyway, and I have some very hostile relatives... I ended up like this because I was chasing convenience.”
“Someone is looking for you?”
Aaron shook his head.
“It is not for the military courts you are concerned about. Even if they were to be pursued for desertion, they would hate to bring disgrace to their family. Above all, they would not have guessed that I was in Ramrock, so if the Dubliners are concerned, they will.”
Aaron was answering with the utmost sincerity and cooperation. The demons were getting hit one by one. Judging from the way he was talking about his family and all, he was definitely the son of a wealthy family. From his usual behavior, his calm tone of speech, and even the way he tried to talk to people. He was a completely different kind of guy from the country bumpkins.
“That fucking Dubliner.”
As the raindrops hitting his skin began to hurt, Ben went down to the riverbank where the current had begun to grow stronger and threw Aaron's luggage into the river.
Aaron looked at him with weak eyes. He thought it would be refreshing to tell him. However, the weight of his heart that had always been weighing him down had become normal without him knowing it, and he felt empty as if a hole had been pierced in his chest. He had said this.
“You damn punk, how dare you approach my daughter like that!”
Maybe this is the end.
“Shameless bastard!”
“I admit it.”
If his daughter had shown interest in a man from the Dublin military, he would have been anxious, but if Ramrock's father had known that a man from the Dublin military had ulterior motives for his daughter, he would have been tempted to expel him. It was foolish of him to have unconsciously entertained hopes.
Ben untied the ropes that held the tent together, pulled out the wooden poles that had been planted to support him, and threw them down. The big man, who didn't say a word until half the tent collapsed, was like a rock.
Aaron, who was going down the slope, grabbed Ben's arm.
“...I understand what you mean. I’ll sort things out and leave this place, so you can go in.”
"Where!"
Ben's voice echoed amidst the sound of rain and rushing water.
Aaron pushed back his wet hair to wipe the rainwater hitting his face. It wasn't something to laugh about, but his olive eyes, which were as deep and sentimental as Leila's, made him feel better than he expected.
“...I understand that it may be inconvenient for me to stay around here. But I just want you to know this. It’s natural that you don’t know me well and that you dislike me. Any father of Ramrock would feel the same way as Mr. Ben. But one thing is certain: I will never do any harm to Leila.”
The lips that had been dripping rain were wet. Aaron stopped talking and rubbed the corners of his mouth, trying to calm his voice, which was trembling. But he didn’t know. Was he really hurting Leila? Even leaving like this was a burden that would remain for a long time to Aaron.
Ben just stared at him blankly, so he changed his words.
“I will try not to harm you. If you want me to leave, I will. But I cannot do that right now, even for Leila’s sake. But I will not dare touch Leila, and I just...”
The dull impact made his bones ring. When he blinked and came to his senses, Aaron found himself sitting in the mud on the riverbank. The shouting that followed made Aaron want to bury his face in the mud and cry.
“You little brat, do you think I have googly eyes? Do you think I don’t know what’s on the minds of soldiers?”
“...Please don’t misunderstand. I have never for a moment treated Leila to try to do something to her. I...”
Ben suddenly shouted.
“You damn punk! I’m so pissed off that my daughter is hanging around in a shitty place like this! How dare you open your eyes and watch that little girl pack up all the household items and move them away! Get your stuff together! Before that hot-tempered calf jumps out!”
Even though Ramrock and Dublin were not different, Aaron did not understand for a moment and asked back.
"Yes?"
“Isn’t it you who lost your ear hole? Even a kid who swings a bandage around is a soldier!”
“...What you are saying now.”
“You punk, even though you’re a Dublin bastard, you damned punk, you’re still here, looking like a beggar, with all your limbs intact! Twenty years ago, when I went to war, my country was devoured by yours, and I slept soundly and gave birth to a daughter like that!”
“But, I...”
“You were talking like you knew everything just now. Have you forgotten what you said? Don’t you think all Ramrocks are the same? You’re just a guy who’s learned a little bit, so you’re acting all sorts of cool and bragging!”
Even as he spoke, Ben's face was filled with self-loathing. What he was trying to say could not have been clearer.
“Young man, what’s the big deal about fighting in a war? You know what’s worse than a fucking war? Dealing with a wild, wild girl! I can’t believe I’m holding you back because that girl is into Dublin!”
“...Sir.”
“No, before that, you little punk. Did you touch my daughter?”
Aaron's lips, soaked in rain and blue, trembled slowly.
“You’re worried, it wasn’t like that... It really wasn’t like that.”
“Just look at it, you touched it!”
The heat from the swelling eyes made his whole body feel hot.
Hot tears fell down his cold, wet cheeks. Unable to control his agitation, Aaron shook his shoulders and sobbed. Bend, who looked at Aaron, who suddenly started crying, as if he was dumbfounded, bit his lips and said.
“And the country of those Dublin bastards is ruined? Did you ruin it because you saved Nick Hamilton? You just took the fact that your country was rotten, and you’re dressing it up as patriotism! You idiots who called the fleet a ghost ship when it came into port! How are you going to defeat our Ramrock army, who are full of venom?”
Aaron lowered his head, letting out a hollow laugh. It was something he should be ashamed of, but he felt that Ben's shout was not anger but comfort. He couldn't hold back the tears that were flowing. Even after being washed away by the rain, they flowed again.
“Do you understand? You Dublin soldiers wouldn’t have said such a thing if you had a cow’s head on your neck!”
Ding- ding- ding... A bell rings from somewhere far away. Without realizing it, Aaron tensed up his shoulders, feeling nervous for some other reason. As he staggered to get up, he heard Ben’s nervous scream as his body trembled.
“Oh, and that damn bell!”
Aaron, who was rubbing his face, asked with an inappropriate laugh.
“...Did Mr. Ben also serve in the frontline units?”
“I was a member of the artillery battalion!”
In the artillery unit, there were always many people who suffered hearing loss. Many people suffered lung damage from gun smoke. It was inevitable because they had to always be on guard next to the cannons that made a louder noise than thunder.
These are the brave ones who hear the sound of cannons that makes their hearts pound even when heard from afar, from the closest location.
“Mr. Ben, I was... a worthless person who failed even in military life. That was until I met Leila.”
“...”
“I don’t have the shame to ask you to watch over me with the wicked desire to be with my precious daughter. But if I could do something for Leila, even just a little bit, if I could be given even a little more opportunity to do so, I really... really.”
His throat is sore. Aaron went into battle without knowing anything about ideology or beliefs, and he didn't learn anything until the moment he fled. He didn't understand the feelings of those who struggled, even if it meant scraping their lives to the bottom, not for the sake of a deceptive display of welfare or goodwill.
He knelt beside the senior officer of Ramrock, who had it because he didn't understand. He couldn't forget the gray eyes that never left him for a moment as he cut the flesh with a dull jackknife, pulled out the bullet, and bandaged it.
“...Invader of my homeland, what is your rank...? What do you wish for?”
That voice too.
“You still want to live after seeing this hell. You want to live while begging me, a Dubliner? Don’t you have any pride?”
“...If I can achieve this by living, I can offer this body even to the devil.”
He had no shame in the fact that he was treating his enemy.
“...If you save me, someday.”
A life for a clear base. Aaron finally found it in Casnier. A small wish that fell far short of the grand dream that Ramrock's high-ranking officer had. Leila, a wish for her to be happy.
“...I truly love your daughter.”
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