Oh, that's strange. Why is your mouth talking nonsense like this? There's no way it would be like this unless it's been poisoned. It seems like it's been poisoned a little bit...But what you said a little while ago was a lie. Leila suddenly felt a pang of conscience.
“Oh, it’s a cat’s tongue. Give it to me. I’ll cool it down for you.”
Not knowing the complicated speed of Leila, Aaron gently snatched the skewer from her hand and took it. Just the touch of his fingertips made her feel so strangely good. She must be crazy. Leila stared at him as he wiped off all the charred parts of the skin and blew on it to cool it down. The colorlessness of the military collar at the nape of his neck almost made her cry.
“Oh, it’s a cat’s tongue. Give it to me. I’ll cool it down for you.”
Not knowing the complicated speed of Leila, Aaron gently snatched the skewer from her hand and took it. Just the touch of his fingertips made her feel so strangely good. She must be crazy. Leila stared at him as he wiped off all the charred parts of the skin and blew on it to cool it down. The colorlessness of the military collar at the nape of his neck almost made her cry.
What should I say? The only men Leila had ever seen were young men her age who were like snot-nosed punks, or soldiers from Ramrock who were always causing trouble and committing crimes, or her uncle, who would spend half the year drunk and talking nonsense, or her father, who would never express his true feelings.
Her father was a great man who, if Leila hesitated because it was too hot to eat, would yell at her and say, "Then starve until it cools down!"
She feels so refreshed. She doesn't know why she's been feeling so up and down all day.
“Well, I’d rather spread the bones. That would be better.”
“Do you usually treat people this well?”
Aaron's eyes returned to her in response to the question. Leila was truly serious.
“...You said you came from the city? Are all city people like Aaron?”
Aaron let out a small, muffled laugh and asked in a firm tone.
“What does Leila think of me?”
“You're sweet, gentle, apologize for things you don’t need to apologize for, want to give me flowers, and when I lied about not being able to eat something hot, you offered to cool it down. Usually, um, I don’t know. Aaron is a little different from the men I’ve known.”
“Ah... That was a lie?”
Leila nodded, looking at his expression, thinking that she had no reason to lie, but soon Aarn let out a small laugh and muttered, "I told you she's cute." Leila pretended not to hear, but her face kept turning red, which made her angry.
“It’s okay. I wanted to tell you a lie.”
“Anyway, anyway! I was really curious... yeah.”
She was getting angry again because her own voice was creeping in. She felt like an idiot. Aaron answered with a calm smile.
“It may be different for everyone, but city people are colder than Leila thinks. I’m not the type to be particularly friendly to everyone either...”
“Aaron?”
It doesn't look like that at all.
“Yes, is there anything else you’re curious about?”
If he isn't like that to everyone, why is he so affectionate to me? The question stuck in her throat. Aaron was so calm, even when he said such awkward, perhaps misleading words to her. That was when.
Ding- ding- ding...
A distant bell began to ring.
'It's late at night. It's already 9 o'clock. Go home, wash your feet, and go to sleep.'
It was a kindness that wasn't particularly necessary at this moment, telling her.
Bam.
"Ah."
Aaron dropped the skewer he had just cleaned off the soot from as if he were surprised.
“Oh, sorry, sorry. I’ll tell you again.”
Leila was a little surprised by Aaron's stiff, unnatural movements and his face that quickly turned pale. His shoulders also flinched every time the bell rang. She learned one thing about Aaron. He was a real soldier.
“Aaron is like my dad. You hate the sound of bells.”
“...”
“My father doesn’t like to talk, but he says that he also fought in the war. He got an ear injury during that time and is always screaming. But he can hear the sound of bells like a ghost, so he always makes Mom suffer.”
The nine bells scattered, and the sound of sparks flying and the river flowing with strong currents filled the air. Leila looked down at Aaron's fist, which was slowly releasing, and asked.
“You told me I could ask you anything.”
“...Yes, ask.”
“Did you kill a lot?”
Aaron looked up to face her. Leila asked him curtly, as if to scold him for not answering.
“You don’t want to answer today either?”
“Rather than that...”
“Then another question. Why did you go to war? To make money, Aaron? You really, um, don’t look like a soldier. Or are all the soldiers in Dublin like Aaron? I heard they’re really bad people.”
For the first time, Aaron's heart sank as if he were dead.
The anxiety in Leila’s eyes was so real that it was hard to believe that she was simply asking out of curiosity. Aaron clenched his fists. The past had always caught up with him. At moments when he didn’t want it to. Therefore, it was something he couldn’t just laugh off forever. Even if it wasn’t Leila, it was a problem he had to face at least once.
Aaron pulled away, trying to keep his chin still as a smile threatened to crumble.
“...To put it simply.”
His only consolation was that his voice was calmer than expected.
“I enlisted in the military when I was a medical student, and when the war broke out, I was listed as a conscripted soldier. And... I’m not really a retired soldier.”
“...”
“It would be more appropriate to say that I am a deserter, shamefully.”
Leila was a little surprised.
"Uh."
“The last battle was the Battle of Trobia.”
“I see. Ah.”
“I don’t remember killing Ramlock directly, as I was a medical officer. However, most of the people I saved were soldiers from Dublin, and some of them had medals. If you say I killed them indirectly, I will accept that. If I hadn’t saved them, they wouldn’t have killed anyone. However...”
“...”
“...Ah, I don’t know how to say this so that it doesn’t sound like an excuse... Well, I don’t know. No matter how I say it, it’s still an excuse.”
Leila remained silent, her knees clasped together.
“...When I realized I couldn’t become an astronomer, I decided to become a doctor. It seemed pretty cool to be someone who could save people. It was also rewarding.”
"Hmm."
“Then, by chance, I was drafted into the military, and when I came to my senses, I was on a battlefield. It was a place where you had to save people to kill them. At first, I had a sense of duty. But when I was assigned to the front line, it was much more than I had imagined.”
Aaron's voice was almost indistinguishable from a sigh.
“...It was really horrible. I was young.”
“...”
“In that situation, various things happened within the Dublin military, and I fled the Trobia battle. After that, as I said before... I left Dublin and wandered around here and there until I came to Casnier.”
"Ah."
“Isn’t it pathetic?”
Aaron was shaking a little. Leila felt sorry for him as he lowered his head and avoided her eyes. Leila moved to sit next to him and covered his back with the blanket she was holding.
“...There was no need to go into such detail.”
“I thought you were curious since last time. I didn’t want Leila to misunderstand.”
“My maternal uncle died in the last war.”
Aaron was momentarily speechless. Leila smiled, her eyes bloodshot.
“The person I love in the world next to my father is my maternal uncle. After my mother died, I lived with my maternal uncle and my father. In a way, my maternal uncle was like a mother to me. Well, he ended up going out to make money, so that’s how it turned out.”
“...”
“That’s why I asked. Even if Aaron is a good person, there’s always that one chance.”
No matter how indifferent Leila thought, he was ultimately a Ramrock. She couldn't help but think about his nationality or the victims of the last war. The reason she lost her beloved uncle. Was it the Dubliners or Dublin that caused her to lose his uncle? She didn't know enough to clearly distinguish between ideology and the individual.
“...That’s just how it was. Don’t worry about it. My father said that not many people fight because they want to fight.”
As Aaron's silence grew longer, Leila's chest began to ache. Leila added incoherently.
“My father told me not to hate him. He told me to accept that it was fate. It’s hard to live with resentment, whether it’s toward yourself or others. That’s why I don’t hate him. It would have been better if my uncle hadn’t left, but I believe that my uncle also contributed a little to the peace we have today. I’m proud of him.”
“...It’s late, but I also wish you peace.”
Leila smiled slightly.
“Even if Aaron doesn’t beg, I know my uncle is in a good place because he’s a good person. And if Aaron didn’t trick me, you're not the one who stole my uncle. It’s just... I don’t know. Why am I saying this?”
“Leila. I’m sorry.”
“Why are you sorry?”
“I'm sorry.”
“So, why?”
Aaron pulled down Leila's wrist, which was hovering around her cheek. His hand gained strength. His palm was hot. The man's large hand slowly slipped around her small palm, and soon he held it tightly as if interlocking his fingers. Only then did he ask.
“...Can I hold it?”
“You already caught it.”
“...There’s one thing I couldn’t say.”
“What is it?”
“I'll do it later.”
“Why are you saying things you wouldn’t do? I don’t understand.”
Leila twiddled her fingers and muttered rudely. She secretly tightened her grip on his hand. She felt sad and sorry. Leila knew that she was too young to understand the structure and flow of the vast world. Maybe when she grew up, she would understand. Who knows.
Aaron held Leila tightly in his arms with the other arm that wasn't holding her hand.
“...I don’t understand myself either.”
Leila's small body was too big to hold in his arms. Aaron pulled the blanket that was covering his back over Leila's back and head, buried his face near the nape of her neck, and sniffled.
“You’re so... always, always testing me. You shouldn’t come by like this out of the blue when a man is alone at night.”
“I always come at night. I have my own daily routine during the day, so I’m busy. And you were always alone.”
"Still."
“Then should I not come?”
Bam.
"Ah."
Aaron dropped the skewer he had just cleaned off the soot from as if he were surprised.
“Oh, sorry, sorry. I’ll tell you again.”
Leila was a little surprised by Aaron's stiff, unnatural movements and his face that quickly turned pale. His shoulders also flinched every time the bell rang. She learned one thing about Aaron. He was a real soldier.
“Aaron is like my dad. You hate the sound of bells.”
“...”
“My father doesn’t like to talk, but he says that he also fought in the war. He got an ear injury during that time and is always screaming. But he can hear the sound of bells like a ghost, so he always makes Mom suffer.”
The nine bells scattered, and the sound of sparks flying and the river flowing with strong currents filled the air. Leila looked down at Aaron's fist, which was slowly releasing, and asked.
“You told me I could ask you anything.”
“...Yes, ask.”
“Did you kill a lot?”
Aaron looked up to face her. Leila asked him curtly, as if to scold him for not answering.
“You don’t want to answer today either?”
“Rather than that...”
“Then another question. Why did you go to war? To make money, Aaron? You really, um, don’t look like a soldier. Or are all the soldiers in Dublin like Aaron? I heard they’re really bad people.”
For the first time, Aaron's heart sank as if he were dead.
The anxiety in Leila’s eyes was so real that it was hard to believe that she was simply asking out of curiosity. Aaron clenched his fists. The past had always caught up with him. At moments when he didn’t want it to. Therefore, it was something he couldn’t just laugh off forever. Even if it wasn’t Leila, it was a problem he had to face at least once.
Aaron pulled away, trying to keep his chin still as a smile threatened to crumble.
“...To put it simply.”
His only consolation was that his voice was calmer than expected.
“I enlisted in the military when I was a medical student, and when the war broke out, I was listed as a conscripted soldier. And... I’m not really a retired soldier.”
“...”
“It would be more appropriate to say that I am a deserter, shamefully.”
Leila was a little surprised.
"Uh."
“The last battle was the Battle of Trobia.”
“I see. Ah.”
“I don’t remember killing Ramlock directly, as I was a medical officer. However, most of the people I saved were soldiers from Dublin, and some of them had medals. If you say I killed them indirectly, I will accept that. If I hadn’t saved them, they wouldn’t have killed anyone. However...”
“...”
“...Ah, I don’t know how to say this so that it doesn’t sound like an excuse... Well, I don’t know. No matter how I say it, it’s still an excuse.”
Leila remained silent, her knees clasped together.
“...When I realized I couldn’t become an astronomer, I decided to become a doctor. It seemed pretty cool to be someone who could save people. It was also rewarding.”
"Hmm."
“Then, by chance, I was drafted into the military, and when I came to my senses, I was on a battlefield. It was a place where you had to save people to kill them. At first, I had a sense of duty. But when I was assigned to the front line, it was much more than I had imagined.”
Aaron's voice was almost indistinguishable from a sigh.
“...It was really horrible. I was young.”
“...”
“In that situation, various things happened within the Dublin military, and I fled the Trobia battle. After that, as I said before... I left Dublin and wandered around here and there until I came to Casnier.”
"Ah."
“Isn’t it pathetic?”
Aaron was shaking a little. Leila felt sorry for him as he lowered his head and avoided her eyes. Leila moved to sit next to him and covered his back with the blanket she was holding.
“...There was no need to go into such detail.”
“I thought you were curious since last time. I didn’t want Leila to misunderstand.”
“My maternal uncle died in the last war.”
Aaron was momentarily speechless. Leila smiled, her eyes bloodshot.
“The person I love in the world next to my father is my maternal uncle. After my mother died, I lived with my maternal uncle and my father. In a way, my maternal uncle was like a mother to me. Well, he ended up going out to make money, so that’s how it turned out.”
“...”
“That’s why I asked. Even if Aaron is a good person, there’s always that one chance.”
No matter how indifferent Leila thought, he was ultimately a Ramrock. She couldn't help but think about his nationality or the victims of the last war. The reason she lost her beloved uncle. Was it the Dubliners or Dublin that caused her to lose his uncle? She didn't know enough to clearly distinguish between ideology and the individual.
“...That’s just how it was. Don’t worry about it. My father said that not many people fight because they want to fight.”
As Aaron's silence grew longer, Leila's chest began to ache. Leila added incoherently.
“My father told me not to hate him. He told me to accept that it was fate. It’s hard to live with resentment, whether it’s toward yourself or others. That’s why I don’t hate him. It would have been better if my uncle hadn’t left, but I believe that my uncle also contributed a little to the peace we have today. I’m proud of him.”
“...It’s late, but I also wish you peace.”
Leila smiled slightly.
“Even if Aaron doesn’t beg, I know my uncle is in a good place because he’s a good person. And if Aaron didn’t trick me, you're not the one who stole my uncle. It’s just... I don’t know. Why am I saying this?”
“Leila. I’m sorry.”
“Why are you sorry?”
“I'm sorry.”
“So, why?”
Aaron pulled down Leila's wrist, which was hovering around her cheek. His hand gained strength. His palm was hot. The man's large hand slowly slipped around her small palm, and soon he held it tightly as if interlocking his fingers. Only then did he ask.
“...Can I hold it?”
“You already caught it.”
“...There’s one thing I couldn’t say.”
“What is it?”
“I'll do it later.”
“Why are you saying things you wouldn’t do? I don’t understand.”
Leila twiddled her fingers and muttered rudely. She secretly tightened her grip on his hand. She felt sad and sorry. Leila knew that she was too young to understand the structure and flow of the vast world. Maybe when she grew up, she would understand. Who knows.
Aaron held Leila tightly in his arms with the other arm that wasn't holding her hand.
“...I don’t understand myself either.”
Leila's small body was too big to hold in his arms. Aaron pulled the blanket that was covering his back over Leila's back and head, buried his face near the nape of her neck, and sniffled.
“You’re so... always, always testing me. You shouldn’t come by like this out of the blue when a man is alone at night.”
“I always come at night. I have my own daily routine during the day, so I’m busy. And you were always alone.”
"Still."
“Then should I not come?”
Support Novellate!
Comments
Post a Comment