32. Abandoned Dog
The Peneus Empire faced its greatest crisis since its founding.
The Emperor was ill, and the Crown Prince was away at war in a border dispute with Asala. The Imperial Family was now without a leader to lead the Empire.
The Emperor, who had been ill for some time, did not meet people for some reason and only sought the care of the Empress. Rumors spread that the Emperor was mad and would only call out someone's name.
Just one month after the Crown Prince's absence, the foreign Empress, Kalista, became the real power in the Peneus Empire.
Kalista was running the empire together with Duke Turbol, the regent whom the Crown Prince had designated as his successor. Naturally, the Empress was treated as the Emperor. However, this had nothing to do with Daphne.
Was it fate? The Emperor, who had been eyeing her so intently, became ill and could no longer harm her. With the threat that had been creeping up on her gone, she was able to become an ordinary maid.
A little bit of hair.
“You, clean the stove today.”
The palace usually had a set of tasks for each servant. However, Daphne was an exception. Daphne was mostly given dirty work to do.
If her work had been as regular as before, she would have found peace of mind, but it was difficult because it was different every time.
Daphne swept the black ash-covered stove, squelching. Usually, squelching the stove was done by small, young servants, but in Daphne's case, it was 'special treatment.'
Daphne was, of course, not allowed to go out either. The only good thing was that she was guaranteed a holiday.
She had a hard time, but not enough to die, and on the surface, she seemed to have some rest. She even got a paycheck, though it was a tiny bit.
She doesn't know why they gave her this money, but she saved it up little by little. People pointed at her and ostracized her, but not as much as before.
Olga, whom she occasionally ran into, would just glare at her, perhaps because she was taking fertility drugs. Daphne knew why she was the one taking on the dirty work.
Olga was very close to the maid. She said something, and now she is out of favor with the maid.
“Daphne, eat this.”
It was thanks to Sarah that she could laugh during that difficult time. Sarah would sometimes offer her bread after she went out.
Sarah, who had recently been assigned to clean the kitchen, brought a dessert that only the upper-class maids were allowed to eat, and she happily shared it.
The expiration date was long for a nice dress, so Daphne decided to give it to her as a gift, holding a jingling coin.
It was when Sarah was approaching her lodgings.
“Why do you keep being so nice to her?”
She heard Amanda grumbling.
“Sarah. Why are you so nice? You really don’t have to do that. She is...”
“Amanda, I’m okay.”
“...”
“I like her the best right now. It’s okay.”
“...”
“And, she's pitiful.”
Daphne smiled when she heard Sarah's voice.
“You too. Are you feeding that poor thing? Do you think of her as your friend?”
“Amanda, do I really have to answer that?”
A poor kid who isn't a close friend. A kid who deserves pity.
She was a person who was starving for sympathy. Why was her heart empty when she wanted sympathy?
Again, the heart that had been shrinking collapsed. Daphne leaned against the wall and looked up at the sky. She was out of breath. She felt like she was going to die from being suffocated.
There was a day when shr shuddered with guilt about Fabian. But as time passed, the guilt eased. She thought about taking her life, but right before she did, she remembered Asherad's threat and couldn't do it.
For Fabian's family. Is that a valid statement at a time when Fabian is increasingly forgotten?
Daphne looked at her wrist, which she couldn't cut in the end, and thought. She hoped to be happy. It was a fragile belief that she might be happy someday...
News of Asherad came intermittently. He continued to send reports of victories. He occasionally sent loot to the royal family, but there was no news from Daphne.
Of course, Daphne knew the answer.
He was simply not the kind of person who would give something like that. She was abandoned. Yes, that was true. Asherad just wanted to trample on Daphne, and even to satisfy his lust.
Yeah, that was the most effective.
Daphne realized her situation anew. She had been Asherad's pet. Now she was just an abandoned dog.
On a lush summer day, Daphne walked in the garden.
Three years had passed. She was twenty-one, older, and her ego had become more worn.
The golden sunlight beautifully illuminated the green trees. As she looked up at the sky as usual, something fell on her forehead. It was a raindrop.
The sun was shining beautifully, but the rain kept falling.
Daphne, in the rain, thought about the man who had chased her that day. The man who had chased her, even though she had been beaten by Kalista, and was so scared that she had run away.
It was a cold autumn rain like that time. The soft rain beat against the glossy leaves. Daphne closed her eyes as she was hit by the rain.
She hates to admit it, but as time goes by and hatred grows tiresome, only one emotion remains.
She realized her own wretchedness anew. Daphne's heart was still subordinate to Asherad. She still liked the man from back then.
Because she couldn't forget that bright smile from back then. Daphne would never forget him when the fox rain fell.
Daphne looked up at the sky, tears or rain running down her face. Daphne looked up at the sky like an idiot until her black maid's uniform was soaked.
Daphne, who had become aware of her feelings for him, thought.
This is not normal.
Let's run away.
I want to run away.
I have to run away.
This is how it is: only the self that has been tamed and obeyed like a dog remains. Now, Asherad will not care about her. Daphne felt pain at that.
Like an abandoned dog.
It was clear that Asherad's interests had shifted elsewhere.
Daphne had been punished enough. She had no desire to dwell on this love any longer.
She's leaving everything behind and getting out of here.
She wanted to die. And yet, more than anyone else, she wanted to live.
Just like her mother had left her will before she died, just like Fabian had wished, she smiled and was happy. That was Daphne's desire.
She wanted to escape from this prison-like palace. Otherwise, she would be no different from a dog waiting for its owner.
Daphne didn't want to keep waiting for him.
“Sarah, I have a favor to ask.”
So Daphne asked her 'friend' for the first and last time, for freedom, no matter what the outcome would be. Because that's what she wanted.
Sarah seemed troubled, but then helped Daphne. It seemed like she was taking advantage of her compassion and warmth...
Daphne was that desperate.
On the day Asherad returned, Daphne chose to run away, not knowing that he would catch her.
The moment she improved, Asherad knew that Daphne would run away, so he went to the inn where she would go and bribed the owner to wait for her in advance.
Only then did Daphne realize.
Three years ago or later, Asherad had no intention of letting her go.
And now, she's back to reality.
Daphne looked at Asherad. The man, whose breathing was quiet, was sleeping soundly. She absentmindedly recalled the past.
Perhaps because she had given up somewhere, shr didn't feel frustrated with despair at being caught again.
When she first met him again, her emotions were strangely revived, but the moment she felt helpless, they began to rapidly disappear.
She doesn't know why she's doing this. She might have already gone crazy.
Daphne laughed.
What happened to Sarah? She already knew she was dead. She wanted to at least collect her body.
She was still living in that shabby room, and her life had not changed. In that ambiguity, only physical relations continued.
She wants to run away.
But that's impossible.
Daphne suppressed her desire and got up from her seat. She hastily put on some clothes. Asherad was fast asleep. This was the first time this had happened.
Daphne quietly left the room.
She knew she couldn't leave the palace. She just wanted to...leave him. Because every time she slept with him, he would leave her asleep.
It was the same even after Asherad became the Emperor. She recalled her shitty past. Her mother's mistakes, the palace she was forced into by the Emperor. Fabian, Asherad.
The slightly innocent days have already passed, and only a woman who has accepted everything remains.
The cold dawn air chilled her body. Daphne closed her clothes and went back to her old room. To that dirty room that even Asherad hated to come to, to that coffin-like room, to find rest.
The Peneus Empire faced its greatest crisis since its founding.
The Emperor was ill, and the Crown Prince was away at war in a border dispute with Asala. The Imperial Family was now without a leader to lead the Empire.
The Emperor, who had been ill for some time, did not meet people for some reason and only sought the care of the Empress. Rumors spread that the Emperor was mad and would only call out someone's name.
Just one month after the Crown Prince's absence, the foreign Empress, Kalista, became the real power in the Peneus Empire.
Kalista was running the empire together with Duke Turbol, the regent whom the Crown Prince had designated as his successor. Naturally, the Empress was treated as the Emperor. However, this had nothing to do with Daphne.
Was it fate? The Emperor, who had been eyeing her so intently, became ill and could no longer harm her. With the threat that had been creeping up on her gone, she was able to become an ordinary maid.
A little bit of hair.
“You, clean the stove today.”
The palace usually had a set of tasks for each servant. However, Daphne was an exception. Daphne was mostly given dirty work to do.
If her work had been as regular as before, she would have found peace of mind, but it was difficult because it was different every time.
Daphne swept the black ash-covered stove, squelching. Usually, squelching the stove was done by small, young servants, but in Daphne's case, it was 'special treatment.'
Daphne was, of course, not allowed to go out either. The only good thing was that she was guaranteed a holiday.
She had a hard time, but not enough to die, and on the surface, she seemed to have some rest. She even got a paycheck, though it was a tiny bit.
She doesn't know why they gave her this money, but she saved it up little by little. People pointed at her and ostracized her, but not as much as before.
Olga, whom she occasionally ran into, would just glare at her, perhaps because she was taking fertility drugs. Daphne knew why she was the one taking on the dirty work.
Olga was very close to the maid. She said something, and now she is out of favor with the maid.
“Daphne, eat this.”
It was thanks to Sarah that she could laugh during that difficult time. Sarah would sometimes offer her bread after she went out.
Sarah, who had recently been assigned to clean the kitchen, brought a dessert that only the upper-class maids were allowed to eat, and she happily shared it.
The expiration date was long for a nice dress, so Daphne decided to give it to her as a gift, holding a jingling coin.
It was when Sarah was approaching her lodgings.
“Why do you keep being so nice to her?”
She heard Amanda grumbling.
“Sarah. Why are you so nice? You really don’t have to do that. She is...”
“Amanda, I’m okay.”
“...”
“I like her the best right now. It’s okay.”
“...”
“And, she's pitiful.”
Daphne smiled when she heard Sarah's voice.
“You too. Are you feeding that poor thing? Do you think of her as your friend?”
“Amanda, do I really have to answer that?”
A poor kid who isn't a close friend. A kid who deserves pity.
She was a person who was starving for sympathy. Why was her heart empty when she wanted sympathy?
Again, the heart that had been shrinking collapsed. Daphne leaned against the wall and looked up at the sky. She was out of breath. She felt like she was going to die from being suffocated.
There was a day when shr shuddered with guilt about Fabian. But as time passed, the guilt eased. She thought about taking her life, but right before she did, she remembered Asherad's threat and couldn't do it.
For Fabian's family. Is that a valid statement at a time when Fabian is increasingly forgotten?
Daphne looked at her wrist, which she couldn't cut in the end, and thought. She hoped to be happy. It was a fragile belief that she might be happy someday...
News of Asherad came intermittently. He continued to send reports of victories. He occasionally sent loot to the royal family, but there was no news from Daphne.
Of course, Daphne knew the answer.
He was simply not the kind of person who would give something like that. She was abandoned. Yes, that was true. Asherad just wanted to trample on Daphne, and even to satisfy his lust.
Yeah, that was the most effective.
Daphne realized her situation anew. She had been Asherad's pet. Now she was just an abandoned dog.
On a lush summer day, Daphne walked in the garden.
Three years had passed. She was twenty-one, older, and her ego had become more worn.
The golden sunlight beautifully illuminated the green trees. As she looked up at the sky as usual, something fell on her forehead. It was a raindrop.
The sun was shining beautifully, but the rain kept falling.
Daphne, in the rain, thought about the man who had chased her that day. The man who had chased her, even though she had been beaten by Kalista, and was so scared that she had run away.
It was a cold autumn rain like that time. The soft rain beat against the glossy leaves. Daphne closed her eyes as she was hit by the rain.
She hates to admit it, but as time goes by and hatred grows tiresome, only one emotion remains.
She realized her own wretchedness anew. Daphne's heart was still subordinate to Asherad. She still liked the man from back then.
Because she couldn't forget that bright smile from back then. Daphne would never forget him when the fox rain fell.
Daphne looked up at the sky, tears or rain running down her face. Daphne looked up at the sky like an idiot until her black maid's uniform was soaked.
Daphne, who had become aware of her feelings for him, thought.
This is not normal.
Let's run away.
I want to run away.
I have to run away.
This is how it is: only the self that has been tamed and obeyed like a dog remains. Now, Asherad will not care about her. Daphne felt pain at that.
Like an abandoned dog.
It was clear that Asherad's interests had shifted elsewhere.
Daphne had been punished enough. She had no desire to dwell on this love any longer.
She's leaving everything behind and getting out of here.
She wanted to die. And yet, more than anyone else, she wanted to live.
Just like her mother had left her will before she died, just like Fabian had wished, she smiled and was happy. That was Daphne's desire.
She wanted to escape from this prison-like palace. Otherwise, she would be no different from a dog waiting for its owner.
Daphne didn't want to keep waiting for him.
“Sarah, I have a favor to ask.”
So Daphne asked her 'friend' for the first and last time, for freedom, no matter what the outcome would be. Because that's what she wanted.
Sarah seemed troubled, but then helped Daphne. It seemed like she was taking advantage of her compassion and warmth...
Daphne was that desperate.
On the day Asherad returned, Daphne chose to run away, not knowing that he would catch her.
The moment she improved, Asherad knew that Daphne would run away, so he went to the inn where she would go and bribed the owner to wait for her in advance.
Only then did Daphne realize.
Three years ago or later, Asherad had no intention of letting her go.
***
And now, she's back to reality.
Daphne looked at Asherad. The man, whose breathing was quiet, was sleeping soundly. She absentmindedly recalled the past.
Perhaps because she had given up somewhere, shr didn't feel frustrated with despair at being caught again.
When she first met him again, her emotions were strangely revived, but the moment she felt helpless, they began to rapidly disappear.
She doesn't know why she's doing this. She might have already gone crazy.
Daphne laughed.
What happened to Sarah? She already knew she was dead. She wanted to at least collect her body.
She was still living in that shabby room, and her life had not changed. In that ambiguity, only physical relations continued.
She wants to run away.
But that's impossible.
Daphne suppressed her desire and got up from her seat. She hastily put on some clothes. Asherad was fast asleep. This was the first time this had happened.
Daphne quietly left the room.
She knew she couldn't leave the palace. She just wanted to...leave him. Because every time she slept with him, he would leave her asleep.
It was the same even after Asherad became the Emperor. She recalled her shitty past. Her mother's mistakes, the palace she was forced into by the Emperor. Fabian, Asherad.
The slightly innocent days have already passed, and only a woman who has accepted everything remains.
The cold dawn air chilled her body. Daphne closed her clothes and went back to her old room. To that dirty room that even Asherad hated to come to, to that coffin-like room, to find rest.
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