“...”
I let out a heavy sigh.
He didn't listen to me at all. I didn't have the confidence to persuade him from the beginning, but I didn't expect him to be so stubborn in his refusal. What else can I do to get him to agree?
I chewed my lips as I tried to come up with a plausible excuse in my head. It was just as Laskan was about to let out a sigh.
“Your Highness, this is urgent.”
Someone made a noise outside the tent. Laskan asked me coldly without even looking at me.
“What's going on?”
“A messenger has arrived from Kairak.”
Only then did Laskan turn his heavy gaze away from me.
“If the person impersonating the Princess is not handed over, we will resort to all-out war.”
After the messenger from Kairak came and went, the atmosphere in the camp became tense. Laskan tried his best to hide this atmosphere from me, but... To be honest, it was difficult to hide any secrets behind a single, thin tent.
Especially when news of Kairak's army advancing northward was coming in every day.
Impersonator of the Princess. The effect of the words that Kairak had given me was tremendous. In an instant, I had fallen from something noble to a mere fraud.
Even the knights who were deeply loyal to Laskan would often act half-heartedly in front of me, and the eyes of the common soldiers were even more blatant.
All-out war. The sharp sensitivity of the edge of preparation for the end poured into me at every moment.
If we were to simply compare military superiority, it was true that Ashkabad had an overwhelming advantage. However, Kairak had the Emperor's banner.
That alone was enough to determine victory or defeat. The loyal knights of Ashkabad would not have attempted a proper attack against those who bore the Emperor's banner.
The anxiety spread throughout the barracks in an instant. The five days I spent in the barracks were, in other words, the same period in which Laskan desperately tried to suppress the soldiers' discontent.
Low rations, a declining social standing, the burden of pointing a sword at the imperial family...
Even to my untrained eyes, I could see that everything had reached its limit.
“Your Excellency, it is time for you to make a decision.”
It was the night I visited Laskan's barracks. I stopped dead in my tracks at the sound of a voice coming from inside. The gatekeeper tried to tell him that I was there, but I quickly raised my finger and put it to my lips.
The voice that had first urged him to make a decision spoke again.
“The laxity of discipline within the military is going too far. We are barely holding on, but it is difficult to say for sure how long we can suppress discontent.”
Through the thin tent, Laskan's short answer could be heard dully.
“Have I ever put off a decision?”
“The Princess’s body must be handed over to Kairak.”
“Not allowed.”
There was a brief silence. Several people began to speak, one after another.
“I think everyone feels the same way. I would go to all-out war for Your Excellency, but...”
“The very words ‘Princess impostor’ are suspicious, Your Excellency.”
“Please, don’t be so angry...”
There was nothing more to hear.
I straightened my back, which had been bent to listen, lifted the blind, and went inside.
Several people stood up from the round table with embarrassed faces because of my sudden intrusion.
“Your Highness, the Princess.”
“Your Highness, I greet you.”
Most of them quickly averted their eyes upon seeing me, and some lowered their heads in surprise.
I deliberately ignored the commotion and fixed my gaze on Laskan. I opened my mouth with a trembling breath.
“I have something to say.”
He had an indifferent look on his face, as if he had expected my appearance. Laskan clenched and unclenched his fists as he spoke.
“This is a commander’s meeting. This is not the place for Your Highness.”
“But I have to say this now.”
“Southern Centurion. Take Her Highness out.”
Laskan nodded to the knight beside him. I quickly opened my mouth before the knight could grab my arm.
“I will comply with Kairak’s demands. I will go to the capital to stand trial.”
A ripple of grief, regret, relief, and awe began to spread among the knights surrounding the round table.
Laskan was still looking at me without any wavering.
“...What Your Highness is saying now is the same as telling us to hand over the royal family that we should protect and avoid Kairak’s blade.”
The opposition came from an unexpected person: an old man with a clean-looking face.
He furrowed his brow as if he were reluctant to even discuss such behavior.
“I’m not saying I’m going to kill myself. Quite the opposite.”
“...”
“His Majesty believes that I am the true Princess, and so he expects you to protect me in times of crisis like this.”
“...”
“As an Imperial Army.”
I lowered my hood and untied the seal the Emperor had given me from around my neck.
As I placed it on the table with a loud thud, without anyone saying anything, there was audible gasping here and there.
I looked at the knights and spat out each word, one by one.
“I, Anastasia Roxanna Alekseevna Sol Igrantia, as the Princess and the only heir of the Empire, command you to serve in the Imperial Army.”
I took a deep breath and looked Laskan in the eye without avoiding his golden eyes.
“I call upon the power of the North.”
The knights who heard my plan soon began to nod and agree, except for one person.
But before Laskan was my lover, he was a commander in charge of hundreds of thousands of men, and rejecting this plan would not only put him and me at risk, but everyone in this faction.
But what I hadn't considered was,
“I will pretend I did not hear it, Your Highness.”
It turned out he was crazier than I thought.
We stared at each other for a long time. I gave an order in a cold voice.
“Everyone, please step aside.”
In a flash, the two of us were left alone in the barracks. But starting a conversation was another matter. I had no confidence in persuading him, and he had no intention of being persuaded by me.
After a long silence, I called him first.
“Laskan.”
“...Your Highness, please.”
He spoke desperately. He raised his large hand and ran it nervously over his dry face.
“I will do anything else. Please refrain from asking me to hand Your Highness over to Kairak.”
“I didn’t say I was going to die.”
Laskan's face was corpse-pale, a mixture of fatigue and worry.
“Your Highness. I am afraid to risk your safety on something I cannot guarantee.”
It's scary. I opened my mouth stupidly, forgetting all the excuses I had prepared.
To the nobles of Igrantia, the word fear was nothing short of shameful. Men, in particular, were taught from a very young age that they should not feel such feelings, and they believed it was right.
This was the most Laskan could ask of me. I could barely move my dry lips.
“But, Laskan. As you know, there is no other way now.”
“You might as well apply for asylum.”
“...”
“I will serve Your Highness closely.”
It was a dreamlike story. For a moment, I was so captivated that I imagined that life.
The first few years will probably be fine, because it'll feel like you're traveling around.
But in the end, it was obvious that he would not be able to get along with anyone. The common people would instinctively feel uncomfortable with him, and what would be left for us would be the eternal stigma of being a fraud.
Even though that's not the case.
I continued, gripping it so hard that my fingernails left marks on my palms.
“Then really, yes, I’ll be safe... But think about it, Laskan.”
“...”
“If you can’t settle down anywhere and just wander around like that, will you really be happy?”
I walked closer to Laskan and rested my head on his solid chest.
“We’ll have to live our whole lives on the run. You and I will go down in history as frauds.”
“...”
“The most terrifying thing is that Duke Kairak will be recorded as the victor.”
At those words, Laskan raised his head a little more.
“I’ve been thinking about this moment all along, sharpening myself like a blade. There’s no better plan. I’ve come this far, and I can’t give up here just to protect my own safety.”
“But the question still remains. Whether Kairak will even hold a trial as Your Highness wishes...”
“I’m sure of that.”
I clenched my fist.
“He will definitely open a trial. That would be the easiest way to prove to the world that I am not legitimate.”
“...”
“He will think he has me cornered, but it will be Duke Kairak who has actually been caught in the trap.”
Laskan looked at me with narrowed eyes for a long time. Then, finally, he slowly placed his hands on my shoulders.
“I have made a vow to Your Highness.”
“...”
“Your Highness, do whatever you wish, and I will be your will. Even if it means dying, and I do not wish to do it, I will gladly follow.”
“...”
“When I made that oath, I had a feeling that this day would come someday.”
While I was frozen, not knowing what he meant, Laskan tightened his grip on my shoulder and made me take a few steps back.
“I would like to escort you there myself... but I understand that it is not what you want. I will send a couple of knights to escort you to the capital.”
“...”
“Go.”
So that the enemies will know that I have abandoned you.
He gritted his teeth and muttered, as if he couldn't bear to see me leave. I knew that was the maximum concession Laskan could make.
I bit my lip as if I were chewing it. I was a woman who was only satisfied if I achieved victory in my own way, and it was both his misfortune and my good fortune that Laskan fell in love with me like that.
I put my hand on Laskan's cheek. Laskan buried his head in my palm and closed his eyes. My hand fell regretfully.
"Thank you."
There wasn't even enough time to say goodbye. I ran out of the barracks without looking back.
It was exactly fourteen days since the lockdown was declared, and two days since I escaped it.
I boarded a carriage heading to the capital.
I let out a heavy sigh.
He didn't listen to me at all. I didn't have the confidence to persuade him from the beginning, but I didn't expect him to be so stubborn in his refusal. What else can I do to get him to agree?
I chewed my lips as I tried to come up with a plausible excuse in my head. It was just as Laskan was about to let out a sigh.
“Your Highness, this is urgent.”
Someone made a noise outside the tent. Laskan asked me coldly without even looking at me.
“What's going on?”
“A messenger has arrived from Kairak.”
Only then did Laskan turn his heavy gaze away from me.
“If the person impersonating the Princess is not handed over, we will resort to all-out war.”
***
After the messenger from Kairak came and went, the atmosphere in the camp became tense. Laskan tried his best to hide this atmosphere from me, but... To be honest, it was difficult to hide any secrets behind a single, thin tent.
Especially when news of Kairak's army advancing northward was coming in every day.
Impersonator of the Princess. The effect of the words that Kairak had given me was tremendous. In an instant, I had fallen from something noble to a mere fraud.
Even the knights who were deeply loyal to Laskan would often act half-heartedly in front of me, and the eyes of the common soldiers were even more blatant.
All-out war. The sharp sensitivity of the edge of preparation for the end poured into me at every moment.
If we were to simply compare military superiority, it was true that Ashkabad had an overwhelming advantage. However, Kairak had the Emperor's banner.
That alone was enough to determine victory or defeat. The loyal knights of Ashkabad would not have attempted a proper attack against those who bore the Emperor's banner.
The anxiety spread throughout the barracks in an instant. The five days I spent in the barracks were, in other words, the same period in which Laskan desperately tried to suppress the soldiers' discontent.
Low rations, a declining social standing, the burden of pointing a sword at the imperial family...
Even to my untrained eyes, I could see that everything had reached its limit.
“Your Excellency, it is time for you to make a decision.”
It was the night I visited Laskan's barracks. I stopped dead in my tracks at the sound of a voice coming from inside. The gatekeeper tried to tell him that I was there, but I quickly raised my finger and put it to my lips.
The voice that had first urged him to make a decision spoke again.
“The laxity of discipline within the military is going too far. We are barely holding on, but it is difficult to say for sure how long we can suppress discontent.”
Through the thin tent, Laskan's short answer could be heard dully.
“Have I ever put off a decision?”
“The Princess’s body must be handed over to Kairak.”
“Not allowed.”
There was a brief silence. Several people began to speak, one after another.
“I think everyone feels the same way. I would go to all-out war for Your Excellency, but...”
“The very words ‘Princess impostor’ are suspicious, Your Excellency.”
“Please, don’t be so angry...”
There was nothing more to hear.
I straightened my back, which had been bent to listen, lifted the blind, and went inside.
Several people stood up from the round table with embarrassed faces because of my sudden intrusion.
“Your Highness, the Princess.”
“Your Highness, I greet you.”
Most of them quickly averted their eyes upon seeing me, and some lowered their heads in surprise.
I deliberately ignored the commotion and fixed my gaze on Laskan. I opened my mouth with a trembling breath.
“I have something to say.”
He had an indifferent look on his face, as if he had expected my appearance. Laskan clenched and unclenched his fists as he spoke.
“This is a commander’s meeting. This is not the place for Your Highness.”
“But I have to say this now.”
“Southern Centurion. Take Her Highness out.”
Laskan nodded to the knight beside him. I quickly opened my mouth before the knight could grab my arm.
“I will comply with Kairak’s demands. I will go to the capital to stand trial.”
A ripple of grief, regret, relief, and awe began to spread among the knights surrounding the round table.
Laskan was still looking at me without any wavering.
“...What Your Highness is saying now is the same as telling us to hand over the royal family that we should protect and avoid Kairak’s blade.”
The opposition came from an unexpected person: an old man with a clean-looking face.
He furrowed his brow as if he were reluctant to even discuss such behavior.
“I’m not saying I’m going to kill myself. Quite the opposite.”
“...”
“His Majesty believes that I am the true Princess, and so he expects you to protect me in times of crisis like this.”
“...”
“As an Imperial Army.”
I lowered my hood and untied the seal the Emperor had given me from around my neck.
As I placed it on the table with a loud thud, without anyone saying anything, there was audible gasping here and there.
I looked at the knights and spat out each word, one by one.
“I, Anastasia Roxanna Alekseevna Sol Igrantia, as the Princess and the only heir of the Empire, command you to serve in the Imperial Army.”
I took a deep breath and looked Laskan in the eye without avoiding his golden eyes.
“I call upon the power of the North.”
***
The knights who heard my plan soon began to nod and agree, except for one person.
But before Laskan was my lover, he was a commander in charge of hundreds of thousands of men, and rejecting this plan would not only put him and me at risk, but everyone in this faction.
But what I hadn't considered was,
“I will pretend I did not hear it, Your Highness.”
It turned out he was crazier than I thought.
We stared at each other for a long time. I gave an order in a cold voice.
“Everyone, please step aside.”
In a flash, the two of us were left alone in the barracks. But starting a conversation was another matter. I had no confidence in persuading him, and he had no intention of being persuaded by me.
After a long silence, I called him first.
“Laskan.”
“...Your Highness, please.”
He spoke desperately. He raised his large hand and ran it nervously over his dry face.
“I will do anything else. Please refrain from asking me to hand Your Highness over to Kairak.”
“I didn’t say I was going to die.”
Laskan's face was corpse-pale, a mixture of fatigue and worry.
“Your Highness. I am afraid to risk your safety on something I cannot guarantee.”
It's scary. I opened my mouth stupidly, forgetting all the excuses I had prepared.
To the nobles of Igrantia, the word fear was nothing short of shameful. Men, in particular, were taught from a very young age that they should not feel such feelings, and they believed it was right.
This was the most Laskan could ask of me. I could barely move my dry lips.
“But, Laskan. As you know, there is no other way now.”
“You might as well apply for asylum.”
“...”
“I will serve Your Highness closely.”
It was a dreamlike story. For a moment, I was so captivated that I imagined that life.
The first few years will probably be fine, because it'll feel like you're traveling around.
But in the end, it was obvious that he would not be able to get along with anyone. The common people would instinctively feel uncomfortable with him, and what would be left for us would be the eternal stigma of being a fraud.
Even though that's not the case.
I continued, gripping it so hard that my fingernails left marks on my palms.
“Then really, yes, I’ll be safe... But think about it, Laskan.”
“...”
“If you can’t settle down anywhere and just wander around like that, will you really be happy?”
I walked closer to Laskan and rested my head on his solid chest.
“We’ll have to live our whole lives on the run. You and I will go down in history as frauds.”
“...”
“The most terrifying thing is that Duke Kairak will be recorded as the victor.”
At those words, Laskan raised his head a little more.
“I’ve been thinking about this moment all along, sharpening myself like a blade. There’s no better plan. I’ve come this far, and I can’t give up here just to protect my own safety.”
“But the question still remains. Whether Kairak will even hold a trial as Your Highness wishes...”
“I’m sure of that.”
I clenched my fist.
“He will definitely open a trial. That would be the easiest way to prove to the world that I am not legitimate.”
“...”
“He will think he has me cornered, but it will be Duke Kairak who has actually been caught in the trap.”
Laskan looked at me with narrowed eyes for a long time. Then, finally, he slowly placed his hands on my shoulders.
“I have made a vow to Your Highness.”
“...”
“Your Highness, do whatever you wish, and I will be your will. Even if it means dying, and I do not wish to do it, I will gladly follow.”
“...”
“When I made that oath, I had a feeling that this day would come someday.”
While I was frozen, not knowing what he meant, Laskan tightened his grip on my shoulder and made me take a few steps back.
“I would like to escort you there myself... but I understand that it is not what you want. I will send a couple of knights to escort you to the capital.”
“...”
“Go.”
So that the enemies will know that I have abandoned you.
He gritted his teeth and muttered, as if he couldn't bear to see me leave. I knew that was the maximum concession Laskan could make.
I bit my lip as if I were chewing it. I was a woman who was only satisfied if I achieved victory in my own way, and it was both his misfortune and my good fortune that Laskan fell in love with me like that.
I put my hand on Laskan's cheek. Laskan buried his head in my palm and closed his eyes. My hand fell regretfully.
"Thank you."
There wasn't even enough time to say goodbye. I ran out of the barracks without looking back.
***
It was exactly fourteen days since the lockdown was declared, and two days since I escaped it.
I boarded a carriage heading to the capital.
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