"You never realize that there is a line that must not be crossed."
Barcas spoke in his characteristic low-pitched voice. However, his beautiful face was scratched and hardened fiercely as he had the patience to do so.
I twisted my arm and tried to slip it out of his hands. However, the strong grip of the disciplined knight was like a shackle. Standing in the way of the Prince and Ayla like a faithful shield. Barcas pulled me closer and closer, chewing into my face.
"How far do you have to go down to be satisfied? Didn't you show me the bottom and still not be satisfied?"
"Did I show you the bottom?"
I raised my chin and let out a sharp sneer.
"Noble Sir Sheerkan, do you think you know anything about the bottom of human beings? Don't be conceited."
I leaned closer to him, smiling wryly. Unlike the other men, who were confused by the look and scent of my eyes, Barcas did not show any waver. It was just a tired look.
I felt the urge to shove my nails into his icy eyes every night.
"Where you stand, I will look very low. But we still have a long way to go to get to the worst."
I looked him straight in the eye. There was a deep quagmire lurking in his eyes.
This man will sooner or later push himself into it. If so, I'll give them at least a long nail mark before they fall. That's fair.
My deep blue eyes shone with venom. Barcas' eyes looked down at my malevolent face, too, with a hint of danger. As we were staring at each other as if we were going to kill each other, I heard a most pathetic voice behind him..
"Bark."
The man glared at me as if he was going to pierce me, and immediately turned to his fiancée.
Ayla had a pitiful expression that made the viewer's heart sink. She pleaded, carefully pulling Barcas' coat with her fingertips.
"I... I want to change my clothes. Can you take me out of here?"
"...To the command."
Barcas wrapped one arm around Ayla's shoulder and turned around. My presence seemed to have been completely erased from his mind, and his gaze never crossed my shoulder as he walked out of the banquet hall with his fiancée.
I felt the madness that had been controlling me drain in an instant.
The void was filled with despair, pain, and jealousy. However, even in the pain of my intestines being rubbed, I feigned a resolute attitude.
Wearing a triumphant smile as if I had won a victory, I walked toward the terrace where the drinks and food were served. Then, people scrambled out of the way as if to avoid something reluctant.
I didn't hesitate and picked up a new glass with graceful movements. But before I could take two sips, Count Serian, who had been watching our scuffle from afar, hurriedly approached and took the goblet.
"You better leave the banquet hall right away."
"Why?"
I reached for the plate of pomegranates and said calmly.
"Didn't you hear that Her Highness the First Princess told you to enjoy the banquet to the fullest? I haven't had enough of it yet."
"Your Highness's guts are exalted, but behind your back, a dangerous beast is staring at you as if it is about to pounce on you."
The Count pointed to the Crown Prince with a wink. True to his words, Gareth looked as if he was about to engage in a knife fight.
The thick veins were tight on the scruff of his tanned neck, and the tight jaw muscles were twitching faintly. It was clear that he was barely suppressing his temper, which was about to explode.
Normally, I would have provoked him to commit horrific atrocities, but now I didn't have the energy to do so.
I stopped bluffing and put my hand on the back of Count Serian's arm. I walked out of the banquet hall quickly enough to not appear to be running away.
A carriage was already waiting in front of the garden. The guard opened the door as if he had been waiting for it, and I stepped onto the footstool. Then, as I was about to get into the soft seat, someone pushed me up.
I slumped to the floor and looked up. Gareth, who had sprung his guard knight and raised his head into the carriage, was shooting a bloody look at me.
"We're barely enduring your presence."
He growled and wrapped his calloused hands around my neck. The knight couldn't touch the Prince's body and just yelled at him, "What are you doing?"
Gareth ignored the angry knight and strangled me with both hands even harder. I instinctively struggled with my legs and shoved my nails into the back of my brother's swollen hand. But his eyes turned to anger, and he didn't seem to feel any pain.
Gareth chewed on my ear.
"I endured it for a very long time, endured, endured, endured."
The Crown Prince's bright green eyes shone like flames.
"So you don't have to scratch anymore, sister. We already hate you enough..."
Gareth finally loosened his hand and pulled himself up.
I clasped my hands around my neck and inhaled vigorously. I kept coughing, and it was hard to breathe. My face was red, and I was gasping for breath, but the Crown Prince's sinister voice pierced my eardrums.
"Keep that in mind. Your mother is walking around, and her filthy illegitimate daughter is stirring around the imperial palace, and this is only for a time."
Then he kindly closed the door of the wagon himself and left.
As I staggered to my feet, I found that two of my carefully sharpened nails were broken, and my brows curled together. There was sticky blood on the tips of my nails. I touched it warmly and muttered in a voice that was all at rest.
"...I need to raise a new one."
This time, I need to sharpen it. So that I can shove it to the bone.
A fussy, deflated laughter came out of my mouth.
I didn't know why I was laughing.
The useless guard who had hurriedly opened the door to make sure I was safe looked down at me with a stunned expression. In his eyes, I look like I'm crazy. Maybe that's right. I must have gone crazy a long time ago.
I lay naked on the dark floor of the carriage and giggled for a long time.
***
The whole imperial palace was in an uproar. In a few days, the First Princess and the Crown Prince would embark on a pilgrimage. It was a custom that descendants of Darian, the great Emperor who unified the nations, had to perform after becoming an adult.
Ordinary women go on their journey before they get married, and men go on their journey after they turn twenty, and the two of them were arranged according to the Crown Prince's insistence that it was only natural for two people born at the same time to receive God's blessing on the same day.
To escort the two men who had the status of second only to the Emperor and Empress in the empire, an elite unit of the Imperial Palace Knights was brought in. Naturally, the person in charge of the expedition was Barcas, who was the commander of the Guard. Thanks to this, I could often be seen wandering around the castle courtyard through the palace window.
Today, he was still in the pouring rain, checking the condition of his weapons, horses, and other travel equipment. I lay face down on the windowsill, staring at it without blinking.
Barcas looked up at the sky, as if trying to gauge the time. The sight of the silvery rain gently covering his face filled my retina.
It was raining like this on the day I fell in love with him.
I recalled that day.
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