I gave the boy a wary look at the boy who was staring up at me with a wide gaze.
"What are you doing here?"
"I sneaked out of the castle to meet my sister."
The boy spoke so lightly that I felt fierce.
I frowned. My younger brother, Asroth, who had just turned six, was a thorn in my side.
Although we had the same parents, our circumstances were as different as heaven and earth. This innocent-faced boy was the son of the Emperor and Empress, who had officially become a married couple, and I was the seed of an obscene affair.
As I watched Asroth be baptized with the blessing of many, I was filled with jealousy. I couldn't hate the little pool of blood that couldn't even open its eyes properly
Senevere, who read my feelings with astuteness, never allowed her eldest daughter, who was now useless, to approach her precious son.
For this reason, I could only see my brother's face at official events. It was the first time I had seen this child so close since the day of the baptism.
I frowned and looked around.
"Did you come here all the time? If Mother knows..."
"I didn't come alone. I came with Behrens."
The boy said it in a snappy tone and turned to point to one side of the hallway. It was then that I spotted a man in black standing in a deep shadow.
He was once a ghost-faced man who had been by my side. Now he was by Asroth's side, looking wary, as if he would take immediate action if I tried to harm him most slightly.
Bitter water rose from within. The man's dark eyes seemed to tell me that I couldn't be important to anyone.
I hid my twisted intentions and asked in a stern tone.
"What brought you to me?"
"I heard that you are leaving for a long journey soon. So..."
"I'm going a long way?"
I interrupted my brother in a shaky voice.
The boy, who hesitated for a moment as if surprised by the reaction, continued cautiously.
"Mommy said that you will be going with them on this pilgrimage..."
I, who was staring down at my brother's face in a daze, suddenly burst out laughing wildly. I flinched and took a step back. I wonder if I look like I'm crazy in the eyes of this innocent child.
I, who was smiling while holding my belly, bent down to my little brother and asked in a gentle tone.
"What else did Mommy say?"
Asroth hesitated for a long time. He seemed to realize that he was making his sister feel very bad.
However, the boy was not the kind of person who was intimidated by someone and swallowed what he wanted to say.
"Mommy told me that my sister might get married soon. A man named Count Serian wrote a marriage proposal..."
The boy who had been speaking calmly flinched and shut his mouth.
Apparently, I had a very horrible look on my face. The man, who had been silently watching from a distance, stood between Asroth and me. I wonder if he's worried that I'm going to lose my reason in anger and strangle this little thing.
I pretended not to see the man who was wary of me, and stared down at my brother's Innocent face.
"So you're here to congratulate me? Now that your sister, who is the bane of the imperial family, has finally left the imperial palace to marry, do you want to say a joyful goodbye?"
Perhaps he felt the sharp thorns in my soft voice, and the boy's shoulders twitched.
He protested with a frustrated expression.
"If my sister goes away, it will be even harder to meet you than I am now... I wanted to talk to you before that. We are brothers with the same mother."
There was a faint longing in the boy's voice.
"I always wished we could be close like my first sister and brother. But if you get married, we might never get that chance. That's why I came here."
I looked down at his big eyes full of anticipation, unimpressed.
I was completely worthless because of this boy.
The Empress, the Emperor, and the lovely and intelligent Prince were born between them.
I was nothing more than an unsightly stain that they wanted to erase from that perfect picture. The more Asroth glowed, the darker the darkness surrounding me.
It was miserable that I was envious of this young person to death. In fact, I hated being face-to-face like this.
I sneered mercilessly at the boy whose eyes lit up with unyielding anticipation.
"Do you want me to throw myself into your service just as the Empress goes to great lengths to make my brother Emperor?"
"That's what I meant..!"
"Even if you don't have to go all the way, my mother must have already planned everything for you on how to use me. My marriage must have been arranged because it would benefit you. So, my brother, don't have any useless expectations."
Asroth didn't seem to have much tolerance for outright hostility towards him. Just by looking at the helpless expression, I could see how thoroughly this child had grown up.
This child has probably never experienced staying up all night in fear. I thought that today's meeting might be his first wound.
I had a sharp smile on my lips.
"I have no intention of being your sweet and devoted sister. Because I hate you as much as the twins."
The boy's big eyes became slumped from the shock. To that pathetic face, I added mercilessly.
"If you understand, won't you just disappear?"
Asroth, who pursed his lips as if to swallow his tears, wasted no time in turning and walking out of the empty hallway. The man in black followed the boy and disappeared without a sound.
I closed the door and walked back to the window. The sky, which had been blue until a moment ago, was turning pale purple.
The workers who were busy moving their luggage left the manor one by one to rest, and none of the knights went back to their lodgings at once.
I, who habitually put my index finger to my mouth, stopped by the stinging pain. Dark red blood was oozing from between the gaping fingernails. When I saw it, the venom that had been leaking out of my heart rose up to my throat.
Swallowing desperately from the screams that threatened to erupt at any moment, I picked up the cloak I had hung on the side of the room and draped it over the thin Shirkot. Then I left the palace without a single maid.
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