CYSWTF - Chapter 63

Episode 63. Because You Are Worthless to Me


Grayon began his meal and said,

“I prepared something delicious, so listen. Milliora would only accuse you of stealing a ring, not give you a piece of candy.”

“...”

“Tell me.”

“Yes?”

I was startled, but he diligently played with his knife and said.

“A thought that just occurred to me, furrowing his brow.”

“I had no thoughts...”

However, Grayon was not a person who could be easily dismissed.

I answered with a feeling of resignation.

“I wondered why you even knew that I was falsely accused. Of course, it’s better than thinking of me as a thief.”

Grayon looked at me as if he had heard something out of the blue.

“You haven’t adjusted to the palace yet, Lorisha Loire. There are no secrets here.”

But I answered firmly.

“There are. Your Highness.”

‘I protect Your Highness’s secrets with my life!’

I unconsciously strained my eyes. Then, His Highness Grayon, who had put the fork in his mouth, smiled faintly.

“Yes. I understand.”

“I would appreciate it if you would consider that fact to never change under any circumstances, Your Highness.”

He smiled faintly.

Suddenly, I looked at his knife, which was moving with such elegance.

“Do you know why I am not interested in you, Loire?”

“...I don’t know.”

“Because you are worthless to me.”

How blunt.

However, I continued to eat, maintaining my composure as much as possible. It was partly thanks to the Countess’s sharp tongue and training in harm’s way—she was also helpful to me!—but his indifference could not be said to be entirely disadvantageous to me. His Highness Grayon continued calmly.

“You have no master. What you do for Milliora is more like service, isn’t it?”

“...”

I was slightly shocked. It seemed that was how I looked in the eyes of the royal family.

I certainly had no sense of duty toward Her Highness Milliora.

If I had to say, it was similar to the feeling of getting a job at a store with incredibly good conditions.

The only reason I was holding on in this murderous palace was for my future modest single life.

However, such personal desires seemed like a foul-smelling vice to the royal family. After all, he was a royal who survived on the loyalty of others.

Regardless of who was right, I didn’t want to be seen as a disrespectful and dangerous person to His Highness Grayon.

“I’m doing my best for Her Highness the Princess. Your Highness, the Second Prince.”

“That’s exactly the problem. A maid who is not loyal to any Tagar is stealing the glory of the competition.”

“...”

Yes, I won once. But to say that I stole the glory with that...

“Making Milliora dream a false dream is putting her in danger, Loire.”

“What are you saying...?”

He put down his knife and raised his head.

“So does Milliora truly dream of the Crown Princess?”

“...!”

As I locked eyes with His Highness Grayon, I felt my fingertips grow cold.

His murderous intent was as vivid as it was last time.

I now understood the coldness of Tagar’s silver hair.

That innate ruthlessness and cruelty showed itself momentarily, even without intention. They did not shy away from or hesitate in their nature.

I didn’t know if I would survive another glance like that.

‘Damn tea party!’

But he didn’t need to scare me. I had absolutely no intention of doing well in this competition.

My goal was to at least keep Her Highness’s reputation intact.

‘How can I resolve this misunderstanding?’

I bit my lip. I wanted to explain everything to him.

But then Her Highness Milliora’s face came to mind.

The way she was treated by Her Majesty the Empress and the Princes who took it for granted.

I felt sorry for her, thinking that her life would not change one bit while I left the palace and lived the life I had dreamed of. Don't be crazy.

I said very stiffly.

"The Crown Princess, that's something that would come out at a tea party where people are so drunk that their tongues are twisted, Your Highness."

Don't make people tremble with the stories of drunken fools.

His Highness Grayon frowned at my subtle way of speaking. Even his smile was subtle.

But I straightened up and continued. This was the main point.

“I know what this competition is all about. However, as a maid to Her Highness Milliora, my goal is also clear.”

“Your goal? How dare you...”

“I wish Her Highness the Princess would love me a little more, Your Highness.”

“...”

Ah. I had just driven a nail into my own coffin.

How Her Majesty the Empress treats Her Highness the Princess, how tattered her insides are, the inside story of the imperial family was something I absolutely should not pretend to know.

Before cursing, I should have fixed my temper, which would only explode when someone tried to suppress it!

His Highness Grayon was expressionless, but his eyes were fierce.

He knew what I was saying, and he was extremely offended by the fact that an illegitimate maid like me was pointing out the weakness of the imperial family.

“Watch what you say from now on, Loire.”

However, my voice was full of force. If I stopped talking now, it would be like admitting my mistake.

“I have no desires, Your Highness. I will leave the palace after the competition is over. I will not disturb anyone before that. Because I want to live a long life!”

My breathing was ragged from suppressing my excitement, and my hands were now shaking.

He stared at me and spat out. His voice was soft, fierce, and full of doubt.

“I don’t trust you, Loire.”

I answered gloomily.

“There’s nothing I can do about that, Your Highness.”

His bewildered expression was so vivid that it almost seemed unreal.

“Why?”

“What do you mean...?”

“Then what do you think Milliora will do for you?”

“...Satisfaction.”

“What?”

“The satisfaction of living my life to the best of my ability every day. That’s something no one else can give me, so I have to earn it myself.”

“...”

His Highness Grayon moved his knife again, his face seemingly lost in thought.

I felt like I was pushing each other, even the food I had eaten yesterday, lining up in my esophagus, but I started eating slowly.

It’s hard for people to oppress those who eat the same food as they do. I needed even that small hope. Damn it.

After the meal that seemed like it would never end, he elegantly wiped his mouth with a napkin.

“Since Milliora took Locard to the tea party, I invited you in return, Loire.”

Prince Kydel had left after laughing and having fun, but I! I’ll catch you if you accept a return gift twice.

But I had no choice but to answer politely.

“Yes, Your Highness. Thank you for your hospitality.”

I couldn’t even remember how I got out of the palace.

***

Late at night, Locard went into Grayon’s bedroom with a tired face. Grayon was sipping alcohol alone. Locard, already feeling pleasantly drunk, grumbled to the Prince.

“Do you really have to invite me since I’m only going to sleep at my parents’ house today?”

“I can’t sleep without you.”

Locard waved his hand in disgust.

“Please don’t say that in front of others.”

Such half-joking conversations were close to a long habit.

A forced joke to ease the tension on the battlefield.

Why was he here, to calm the anger that surged up from moment to moment, to focus only on what was in front of him?

Grayon said bitterly.

“You’re not the only one who had a noisy evening.”

“Did you meet someone nice?”

Locard asked him jokingly, knowing Grayon’s frustration.

Grayon’s injuries weren’t limited to physical wounds.

The battlefield, where he was suddenly dragged by the second son of the Emperor, who had grown up well in the palace, was a raw shock to him.

Grayon had been hiding it well up until now, but since the competition began, there were nights when his sensitivity went too far.

The war here was even more nerve-racking because he couldn’t see where the enemy was or what was going on with his own eyes.

Grayon had to get used to it all over again. Even though he thought he was already worn out enough.

If Locard hadn’t been by his side, he would have burst out in rage a long time ago.

That’s why he couldn’t stand Locard leaving the palace even for a day.

Locard looked at him with warm eyes as if he were soothing a child.

There was no other way. He had no choice but to lull his lord to sleep.

Grayon muttered, turning the glass he was holding in his palm.

“A good person... Yes. A good person to some people. I had dinner with Loire today, Locard.”

“...”

Locard sat down across from Grayon, and Grayon saw that the smile had disappeared from his face and said,

“I didn’t say I would kill her. Don’t worry.” 

“Do you really have to say that out loud to be scared?”

“Who are you?” 

“Please don’t say it strangely.”

“The maid said that the reason she helps Milliora is because she lives her life to the fullest. She said that no one else can give her that... How shameless.”

“...That’s just like her.”

Locard got up and poured himself a drink. 

“Why did her doing her best make you so sad, Your Highness?”

“I was thinking about that.”

“So did you remember?”

Grayon stared at Locard.

“I had no life.”

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