At first, I became suspicious when I noticed that every time the maid took a bath, small particles settled on the bottom of the tub.
I soon noticed that she always carried a sachet of perfume with her, and as I passed by, I slipped it into her pocket.
It was funny to see the pickpockets using the skills they had taught me in a place like this... but I had to survive anyway.
“I looked into it and found out that the sachet contained sorem pollen. I wondered how it worked on the body.”
“...”
“You wouldn’t bribe a maid just to apply some pollen, right? And for such a long period..”
My throat hurt, so I squinted my eyes.
Laskan quickly brought the glass of water to my lips. He gritted his teeth and spat out the drink, either because he felt sorry for my pain or for some other reason.
“If it’s difficult to say, then say it later. For now, that’s enough...”
“Keep listening.”
I shook my head. Now was the right time to talk about this.
Now that I am sick but not dead, the enemies are discouraged, and our guard is sufficient, before they plant men in my room again.
No matter how much Laskan, His Majesty the Emperor, and Cesare watched with fire in their eyes... in the end, it was something done by people.
I never believed that the wall surrounding me would be perfect forever. I was a living witness to the experience of being breached once, and I was sick in bed a lot.
After drinking some water and feeling my throat feel better, I opened my mouth again.
“At first, I thought they weren’t trying to kill me, but to mess with the results of the competition.”
The current situation, where the maid fed me some Sorem pollen, is being treated as if I had fed her some kind of poison, which is somewhat ambiguous. Sorem pollen alone does not have any effect on the body.
Of course, there is a popular belief that if you consume it for a long time, your blood will become sticky and cloudy.
“I thought that the reason they chose the Sorem pollen was because it affected my blood. They didn’t even know that I was fake, and they were putting in effort.”
But somehow I felt uneasy, so I looked into it in more detail, and found that the efficacy of the pollen was accurately described in a book I had received from Tilatha in the past.
It is said that mixing Tillean leaves, black thistle juice, and sorem pollen makes kiship poison.
“So I deliberately had the maid bring me tea often.”
When I was with guests or really wanted a drink, I would ask Lisa, but when I was alone, reading a book or just woke up in the morning, I would point to Leah, the maid, and ask her for tea.
Of course, there were more days when I would secretly throw it away in a flower pot without drinking a single drop.
As I explained all this, Laskan's expression gradually changed from bewilderment to shock.
“Why on earth...”
His tone was more like a confession of the despair of my decision than a question of curiosity.
Laskan must have already guessed why I did that.
The more I trust and cherish that maid, the more I will be able to deceive the eyes of my enemies. Even when all the other maids are replaced, it will be natural for that traitor to remain in her place until the end.
This way, the enemies will be more at ease and will believe that I am consistently taking the correct dosage.
I shrugged and said it was no big deal.
“If I reveal that I know, those who poisoned me will be more cautious. Maybe they will even rush to use a stronger medicine.”
“...”
“Laskan, this was the best.”
It was true. Thanks to this strategy, I didn't even take half the amount the enemy thought they were feeding them. So the poison that was meant to kill me only made me suffer for twenty days.
While I was explaining, Laskan, who had been listening with his mouth tightly shut, roughly swept my face with his dry hand and asked.
“...Surely, you drank the champagne this time too, knowingly?”
“That’s not it. I expected it would turn into poison someday... but I didn’t know it would be at this banquet.”
I swear that what I said was true.
Of course, it's not like I didn't think about using the fact that I was taking Sorem pollen to my advantage.
If anything, I could make my own Kishif poison and make up a story about someone constantly feeding me poison.
Or maybe I could have used Leah's weakness to threaten her and get her help escaping from the palace.
I always thought that it was a means to an end, but I didn't know that my life, which they had put on the line, would last until this banquet.
“Trust me. Even if I knew it, I wouldn’t have the courage to drink poison.”
“...”
“Anyway, this is an opportunity for us.”
Laskan's face, which had been pale and pale, suddenly distorted into a fierce expression.
I was secretly surprised by the change, but I think he will understand after hearing what I have to say. How good this situation is for us.
I opened my mouth confidently.
“You already know, I sent you a messenger, right? About the possibility that His Majesty will be attacked around the last day of feeding blood to the judgment stone.”
“...”
“Fortunately, since I’ve fallen once, we’ve been able to naturally strengthen His Majesty’s perimeter security without anyone noticing that we’ve been noticed.”
“...”
“Do you understand what I am saying?”
“No, Your Highness.”
He growled softly, as if his throat was being strangled.
“How can I understand this?”
“...”
“You knew you were hurting yourself, but you just let it happen. You thought it was an opportunity, even though your life was at stake.”
The eyes that had sunk in an instant were like those of a wounded animal. He stood up from where he had been kneeling.
“I have never made such a contract with Your Highness.”
I understood his anger because if the situation were the opposite, I would have felt the same way.
I tried to understand that Laskan was angry at me, even without seeing my face. But understanding it with my head and enduring the situation where he was angry at me were two different things.
He continued speaking as if he were chewing and spitting out words.
“I want to capture and kill all those who dared to poison Your Highness, but I cannot forgive myself for not knowing that Your Highness was in this situation.”
“...”
“In the end, I was the one who pushed Your Highness into this mess.”
“Please, Laskan...”
I couldn't even look up at him and grabbed his hand. My hand was shaking slightly. I don't know if it was because of his anger or my fear.
A deathly silence flowed. Finally, he let out a faint sigh.
“You are shaking.”
“Finally, listen to me. It’s not like that, it’s not like that...”
He grabbed my hand tightly and snatched the teacup that was uneasily held in his other hand, as if the mere sight of the teacup reminded him of the scene where I had drunk poison myself.
It was an elegant but completely impractical action. He slowly bowed again.
“I will listen as long as Your Highness wishes.”
"...”
“For the rest of your life, if necessary. So please, don’t make that anxious expression.”
He pulled my finger and kissed it gently. Despite his gentle attitude, his tone was still firm.
As if the excuse I made was trying its best to convince him, or at least fool him.
I opened my mouth, stammering.
“Uh, at first, I thought I wasn’t a Princess... so I left it alone to use it later or to buy time. I also thought it might be an excuse. But lately, that hasn’t been the case.”
The body that had been trembling calmed down as I continued to speak.
“If I had been thinking of leaving all along, I wouldn’t have considered this an opportunity to protect His Majesty. I’m sorry to His Majesty, but it doesn’t really affect ‘Sasha’.”
This was my true heart. No matter how much I loved Laskan and cared for His Majesty, I cared too much for him to be used as a mere political tool.
If you stop taking Sorem pollen, all of its ingredients will be removed from your body within a month. Knowing that, I obediently ate it, even if it was only a small amount.
And even that was all when I believed I wasn't the Princess.
“But now it’s different.”
“...”
“Laskan. You said I might be the real Princess, right?”
The continued dream and Olga's cake, the old clothes and necklace, the appearance...
At first, I was more afraid of admitting this than of dying. I was afraid that I was coveting something precious without even knowing the subject. I was afraid that I was coveting something that belonged to the real Princess who had disappeared.
But now the time had come when hesitation was useless. Perhaps it was a time when greater courage was needed than all the courage I had ever exerted combined.
I held his hand tightly.
“I believe you now.”
I bit my lip and then added firmly.
“I really feel like a Princess.”
I explained to Laskan what had happened. About the scenes I had seen in my dream and about Olga's cake.
I remember the first dream relatively clearly, but the second dream was blurry, perhaps because I was on medication. It was like reading a note submerged in water.
Because of that, the story was often interrupted by memories. He must have been tired after not sleeping for several nights, but Laskan listened with a serious attitude.
After my story was over, Laskan spoke after a long time.
“Those dreams are true; they happened in the past.”
I bit my lip in surprise. What I had expected on my own and what was confirmed verbally were somewhat different.
Unlike me, who was overcome with a strange emotion, Laskan seemed rather relieved.
I soon noticed that she always carried a sachet of perfume with her, and as I passed by, I slipped it into her pocket.
It was funny to see the pickpockets using the skills they had taught me in a place like this... but I had to survive anyway.
“I looked into it and found out that the sachet contained sorem pollen. I wondered how it worked on the body.”
“...”
“You wouldn’t bribe a maid just to apply some pollen, right? And for such a long period..”
My throat hurt, so I squinted my eyes.
Laskan quickly brought the glass of water to my lips. He gritted his teeth and spat out the drink, either because he felt sorry for my pain or for some other reason.
“If it’s difficult to say, then say it later. For now, that’s enough...”
“Keep listening.”
I shook my head. Now was the right time to talk about this.
Now that I am sick but not dead, the enemies are discouraged, and our guard is sufficient, before they plant men in my room again.
No matter how much Laskan, His Majesty the Emperor, and Cesare watched with fire in their eyes... in the end, it was something done by people.
I never believed that the wall surrounding me would be perfect forever. I was a living witness to the experience of being breached once, and I was sick in bed a lot.
After drinking some water and feeling my throat feel better, I opened my mouth again.
“At first, I thought they weren’t trying to kill me, but to mess with the results of the competition.”
The current situation, where the maid fed me some Sorem pollen, is being treated as if I had fed her some kind of poison, which is somewhat ambiguous. Sorem pollen alone does not have any effect on the body.
Of course, there is a popular belief that if you consume it for a long time, your blood will become sticky and cloudy.
“I thought that the reason they chose the Sorem pollen was because it affected my blood. They didn’t even know that I was fake, and they were putting in effort.”
But somehow I felt uneasy, so I looked into it in more detail, and found that the efficacy of the pollen was accurately described in a book I had received from Tilatha in the past.
It is said that mixing Tillean leaves, black thistle juice, and sorem pollen makes kiship poison.
“So I deliberately had the maid bring me tea often.”
When I was with guests or really wanted a drink, I would ask Lisa, but when I was alone, reading a book or just woke up in the morning, I would point to Leah, the maid, and ask her for tea.
Of course, there were more days when I would secretly throw it away in a flower pot without drinking a single drop.
As I explained all this, Laskan's expression gradually changed from bewilderment to shock.
“Why on earth...”
His tone was more like a confession of the despair of my decision than a question of curiosity.
Laskan must have already guessed why I did that.
The more I trust and cherish that maid, the more I will be able to deceive the eyes of my enemies. Even when all the other maids are replaced, it will be natural for that traitor to remain in her place until the end.
This way, the enemies will be more at ease and will believe that I am consistently taking the correct dosage.
I shrugged and said it was no big deal.
“If I reveal that I know, those who poisoned me will be more cautious. Maybe they will even rush to use a stronger medicine.”
“...”
“Laskan, this was the best.”
It was true. Thanks to this strategy, I didn't even take half the amount the enemy thought they were feeding them. So the poison that was meant to kill me only made me suffer for twenty days.
While I was explaining, Laskan, who had been listening with his mouth tightly shut, roughly swept my face with his dry hand and asked.
“...Surely, you drank the champagne this time too, knowingly?”
“That’s not it. I expected it would turn into poison someday... but I didn’t know it would be at this banquet.”
I swear that what I said was true.
Of course, it's not like I didn't think about using the fact that I was taking Sorem pollen to my advantage.
If anything, I could make my own Kishif poison and make up a story about someone constantly feeding me poison.
Or maybe I could have used Leah's weakness to threaten her and get her help escaping from the palace.
I always thought that it was a means to an end, but I didn't know that my life, which they had put on the line, would last until this banquet.
“Trust me. Even if I knew it, I wouldn’t have the courage to drink poison.”
“...”
“Anyway, this is an opportunity for us.”
Laskan's face, which had been pale and pale, suddenly distorted into a fierce expression.
I was secretly surprised by the change, but I think he will understand after hearing what I have to say. How good this situation is for us.
I opened my mouth confidently.
“You already know, I sent you a messenger, right? About the possibility that His Majesty will be attacked around the last day of feeding blood to the judgment stone.”
“...”
“Fortunately, since I’ve fallen once, we’ve been able to naturally strengthen His Majesty’s perimeter security without anyone noticing that we’ve been noticed.”
“...”
“Do you understand what I am saying?”
“No, Your Highness.”
He growled softly, as if his throat was being strangled.
“How can I understand this?”
“...”
“You knew you were hurting yourself, but you just let it happen. You thought it was an opportunity, even though your life was at stake.”
The eyes that had sunk in an instant were like those of a wounded animal. He stood up from where he had been kneeling.
“I have never made such a contract with Your Highness.”
I understood his anger because if the situation were the opposite, I would have felt the same way.
I tried to understand that Laskan was angry at me, even without seeing my face. But understanding it with my head and enduring the situation where he was angry at me were two different things.
He continued speaking as if he were chewing and spitting out words.
“I want to capture and kill all those who dared to poison Your Highness, but I cannot forgive myself for not knowing that Your Highness was in this situation.”
“...”
“In the end, I was the one who pushed Your Highness into this mess.”
“Please, Laskan...”
I couldn't even look up at him and grabbed his hand. My hand was shaking slightly. I don't know if it was because of his anger or my fear.
A deathly silence flowed. Finally, he let out a faint sigh.
“You are shaking.”
“Finally, listen to me. It’s not like that, it’s not like that...”
He grabbed my hand tightly and snatched the teacup that was uneasily held in his other hand, as if the mere sight of the teacup reminded him of the scene where I had drunk poison myself.
It was an elegant but completely impractical action. He slowly bowed again.
“I will listen as long as Your Highness wishes.”
"...”
“For the rest of your life, if necessary. So please, don’t make that anxious expression.”
He pulled my finger and kissed it gently. Despite his gentle attitude, his tone was still firm.
As if the excuse I made was trying its best to convince him, or at least fool him.
I opened my mouth, stammering.
“Uh, at first, I thought I wasn’t a Princess... so I left it alone to use it later or to buy time. I also thought it might be an excuse. But lately, that hasn’t been the case.”
The body that had been trembling calmed down as I continued to speak.
“If I had been thinking of leaving all along, I wouldn’t have considered this an opportunity to protect His Majesty. I’m sorry to His Majesty, but it doesn’t really affect ‘Sasha’.”
This was my true heart. No matter how much I loved Laskan and cared for His Majesty, I cared too much for him to be used as a mere political tool.
If you stop taking Sorem pollen, all of its ingredients will be removed from your body within a month. Knowing that, I obediently ate it, even if it was only a small amount.
And even that was all when I believed I wasn't the Princess.
“But now it’s different.”
“...”
“Laskan. You said I might be the real Princess, right?”
The continued dream and Olga's cake, the old clothes and necklace, the appearance...
At first, I was more afraid of admitting this than of dying. I was afraid that I was coveting something precious without even knowing the subject. I was afraid that I was coveting something that belonged to the real Princess who had disappeared.
But now the time had come when hesitation was useless. Perhaps it was a time when greater courage was needed than all the courage I had ever exerted combined.
I held his hand tightly.
“I believe you now.”
I bit my lip and then added firmly.
“I really feel like a Princess.”
***
I explained to Laskan what had happened. About the scenes I had seen in my dream and about Olga's cake.
I remember the first dream relatively clearly, but the second dream was blurry, perhaps because I was on medication. It was like reading a note submerged in water.
Because of that, the story was often interrupted by memories. He must have been tired after not sleeping for several nights, but Laskan listened with a serious attitude.
After my story was over, Laskan spoke after a long time.
“Those dreams are true; they happened in the past.”
I bit my lip in surprise. What I had expected on my own and what was confirmed verbally were somewhat different.
Unlike me, who was overcome with a strange emotion, Laskan seemed rather relieved.
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