It was like that from the beginning.
Laskan sat at the head of the bed with a face paler than that of the Princess's lying down, and held the small hand that was visible from under the blanket.
It was so miserable that it was deformed and twisted. The years that had passed without the presence of the Princess in the palace were a dark age when the murderers who had slaughtered the Crown Princess were free to run wild, it was the swamp of Ashkhabat, and it was the Emperor's long and protracted period of mourning.
The assassins who were found to be involved in the missing persons case were caught and hanged, but even the street beggars knew that they were actually nothing more than henchmen.
The murderer was still alive and well in the imperial capital, in his sturdy mansion.
From Ashkabad's perspective, it was an extremely innocent and unjust incident, but in the eyes of the Emperor, any noble in the Empire would have looked like the same murderer. There was no evidence or witnesses.
Even if he was in his right mind, it was natural that the Emperor's suspicions would turn to families that would harbor resentment against the imperial family.
The extremely limited number of families who knew about the schedule of the Crown Princess and her husband, who moved in utmost secrecy, and the traditional custom of the Igrantia Empire's nobles to repay blood with an equal amount of blood... These were rather additional problems.
At that time, he suffered from fits of guilt all the time, and Duchess, who was already weak-hearted, was deeply troubled by the illness of his eldest son and was bedridden.
The previous Duke of Ashkabad blocked all external activities in the name of protecting his family. He desperately refused to even investigate important witnesses who were brought before the Duke, and he argued with the Emperor almost every day.
It was all just a swamp. He knew he was sinking slowly, but he couldn't even resist.
Suddenly, the palace doctor's voice spread through his head like poison.
“You were slowly exposed to the poison for a very long time.”
"Perhaps ever since she first entered the palace."
Didn't they know that something like this would happen when they tried to push the woman they had retrieved into the palace? They already had blood on their hands. He knew that this time would be no different.
So he made his defenses even more thorough. He attached Lisa, trusted maids, and even a servant and a porter, all of whom were trustworthy and handpicked by his own hands.
The days when he was secretly proud of our perfect defenses are not that far away.
But in the end, nothing was enough. In the end, the Princess collapsed.
From the moment he heard the news of the Princess's collapse until now, he has never thought about the reason behind this.
Duke of Kairak. There was only one.
"Duke."
The Emperor, who had entered the dark room, quietly called out to him. The servant standing guard at the door could not hear what he was saying, so it must have been the Emperor's intention to tell him not to make any noise.
Only then did Laskan slowly straighten his back, which had been curled up as if in prayer.
"Your Majesty."
“This is a terrible sight.”
It seemed like he was talking to him, or to the Princess who was lying down.
At first glance, it sounded like a fierce voice, but when you look at the Emperor's face, which was eerily withered, it also sounded like he was talking to all three of them.
“When did you come?”
“I arrived about three hours ago.”
Even though he was answering every question, he was still sitting there, holding the Princess's hand. He didn't even pay his respects to the Emperor, which was a proper courtesy.
But none of them had the presence of mind to point it out.
The Emperor looked down at Anastasia, who was sleeping miserably, as if he were momentarily speechless.
“The palace has been under strict lockdown since the Princess collapsed five days ago. The Princess’s knight commander, Lord Enoch Druen, has been handling matters quickly.”
“I think it was the right decision.”
“The heads of the thirteen families of the Privy Council were sent back to their respective families’ territories and were asked to self-reflect in their homes. According to national law, the only limit for the poisoning of a Princess who is not the Crown Princess was to detain the heads of the Privy Council in the palace for two days.”
That too was a rational procedure, but the Emperor's deeply subdued voice made it seem that even that was an extremely unsatisfactory action.
“The maids...”
“They have been detained separately in a private space. All the nobles, maids, servants, and janitors who have ever entered the Princess’s palace... they have all been arrested and are being interrogated.”
Even if it was the workers who worked at the Princess's palace, it was excessive to interrogate even the young nobles.
Even the Lady of Dover, who had been frequenting the Princess's Palace until recently, was the eldest daughter of the Dover family, which had never been pushed out of the thirteen families that had formed the Privy Council since the founding of the kingdom.
But Laskan nodded obediently as if the treatment inflicted on her was completely natural.
“But actually, there was no need for that.”
It was only for a moment that the Emperor's voice lowered a little.
“The one behind this is Kairak.”
It was a statement that instantly overturned a long-standing misunderstanding that had persisted for over a decade. Laskan gripped the hand that was not holding the Princess’s wrist tightly until the veins bulged.
The tone of confidence was strange. Unlike in the past, when he had always been extremely cautious while denouncing Ashkabad as a murderer.
Laskan tilted his head up. The Emperor's face was filled with doubt, like a solid wall that no one could explain.
“Have you secured the testimony?”
“At least they caught the bitch who fed Sorem pollen.”
“Who was it?”
“She was the woman in charge of the Princess’s bath.”
Laskan narrowed his eyes and looked back at the past. All the maids who came into direct contact with the Princess were personally selected by him and Cesare.
From their level of education, to their origins, to their personality, to whether or not they have family members who can be identified as weak points...
If it is certain that he caught that woman with his own hands, then all of this trouble is ultimately his fault.
Laskan pressed his hand against his tired eyes.
“I must see that woman.”
“There is no need for that.”
The Emperor spoke as if he had chewed and spat out words.
“She committed suicide because she couldn’t stand the interrogation. It seems she carried poison inside her molars that she would bite and explode.”
“If so, the person behind it is...”
“Before that woman died, I had to reveal the mastermind behind it. From the store where she bought the poison to the nobleman who was accused of instigating it... But it was all a lie.”
Laskan suddenly raised his head slightly, feeling a sense of foreboding.
Even the Emperor seemed to feel the same way. His thin lips twisted into a wry grin.
“Isn’t it exactly the same as fifteen years ago?”
“...”
“There is no evidence, no witnesses. Even the method by which the murderers committed suicide is exactly the same as it was fifteen years ago. This is a clear mockery of me.”
“...”
“Duke Kairak, no one else could dare do this.”
Laskan realized that the Emperor's gaze was no different from the one he had used fifteen years ago when he had doubted himself and his father.
The Emperor's favor and suspicion were as light as wildfire. It could stick here and there in an instant, and then move on to the other side.
Perhaps the one who knew this better than anyone was Duke Kairak, who had been at the top of power for decades. That was why he was not satisfied with his current glory and coveted the Emperor's crown.
While he pondered this intricately, the Emperor ground his teeth.
“How dare you... You lowly things that don’t even know your place...”
“...”
“He even tried to take away the last remaining Princess from me...”
The Emperor placed his trembling hand on his forehead. His shoulders, which had become thinner, slowly collapsed as if he were crouching, unable to bear the trembling.
Laskan looked at the Emperor with half skepticism, half pity. He was miserable inside, but at this point, anger was meaningless.
Kairak was not the Ashkabad of fifteen years ago. He had used the power the Emperor had given him on a whim to poison his ears with distrust, and had slowly and thoroughly encroached upon the palace from the bottom up with only his own people.
Now, even if he is called the Emperor, he cannot be easily overthrown; he is firmly entangled with endless, messy roots.
The tightly interlocked teeth twisted violently. It was horrible. All these moments of her moaning. It was hard to forgive himself for not knowing anything while she steadily accumulated poison in her body.
He made her like this. He pushed her to the brink of death and failed to protect her properly. He didn't even know that the palace he pushed her into, which he thought was the most precious place, was drying up her breath and making her die.
He desperately grabbed the Princess's faintly throbbing wrists with both hands.
Now, she just want to wake up safely. He don't care if everything she and he planned goes down the drain, he just want her to open her eyes again. He just wants her to stay alive, even if she become someone who has nothing to do with him forever.
It was so scary to let go of his hand. The faint pulse seemed like it would stop beating any moment he let go.
This is a dream.
I sighed deeply and twitched my shrunken hands and limbs. At first, I didn't know what was going on, but if you don't notice it right away after experiencing it twice, you're an idiot.
When I first had the dream, it felt strange, like I had suddenly fallen into a play... But after repeating this, I felt like I had gotten used to it.
“Your Highness. What are you doing?”
At Youn Lady's innocent question, I looked down at my hands. That's right, what was I doing...?
Just a moment ago, I seemed to have been in the palace, wearing clean clothes, but now I was covered in dirt in the palace garden, digging the ground with a shovel.
Young Lady, who was approaching, instinctively frowned.
“Your Highness... likes flowers...”
To say that I liked flowers was a milder expression. I had dug a hole, but it seemed more like a hole to hide something than to plant flowers.
The young girl wandered around at an awkward distance, neither approaching nor moving away for fear of getting dirty.
The moment she raised her head because it was annoying, Laskan came closer and skillfully pushed the young lady towards the other girls.
“I will serve Her Highness the Princess.”
Because his attitude was so gentle, Young Lady didn't even realize that she was being pushed around.
For a moment, her face looked as if she was possessed, and then her cheeks blushed.
Laskan sat at the head of the bed with a face paler than that of the Princess's lying down, and held the small hand that was visible from under the blanket.
It was so miserable that it was deformed and twisted. The years that had passed without the presence of the Princess in the palace were a dark age when the murderers who had slaughtered the Crown Princess were free to run wild, it was the swamp of Ashkhabat, and it was the Emperor's long and protracted period of mourning.
The assassins who were found to be involved in the missing persons case were caught and hanged, but even the street beggars knew that they were actually nothing more than henchmen.
The murderer was still alive and well in the imperial capital, in his sturdy mansion.
From Ashkabad's perspective, it was an extremely innocent and unjust incident, but in the eyes of the Emperor, any noble in the Empire would have looked like the same murderer. There was no evidence or witnesses.
Even if he was in his right mind, it was natural that the Emperor's suspicions would turn to families that would harbor resentment against the imperial family.
The extremely limited number of families who knew about the schedule of the Crown Princess and her husband, who moved in utmost secrecy, and the traditional custom of the Igrantia Empire's nobles to repay blood with an equal amount of blood... These were rather additional problems.
At that time, he suffered from fits of guilt all the time, and Duchess, who was already weak-hearted, was deeply troubled by the illness of his eldest son and was bedridden.
The previous Duke of Ashkabad blocked all external activities in the name of protecting his family. He desperately refused to even investigate important witnesses who were brought before the Duke, and he argued with the Emperor almost every day.
It was all just a swamp. He knew he was sinking slowly, but he couldn't even resist.
Suddenly, the palace doctor's voice spread through his head like poison.
“You were slowly exposed to the poison for a very long time.”
"Perhaps ever since she first entered the palace."
Didn't they know that something like this would happen when they tried to push the woman they had retrieved into the palace? They already had blood on their hands. He knew that this time would be no different.
So he made his defenses even more thorough. He attached Lisa, trusted maids, and even a servant and a porter, all of whom were trustworthy and handpicked by his own hands.
The days when he was secretly proud of our perfect defenses are not that far away.
But in the end, nothing was enough. In the end, the Princess collapsed.
From the moment he heard the news of the Princess's collapse until now, he has never thought about the reason behind this.
Duke of Kairak. There was only one.
"Duke."
The Emperor, who had entered the dark room, quietly called out to him. The servant standing guard at the door could not hear what he was saying, so it must have been the Emperor's intention to tell him not to make any noise.
Only then did Laskan slowly straighten his back, which had been curled up as if in prayer.
"Your Majesty."
“This is a terrible sight.”
It seemed like he was talking to him, or to the Princess who was lying down.
At first glance, it sounded like a fierce voice, but when you look at the Emperor's face, which was eerily withered, it also sounded like he was talking to all three of them.
“When did you come?”
“I arrived about three hours ago.”
Even though he was answering every question, he was still sitting there, holding the Princess's hand. He didn't even pay his respects to the Emperor, which was a proper courtesy.
But none of them had the presence of mind to point it out.
The Emperor looked down at Anastasia, who was sleeping miserably, as if he were momentarily speechless.
“The palace has been under strict lockdown since the Princess collapsed five days ago. The Princess’s knight commander, Lord Enoch Druen, has been handling matters quickly.”
“I think it was the right decision.”
“The heads of the thirteen families of the Privy Council were sent back to their respective families’ territories and were asked to self-reflect in their homes. According to national law, the only limit for the poisoning of a Princess who is not the Crown Princess was to detain the heads of the Privy Council in the palace for two days.”
That too was a rational procedure, but the Emperor's deeply subdued voice made it seem that even that was an extremely unsatisfactory action.
“The maids...”
“They have been detained separately in a private space. All the nobles, maids, servants, and janitors who have ever entered the Princess’s palace... they have all been arrested and are being interrogated.”
Even if it was the workers who worked at the Princess's palace, it was excessive to interrogate even the young nobles.
Even the Lady of Dover, who had been frequenting the Princess's Palace until recently, was the eldest daughter of the Dover family, which had never been pushed out of the thirteen families that had formed the Privy Council since the founding of the kingdom.
But Laskan nodded obediently as if the treatment inflicted on her was completely natural.
“But actually, there was no need for that.”
It was only for a moment that the Emperor's voice lowered a little.
“The one behind this is Kairak.”
It was a statement that instantly overturned a long-standing misunderstanding that had persisted for over a decade. Laskan gripped the hand that was not holding the Princess’s wrist tightly until the veins bulged.
The tone of confidence was strange. Unlike in the past, when he had always been extremely cautious while denouncing Ashkabad as a murderer.
Laskan tilted his head up. The Emperor's face was filled with doubt, like a solid wall that no one could explain.
“Have you secured the testimony?”
“At least they caught the bitch who fed Sorem pollen.”
“Who was it?”
“She was the woman in charge of the Princess’s bath.”
Laskan narrowed his eyes and looked back at the past. All the maids who came into direct contact with the Princess were personally selected by him and Cesare.
From their level of education, to their origins, to their personality, to whether or not they have family members who can be identified as weak points...
If it is certain that he caught that woman with his own hands, then all of this trouble is ultimately his fault.
Laskan pressed his hand against his tired eyes.
“I must see that woman.”
“There is no need for that.”
The Emperor spoke as if he had chewed and spat out words.
“She committed suicide because she couldn’t stand the interrogation. It seems she carried poison inside her molars that she would bite and explode.”
“If so, the person behind it is...”
“Before that woman died, I had to reveal the mastermind behind it. From the store where she bought the poison to the nobleman who was accused of instigating it... But it was all a lie.”
Laskan suddenly raised his head slightly, feeling a sense of foreboding.
Even the Emperor seemed to feel the same way. His thin lips twisted into a wry grin.
“Isn’t it exactly the same as fifteen years ago?”
“...”
“There is no evidence, no witnesses. Even the method by which the murderers committed suicide is exactly the same as it was fifteen years ago. This is a clear mockery of me.”
“...”
“Duke Kairak, no one else could dare do this.”
Laskan realized that the Emperor's gaze was no different from the one he had used fifteen years ago when he had doubted himself and his father.
The Emperor's favor and suspicion were as light as wildfire. It could stick here and there in an instant, and then move on to the other side.
Perhaps the one who knew this better than anyone was Duke Kairak, who had been at the top of power for decades. That was why he was not satisfied with his current glory and coveted the Emperor's crown.
While he pondered this intricately, the Emperor ground his teeth.
“How dare you... You lowly things that don’t even know your place...”
“...”
“He even tried to take away the last remaining Princess from me...”
The Emperor placed his trembling hand on his forehead. His shoulders, which had become thinner, slowly collapsed as if he were crouching, unable to bear the trembling.
Laskan looked at the Emperor with half skepticism, half pity. He was miserable inside, but at this point, anger was meaningless.
Kairak was not the Ashkabad of fifteen years ago. He had used the power the Emperor had given him on a whim to poison his ears with distrust, and had slowly and thoroughly encroached upon the palace from the bottom up with only his own people.
Now, even if he is called the Emperor, he cannot be easily overthrown; he is firmly entangled with endless, messy roots.
The tightly interlocked teeth twisted violently. It was horrible. All these moments of her moaning. It was hard to forgive himself for not knowing anything while she steadily accumulated poison in her body.
He made her like this. He pushed her to the brink of death and failed to protect her properly. He didn't even know that the palace he pushed her into, which he thought was the most precious place, was drying up her breath and making her die.
He desperately grabbed the Princess's faintly throbbing wrists with both hands.
Now, she just want to wake up safely. He don't care if everything she and he planned goes down the drain, he just want her to open her eyes again. He just wants her to stay alive, even if she become someone who has nothing to do with him forever.
It was so scary to let go of his hand. The faint pulse seemed like it would stop beating any moment he let go.
***
This is a dream.
I sighed deeply and twitched my shrunken hands and limbs. At first, I didn't know what was going on, but if you don't notice it right away after experiencing it twice, you're an idiot.
When I first had the dream, it felt strange, like I had suddenly fallen into a play... But after repeating this, I felt like I had gotten used to it.
“Your Highness. What are you doing?”
At Youn Lady's innocent question, I looked down at my hands. That's right, what was I doing...?
Just a moment ago, I seemed to have been in the palace, wearing clean clothes, but now I was covered in dirt in the palace garden, digging the ground with a shovel.
Young Lady, who was approaching, instinctively frowned.
“Your Highness... likes flowers...”
To say that I liked flowers was a milder expression. I had dug a hole, but it seemed more like a hole to hide something than to plant flowers.
The young girl wandered around at an awkward distance, neither approaching nor moving away for fear of getting dirty.
The moment she raised her head because it was annoying, Laskan came closer and skillfully pushed the young lady towards the other girls.
“I will serve Her Highness the Princess.”
Because his attitude was so gentle, Young Lady didn't even realize that she was being pushed around.
For a moment, her face looked as if she was possessed, and then her cheeks blushed.
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