Laskan seemed to be trying to put me to sleep, but I couldn't sleep at all. The aftereffects of waking up from a faint gave me a strange vitality.
It felt a bit strange to have no strength in my body, but my mind was clear.
“Anyway, I regret ruining the dinner. It was one of the few opportunities I had to meet the Emperor alone. I’m sorry. I hope it didn’t interfere with your plans.”
Laskan took his hand back from my sight. His face looked as if he had been shocked by something. He also seemed a little angry.
I pulled the blanket up to my chin. I had never seen him angry before, but I couldn't tell what it was like.
The men I knew would often break things and yell when they got angry. They would beat up the weak and subdue them with force to protect their petty pride.
But Laskan only let out a quiet breath. I was anxious because I couldn't figure out why he was angry.
Did I mess things up too much? It was delayed by about ten days, but there were still several opportunities for the dinner the Emperor had promised...
“There is nothing in this world more important than your safety. No matter how good an opportunity may be, if it threatens your safety, it cannot be considered an opportunity.”
I opened my eyes wide in surprise at his sudden words. I thought he was going to at least criticize me or say something critical about my constitution.
But he simply gently grabbed my limp wrist. Laskan continued speaking in a firm tone that contrasted his cautious demeanor.
“Your Highness, the purpose of everything I do is for Your Highness, and I am only a means to that end. You must know this. My only wish is for Your Highness to be restored to your rightful place.”
“...”
“Through you, we can clear the old stigma of our family.”
“..."
“Finally, all I have to do is have Your Highness accept my proposal.”
I momentarily forgot what I was going to say and looked at him. But for someone who liked me, his attitude was still too plain.
He didn't try to bind me, he didn't show off his power or wealth, and he didn't reveal his sexual desires.
That was what I always found strange. It wasn't the face of a man longing for love, the kind I'd seen and experienced in back alleys.
I asked pointedly.
“Anyway, Laskan, you proposed to me for political reasons.”
“You keep making mistakes.”
He said with a soft smile.
“In this relationship, it is not you, Your Highness, but me who can be abandoned.”
I didn't even think about pulling away from the hand I was holding, I just opened my eyes.
That was the truth I could never bring myself to say. I was afraid that he would use me politically and then abandon me. I was afraid that my last bit of pride, my heart, would be toyed with.
How did he see through that?
“I am a greedy person by nature, so I have never failed to have what I wanted. However, Your Highness is the Princess, and your heart cannot be valued by any amount.”
But I might not be the real Princess.
“So I will just respect Your Highness’s choice and wait.”
I studied his face intently, trying to detect any hint of falsehood or deception in his words.
He seemed more genuine than ever, if only I set aside the thought that I might not be a Princess.
The moment I realized that, I ended up pulling the blanket up to my head. I could barely expose the top of my head and groped for it.
“Since when have you been so, so, deeply...”
My voice was crawling, and my words were stammering without mercy. I wanted to ask him when his heart had become so deep, but even I couldn't understand what he was saying.
But the clever Laskan seemed to understand everything.
“I confess that from the moment I first saw Your Highness, I had a hard time regaining my composure because of my indifference. But the first moment was at the mansion,”
“...”
“I think it was the first time Your Highness hugged me.”
That was an act closer to treatment than hugging.
As I pulled the blanket down a little more, I saw Laskan smiling with his rare round eyes. In an instant, both of my cheeks flushed as if I had drunk some strong alcohol.
“Your Highness, I know that everything is unfamiliar and difficult for you right now. So I am not asking you to answer my feelings right now.”
“...”
“I hope that Your Highness will love me and choose me as much as I desire You.”
Laskan gently returned what I had said to him in a whiny tone. He said that it was my feelings that were lukewarm.
That was right. I liked him, but drawing a future together was a completely different matter.
“You can think about it for a long time and then choose.”
It was a display of arrogant confidence. No matter how many men I had dated, I would have no choice but to choose him.
Who could dare to surpass Laskan? He has been voted the most popular husband in surveys of the Empire's citizens for several years now, despite his politically unstable position.
If we hadn't met in a situation where we were deceiving each other, but had just met as Sasha, I would have already rushed to him. I mumbled under the covers.
“...I’ll think about it.”
Laskan smiled softly, as if that alone was enough.
It had been twenty days since I had entered the palace. Many things had happened, but the biggest change was that I now had a maid.
I chose two as maids, following Laskan and Isabella's advice.
From the beginning, the most likely candidates were the second daughter of the Margrave of Tulear and Grand Duchess Thalia.
After sending a reply thanking them for applying to be my maid and asking them to guide me well since I was not yet familiar with palace etiquette, they sent me a gift according to palace etiquette.
After exchanging some letters, they arrived a week later.
"Your Highness."
I looked at the two women who stood up gracefully, bending their knees. The chief attendant standing next to them introduced them one by one.
“This is Your Highness’s cousin, Grand Duchess Thalia Ordrode of Valencia.”
She was a tall, well-dressed woman. Contrary to what I had imagined when we exchanged letters, her impression was somewhat cold and stiff.
When I heard she was my cousin, I thought she would look like me... She was such an elegant and dignified beauty that it made me feel embarrassed to even think that way. I reached out to her.
“Your Highness, I greet you.”
She bent and straightened her knees once more, placing her fingertips gently on my hand.
As she stepped back, the chamberlain pointed with his palm at the woman standing on his right this time and said:
“This is Lady Irina de Tulear.”
“Your Highness, I greet you.”
This one had a slightly more lovely and rounded appearance.
Although she had the natural elegance of a daughter of a noble family, the way she blushed as if meeting me was a great honor was lovely.
I took my hand away from Young Lady Tulear and added gently, “First impressions are important".
“Please take good care of me, everyone. I am still lacking in many aspects of palace etiquette. The young ladies will have to help me out.”
“Of course, Your Highness.”
Both of them answered kindly. After the chamberlain left, we stood there somewhat awkwardly as if we had run out of things to talk about when we had a new friend.
It wasn't a bad analogy. The maids working in the palace were more like friends of the noblewoman than workers.
I asked the maids to bring me some refreshments and sat down on the large couch in the reception room.
“Grand Duchess of Valencia, Lady Tulear. Thank you for coming.”
"You're welcome."
Thalia answered with a soft smile. The tension seemed to ease as we left the chamberlain alone.
When she had a hardened expression, she looked cool and proud. Irina also added with a lively smile.
“Please call me Irina, Your Highness.”
“Me too. I feel more comfortable when you call me Thalia.”
“Is that okay?”
“Of course, Your Highness.”
Irina answered with a cheerful smile. I smiled happily and looked at the two of them.
Irina's family, the Margraves of Tulear, was a prominent military family that had produced army colonels for generations and was one of the five most powerful families among the seventeen noble families in the capital.
They had a long-standing political alliance with Ashkabad, and perhaps because of that, she readily volunteered to be my maid.
Thalia, too, was the heir to the duchy, and was of a high status to be a maid, but it is said that she made the decision to go to the empire with a strong will. She was the first to send a letter saying that she wanted to be my maid.
Before becoming the ruler of a principality and being tied down for life, she wanted to experience an empire.
It was a good thing for me. It was a great learning experience to have someone close to me who was born and raised as the successor to such a great nation.
When we exchanged letters, we were similar in age and had a great sense of intimacy, but now that I've actually seen her face, I don't know what to say. I wish I had friends like these delicate noblewomen.
I spoke out the lines I had prepared over and over again, somewhat awkwardly.
“Come to think of it, I’m going to be really busy preparing for Entremette next week. Have you picked out your dresses in advance? Have you decided who you’re going to walk with?”
These days, whenever people gathered at the palace, everyone talked about this topic.
This year's Entremette is said to be on an unprecedented scale to announce my return.
The banquet lasts for three days, with a ritual on the first day, a mask dance on the second day, and a ball that starts at night on the third day and ends at noon on the fourth day.
Since they had to start preparing my entremets immediately starting next week, I usually had to start moving a little earlier.
Irina answered my question with blushing cheeks.
It felt a bit strange to have no strength in my body, but my mind was clear.
“Anyway, I regret ruining the dinner. It was one of the few opportunities I had to meet the Emperor alone. I’m sorry. I hope it didn’t interfere with your plans.”
Laskan took his hand back from my sight. His face looked as if he had been shocked by something. He also seemed a little angry.
I pulled the blanket up to my chin. I had never seen him angry before, but I couldn't tell what it was like.
The men I knew would often break things and yell when they got angry. They would beat up the weak and subdue them with force to protect their petty pride.
But Laskan only let out a quiet breath. I was anxious because I couldn't figure out why he was angry.
Did I mess things up too much? It was delayed by about ten days, but there were still several opportunities for the dinner the Emperor had promised...
“There is nothing in this world more important than your safety. No matter how good an opportunity may be, if it threatens your safety, it cannot be considered an opportunity.”
I opened my eyes wide in surprise at his sudden words. I thought he was going to at least criticize me or say something critical about my constitution.
But he simply gently grabbed my limp wrist. Laskan continued speaking in a firm tone that contrasted his cautious demeanor.
“Your Highness, the purpose of everything I do is for Your Highness, and I am only a means to that end. You must know this. My only wish is for Your Highness to be restored to your rightful place.”
“...”
“Through you, we can clear the old stigma of our family.”
“..."
“Finally, all I have to do is have Your Highness accept my proposal.”
I momentarily forgot what I was going to say and looked at him. But for someone who liked me, his attitude was still too plain.
He didn't try to bind me, he didn't show off his power or wealth, and he didn't reveal his sexual desires.
That was what I always found strange. It wasn't the face of a man longing for love, the kind I'd seen and experienced in back alleys.
I asked pointedly.
“Anyway, Laskan, you proposed to me for political reasons.”
“You keep making mistakes.”
He said with a soft smile.
“In this relationship, it is not you, Your Highness, but me who can be abandoned.”
I didn't even think about pulling away from the hand I was holding, I just opened my eyes.
That was the truth I could never bring myself to say. I was afraid that he would use me politically and then abandon me. I was afraid that my last bit of pride, my heart, would be toyed with.
How did he see through that?
“I am a greedy person by nature, so I have never failed to have what I wanted. However, Your Highness is the Princess, and your heart cannot be valued by any amount.”
But I might not be the real Princess.
“So I will just respect Your Highness’s choice and wait.”
I studied his face intently, trying to detect any hint of falsehood or deception in his words.
He seemed more genuine than ever, if only I set aside the thought that I might not be a Princess.
The moment I realized that, I ended up pulling the blanket up to my head. I could barely expose the top of my head and groped for it.
“Since when have you been so, so, deeply...”
My voice was crawling, and my words were stammering without mercy. I wanted to ask him when his heart had become so deep, but even I couldn't understand what he was saying.
But the clever Laskan seemed to understand everything.
“I confess that from the moment I first saw Your Highness, I had a hard time regaining my composure because of my indifference. But the first moment was at the mansion,”
“...”
“I think it was the first time Your Highness hugged me.”
That was an act closer to treatment than hugging.
As I pulled the blanket down a little more, I saw Laskan smiling with his rare round eyes. In an instant, both of my cheeks flushed as if I had drunk some strong alcohol.
“Your Highness, I know that everything is unfamiliar and difficult for you right now. So I am not asking you to answer my feelings right now.”
“...”
“I hope that Your Highness will love me and choose me as much as I desire You.”
Laskan gently returned what I had said to him in a whiny tone. He said that it was my feelings that were lukewarm.
That was right. I liked him, but drawing a future together was a completely different matter.
“You can think about it for a long time and then choose.”
It was a display of arrogant confidence. No matter how many men I had dated, I would have no choice but to choose him.
Who could dare to surpass Laskan? He has been voted the most popular husband in surveys of the Empire's citizens for several years now, despite his politically unstable position.
If we hadn't met in a situation where we were deceiving each other, but had just met as Sasha, I would have already rushed to him. I mumbled under the covers.
“...I’ll think about it.”
Laskan smiled softly, as if that alone was enough.
***
It had been twenty days since I had entered the palace. Many things had happened, but the biggest change was that I now had a maid.
I chose two as maids, following Laskan and Isabella's advice.
From the beginning, the most likely candidates were the second daughter of the Margrave of Tulear and Grand Duchess Thalia.
After sending a reply thanking them for applying to be my maid and asking them to guide me well since I was not yet familiar with palace etiquette, they sent me a gift according to palace etiquette.
After exchanging some letters, they arrived a week later.
"Your Highness."
I looked at the two women who stood up gracefully, bending their knees. The chief attendant standing next to them introduced them one by one.
“This is Your Highness’s cousin, Grand Duchess Thalia Ordrode of Valencia.”
She was a tall, well-dressed woman. Contrary to what I had imagined when we exchanged letters, her impression was somewhat cold and stiff.
When I heard she was my cousin, I thought she would look like me... She was such an elegant and dignified beauty that it made me feel embarrassed to even think that way. I reached out to her.
“Your Highness, I greet you.”
She bent and straightened her knees once more, placing her fingertips gently on my hand.
As she stepped back, the chamberlain pointed with his palm at the woman standing on his right this time and said:
“This is Lady Irina de Tulear.”
“Your Highness, I greet you.”
This one had a slightly more lovely and rounded appearance.
Although she had the natural elegance of a daughter of a noble family, the way she blushed as if meeting me was a great honor was lovely.
I took my hand away from Young Lady Tulear and added gently, “First impressions are important".
“Please take good care of me, everyone. I am still lacking in many aspects of palace etiquette. The young ladies will have to help me out.”
“Of course, Your Highness.”
Both of them answered kindly. After the chamberlain left, we stood there somewhat awkwardly as if we had run out of things to talk about when we had a new friend.
It wasn't a bad analogy. The maids working in the palace were more like friends of the noblewoman than workers.
I asked the maids to bring me some refreshments and sat down on the large couch in the reception room.
“Grand Duchess of Valencia, Lady Tulear. Thank you for coming.”
"You're welcome."
Thalia answered with a soft smile. The tension seemed to ease as we left the chamberlain alone.
When she had a hardened expression, she looked cool and proud. Irina also added with a lively smile.
“Please call me Irina, Your Highness.”
“Me too. I feel more comfortable when you call me Thalia.”
“Is that okay?”
“Of course, Your Highness.”
Irina answered with a cheerful smile. I smiled happily and looked at the two of them.
Irina's family, the Margraves of Tulear, was a prominent military family that had produced army colonels for generations and was one of the five most powerful families among the seventeen noble families in the capital.
They had a long-standing political alliance with Ashkabad, and perhaps because of that, she readily volunteered to be my maid.
Thalia, too, was the heir to the duchy, and was of a high status to be a maid, but it is said that she made the decision to go to the empire with a strong will. She was the first to send a letter saying that she wanted to be my maid.
Before becoming the ruler of a principality and being tied down for life, she wanted to experience an empire.
It was a good thing for me. It was a great learning experience to have someone close to me who was born and raised as the successor to such a great nation.
When we exchanged letters, we were similar in age and had a great sense of intimacy, but now that I've actually seen her face, I don't know what to say. I wish I had friends like these delicate noblewomen.
I spoke out the lines I had prepared over and over again, somewhat awkwardly.
“Come to think of it, I’m going to be really busy preparing for Entremette next week. Have you picked out your dresses in advance? Have you decided who you’re going to walk with?”
These days, whenever people gathered at the palace, everyone talked about this topic.
This year's Entremette is said to be on an unprecedented scale to announce my return.
The banquet lasts for three days, with a ritual on the first day, a mask dance on the second day, and a ball that starts at night on the third day and ends at noon on the fourth day.
Since they had to start preparing my entremets immediately starting next week, I usually had to start moving a little earlier.
Irina answered my question with blushing cheeks.
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