Why on earth would you make such a declaration?
Cecilia, who had been assigned to the palace as the new Empress, thought as she paced around her bedroom. Of course, Eden was not originally a man who would completely reveal his true feelings. However, recently, there was really no way to gauge his true feelings.
“...”
Of course, it's because he knows he's not the culprit. It's because he doesn't know that there's someone right next to him who knows what will happen in the future.
“Hello, Your Majesty the Empress.”
“Is His Majesty the Emperor inside?”
The attendant shook his head with an embarrassed expression at Cecilia's question.
“I haven’t heard it yet.”
“Did you say he weren’t going to come?”
“That’s not it. If you wait, it will come soon...”
Cecilia, standing in front of the restaurant, slowly rolled her eyes as if thinking about something. Then, she soon turned around with a determined face.
“Ah, Your Majesty the Empress!”
The face of the servant who had failed to follow the Emperor's first order to keep the Empress in the dining room turned pale. However, he did not have the power to disobey the Empress.
“His Majesty?”
Cecilia strode briskly toward the Emperor's palace. Of course, no matter how complicated the palace was, she never got lost. She could find her way even with her eyes closed.
“He is inside.”
The attendant nodded and answered.
“Tell him I want to see him right away.”
“Your Majesty, that is...”
The chamberlain hesitated. Cecilia did not just sit there and watch but grabbed the doorknob without warning. When she swung the door open, there was no one inside.
“You lied to me?”
Cecilia turned to the chamberlain with a blank expression and asked. The chamberlain jumped up and denied it. He continued with the excuse that he had never been out since he came in.
“...?”
It was then. A subtle sound was heard from somewhere. Cecilia went into the bedroom. She closed the door behind the chamberlain, who was still making excuses. If this was what she expected, it was something she couldn't let anyone find out about.
"Your Majesty?"
Cecilia quietly looked for Eden. After calling him that a couple of times, the nauseating sound coming from somewhere suddenly stopped.
"Your Majesty."
At that moment, Cecilia was sure. Without hesitation, she opened the door to the bathroom connected to the bedroom.
“Cecilia. Why are you here all of a sudden...”
The man who was hurriedly rinsing his mouth looked at Cecilia with a tired expression. He seemed a bit surprised.
“Because you didn’t come to eat.”
“I was going to go.”
He must have just vomited out stomach acid without eating anything. Did he come and pretend to eat without any problems when his stomach, throat, and mouth were not clean?
“In that physical condition?”
As she thought about that, a sudden surge of anger welled up in her.
“I don’t care.”
She didn't want him to be left alive so he could be used recklessly. She didn't want him to open his eyes safely so he could pretend like nothing happened while his body and mind were falling apart.
"Lie."
Cecilia met Eden's gaze and exposed his lies without holding back.
“Cecilia.”
A look of embarrassment appeared on Eden's face. He had not expected that someone would point out his lies so openly.
“Why are you lying?”
Eden closed his mouth in response to Cecilia's question. His face, with his mouth shut like a clamshell, seemed somewhat stubborn.
“You must be in pain.”
“...”
“Because of that, you can’t even swallow food, and you vomit even if you just drink water.”
Eden half-lowered his eyes as the words continued like a machine gun. He did so because he couldn't deny it.
“Why don’t you tell me? Why don’t you just be honest and say you’re not feeling well...!”
Finally, Cecilia asked the question she had been most anxious to ask. Eden raised his eyelids again and met her gaze, which he had been avoiding.
“Speak.”
He opened his mouth with difficulty, but his voice was a little hoarse. It seemed as if he didn't know what to say.
“What are you talking about?”
Eden muttered to himself.
"Jow?"
The tone of voice was filled with bitterness. It was also loneliness.
“I’m trying my best not to burden you, so why do you come and stir things up?”
Eden asked, one corner of his mouth raised hypocritically.
“You me.”
“...”
“You are a burden to my heart.”
Eden's eyes turned red. In a short time, several unfathomable pains had come into his life. There was no way he wouldn't want to lean on the body temperature of the person he loved the most.
But, but.
'Because I don't love you.'
He couldn't help it, thinking of Cecilia, who had trampled his heart with her twisted laughter.
'If you can't stand it, you should break up.'
She was a woman who could have decided to break up with him at any time. She barely managed to hold on to him. She took pity on him and kept him by her side because his brother was in danger of killing him.
"You."
“...”
“You are suffering because of my love.”
Eden's brain snapped. At the same time, Cecilia's heart sank. It was true that she was in pain. However, it was not because of Eden's love. It was just that her own heart, which she could not break even in this life, was burdensome.
“I hope you are not suffering. If it is because of my love, I would rather die and disappear.”
That was the reason he calmly accepted the crisis that could have been avoided that day. That was the reason he didn't wake up from the crisis of death for several days.
“But how do I say it? I’m lonely, I’m sad, I need someone to lean on.”
Because you love me.
Knowing that it was a sadness bordering on despair, Cecilia was left speechless.
“How can I, when you have a hard time even enduring me?”
"Your Majesty."
Cecilia called out to Eden quietly. Eden didn't answer. He simply pushed her flowing hair back with his large hands and took a deep breath, trying to suppress his emotions.
“Eden.”
Because I don't want to see you crumble and fall apart again.
“Look at me.”
But he couldn't help but sway from the weak temptation that whispered to him to look at her. Cecilia Lane Wyatt was the one who made him the weakest. Eden finally couldn't resist the impulse and lowered his gaze.
“...”
At the same time, tears fell from his eyes. Just like the day he found out that Cecilia had been secretly obtaining and taking contraceptive pills. But even more sadly.
Cecilia stared blankly at the tears that fell from his eyes and soaked his cheeks. Having been caught once, he had no shame, and the man as tall as a mountain was leaving behind the most fragile traces in the world.
"Sorry."
Cecilia whispered quietly, reaching out with both hands. She cupped his face in her small hands and pulled him down to her.
“I was wrong.”
And she whispered honestly. It was the truth that she realized the moment she saw him shed tears like a child.
“I’m scared of getting caught...”
She felt a pain piercing through her heart at Eden's tears. She couldn't forget her experiences from her previous life. What she had for Eden in his second life was clearly love and hate.
But if she divides the ratio, the affection was clearly greater than the hate. In the end, it came to the point where she couldn't stand to see him die. It was such a fragile resolution. To the point where she couldn't make a decision even after everything was laid out and even if someone helped her.
“That’s why I acted hypocritically.”
Eden was still crying like a little boy, and so the tears that fell from his eyes split the air and fell down Cecilia's cheeks.
“You don’t have to comfort me.”
Eden smiled faintly.
“I know it’s because you feel sorry for me.”
He lost his mother soon after he was born. He was rejected by his wife, to whom he had confessed his love to, clung to, and pleaded with. Then he lost his older brother, younger brother, and even his father.
“It’s okay now.”
So he knew that a good woman like Cecilia would feel sympathy for him. And that this was his opportunity.
“I can accept it if you leave now.”
But I didn't want to do that. Eden whispered, grabbing Cecilia's hand and pulling her down. Sure, there were times when he acted cowardly, but he didn't want to be ashamed of this feeling forever.
“It’s scary. Being left alone.”
Eden nodded at Cecilia's words. As if to prove his answer, he still held onto Cecilia's hand that had been pulled down.
“But I’m more afraid of seeing your back forever.”
How miserable and painful is the life of missing, loving, and resenting someone who never looks back at you? Cecilia already knew that deep feeling.
“But what if I stay?”
So he knew that those feelings would be a long-term punishment for him.
"Then..."
Eden stopped answering and suppressed his emotions. However, the strength in the hand he was holding hinted at the answer.
“You won’t miss it, right?”
She remembered the moment on the way to Eden's coronation, when the luxurious dress felt like a heavy blanket, dragging down her body.
It was clearly a fear and worry about the future since neither the Empress Dowager nor herself could change anything in this life.
“Never again.”
Eden answered shortly. Cecilia touched Eden’s wet eyes with one hand, and with the other, she grabbed his hand that was holding hers. Then she kissed him on the lips.
At the same time, Eden held Cecilia’s chin with both hands and kissed her. As if to fill the lack of contact, as if longing for warmth, and as if longing for affection. Cecilia thought as she obediently accepted Eden’s touch.
No, even so, she won't give up on her second life. Even if she struggles with all her might, if nothing changes.
"Then."
I'm blinded by love and foolish, so I don't care.
“Let’s go together.”
Even if the end is hell.
Cecilia, who had been assigned to the palace as the new Empress, thought as she paced around her bedroom. Of course, Eden was not originally a man who would completely reveal his true feelings. However, recently, there was really no way to gauge his true feelings.
“...”
Of course, it's because he knows he's not the culprit. It's because he doesn't know that there's someone right next to him who knows what will happen in the future.
“Hello, Your Majesty the Empress.”
“Is His Majesty the Emperor inside?”
The attendant shook his head with an embarrassed expression at Cecilia's question.
“I haven’t heard it yet.”
“Did you say he weren’t going to come?”
“That’s not it. If you wait, it will come soon...”
Cecilia, standing in front of the restaurant, slowly rolled her eyes as if thinking about something. Then, she soon turned around with a determined face.
“Ah, Your Majesty the Empress!”
The face of the servant who had failed to follow the Emperor's first order to keep the Empress in the dining room turned pale. However, he did not have the power to disobey the Empress.
“His Majesty?”
Cecilia strode briskly toward the Emperor's palace. Of course, no matter how complicated the palace was, she never got lost. She could find her way even with her eyes closed.
“He is inside.”
The attendant nodded and answered.
“Tell him I want to see him right away.”
“Your Majesty, that is...”
The chamberlain hesitated. Cecilia did not just sit there and watch but grabbed the doorknob without warning. When she swung the door open, there was no one inside.
“You lied to me?”
Cecilia turned to the chamberlain with a blank expression and asked. The chamberlain jumped up and denied it. He continued with the excuse that he had never been out since he came in.
“...?”
It was then. A subtle sound was heard from somewhere. Cecilia went into the bedroom. She closed the door behind the chamberlain, who was still making excuses. If this was what she expected, it was something she couldn't let anyone find out about.
"Your Majesty?"
Cecilia quietly looked for Eden. After calling him that a couple of times, the nauseating sound coming from somewhere suddenly stopped.
"Your Majesty."
At that moment, Cecilia was sure. Without hesitation, she opened the door to the bathroom connected to the bedroom.
“Cecilia. Why are you here all of a sudden...”
The man who was hurriedly rinsing his mouth looked at Cecilia with a tired expression. He seemed a bit surprised.
“Because you didn’t come to eat.”
“I was going to go.”
He must have just vomited out stomach acid without eating anything. Did he come and pretend to eat without any problems when his stomach, throat, and mouth were not clean?
“In that physical condition?”
As she thought about that, a sudden surge of anger welled up in her.
“I don’t care.”
She didn't want him to be left alive so he could be used recklessly. She didn't want him to open his eyes safely so he could pretend like nothing happened while his body and mind were falling apart.
"Lie."
Cecilia met Eden's gaze and exposed his lies without holding back.
“Cecilia.”
A look of embarrassment appeared on Eden's face. He had not expected that someone would point out his lies so openly.
“Why are you lying?”
Eden closed his mouth in response to Cecilia's question. His face, with his mouth shut like a clamshell, seemed somewhat stubborn.
“You must be in pain.”
“...”
“Because of that, you can’t even swallow food, and you vomit even if you just drink water.”
Eden half-lowered his eyes as the words continued like a machine gun. He did so because he couldn't deny it.
“Why don’t you tell me? Why don’t you just be honest and say you’re not feeling well...!”
Finally, Cecilia asked the question she had been most anxious to ask. Eden raised his eyelids again and met her gaze, which he had been avoiding.
“Speak.”
He opened his mouth with difficulty, but his voice was a little hoarse. It seemed as if he didn't know what to say.
“What are you talking about?”
Eden muttered to himself.
"Jow?"
The tone of voice was filled with bitterness. It was also loneliness.
“I’m trying my best not to burden you, so why do you come and stir things up?”
Eden asked, one corner of his mouth raised hypocritically.
“You me.”
“...”
“You are a burden to my heart.”
Eden's eyes turned red. In a short time, several unfathomable pains had come into his life. There was no way he wouldn't want to lean on the body temperature of the person he loved the most.
But, but.
'Because I don't love you.'
He couldn't help it, thinking of Cecilia, who had trampled his heart with her twisted laughter.
'If you can't stand it, you should break up.'
She was a woman who could have decided to break up with him at any time. She barely managed to hold on to him. She took pity on him and kept him by her side because his brother was in danger of killing him.
"You."
“...”
“You are suffering because of my love.”
Eden's brain snapped. At the same time, Cecilia's heart sank. It was true that she was in pain. However, it was not because of Eden's love. It was just that her own heart, which she could not break even in this life, was burdensome.
“I hope you are not suffering. If it is because of my love, I would rather die and disappear.”
That was the reason he calmly accepted the crisis that could have been avoided that day. That was the reason he didn't wake up from the crisis of death for several days.
“But how do I say it? I’m lonely, I’m sad, I need someone to lean on.”
Because you love me.
Knowing that it was a sadness bordering on despair, Cecilia was left speechless.
“How can I, when you have a hard time even enduring me?”
"Your Majesty."
Cecilia called out to Eden quietly. Eden didn't answer. He simply pushed her flowing hair back with his large hands and took a deep breath, trying to suppress his emotions.
“Eden.”
Because I don't want to see you crumble and fall apart again.
“Look at me.”
But he couldn't help but sway from the weak temptation that whispered to him to look at her. Cecilia Lane Wyatt was the one who made him the weakest. Eden finally couldn't resist the impulse and lowered his gaze.
“...”
At the same time, tears fell from his eyes. Just like the day he found out that Cecilia had been secretly obtaining and taking contraceptive pills. But even more sadly.
Cecilia stared blankly at the tears that fell from his eyes and soaked his cheeks. Having been caught once, he had no shame, and the man as tall as a mountain was leaving behind the most fragile traces in the world.
"Sorry."
Cecilia whispered quietly, reaching out with both hands. She cupped his face in her small hands and pulled him down to her.
“I was wrong.”
And she whispered honestly. It was the truth that she realized the moment she saw him shed tears like a child.
“I’m scared of getting caught...”
She felt a pain piercing through her heart at Eden's tears. She couldn't forget her experiences from her previous life. What she had for Eden in his second life was clearly love and hate.
But if she divides the ratio, the affection was clearly greater than the hate. In the end, it came to the point where she couldn't stand to see him die. It was such a fragile resolution. To the point where she couldn't make a decision even after everything was laid out and even if someone helped her.
“That’s why I acted hypocritically.”
Eden was still crying like a little boy, and so the tears that fell from his eyes split the air and fell down Cecilia's cheeks.
“You don’t have to comfort me.”
Eden smiled faintly.
“I know it’s because you feel sorry for me.”
He lost his mother soon after he was born. He was rejected by his wife, to whom he had confessed his love to, clung to, and pleaded with. Then he lost his older brother, younger brother, and even his father.
“It’s okay now.”
So he knew that a good woman like Cecilia would feel sympathy for him. And that this was his opportunity.
“I can accept it if you leave now.”
But I didn't want to do that. Eden whispered, grabbing Cecilia's hand and pulling her down. Sure, there were times when he acted cowardly, but he didn't want to be ashamed of this feeling forever.
“It’s scary. Being left alone.”
Eden nodded at Cecilia's words. As if to prove his answer, he still held onto Cecilia's hand that had been pulled down.
“But I’m more afraid of seeing your back forever.”
How miserable and painful is the life of missing, loving, and resenting someone who never looks back at you? Cecilia already knew that deep feeling.
“But what if I stay?”
So he knew that those feelings would be a long-term punishment for him.
"Then..."
Eden stopped answering and suppressed his emotions. However, the strength in the hand he was holding hinted at the answer.
“You won’t miss it, right?”
She remembered the moment on the way to Eden's coronation, when the luxurious dress felt like a heavy blanket, dragging down her body.
It was clearly a fear and worry about the future since neither the Empress Dowager nor herself could change anything in this life.
“Never again.”
Eden answered shortly. Cecilia touched Eden’s wet eyes with one hand, and with the other, she grabbed his hand that was holding hers. Then she kissed him on the lips.
At the same time, Eden held Cecilia’s chin with both hands and kissed her. As if to fill the lack of contact, as if longing for warmth, and as if longing for affection. Cecilia thought as she obediently accepted Eden’s touch.
No, even so, she won't give up on her second life. Even if she struggles with all her might, if nothing changes.
"Then."
I'm blinded by love and foolish, so I don't care.
“Let’s go together.”
Even if the end is hell.
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