There was no way to make excuses in the first place, and Kishian didn't call me to hear excuses. He brought me here to harass me.
The only way to prove that I only know the Duke of Herssen by face is to reveal that I am 'Elona'...
"This is fake."
Suddenly, the image of Kishian saying those words in my dream and throwing the doll into the mud came to mind.
People don't like fakes, and neither will Kishian.
So, if he found out that I was a fake, he would have cut off my head right now and run back to burn down the palace.
Eventually, I gave up and sighed.
Then, Kishian's eyes, looking at me, frowned slightly.
"What are you doing? You don't say anything back. You just accept everything I say?"
"What should I say in response?"
"..."
"To you, all that comes out of my mouth are excuses, lies, and meaningless nonsense. Why do you want to listen to meaningless words?"
Before I knew it, he was looking at me with his smile gone.
What on earth were you trying to read from me, what did you want to hear from me? I couldn't read anything from him, who had completely erased even his fake smile.
After all, all we could feel from each other was a dryness that had been rustling from the beginning. Like old trees that pretended to be alive even though they had already died long ago, just standing on the ground.
"..."
"..."
The soldiers, excited about going home, were making a joyful noise outside the barracks, but there was only a dry silence between the two old trees.
It was at a point where it felt like the inside and outside of the barracks were two completely different worlds.
“Letie.”
He got up from his seat and called me.
Step, step.
His heavy footsteps, which had been slowly coming closer, stopped right in front of me.
After a while, Kishian affectionately lowered his body and met our eye level.
"It's not meaningless."
"Then could you explain? What is the meaning of reminding someone who has already been branded a traitor of their sins?"
"I wanted to see it for myself. Seeing you spouting out unscrupulous lies and excuses wouldn't it be easier for me if I saw that?"
"What do you mean, it's getting easier?"
"It's about despising you. Because you're a shameless, selfish liar, so I can despise you without feeling guilty."
Yeah, when I think about it, he had a point.
As for Kishian, who wanted to use me as a puppet to vent his anger, he probably wanted to make it clear that I was a shameless villain...
If you take your anger out on someone you're not sure is good or bad, you'll just end up feeling uneasy.
"What on earth did you expect from me?"
Suddenly, I felt so pathetic that I wanted to hide somewhere. Until this morning, I had hoped that he might look upon me favorably out of old friendship.
It was three years ago that I was in pleasure in his arms...
I had this ridiculous expectation that I would be able to get along with him...
And after our reunion, I wanted to erase from my memory even the slight thrill I felt when I saw his smile.
'If you want me to act like a liar, you can never act like one.'
I couldn't let him be a shameless liar who could slander me to his heart's content.
So, first, I hid my bitter feelings with a forced smile.
At the same time, I reached out and gently caressed his cheek and jaw.
I told him the truth he was thinking, even though he was flinching as if he didn't like it and was holding on.
"I'll stop lying. You're right."
Looking at his wide, surprised eyes, I continued.
"I said I was engaged to the Duke of Herssen without any feelings, but that wasn't true. I loved him so much that I called him to my bed every night."
"What the heck..."
"He was so good that I screamed so loudly that the hallway could be heard. The maids even scolded me, telling me to please keep my dignity as a Princess."
"..."
"It was also a lie when I said I didn't know about my father's assassination attempt. I begged my father to kill you because I wanted to marry the Duke of Herssen. That's why he sent the assassin."
I just recited the same things he believed to be true.
But he looked flustered as if he had heard something unexpected.
I could even feel a slight trembling in his hand that was resting on my lap.
He seemed very angry because he wanted to laugh at me making such ugly excuses, but he couldn't.
"I won't make excuses or lie anymore. I told you it wouldn't work anyway."
The moment I said that with a smile, he abruptly sat up and turned his back on me.
"I really can't listen to you. You committed the crime, so why are you complaining so much about it? If anyone heard you, they'd think you were the victim."
"I just-"
"Get out of here. I have no intention of having a meal with someone as shameless as you."
Yeah, if you have to go out, you have to go out. Is there any question about whether or not to go?
I took one last glance at Kishian, who was stubbornly turning his back, and at the dinner, I hadn't eaten at all before moving on.
Of course, there was no way for Kishian to catch me again after he left.
***
Elona's footsteps grew distant.
Kishian gritted his teeth, leaning his forehead against the pillar supporting the barracks.
The image of those terribly dry blue eyes would not fade from his mind.
'Why are you complaining like that? Who should be really angry?'
He still feels a gnashing of teeth when he recalls the day he heard the news of Letie and the Duke of Herssen's engagement.
That feeling of humiliation... That feeling of betrayal...
If she had never given him any room to do so in the first place, he wouldn't be this angry.
But, after he left on the expedition, he was betrayed by the woman he had been sending letters to, and he was so angry that he couldn't sleep at night.
At that moment, a middle-aged woman's voice was heard from outside the barracks.
"Your Highness, I heard that the Grand Duchess has returned to her carriage. Shall I clear away the dishes for you?"
"Yeah, I lost my appetite. Clean it all up."
After hearing Kishian's permission, the maid. 'Lady Bianca', entered the barracks.
The lady was the oldest of the maids brought by Kishian for the Grand Duchess and had served the longest in the Grand Duke's residence, next to the chief maid.
This attentive maid was always watching and looking after everyone with interest.
However, that interest was so excessive that it sometimes pointed out even the most unpleasant parts, like now.
"Hmm? I guess you haven't eaten at all. Judging from the cleanliness of the cutlery. Even Her Highness the Grand Duchess's cutlery shows no signs of use..."
I guess you didn't let me in.
If you eat smoothly in front of someone who almost died unjustly because of you, are you a human being?
He wanted to say that, but Kissian remained silent as the Emperor had decided to keep the fact that he had sent an assassin a secret from the world.
Madame Bianca, who was completely unaware of the Emperor's sins, continued to worry about the Grand Duchess with a tone of extreme regret.
"That's true, but... I'm worried. She was sleeping so deeply earlier that she skipped lunch. Is it okay if she skips dinner too?"
"You skipped lunch too?"
Unaware of the story, Kishian checked the stew that was Elona's share.
He was so absorbed in the conversation that he didn't notice it at all. Now that he looks back, the amount of stew the Grand Duchess should have eaten really hadn't decreased at all.
It didn't even seem like she was eating any bread, so it was like she skipped dinner.
Kishian's eyes twitched slightly.
"That woman."
Kissian himself had quite a few experiences of starving while hunting monsters. Since his basic physical strength was much higher than others, he would not collapse from skipping meals.
But it would not have been the Grand Duchess. For the Grand Duchess, who had regularly eaten the food prepared by the maids in the place, hunger would have been a very unfamiliar pain.
'Is this how you're going to protest?'
His eyes were furrowed even more than before.
He was so angry that they even went on a hunger strike to protest for doing such a good job.
'Either you starve to death or you die.'
He turned his gaze away, deciding not to care what happened.
But Madam Bianca, who used to say that she couldn't stand to see her children starve, couldn't just let it go.
"Unlike northern women, her body is so thin that it looks like she could collapse if you hit her lightly. If someone like that skips three meals a day, wouldn't she really collapse...?"
"..."
"Besides, I heard earlier that you had a bad dream while you were sleeping-"
"Stop."
Bianca's shoulders flinched at the firm voice of Kishian.
Although she had been serving Kishian for quite some time, Bianca had rarely seen him show any emotion.
Ever since he returned to the Grand Duke's residence after escaping from his ordeal, Kishian had been emotionally drained.
But now, after hearing the Grand Duchess story. Kishian-
'Why are you so angry...'
He is clearly angry and his eyes are furrowed.
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