However, it is not that I stopped eating or drinking completely, but I just ate less because I had no appetite.
Isn't that how it is in summer?
Instead, I often sought out cold, refreshing sorbets.
It was a summer that felt particularly long.
I was sitting in the shade of the first-floor terrace, enjoying the humid breeze.
I sat sideways against the back of the chair, absentmindedly thinking about various things.
Are you in control of everything? Are you missing anything? When will Julian calm down?
'Should we go and see for ourselves...'
Since I had only moved residence and was not Imprisoned, it was possible to go see Julian if I wanted to.
But I kept getting discouraged.
In my past life, I had seen the answer sheet once.
Julian's sincerity.
'Will you forgive me this time too?'
"No matter what you do, I will never hate you."
Does that include hurting Julian by protecting others from that 'something'?
"I really can't trust you anymore, Bridget."
Is the truth I heard from my past life more correct, or is the word I heard from him in this life more correct?
'Wouldn't the words you speak after learning the truth be more sincere?'
I cowered, hugging my knees.
The rounded corners of the chair supported my body like a cradle.
'What if Julian doesn't forgive me?'
Still, I was determined to dedicate my life to him.
In my past life, Julian came to me, so in this life, I must find him and knock on the door.
Having decided so...
'It's all my fault.'
I was shaking with self-reproach, just like before.
'Where did I go wrong?"
When I was locked up by Josh, I should have bitten his arm and broken down the door to get out.
No, he shouldn't have found out that I was secretly meeting Julian before...
No, when Julian Jokingly suggested, "Shall we just run away like this?", I should have taken his hand and left without looking back.
Or not.
Should I have just treated the injured Julian and turned away right away?
If all this had never happened, wouldn't there be so much regret, self-blame, and fear?
My thoughts went further and further into the past, all the way to the beginning...
It just seemed like everything was wrong.
Tears started to flow.
It was sad to find myself thinking about the same things I had thought about so many times in my past life.
How can there be no growth?
'Bridget, get up and stop crying. Are you just going to cry like this? Go apologize to Julian.'
My head was throbbing.
But my heart refused.
'A little later. Right now, I don't have the face or the strength to see Julian.'
Magi wriggled and clung to my body.
Although I felt uncomfortable, I didn't have the heart to do anything about it and just left them alone.
Kami was hiding in my shadow peeked its head out and sucked up the magi attached to me like a snack.
I just stared blankly at the sight.
Even though Kami was gathering so much magic energy, strangely, the magi energy surrounding me did not decrease, but rather grew larger.
Kami ate endlessly.
How much magic does a Shadow Knight consume?
As I watched that, my sense of time also became blurred.
Before I knew it, I had been wrapped in a magi wand like a cocoon.
It was the first time that so many magi had clung to me.
But I was strangely becoming more and more confused and did not realize this fact.
He crawled out of the shadows without Kami's permission.
Gooooooooo
Bridget didn't find that strange.
The surroundings were dark. It was not because the sun had set, but because the magi had trapped me.
I was left in a hazy state, shedding tears in Magi's cocoon.
"Why are you doing this?"
At that moment, Julian appeared through the magi barrier.
I raised my head in a daze.
Before anyone knew it, Kami had disappeared into my shadow.
"Julian...?"
"You moved the palace without my permission, and now you plan to turn this place into a grave?"
"Julian..."
"What the heck. Ha."
Julian glared at me, his lips pursed.
His gaze swept over my damp cheeks.
He absentmindedly lowered his hand and wiped away my tears.
"You cried."
I, who had been crying while worrying about what to do if Julian did not forgive me, was moved by his unchanging, warm hand.
The tears flowed even more without any results.
I looked at Julian with tears streaming down my face and my lips quivering.
If we had never met, I wouldn't have hurt you. Then you wouldn't have awakened to the curse, and you would have been happy somewhere without worrying about death. If only I hadn't existed, everything would have been okay.
Those words were on the tip of my tongue.
But I didn't dare say a word and swallowed it all down.
Julian looked up at me, who was just shedding tears, and lowered his head.
"Don't cry."
"...Sob."
"Don't cry, Bridget."
Julian's voice was more gentle than before.
"I'm sorry, Julian."
"Yes. I've heard enough of that."
"There's no way it's enough."
I couldn't believe that Julian had come to me first once again.
Always, even when he believed he had been betrayed and even when he knew the truth, Julian was the first to reach out to me.
"If you truly loved him, you should have trusted him and asked him for help. He would have done anything for you."
Millea was right.
I should have trusted Julian and relied on him from the beginning.
Then he would have put down his anger and come running to me, suggesting a better way.
I buried my face in Julian's hand and cried.
"Sorry."
"..."
"Sorry..."
"...Other things."
"Thank you."
"Also."
"I love you."
Julian lifted my face and wiped away my tears.
We stared at each other for a long time in silence.
Before we knew it, the magi that had been imprisoning me had disappeared.
A feeling of relief settled over me.
My hazy mind became clear as if it had never been like that.
Anger, betrayal, self-reproach, pain.
Such things sometimes become the sharpest and most painful weapons, stabbing the opponent helplessly and killing their soul.
But these are also powerless things that melt away with just one look of concern for each other.
That was the love that we called a miracle.
***
When I stopped crying, Julian touched my chapped lips and let out a small sigh.
"Eat."
"A moment ago..."
"Lies. Why are you doing this to me? It's so frustrating."
“...?”
I just blinked...
The cook whom Millea had sent to the palace of Serus prepared a delicious steak for lunch.
I said I had no appetite and put it down after eating three pieces, but then they brought out a colorful bowl of cold duck dish, saying it was because of the hot weather.
I tried it because I saw the chef's sincerity, and after a few bites of the sweet and sour taste, I felt full.
I even had a fruit sorbet for dessert.
Millea, who had been taking care of Julian, who had a small appetite, for a long time, became adept at feeding even people with poor appetites...
She took good care of me, telling me that I needed to eat well and stay strong at times like this.
So I couldn't understand what Julian was saying.
"Are you willing to die for me?"
"No. I'm fine..."
"Are you trying to threaten me like this or something?"
"What..."
"Just follow me and don't talk nonsense."
Julian hugged me.
I don't know what the situation was, but Julian hugged me.
I did as I was told and hugged his neck without saying a word.
His heartbeat could be heard nearby. It was a warm sound...
Julian came over the wall carrying me in his arms.
He climbed over the wall, but then he hesitated for a moment about where to go.
I was so desperate that I suddenly thought of Millea.
If you want to eat, go to Millea.
He ran to the sediment.
In fact, Millea had neither talent nor interest in cooking.
I rested my head on Julian's chest, feeling the cool breeze.
My hair was blowing around.
I couldn't tell if it was the wind that made my stuffy chest feel relieved or if it was Julian holding me.
It could be both.
uwu
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