How much do I trust him?
It was a sudden and embarrassing question.
Normally, I would have answered that I believed it very much, but since I had said that earlier, I couldn't do that.
“...”
“Yeah. That’s it.”
When I remained silent, Perdes seemed to notice something and smiled bitterly, shaking the note.
“So, are you going to ask the Duke of Lucien himself why he wrote such things?”
"Yes."
“At this late hour?”
“It doesn’t matter. That’s why Duke Lucien sent me this note just now.”
“Hmm.”
Perdes stroked his chin and checked the note again.
“Is it really necessary to go see Duke Lucien? If we just find out where Sir Aldor is, the problem can be easily solved.”
“That’s impossible.”
“Why? Isn’t that guy at the Duke’s residence right now?”
The ducal residence that Perdes speaks of was the ducal residence of the capital.
“No. Sir Aldor is currently at the Duke’s residence in Leopold’s domain.”
"Yes?"
Perdes' eyes widened in disbelief.
“The man who risked his life to protect you returned to the territory, leaving you behind?”
“Yes. That’s what I told him to do.”
“Ah, I see.”
Perdes nodded as if he finally understood.
“Since I am not at Leopold’s estate at this late hour and Sir Aldor would not have left the estate against my orders, I intend to meet with Duke Lucien and ask him about it.”
If Sir Aldor had disappeared from the realm, May or Jack would have sent me a letter.
I've instructed some of the Duke's servants in the capital to keep an eye on Sir Aldor and to report any unusual behavior to May or Jack.
It takes at least three days for the letters they send to reach me, so if Sir Aldor had been away, it would have been less than three days.
...But why am I calculating this?
I chuckled a little at myself for thinking this, as I was certain that Sir Aldor would never disobey my orders.
“Anyway, I have to go see Duke Lucien before it gets too late, so please get out of my way.”
I also held out my hand, asking for the note to be returned.
But instead of returning the note, Perdes simply rolled it up in his hand.
“I'll check.”
Then he said something strange.
“I will personally check whether Sir Aldor is at the Duke’s residence in Leopold’s domain or not.”
“He will definitely be at the Duke’s residence, so there’s no need to check.”
"Lie."
One side of Perdes's lips turned up askew.
“If you believed that, you wouldn’t have been shaken by this note, and you wouldn’t have tried to meet the Duke of Lucien this late at night.”
“...”
The words that hit the nail on the head made the doubts that had been buried deep in my heart raise their heads.
Right. I don't completely trust Sir Aldor.
That's why I put surveillance on him.
But I felt a little nauseous at my own double standards of bragging about believing in Sir Aldor.
“Anyway, I will personally check whether Sir Aldor is at the Duke’s residence in Leopold’s territory and let you know.”
“...Then it’s too late.”
Even if Perdes returned to Leopold's estate as quickly as possible, it would take three days.
“Don’t be late. I’ll leave right now and check and let you know before the sun rises at the latest.”
What the heck is this... Oh, really?
“Are you going to ask the Great Sage?”
“That’s right. With his help, we can fly all the way to Leopold’s estate in one breath.”
If someone else had said it, I would have dismissed it as nonsense, but when Perdes said it, I believed it.
In fact, he flew from the border of the empire to the capital in one breath.
“Then I will go myself.”
“No. I have to go for this.”
“Why?”
“Well, that’s a method that only I am allowed to use.”
Teleportation is a method only allowed to him?
I was a little curious, but I thought that Perdes and the Great Sage were close friends, so I let it go.
“Besides, you’re not feeling well, so I’ll go.”
“But... I can’t cause you any more trouble.”
“Don’t think like that. I don’t think it’s a nuisance at all.”
Perdes smiled, holding my hand tightly.
“I’m glad I could help you.”
It was a pure smile, without even a speck of falsehood.
How can you laugh like that when I say something like that?
How can I say that you're glad you could help me?
How, how... !
“Aren’t you... hurt... your pride?”
My foolish self was reflected in his golden eyes.
“I said something like that earlier, aren’t you angry?”
“Well, I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t angry at all.”
Perdes smiled a little awkwardly.
“At first, I was really angry. I also resented you for not understanding my feelings.”
His hand tangled with mine like a spider's web.
“I did, but as time passed, I began to regret it.”
“...Regret it?”
“Yeah. I feel ashamed and ashamed of myself for not understanding your feelings better and for ultimately forcing you to say such harsh things.”
I was dazed by the added explanation.
I couldn't understand a single word he said.
How can you understand it?
If I were Perdes, I would have left immediately, furious, not to mention regretting it.
Even if I had begged you for help, you would never have helped me.
This is not only true for me but for other people as well.
“I see you don’t understand what I’m saying.”
“...Of course. Sir Perdes’s actions right now are completely beyond common sense.”
“I see.”
Perdes laughed.
“There’s nothing I can do. When you love someone, your reason becomes paralyzed.”
"Love...""
"Yes."
Perdes interlocked his hands and gently rested his forehead against mine.
“I must have told you this many times.”
A close distance where your lips seem as if they could touch at any moment.
“I love you.”
His sincerity seeped into my body along with the breath that spread softly from the corner of his lips.
The sincerity that had seeped into me shook my firm resolve to push him away.
I knew it was stupid.
I knew that if I pushed him away with difficulty and he accepted me back, I would never be able to push him away again, but I still didn't want to keep him away.
It was because my will quickly melted away like sherbet under the hot sun, and greed raised its head.
“...I cannot repay your kindness, Lord Perdes.”
"I know."
I pushed away with what little will I had left, but it was futile.
“Even though you know everything, I’m doing it because I like it, so please don’t push me away.”
My heart kept pounding, so I closed my eyes tightly, feeling a little burdened.
The irony is that I felt fortunate more often than I felt like running away.
I'm glad he doesn't hate me.
I'm glad he still likes me.
He me, me...
...Why do I consider this a blessing?
My heart pounded as if it was broken, with questions that kept nagging at me.
I felt like I was forgetting something very important, and I couldn't control my emotions.
“I’ll go now before it’s too late.”
Perdes let go of my hand and stepped back.
I curled my fingers, missing the warmth that was fading away.
“I said I’d be back before sunrise, but don’t wait for me. Just sleep. I’ll wake you up when I get back.”
“...I haven’t asked Perdes to do that yet.”
“Then I guess you can ask me now.”
Perdes smiled naturally as if telling me to hurry up and try.
I could tell from the slightly trembling corners of his eyes that it wasn't a genuine smile, but rather a forced smile to show my consideration.
Actually, you're probably worried that I'll reject you.
But he doesn't want to burden me, so he forces a smile.
Even at a moment like this, you think of me first, not himself.
I feel this now, but he often behaves in a way that goes against common sense.
“Aren’t you going to ask me to do something?”
Even the voice that asked cautiously was full of worry and concern.
When I met his sad eyes, like a puppy that had been hit by rain, even my remaining will melted away.
“Please.”
At those few words, Perdes smiled brightly as if he owned the world.
“Yes! Just trust me! I’ll be back soon!”
“And I still believe in you, Perdes.”
Perdes turned as if he was going to run, but he couldn't take a single step.
I looked at his back and continued to say what I had been unable to say.
“What I said earlier... I didn’t mean it. I just said it because I was upset that you wanted to destroy the tower I worked so hard to build.”
“...”
“No matter how angry I was, I shouldn’t have said that... I’m really sorry.”
Perdes turned around again and hugged me tightly.
"It's okay."
As the distance grew closer, his scent penetrated deep into my lungs.
“As I said before, I don’t care at all, so don’t worry about it either.”
“That can’t be..."
“In times like this, you just have to say yes.”
Perdes asked me to do it quickly, so I said 'yes' to what he wanted.
"Good."
Then Perdes smiled and patted my head.
It felt a little strange to be his puppy, but I didn't feel bad and just sat in his arms quietly.
It was a sudden and embarrassing question.
Normally, I would have answered that I believed it very much, but since I had said that earlier, I couldn't do that.
“...”
“Yeah. That’s it.”
When I remained silent, Perdes seemed to notice something and smiled bitterly, shaking the note.
“So, are you going to ask the Duke of Lucien himself why he wrote such things?”
"Yes."
“At this late hour?”
“It doesn’t matter. That’s why Duke Lucien sent me this note just now.”
“Hmm.”
Perdes stroked his chin and checked the note again.
“Is it really necessary to go see Duke Lucien? If we just find out where Sir Aldor is, the problem can be easily solved.”
“That’s impossible.”
“Why? Isn’t that guy at the Duke’s residence right now?”
The ducal residence that Perdes speaks of was the ducal residence of the capital.
“No. Sir Aldor is currently at the Duke’s residence in Leopold’s domain.”
"Yes?"
Perdes' eyes widened in disbelief.
“The man who risked his life to protect you returned to the territory, leaving you behind?”
“Yes. That’s what I told him to do.”
“Ah, I see.”
Perdes nodded as if he finally understood.
“Since I am not at Leopold’s estate at this late hour and Sir Aldor would not have left the estate against my orders, I intend to meet with Duke Lucien and ask him about it.”
If Sir Aldor had disappeared from the realm, May or Jack would have sent me a letter.
I've instructed some of the Duke's servants in the capital to keep an eye on Sir Aldor and to report any unusual behavior to May or Jack.
It takes at least three days for the letters they send to reach me, so if Sir Aldor had been away, it would have been less than three days.
...But why am I calculating this?
I chuckled a little at myself for thinking this, as I was certain that Sir Aldor would never disobey my orders.
“Anyway, I have to go see Duke Lucien before it gets too late, so please get out of my way.”
I also held out my hand, asking for the note to be returned.
But instead of returning the note, Perdes simply rolled it up in his hand.
“I'll check.”
Then he said something strange.
“I will personally check whether Sir Aldor is at the Duke’s residence in Leopold’s domain or not.”
“He will definitely be at the Duke’s residence, so there’s no need to check.”
"Lie."
One side of Perdes's lips turned up askew.
“If you believed that, you wouldn’t have been shaken by this note, and you wouldn’t have tried to meet the Duke of Lucien this late at night.”
“...”
The words that hit the nail on the head made the doubts that had been buried deep in my heart raise their heads.
Right. I don't completely trust Sir Aldor.
That's why I put surveillance on him.
But I felt a little nauseous at my own double standards of bragging about believing in Sir Aldor.
“Anyway, I will personally check whether Sir Aldor is at the Duke’s residence in Leopold’s territory and let you know.”
“...Then it’s too late.”
Even if Perdes returned to Leopold's estate as quickly as possible, it would take three days.
“Don’t be late. I’ll leave right now and check and let you know before the sun rises at the latest.”
What the heck is this... Oh, really?
“Are you going to ask the Great Sage?”
“That’s right. With his help, we can fly all the way to Leopold’s estate in one breath.”
If someone else had said it, I would have dismissed it as nonsense, but when Perdes said it, I believed it.
In fact, he flew from the border of the empire to the capital in one breath.
“Then I will go myself.”
“No. I have to go for this.”
“Why?”
“Well, that’s a method that only I am allowed to use.”
Teleportation is a method only allowed to him?
I was a little curious, but I thought that Perdes and the Great Sage were close friends, so I let it go.
“Besides, you’re not feeling well, so I’ll go.”
“But... I can’t cause you any more trouble.”
“Don’t think like that. I don’t think it’s a nuisance at all.”
Perdes smiled, holding my hand tightly.
“I’m glad I could help you.”
It was a pure smile, without even a speck of falsehood.
How can you laugh like that when I say something like that?
How can I say that you're glad you could help me?
How, how... !
“Aren’t you... hurt... your pride?”
My foolish self was reflected in his golden eyes.
“I said something like that earlier, aren’t you angry?”
“Well, I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t angry at all.”
Perdes smiled a little awkwardly.
“At first, I was really angry. I also resented you for not understanding my feelings.”
His hand tangled with mine like a spider's web.
“I did, but as time passed, I began to regret it.”
“...Regret it?”
“Yeah. I feel ashamed and ashamed of myself for not understanding your feelings better and for ultimately forcing you to say such harsh things.”
I was dazed by the added explanation.
I couldn't understand a single word he said.
How can you understand it?
If I were Perdes, I would have left immediately, furious, not to mention regretting it.
Even if I had begged you for help, you would never have helped me.
This is not only true for me but for other people as well.
“I see you don’t understand what I’m saying.”
“...Of course. Sir Perdes’s actions right now are completely beyond common sense.”
“I see.”
Perdes laughed.
“There’s nothing I can do. When you love someone, your reason becomes paralyzed.”
"Love...""
"Yes."
Perdes interlocked his hands and gently rested his forehead against mine.
“I must have told you this many times.”
A close distance where your lips seem as if they could touch at any moment.
“I love you.”
His sincerity seeped into my body along with the breath that spread softly from the corner of his lips.
The sincerity that had seeped into me shook my firm resolve to push him away.
I knew it was stupid.
I knew that if I pushed him away with difficulty and he accepted me back, I would never be able to push him away again, but I still didn't want to keep him away.
It was because my will quickly melted away like sherbet under the hot sun, and greed raised its head.
“...I cannot repay your kindness, Lord Perdes.”
"I know."
I pushed away with what little will I had left, but it was futile.
“Even though you know everything, I’m doing it because I like it, so please don’t push me away.”
My heart kept pounding, so I closed my eyes tightly, feeling a little burdened.
The irony is that I felt fortunate more often than I felt like running away.
I'm glad he doesn't hate me.
I'm glad he still likes me.
He me, me...
...Why do I consider this a blessing?
My heart pounded as if it was broken, with questions that kept nagging at me.
I felt like I was forgetting something very important, and I couldn't control my emotions.
“I’ll go now before it’s too late.”
Perdes let go of my hand and stepped back.
I curled my fingers, missing the warmth that was fading away.
“I said I’d be back before sunrise, but don’t wait for me. Just sleep. I’ll wake you up when I get back.”
“...I haven’t asked Perdes to do that yet.”
“Then I guess you can ask me now.”
Perdes smiled naturally as if telling me to hurry up and try.
I could tell from the slightly trembling corners of his eyes that it wasn't a genuine smile, but rather a forced smile to show my consideration.
Actually, you're probably worried that I'll reject you.
But he doesn't want to burden me, so he forces a smile.
Even at a moment like this, you think of me first, not himself.
I feel this now, but he often behaves in a way that goes against common sense.
“Aren’t you going to ask me to do something?”
Even the voice that asked cautiously was full of worry and concern.
When I met his sad eyes, like a puppy that had been hit by rain, even my remaining will melted away.
“Please.”
At those few words, Perdes smiled brightly as if he owned the world.
“Yes! Just trust me! I’ll be back soon!”
“And I still believe in you, Perdes.”
Perdes turned as if he was going to run, but he couldn't take a single step.
I looked at his back and continued to say what I had been unable to say.
“What I said earlier... I didn’t mean it. I just said it because I was upset that you wanted to destroy the tower I worked so hard to build.”
“...”
“No matter how angry I was, I shouldn’t have said that... I’m really sorry.”
Perdes turned around again and hugged me tightly.
"It's okay."
As the distance grew closer, his scent penetrated deep into my lungs.
“As I said before, I don’t care at all, so don’t worry about it either.”
“That can’t be..."
“In times like this, you just have to say yes.”
Perdes asked me to do it quickly, so I said 'yes' to what he wanted.
"Good."
Then Perdes smiled and patted my head.
It felt a little strange to be his puppy, but I didn't feel bad and just sat in his arms quietly.
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