I asked honestly.
“You may not be able to enter the palace, but nothing else will change. I told you I would take responsibility for you. It will happen the way you want it to.”
He must have been a bit naive. Or maybe he just didn't have much experience with back-alley people like me. Those are the kind of people who try to rip off anyone who seems to have a little bit of money.
Otherwise, how could he easily say that he would take responsibility for the other person's wishes? If he had been saying such things so often, he would have had over a hundred wives by now.
I shook my head to chase away the useless thoughts.
“I’m talking about the dress I lost. Did you find it?”
“We’re still looking. The person who was looking after you left with your luggage. I’ve organized a search party, so it shouldn’t take long.”
As he said that, he straightened his back, which had been slightly bent toward me. It seemed as if he was going to return to his original position.
I felt regretful and ruffled the hem of my dress for no reason. I wanted to talk to him a little more.
After racking my brain, I came up with one question.
“If I were truly the Princess, you said I could call you by Your Highness the Duke’s name. What is Your Highness the Duke’s name?”
The Duke looked at me with those peculiar eyes. It seemed as if he was looking at me or at someone else.
For example, Princess Anastasia, with whom he spent his childhood.
He slowly opened his mouth, his eyes fixed on me.
“Laskan.”
It had a feel reminiscent of the barren plains of the North or of wolves.
The combination of his voice and words was so wonderful that I realized too late that it was not some magic spell but the duke's name.
He smiled faintly.
“I look forward to the day when I will be called that by you.”
A subtle warmth spread across his face, which was as cold as the cold north, and then disappeared.
While I was frozen in amazement at that smile, the Duke reached out and plucked a large, luscious flower from a nearby tree. It was the very flower I had been trying so hard to touch.
He handed me a bouquet of flowers in full bloom.
“From now on, if you want something, don’t come forward yourself but give orders to your maids. I’ll assign a few to you as soon as you arrive at the Duke’s residence.”
Leaving those words behind, the Duke returned to the front of the procession.
I don't know what made me close the window again and draw the curtains. I still felt like I was dreaming, and I was stiff, not even thinking about putting my back on the cushion.
My heart was beating so fast I felt like I was going to faint.
I admit, I definitely had a crush on him. Of all the men I've ever seen in my life, he was the most handsome.
I was only eighteen, and at an age when I was very vulnerable to appearances. Wouldn't it be more difficult not to be attracted to a man of power who was second to none in the country, and who was also very handsome?
But I knew my place. Whether my feelings for him were simple affection or there was potential for further development here, it was too presumptuous.
He's just being nice to Princess Anastasia, not me. And if it turns out I'm not Anastasia, all that warmth will disappear.
Very occasionally... I would occasionally have the thought that I might really be Princess Anastasia.
They say our appearances are similar, and I also had the Princess's necklace, and maybe the dress that Mama Olga kept was really from the royal family. Even to my eyes, who had been keeping a distance from precious things, it was truly luxurious.
But I obsessively pushed away the thought that I might be the real Princess.
It was miserable to imagine a situation where you had high expectations and became arrogant, only to later be told that you were no longer a Princess and were no longer needed.
It would have been better to not have any expectations from the beginning. Or to pretend not to feel anything at all.
When I was a child and occasionally wandered around with a gang of pickpockets, the whole street felt like home to me, except for the area near the castle of Lord George.
There were always guards stationed around the castle of Lord George, whether at the main gate or the back gate, all year round.
They brandished their spears and swords without hesitation whenever we approached as if they were poking at a sack of grain to see what was inside.
If I was lucky, it ended with a minor cut, but on unlucky days, I suffered a deep cut on my thigh or waist.
How could pickpockets afford to call a doctor? No matter how much pain they felt, they had no choice but to endure it by wrapping a dirty bandage around their wound and pressing down on it.
I gave old Jeven a ram and applied the medicine I bought. If I was unlucky, I would suffer for a very long time.
On the other hand, Mama Olga would call a doctor if I had a higher-than-usual fever. Of course, he was not a 'real' doctor.
Still, he was a more capable therapist than Jeven in the back alley, and he also ran a small clinic, and he charged 30 rams just for visiting patients. The treatment fee was separate.
It wasn't for nothing that pickpockets called me the back-alley Princess.
Anyway, now I was standing before a mansion that was twenty or fifty times more splendid than that shabby castle of George.
A huge iron gate, ornately decorated with black iron and gold, stood wide open before me.
Guards in red uniforms greeted us at the entrance. They saluted us in a line as we passed.
This was really great. I wanted to fool everyone forever into thinking I was the real Princess and fool everyone forever.
“Miss, we’ve arrived.”
I peeked open the curtains and saw about thirty servants lined up on either side of the front of the mansion.
I hesitated even after opening the carriage door. There were too many people staring at me and I felt intimidated. Jaina urged me once more.
“Come down quickly.”
“I will take care of you from here on out.”
It was the voice of the Duke, that is, Laskan.
I was even more at a loss and fidgeted with my hands.
“I, I’m, not ready yet...”
“Is there a problem?”
He seemed to have guessed the situation just by seeing me hesitate. When he gestured, I saw the servants disperse in unison.
I took Laskan's outstretched hand and slowly climbed down the carriage.
An old gentleman bowed his head.
“I am glad that you returned safely, Master.”
“Albert. How have you been?”
“You’ve worked hard.”
He acted as if he had only just noticed my presence.
“...Oh, are you the person you were talking about back then?”
"Yes."
He bowed to me again.
“This is Butler Albert. If there is anything that bothers you during your stay, please feel free to let me know. It would be my pleasure.”
It was my first time receiving such an old-fashioned greeting. I could only nod my head in bewilderment.
“This child is Lisa, the maid who will be serving you from now on. Lisa, say hello.”
“This is Lisa, Miss.”
The brown-haired girl who had been standing next to the old gentleman as if she had been waiting bowed to me.
She looked like she was my age, or maybe a year or two older than me. I didn't know what to do, so I just bent down and straightened up like her.
“I’m Sasha. Nice to meet you, everyone.”
Their eyes opened wide as if they were slightly surprised by my greeting, but they didn't say anything.
Before I could sense that I had done something wrong, Lisa spoke to me kindly.
“You must be tired from the long journey. I will show you to your room. Please follow me.”
I looked up at Laskan as if asking if that was okay.
But Laskan must have misunderstood my gaze. I had been asking if it was okay for me to follow Lisa, but he gently grabbed my wandering finger and tugged at it.
“I'll go too.”
My left hand was already resting on Laskan's. I must have looked like a duckling to him.
As for me, I felt so awkward being treated like a Princess out of nowhere, but everyone else seemed completely unfazed. To the point where if I were to pull out, it would seem very strange.
“Is there a place where she can stay in a bedroom ready?”
“I’ve sent personnel to the annex. The only room in the main building that’s ready for immediate use is the bedroom used by the former Duchess...”
“That room sounds nice.”
“Yes? But...”
The old gentleman opened his eyes wide and looked between us two.
“If you are bringing someone who will be the hostess rather than a temporary guest, then it is certainly possible...”
The butler trailed off, but I could clearly hear what he was saying behind his back.
An unmarried man would let a woman into the bedroom of a Duchess. If word got out, it would be a huge scandal.
I know, I knew it was Laskan, but he didn't seem to care about that at all.
“Can you make arrangements to stay there right away?”
“...Yes. Most of the items used by the former Duchess remain, and they are still being kept clean, so it won’t take long...”
“Just a moment!”
I quickly waved both hands.
“I don’t care where I stay. From what I’ve heard, it seems like a precious place, but I don’t think it’s right to go there.”
To be frank, it was a real burden. The Duchess's bedroom.
Besides, I wasn't really a guest. Laskan was just trying to do the best he could for me...
Well, I doubt that would be the case even if I wasn't the real Princess Anastasia.
“You may not be able to enter the palace, but nothing else will change. I told you I would take responsibility for you. It will happen the way you want it to.”
He must have been a bit naive. Or maybe he just didn't have much experience with back-alley people like me. Those are the kind of people who try to rip off anyone who seems to have a little bit of money.
Otherwise, how could he easily say that he would take responsibility for the other person's wishes? If he had been saying such things so often, he would have had over a hundred wives by now.
I shook my head to chase away the useless thoughts.
“I’m talking about the dress I lost. Did you find it?”
“We’re still looking. The person who was looking after you left with your luggage. I’ve organized a search party, so it shouldn’t take long.”
As he said that, he straightened his back, which had been slightly bent toward me. It seemed as if he was going to return to his original position.
I felt regretful and ruffled the hem of my dress for no reason. I wanted to talk to him a little more.
After racking my brain, I came up with one question.
“If I were truly the Princess, you said I could call you by Your Highness the Duke’s name. What is Your Highness the Duke’s name?”
The Duke looked at me with those peculiar eyes. It seemed as if he was looking at me or at someone else.
For example, Princess Anastasia, with whom he spent his childhood.
He slowly opened his mouth, his eyes fixed on me.
“Laskan.”
It had a feel reminiscent of the barren plains of the North or of wolves.
The combination of his voice and words was so wonderful that I realized too late that it was not some magic spell but the duke's name.
He smiled faintly.
“I look forward to the day when I will be called that by you.”
A subtle warmth spread across his face, which was as cold as the cold north, and then disappeared.
While I was frozen in amazement at that smile, the Duke reached out and plucked a large, luscious flower from a nearby tree. It was the very flower I had been trying so hard to touch.
He handed me a bouquet of flowers in full bloom.
“From now on, if you want something, don’t come forward yourself but give orders to your maids. I’ll assign a few to you as soon as you arrive at the Duke’s residence.”
Leaving those words behind, the Duke returned to the front of the procession.
I don't know what made me close the window again and draw the curtains. I still felt like I was dreaming, and I was stiff, not even thinking about putting my back on the cushion.
My heart was beating so fast I felt like I was going to faint.
***
I admit, I definitely had a crush on him. Of all the men I've ever seen in my life, he was the most handsome.
I was only eighteen, and at an age when I was very vulnerable to appearances. Wouldn't it be more difficult not to be attracted to a man of power who was second to none in the country, and who was also very handsome?
But I knew my place. Whether my feelings for him were simple affection or there was potential for further development here, it was too presumptuous.
He's just being nice to Princess Anastasia, not me. And if it turns out I'm not Anastasia, all that warmth will disappear.
Very occasionally... I would occasionally have the thought that I might really be Princess Anastasia.
They say our appearances are similar, and I also had the Princess's necklace, and maybe the dress that Mama Olga kept was really from the royal family. Even to my eyes, who had been keeping a distance from precious things, it was truly luxurious.
But I obsessively pushed away the thought that I might be the real Princess.
It was miserable to imagine a situation where you had high expectations and became arrogant, only to later be told that you were no longer a Princess and were no longer needed.
It would have been better to not have any expectations from the beginning. Or to pretend not to feel anything at all.
***
When I was a child and occasionally wandered around with a gang of pickpockets, the whole street felt like home to me, except for the area near the castle of Lord George.
There were always guards stationed around the castle of Lord George, whether at the main gate or the back gate, all year round.
They brandished their spears and swords without hesitation whenever we approached as if they were poking at a sack of grain to see what was inside.
If I was lucky, it ended with a minor cut, but on unlucky days, I suffered a deep cut on my thigh or waist.
How could pickpockets afford to call a doctor? No matter how much pain they felt, they had no choice but to endure it by wrapping a dirty bandage around their wound and pressing down on it.
I gave old Jeven a ram and applied the medicine I bought. If I was unlucky, I would suffer for a very long time.
On the other hand, Mama Olga would call a doctor if I had a higher-than-usual fever. Of course, he was not a 'real' doctor.
Still, he was a more capable therapist than Jeven in the back alley, and he also ran a small clinic, and he charged 30 rams just for visiting patients. The treatment fee was separate.
It wasn't for nothing that pickpockets called me the back-alley Princess.
Anyway, now I was standing before a mansion that was twenty or fifty times more splendid than that shabby castle of George.
A huge iron gate, ornately decorated with black iron and gold, stood wide open before me.
Guards in red uniforms greeted us at the entrance. They saluted us in a line as we passed.
This was really great. I wanted to fool everyone forever into thinking I was the real Princess and fool everyone forever.
“Miss, we’ve arrived.”
I peeked open the curtains and saw about thirty servants lined up on either side of the front of the mansion.
I hesitated even after opening the carriage door. There were too many people staring at me and I felt intimidated. Jaina urged me once more.
“Come down quickly.”
“I will take care of you from here on out.”
It was the voice of the Duke, that is, Laskan.
I was even more at a loss and fidgeted with my hands.
“I, I’m, not ready yet...”
“Is there a problem?”
He seemed to have guessed the situation just by seeing me hesitate. When he gestured, I saw the servants disperse in unison.
I took Laskan's outstretched hand and slowly climbed down the carriage.
An old gentleman bowed his head.
“I am glad that you returned safely, Master.”
“Albert. How have you been?”
“A man from Isaac of the Twelve died this morning, and I immediately summoned the Baron of Bethel, as you commanded me before.”
He acted as if he had only just noticed my presence.
“...Oh, are you the person you were talking about back then?”
"Yes."
He bowed to me again.
“This is Butler Albert. If there is anything that bothers you during your stay, please feel free to let me know. It would be my pleasure.”
It was my first time receiving such an old-fashioned greeting. I could only nod my head in bewilderment.
“This child is Lisa, the maid who will be serving you from now on. Lisa, say hello.”
“This is Lisa, Miss.”
The brown-haired girl who had been standing next to the old gentleman as if she had been waiting bowed to me.
She looked like she was my age, or maybe a year or two older than me. I didn't know what to do, so I just bent down and straightened up like her.
“I’m Sasha. Nice to meet you, everyone.”
Their eyes opened wide as if they were slightly surprised by my greeting, but they didn't say anything.
Before I could sense that I had done something wrong, Lisa spoke to me kindly.
“You must be tired from the long journey. I will show you to your room. Please follow me.”
I looked up at Laskan as if asking if that was okay.
But Laskan must have misunderstood my gaze. I had been asking if it was okay for me to follow Lisa, but he gently grabbed my wandering finger and tugged at it.
“I'll go too.”
My left hand was already resting on Laskan's. I must have looked like a duckling to him.
As for me, I felt so awkward being treated like a Princess out of nowhere, but everyone else seemed completely unfazed. To the point where if I were to pull out, it would seem very strange.
“Is there a place where she can stay in a bedroom ready?”
“I’ve sent personnel to the annex. The only room in the main building that’s ready for immediate use is the bedroom used by the former Duchess...”
“That room sounds nice.”
“Yes? But...”
The old gentleman opened his eyes wide and looked between us two.
“If you are bringing someone who will be the hostess rather than a temporary guest, then it is certainly possible...”
The butler trailed off, but I could clearly hear what he was saying behind his back.
An unmarried man would let a woman into the bedroom of a Duchess. If word got out, it would be a huge scandal.
I know, I knew it was Laskan, but he didn't seem to care about that at all.
“Can you make arrangements to stay there right away?”
“...Yes. Most of the items used by the former Duchess remain, and they are still being kept clean, so it won’t take long...”
“Just a moment!”
I quickly waved both hands.
“I don’t care where I stay. From what I’ve heard, it seems like a precious place, but I don’t think it’s right to go there.”
To be frank, it was a real burden. The Duchess's bedroom.
Besides, I wasn't really a guest. Laskan was just trying to do the best he could for me...
Well, I doubt that would be the case even if I wasn't the real Princess Anastasia.
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