Raising his voice, Arkan tried to convince himself that he had to calm down, that he had to calm down, but it didn’t work.
When he thought about how dangerously tightrope walking Erdene was doing, and how serious the consequences would be for not only her but everyone else if things went wrong, he couldn’t calm down.
Erdene glared at Arkan with angry eyes and then turned her head away.
Her side profile, as she turned away, looked cold.
However, Arkan could clearly see her blue eyes shaking. Arkan sighed and rubbed his face, then grabbed Erdene’s shoulder.
“Look at me.”
Erdene, who had been stubborn for a moment, belatedly turned her gaze to Arkan.
When their eyes met, the two felt a deep fatigue as they anticipated from each other’s expressions that they would not be able to find a compromise on this issue.
“I feel sorry for your father. I really do.”
Erdene shook her head with a sneer. She turned away from Arkan’s hand and sat down away from him.
But Arkan stubbornly sat close to her.
“Leave this to me. I can’t promise to reveal the truth right now, but someday...”
“If Your Majesty interferes rashly and ruins things, it will only make things worse. Don’t you know that? Or are you trying to appease me with empty words?”
“That’s not it.”
You’re stupid. Arkan thought. He felt so stupid that he was dumbfounded.
If not, then what? Erdene was right.
He was trying to appease her with empty words. He only thought about making her stop this dangerous tightrope walk and get her down to safety, and he had no idea how to send her to the other side she wanted.
“There’s no way, right? Even Your Majesty.”
Erdene sneered. But it was quite different from his usual cold and sly tone.
It sounded somewhat deflated, and that fact made Arkan feel bad.
At that moment, he felt a burning urge to rush to the empire and drag Tenek out by the collar for Erdene.
Erdene stubbornly avoided his gaze and took a deep breath.
“The reason I hid this from the beginning was because I didn’t want you to get involved in this.”
“What do you mean?”
Arkan’s voice was dry as he asked.
Erdene placed her hand on her forehead and narrowed her brows. Her headache was severe. She felt dizzy, just like when she had collapsed and lost consciousness.
“I knew that if you found out about this, you would try to help me in some way. But that was because you sympathized with me, not because you viewed this issue politically. Am I wrong?”
Arkan had no answer. Erdene was not disappointed by that fact, but let out a worried sigh.
“Your Majesty, your judgment is not wrong. If you start to deal with this issue politically, that is, if you try to develop it into a problem between countries, then Your Majesty’s words will be more likely to come true. Tenek might come driving the imperial army inland tomorrow. This is a different matter from killing a mouse or two. This is a story about the death of the previous Emperor, the highest authority in the empire. Even to me.”
Erdene’s words paused for a moment.
She bit her lips as if she didn’t want to even think about it, and then said with an expression as if she was swallowing a bug.
"...This is tantamount to murder for me and Tenek. Do you understand? It is something that can never be forgiven, and no one dares to forgive. You are going to touch on this sensitive issue officially? How can you do that?”
Arkan, who was watching the calloused, slender fingers slowly move back and forth, answered.
“Even if I’m not there, I should say I am, in this case. And, it’s better than having something happen without knowing anything. Tell your adjutants to find some evidence by then. That way..."
Erdene lowered her head and sat closer to Arkan, listening.
Arkan, who was looking down at her interlocked hands, said,
“...That way, you will have a justification for your revenge.”
“Are you serious?”
“I am serious.”
Erdene, who had been silent, burst into laughter.
She soon wrapped her arms around Arkan’s shoulders and looked up at the ceiling. She thought that she was the one who needed comfort in this way, but right now, Arkan seemed to need comfort just as much as Erdene.
Or courage. Or whatever.
“Why are you doing that?”
Arkan, who was burying his forehead on her shoulder, mumbled back.
“What do you mean?”
“I feel like this isn’t a decision like yours.”
That’s right. Arkan muttered to himself. Of course, it wasn’t like him.
Even now, Arkan Cyprusmain, who was rational, could be heard shouting in a corner of his mind.
This is crazy. It’s neither logical nor reasonable to interfere in something that has already happened.
Arkan said,
“That’s true. But... Anyway, anyway. Since I married you, I haven’t really been myself. At least not like the ‘Arkan Cyprusmain’ that people knew.”
He blinked for a moment and then placed his lips on Erdene’s nape.
“I can’t just ignore your childish tantrums, and I can’t ignore the things you do that annoy me, so I have to take them all on myself. That’s not something that befits ‘His Majesty King Arkan.’ So I don’t think it’s necessary to say that again.”
Erdene said, hugging Arkan’s shoulder and gently stroking it.
“Do you think that if you just have a soft voice, that’s all? Did you think that if you cursed at me like that, I wouldn’t understand and just let it go?”
When he thought about how dangerously tightrope walking Erdene was doing, and how serious the consequences would be for not only her but everyone else if things went wrong, he couldn’t calm down.
Erdene glared at Arkan with angry eyes and then turned her head away.
Her side profile, as she turned away, looked cold.
However, Arkan could clearly see her blue eyes shaking. Arkan sighed and rubbed his face, then grabbed Erdene’s shoulder.
“Look at me.”
Erdene, who had been stubborn for a moment, belatedly turned her gaze to Arkan.
When their eyes met, the two felt a deep fatigue as they anticipated from each other’s expressions that they would not be able to find a compromise on this issue.
“I feel sorry for your father. I really do.”
Erdene shook her head with a sneer. She turned away from Arkan’s hand and sat down away from him.
But Arkan stubbornly sat close to her.
“Leave this to me. I can’t promise to reveal the truth right now, but someday...”
“If Your Majesty interferes rashly and ruins things, it will only make things worse. Don’t you know that? Or are you trying to appease me with empty words?”
“That’s not it.”
You’re stupid. Arkan thought. He felt so stupid that he was dumbfounded.
If not, then what? Erdene was right.
He was trying to appease her with empty words. He only thought about making her stop this dangerous tightrope walk and get her down to safety, and he had no idea how to send her to the other side she wanted.
“There’s no way, right? Even Your Majesty.”
Erdene sneered. But it was quite different from his usual cold and sly tone.
It sounded somewhat deflated, and that fact made Arkan feel bad.
At that moment, he felt a burning urge to rush to the empire and drag Tenek out by the collar for Erdene.
Erdene stubbornly avoided his gaze and took a deep breath.
“The reason I hid this from the beginning was because I didn’t want you to get involved in this.”
“What do you mean?”
Arkan’s voice was dry as he asked.
Erdene placed her hand on her forehead and narrowed her brows. Her headache was severe. She felt dizzy, just like when she had collapsed and lost consciousness.
“I knew that if you found out about this, you would try to help me in some way. But that was because you sympathized with me, not because you viewed this issue politically. Am I wrong?”
Arkan had no answer. Erdene was not disappointed by that fact, but let out a worried sigh.
“Your Majesty, your judgment is not wrong. If you start to deal with this issue politically, that is, if you try to develop it into a problem between countries, then Your Majesty’s words will be more likely to come true. Tenek might come driving the imperial army inland tomorrow. This is a different matter from killing a mouse or two. This is a story about the death of the previous Emperor, the highest authority in the empire. Even to me.”
Erdene’s words paused for a moment.
She bit her lips as if she didn’t want to even think about it, and then said with an expression as if she was swallowing a bug.
"...This is tantamount to murder for me and Tenek. Do you understand? It is something that can never be forgiven, and no one dares to forgive. You are going to touch on this sensitive issue officially? How can you do that?”
“Then you are saying that you will continue this? Don’t you know that this is more dangerous than giving a candle to a child?”
“No, I know. I know, but I have to do it.”
Arkan stared at Erdene, almost wanting to scream. He knew without even asking that she wouldn’t give up. Remembering that fact brought an eerie calmness to him.
The problem wasn’t whether to break through the situation or stop it.
He had already missed the chance to focus on that... Then what about Erdene? Erdene definitely wouldn’t stop.
Arkan didn’t have a single trick that could stop her.
But he couldn’t just ignore it.
Arkan grabbed Erdene’s hand and whispered,
“Then let’s do this.”
How?
Erdene’s eyes sparkled as she looked at him.
Was it curiosity, anticipation, or ridicule? Either was fine. This was all Arkan could offer now.
“I will join too.”
Erdene seemed not to understand his words, and for a moment she remained silent before narrowing her eyes.
She tried to pull her hand away, but Arkan tightly gripped her fingers at that moment.
She looked down at Arkan’s hand that was holding hers.
It was a smooth hand that had never been related to iron, weapons, or blood.
If it had been before, it would have been funny, but not now. Strangely enough. And she found herself wanting to trust Arkan.
Arkan said. His mind was spinning busier than ever.
He thought and thought about how to take the lead in this matter that could easily become a huge storm and sweep away their peaceful daily lives. How could he keep Erdene safe while still remaining true to his duties and responsibilities as King?
“I will send an envoy.”
“An envoy?”
Erdene asked again.
“No way, to the Empire?”
Arkan nodded.
“I’m not sending them because of this. It was planned anyway. After the harvest season, the food that was brought in from all over the inland will pile up. We need to discuss future matters with the Empire on behalf of our inland allies. And to check the mood. When we send the envoy, you and I will go to the Empire together.”
This time, it was a truly surprising statement.
“Directly... Let’s go to the Empire?”
Arkan nodded.
“I wasn’t planning on never returning to the Empire anyway. What I mean is, that you should be able to come and go freely there. That’s your hometown. So let’s do this. You and I will go there ourselves and buy time to find out what’s going on.”
Erdene’s eyes shook slightly. It wasn’t because she distrusted Arkan. It was because she was now filled with fear.
The fear of having to face her father’s death head-on, the terrible reality that her comrade born in the same boat, no matter how much they were enemies who would kill or save, was related to her father’s death, finally came to her.
However, Erdene thought. However, the knight of Hirschsten did not waver or back down in the face of any fear.
“...Are you sure you can handle it?”
“No, I know. I know, but I have to do it.”
Arkan stared at Erdene, almost wanting to scream. He knew without even asking that she wouldn’t give up. Remembering that fact brought an eerie calmness to him.
The problem wasn’t whether to break through the situation or stop it.
He had already missed the chance to focus on that... Then what about Erdene? Erdene definitely wouldn’t stop.
Arkan didn’t have a single trick that could stop her.
But he couldn’t just ignore it.
Arkan grabbed Erdene’s hand and whispered,
“Then let’s do this.”
How?
Erdene’s eyes sparkled as she looked at him.
Was it curiosity, anticipation, or ridicule? Either was fine. This was all Arkan could offer now.
“I will join too.”
Erdene seemed not to understand his words, and for a moment she remained silent before narrowing her eyes.
She tried to pull her hand away, but Arkan tightly gripped her fingers at that moment.
She looked down at Arkan’s hand that was holding hers.
It was a smooth hand that had never been related to iron, weapons, or blood.
If it had been before, it would have been funny, but not now. Strangely enough. And she found herself wanting to trust Arkan.
Arkan said. His mind was spinning busier than ever.
He thought and thought about how to take the lead in this matter that could easily become a huge storm and sweep away their peaceful daily lives. How could he keep Erdene safe while still remaining true to his duties and responsibilities as King?
“I will send an envoy.”
“An envoy?”
Erdene asked again.
“No way, to the Empire?”
Arkan nodded.
“I’m not sending them because of this. It was planned anyway. After the harvest season, the food that was brought in from all over the inland will pile up. We need to discuss future matters with the Empire on behalf of our inland allies. And to check the mood. When we send the envoy, you and I will go to the Empire together.”
This time, it was a truly surprising statement.
“Directly... Let’s go to the Empire?”
Arkan nodded.
“I wasn’t planning on never returning to the Empire anyway. What I mean is, that you should be able to come and go freely there. That’s your hometown. So let’s do this. You and I will go there ourselves and buy time to find out what’s going on.”
Erdene’s eyes shook slightly. It wasn’t because she distrusted Arkan. It was because she was now filled with fear.
The fear of having to face her father’s death head-on, the terrible reality that her comrade born in the same boat, no matter how much they were enemies who would kill or save, was related to her father’s death, finally came to her.
However, Erdene thought. However, the knight of Hirschsten did not waver or back down in the face of any fear.
“...Are you sure you can handle it?”
Erdene asked, playing with Arkan’s fingers.
Arkan, who was watching the calloused, slender fingers slowly move back and forth, answered.
“Even if I’m not there, I should say I am, in this case. And, it’s better than having something happen without knowing anything. Tell your adjutants to find some evidence by then. That way..."
Erdene lowered her head and sat closer to Arkan, listening.
Arkan, who was looking down at her interlocked hands, said,
“...That way, you will have a justification for your revenge.”
“Are you serious?”
“I am serious.”
Erdene, who had been silent, burst into laughter.
She soon wrapped her arms around Arkan’s shoulders and looked up at the ceiling. She thought that she was the one who needed comfort in this way, but right now, Arkan seemed to need comfort just as much as Erdene.
Or courage. Or whatever.
“Why are you doing that?”
Arkan, who was burying his forehead on her shoulder, mumbled back.
“What do you mean?”
“I feel like this isn’t a decision like yours.”
That’s right. Arkan muttered to himself. Of course, it wasn’t like him.
Even now, Arkan Cyprusmain, who was rational, could be heard shouting in a corner of his mind.
This is crazy. It’s neither logical nor reasonable to interfere in something that has already happened.
Arkan said,
“That’s true. But... Anyway, anyway. Since I married you, I haven’t really been myself. At least not like the ‘Arkan Cyprusmain’ that people knew.”
He blinked for a moment and then placed his lips on Erdene’s nape.
“I can’t just ignore your childish tantrums, and I can’t ignore the things you do that annoy me, so I have to take them all on myself. That’s not something that befits ‘His Majesty King Arkan.’ So I don’t think it’s necessary to say that again.”
Erdene said, hugging Arkan’s shoulder and gently stroking it.
“Do you think that if you just have a soft voice, that’s all? Did you think that if you cursed at me like that, I wouldn’t understand and just let it go?”
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