Arkan thought about how weak his words were.
It was such a pitiful thing that his face turned red.
Of course, he also thought that it was something he shouldn’t say as a King who was responsible for leading the country’s fate.
A person who took the throne could make mistakes, but he shouldn’t regret them. Because the moment he regrets it, he betrays everyone who believes in him and follows him.
That was the first lesson Arkan received from his father when he took the throne as Crown Prince in place of his dead brother.
Never regret your choice, accept the outcome of your choice, and seek the next path.
That was the right lesson. That’s why Arkan couldn’t honestly confess his feelings until he abdicated and held his father’s funeral.
He regretted it. He regretted inheriting the Crown Prince’s position. What if it had been unavoidable, he would have run away like his uncle.
“Maybe I don’t have the qualities to be a King.”
Arkan muttered.
“So... I am sorry to you. I am truly sorry. Unlike me, you... Yes. You would have been the Emperor. If you had been, you would have made Hirschsten an even more powerful empire. That would have been our tragedy. It would have been a nightmare for the entire inland, for everyone living their own culture and lives. I wanted to stop that... That’s why I had to trip you up like that.”
Arkan blinked and pressed his heated eyebrows.
“I’m sorry. For taking your life away.”
The inside of his eyelids burned brightly. His bloodshot eyes stared at the pattern of the carpet on the floor. His dim vision seemed to waver.
A small voice was heard from behind him.
“I will take care of my own life.”
Arkan’s eyes, which had been bowing, opened wide. For a moment, Arkan’s mouth fell open as he turned around so quickly that his throat ached.
Erdene was looking at him. Open her eyes. Her face still looked listless, but she moved her lips slightly to show a faint smile.
Arkan unconsciously twisted and pinched his thigh with all his might.
It hurt so much that he knew this wasn’t a dream.
“...You.”
A single word barely escaped Arkan’s throat. And something hot fell down.
Erdene, who opened her eyes wide as if slightly surprised, grimaced and laughed.
“Why are you crying?”
Arkan’s face turned red.
“Who is crying?”
“Your Majesty right now.”
“I’m not crying. It’s because something got in my eye. Am I crying because of you? Why do I like a squeamish person like you, who always kicks the table with her feet, and who is stubborn?”
Every time he sobbed, his hot breath caught in his throat.
Erdene, who was staring at Arkan, whose face was soaked with tears, pursed her lips and nodded slightly.
“Yes, I understand. If that’s what Your Majesty says, then so be it.”
I’m dying of rage. Arkan thought.
The relief and joy of her waking up filled his chest, wrapping his entire body like thick, soft silk.
The strength drained from his fingertips, but his blood boiled enough to feel like he could carry Erdene around the castle right away.
Arkan, who glared at Erdene’s slightly pale face in the darkness as if they were having a staring contest, let out the breath he had been holding and lay down on top of her. He supported himself with both arms so that the weight would not be applied, and then very gently hugged Erdene’s body.
We’ve touched. Erdene thought. Arkan felt closer than ever.
It wasn’t the first time she had hugged him, but it felt new as if it were the first time.
She could feel his whole body was hot. His forehead, earlobes, the back of his neck, and his whole body were burning hot.
Erdene’s hand slowly rose upward.
She gently touched Arkan’s curly hair, then went down and patted his broad back.
He was still crying. Tears dripped down, soaking Erdene’s nape, and his shoulders, and seeping into her skin.
“You don’t have to live forever feeling indebted to me for my life... What was meant to happen has already happened, and I also have accepted some things for my... people.”
Arkan, who had been silent for a long time, whispered in a wet voice.
“Even so, I’m sorry.”
Erdene laughed.
“I’ll forgive you. I’m broad-minded. Unlike others.”
Arkan's lips moved as he raised his head.
Their gazes met in the darkness.
"Would you please raise me?"
Erdene said. However, Arkan stared blankly at her face the whole time and shook his head.
"No. Just lie down."
Arkan tilted his head and carefully covered her lips.
When his salty lips parted with hot breath, Erdene closed her eyes and hugged his shoulders and neck.
They continued kissing until their mismatched breaths met and they were out of breath.
It was their first kiss.
***
When Erdene regained consciousness after six days, the palace, which had been as quiet as a mouse, became bustling again as if nothing had happened.
The maids worked, humming in excitement, and Viscountess Wickes ran in almost as if she was going to start a storm, grabbed Erdene, shed tears, and left.
“It’s finally quiet.”
Erdene, who was sitting on the bed, said with a sigh.
Sophia, who had brought new water for her to drink, smiled when she heard that.
“Your Majesty has woken up safely, and everyone is so happy.”
Erdene smiled and looked at Sophia.
“It’s obvious even without looking. You must have suffered the most. Thank you.”
“I just did what I had to do. And His Majesty must have cared more than I did.”
Erdene, who was drinking the water from the glass, looked at Sophia with new eyes.
“His Majesty?”
Sophia nodded.
“Yes. His Majesty came every night to stay by Your Majesty’s side. He even gave you a medicinal bath in the hopes that Your Majesty would regain consciousness. He searched for all the good things about fevers and had freshly harvested apples brought from the Duchy of Stradhog. Maybe those apples really did help. I gave the newly made medicine to Your Majesty twice yesterday.”
While listening to Sophia, Erdene’s mind kept flashing through Arkan’s mind last night.
The man who cried with his face soaked with shame and disrespect.
He didn’t just wail, but he was practically sobbing.
If he had put that much effort into it, then of course his emotions would have been overwhelming.
She didn’t think Arkan hadn’t looked at her at all, but she couldn’t have imagined that she would have done that.
Above all, how fiercely she had been fighting just before she collapsed...
‘I finally understand why he cried so much.’
Erdene thought. If he had been so anxious, how would he have felt when she opened her eyes?
Then Sophia said,
“And, there’s one more thing I have to tell Your Majesty.”
“To me? What is it?”
Erdene felt both puzzled and worried at Sophia’s appearance, which was different from her usual calm demeanor, but somehow at a loss.
“Sophia?”
“It’s about the medicine made with apples from the duchy that I mentioned earlier. In fact, the person who made the medicine was my mother. When I was young, I almost died from a fever, and my mother made the medicine herself and cured me... I asked His Majesty. Please allow my mother to return to the capital for a while.”
It was something that even Erdene could not have expected.
Erdene, who now remembered the arrogant expression of the Marchioness Fiddlers whose face she could not even see, asked back in disbelief.
“Your mother made the medicine for me?”
“Yes, Your Majesty. You will know it someday, but I thought it was right for me to tell you first.”
After catching her breath, Sophia continued.
“However, I am not asking Your Majesty to forgive my mother’s mistake. I just thought it would be better if Your Majesty knew the cause-and-effect relationship.”
Erdene, who had been quietly listening to her, eventually nodded.
“So where is your mother now?”
Sophia answered.
“She is at the Marquis’ residence. His Majesty has ordered her to refrain from entering the palace.”
“If I awoke with your mother’s help, then I have to send greetings, no matter what the previous incident was.”
“There is no need to do that. I will convey this well to my mother.”
However, Erdene shook her head.
“Tell her to come. Maybe tomorrow or the day after. I do not know whether His Majesty will keep your mother in the capital or send her back down to the fiefdom.”
“Understood, Your Majesty. Thank you.”
Sophia bowed politely on her knees.
At that moment, the bedroom door opened and Arkan came in.
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