HTMSAE - Chapter 119 < A pure white night that cannot be revealed even to the moonlight >




As she spoke, Ines began to unbutton her robe one by one.

Thump, thump, the rough buttons were painfully unfastened by her fingertips.

Her hands, shining transparently in the moonlight, trembled thinly as if it were an illusion. The blue veins on the back of her hand became clearer and blurred repeatedly as Ines moved.

Carson could not even breathe and just watched her actions.

“Ines.”

With difficulty, Carson called her name and squeezed her white hand tightly.

“Now... What are you doing?”

However, there was no strength in his fingertips.

The sound of a thick cloth sliding down echoed in the quiet imperial palace bedroom. When he lifted his gaze from the robe that had fallen to the floor with a loud noise, a dazzling woman was standing there.

Just thinking about the woman who had made a difficult decision and walked down the hallway with a trembling heart made his heart.

Ines blushed brightly when her clothes were revealed. She still couldn’t answer his questions. In the end, it was Carson who became impatient as he saw her shining transparently in front of him.

“You said you wouldn’t be my concubine.”

Carson’s voice, which felt cold at first, came out lower than usual.

“That’s right.”

“But?”

“To become His Majesty’s lover.”

“Lover...”

The words lingered awkwardly in his mouth as if he was speaking for the first time since birth. His eyes naturally turned red as if someone had pressed hard on his head. He didn’t say anything else after that.

Ines gradually lost confidence in Carson’s silence.

Since declaring that she would become Empress, she hadn’t been able to sleep comfortably for even a single day. She had made up her mind, but the road to him was not smooth.

Asking to meet with Prime Minister Bonifax was not easy. However, she eventually met him and succeeded in taking the first step toward Carson.

Of course, it was still early. It was a situation where it was impossible to know what would happen next.

And yet.

“I’m in a hurry.”

Carson’s chest swelled and his chin rose at those words.

“It’s too far to go. That’s why I can’t wait any longer.”

She honestly expressed her feelings. The enemy would make some kind of move soon. Ines’s heart grew immeasurably anxious, wondering if there would be a moment when she would have to separate from Carson because of that.

Carson reached out and grabbed Ines’ chin and stroked her cheek with his thumb. Her eyes closed involuntarily at his warm touch.

“I want to be with you as soon as possible.”

“What...?”

“Your Majesty’s lover, the woman you love.”

“That’s already the case.”

Carson used the finger he was stroking her cheek to touch her lips. Her flushed lips parted slightly, releasing a hot, sweet breath.

“So... You don’t like it?”

Ines opened her eyes and looked at Carson. When their eyes met, he snickered as if he was dumbfounded.

“You call that a question?”

Carson couldn’t make the woman who had been harassing him for so long wait even for a moment. He was so harassed that he couldn’t even feel a little resentment. He was anxious that the waves that had surged before his eyes would disappear like bubbles.

He gently hugged Ines’s back. As his body, much warmer than his hand, was held, his wet breath escaped without him knowing. He had to console himself so that his hand, which resembled his heart, wouldn’t become impatient.

“Close your eyes.”

Ines’s heart sank at those insignificant words. He led her to his bedside. It was a pure white night that couldn’t even be revealed to the moonlight.

Carson opened the first drawer of the nightstand right next to the bed.

He took out Ines’ necklace from it, went behind her, and put it around her neck. As soon as the cold sensation touched her neck, Carson’s hot lips settled on the nape of her neck.

Ines took a deep breath and straightened up at the indescribable sensation.

It was a spring night when the cold had not yet gone away. It was after Ines met him when she was 20, and the years that had passed could only be guessed.

“I’ll get rid of everything except this.”

The words that suddenly felt mischievous met with a cold voice, bringing about a strange feeling.

Following his hands that stretched out his arm and swept down from her shoulder, Ines’ clothes were also dragged down. Goosebumps ran down her white flesh.

He whispered, carefully kissing every spot that was revealed under the transparent moonlight.

“This is incredible.”

“What... are you going?”

Ines barely managed to answer, her mind becoming dizzy at the touch of his hands.

“You’re in a hurry?”

He buried his lips thickly along her shoulder line and suddenly inhaled deeply.

“Is it hard to wait?”

Although she did not feel much pain, Ines let out a faint groan at the punishing action.

“So, do you not like it?”

As soon as he heard the words mixed with laughter, Ines’s body turned around. Ines hugged his neck. It was a desperate movement, like someone standing on a cliff.

Immediately, someone’s breath that he did not know was deeply connected.

Just the touch of their lips made him feel hot and out of breath. It was hard to tell where he was.

He could not tell if moonlight was pouring down on his closed eyes or if pitch-black darkness was creeping in. As a deep sigh flowed from Ines’ throat, Carson’s body jerked and stopped moving.

Soon, a low, deep laugh flowed through his parted teeth.

Every time he saw Ines sitting by the window in the pouring sunlight, Carson felt like he was seeing a summer day that he would never be able to have.

Ines Swenden resembled a spring day that could not be contained even if one reached out.

The moment he leaned in and held her in his arms, her legs swayed and she crashed into the bed.

When the blood drained from the hand that was tightly holding his shoulder, Carson gently grabbed her hand and made her hug him again.

With a thud, their bodies came together like shadows and fell onto the bed.

“I’m going crazy.”

His words were too sweet. Ines’s chest rose up on its own because she was out of breath. Ines’s body lost its shape and collapsed under the weight of Carson, who was sinking down heavily.

“Because of you... I can’t come to my senses.”

The trembling of their eyes flew in and struck like stars. Even though he knew that Ines was trembling with overwhelming tension, Carson couldn’t stop.

At that moment, Ines reached out and stroked Carson’s cheek. For a moment, his movements stopped as if he had been struck by lightning.

Their eyes met deeply. The eyes that held the same light shone only on each other. That alone seemed to reach the ends of the sky.

“Call my name.”

Was it this heartbreaking to be in contact with the man she had completely taken in?

It was an emotion she had never dared to feel at any moment in her long, breathtaking life.

“Yes?”

“Carson.”

The name came out without hesitation at the single word of entreaty. There was no reason why she couldn’t call him when she wanted to.

“Again.”

“Carson, Carson.”

“Tell me you love me.”

He held Ines between his arms and looked down at her as if he was dominating her, demanding arrogantly. Maybe like a God who already knew the answer, maybe like an Emperor who ruled over the bed, or maybe just like a man who longed for love.

The man with many faces bit Ines’ ear and whispered again.

“Tell me you love me.”

“I love you.”

When she, who had always been by his side but had never been held in his hands, spoke of love for the first time, Carson’s back was scratched coldly with an inexplicable thrill.

Carson stroked Ines’s cheek, which was closed, and pleaded,

“Open your eyes, Ines. You need to remember who you are with now.”

When she opened her closed eyes, Carson felt lost. It felt as if he had been dropped into a large forest without a path.

The moment the dew in the forest sparkled and shone, he had to clench his molars to keep his curses from leaking out. It felt like his whole body was being immersed in hers.

Fluttering her eyelashes, Ines repeated again, even though it wasn’t his order.

“I love you.”

The end of the words were crushed into his mouth again. Even though she had stopped herself, it was painful, and Carson’s heartbeat grew faster. He had been wanting to hear it, and he had been trying to persuade her to answer without thinking, but he couldn’t easily say that he loved her either. Since she had made him so anxious all this time, he wished Ines would just let him go, even for a little while.

For the first time in his life, Carson had narrow-minded thoughts.

On that subject, he steadily pushed his large hand behind her neck and ruffled her hair.

Ines always acted like she was the woman chosen by him. But deep down, she probably already knew. That he could breathe only if Ines chose and allowed it.

However, Carson soon had such thoughts as he watched Ines’s eyes waver with an unknown emotion.

What is this woman’s love for, the one who would go crazy over a single piece of your heart... What on earth are you made of? What are you that you can hold onto and shake my life like this?

The thoughts for a moment dispersed into the rushing sensations again.

Ines turned red like a flower.

“Carson...”

Just calling Carson’s name made her think she was being dragged into an endless abyss. It was so distant and far away, and it was crazy, but she had no intention of escaping.

The whole world turned white and the world spun. She couldn’t tell if she was feeling it now, or if she was just being swept away, or if she was floating.

He was remaking Ines like a God.

“Yes, your Carson is here.”

His lips bit her shoulder, making a low, scratchy sound. Ines nodded her head on its own, with a stinging, painful pain.

You are really here, the person who always felt so far away is now so close to me that I can no longer get close to him.

When she met his affectionate eyes, her heart poured out.

I love you, I love you. 

Her heart poured out the words on its own.

She recalled the moment she first met him. She trembled with the cold that permeated her wet body, and Carson’s eyes warmed her body as if they were the sun.


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