From the beginning. I thought that Millea's complexion was not very good.
However, since the conversation was centered around Eric, I didn't find a good opportunity to ask what was going on.
'Did something happen to Julian?"
When I thought about that, I suddenly got scared.
I kept my thoughts to myself so as not to reveal anything, but Eric looked at me and asked.
"Are you okay, Ma'am?"
"Yes?"
"You seem to be thinking seriously all of a sudden. Did I do something wrong?"
He was a man with a keen eye. I smiled awkwardly.
"No, Sir Eric. I guess I was just thinking about something else. How have you been lately? Are you having nightmares again?"
As Eric's examination began, Millea tactfully stepped aside, saying that she would go out for a bit and that they could talk.
Eric, who had been silently watching Millea leave, smiled and said.
"Then let's get started properly."
"Did you care about Millea?"
"I'm afraid I'll worry my mother unnecessarily. She must have had a hard time because of me lately, and I can't do that anymore."
He was a thoughtful son...
I think I now understand a little why Millea couldn't leave her horrible husband sooner.
'There must have been many reasons why she didn't want to leave his son behind.'
Eric was the only son and heir to the Spencer family.
If Millea had divorced, both parental rights and custody would have reverted to the Count of Spencer, and she would not have been able to see her son.
The heir to a family cannot leave the family. This was the order of the nobles established by law, and there were no exceptions.
'Eric knows that too.'
That his mother couldn't leave because of him.
So, I guess I'll start my story with Millea.
"I hope my mother doesn't worry.. but could you keep what I tell you a secret? If she asks about me, just tell her that I'm getting better."
While he was saying that, the magi attached to Eric's body began to swell and grow in size in sympathy with him. He looked depressed.
"Does Millea appear in your nightmares?"
"...Can you even know something like that?"
"I'm just guessing."
I could guess by watching Magi react when telling the story of Millea.
"Have you suffered from nightmares and Insomnia even before you went to war?"
Eric looked at me as if he was amazed.
"A little bit. It got worse after the war."
He hesitated for a moment, then mustered up his courage and confessed.
"It's no secret that my parents don't get along. My mother is actually a strong person, and she wants people to think she is, but when I was little, I saw her crying in secret after an argument with my father."
It seemed that the unstable family environment had a great psychological impact on him, who was born with a soft heart.
He smiled bitterly.
"My mother, who was as big and strong as a mountain, looked so weak. My heart sank. I think it was from that moment that I started having nightmares."
"I see."
"Do you know sugar dolls? They're made by pressing powdered sugar and when you press on them with just a little bit of force, they crumble into pieces."
"It's often used as cake decoration."
"Yes, that's right. In my dreams, my mother is always a sugar doll. She keeps breaking down. It's a nightmare that starts with my mother, but sometimes it's not my mother. People I know, people I've given my affection to, comrades keep breaking down in my dreams."
Eric laughed awkwardly.
"Of course, I know that people don't really break like that."
"I understand. I understand what you mean."
I didn't think Eric looked like Millea. but after hearing their story, I realized they were exactly like each other.
It's about not showing weakness on the outside and suffering alone in a place where no one can see it.
"I don't know if this will be of any help, but when people cry, the bad energy inside them comes out."
"Is that so?"
I had seen magi emerge from a crying person's tears and disappear.
It was the same for me, who had burst into tears in the carriage a while ago.
That day, the magi that had been buried at my parents' house disappeared in tears before it could purify itself.
"At that time, Millea would have shed tears and shake off the bad energy. A person who sheds tears is a stronger person than one who cannot even shed tears."
Eric's eyes wavered as he looked at her.
"That makes me feel a little bit relieved."
He looked at me, who was confused, and suddenly smiled bashfully.
It was laughter that came from a person whose heart had become light. A laughter that came out without even realizing it.
I looked at Eric like that and smiled along with him.
Magi can be resolved with the ability to purify, but it is not possible to resolve the mind that summons the magi.
There were times when things like that could be recovered by listening to the other person's story.
"Okay, now I will cleanse you of the bad energy."
Eric surrendered himself to me.
I placed a hand gently on Eric's shoulder.
A faint light came from my hand and removed the magi attached to Eric.
The magic that spread like fog was purified as soon as it touched the light, but the clumped magic was compressed into a small ball in my hand.
'It's small this time.'
I shoved the compressed Magi into the shadows, the size of a finger food.
Then, for a moment, I looked at my shadow with a strange gaze.
'The magic lump I put in last time... has disappeared.'
It was something that had not been purified yet and had been put off, but no matter how much I looked, it wasn't there.
Instead, there was something strange and alien in the shadows
'Is this a mistake?'
Eric's voice broke my thoughts as I tilted my head.
"It feels refreshing! It was the same last time. I was half out of it, so I didn't even realize that Madam had come and gone. I just thought it was because I had had a good night's sleep after a long time. But now that I feel the same way, I guess it was because of Madam's power back then."
Eric smiled brightly and clenched his fists.
He was a person with a really pretty smile.
'Like a puppy.'
I wondered if it was okay to think that way about a grown man, but Eric had a cute side.
"It feels like the fog has cleared from my head and my vision has cleared up. I'm suddenly excited."
"... Is that so?"
I paused.
It was after I entered the convent In my last life that I was able to handle magi to this extent.
Until then, I was only capable of slightly purifying the magic that spread like fog, so it didn't have a great effect on anyone.
The only person who truly demonstrated their abilities in the convent was Millea, who shared a room with me. but Millea was not a person who was greatly influenced by magi.
No matter how much magic clung to her body, she did not budge.
So, no one ever told me about these feelings.
Except for one person, Julian.
"I feel strange when I'm with you."
"Is it bad?"
"On the contrary, I feel an ecstatic feeling I've never felt before. Why is that?"
He said he always felt a unique energy from me, and he reacted sensitively to it.
When we first met, he was annoyed and said he felt strangely excited, but after he got used to It, he said he kept thinking about it when I wasn't there.
"Mrs. Winston? Are you all right?"
"Oh, did I make a serious face again?"
"Here."
Eric looked at me blankly.
"A sad expression."
"...Was it like that?"
"I thought you were crying."
I blushed and denied it as if I had been caught keeping a secret.
"That's not true. I was just glad that the purification worked."
Pale brown eyes with a warm glow stared at me.
"Madam said that a person who sheds tears is stronger than a person who cannot even shed tears."
"..."
Eric smiled thoughtfully as I looked down in confusion.
"I just thought that was impressive. I thought I was the one who made you cry, but I'm glad I was wrong."
He pretended not to notice my sorrow.
***
After finishing his conversation with Bridget, Eric came out of the tea room to call Millea.
As soon as he closed the door, Eric put his hand on his chest and took a long breath.
'I didn't know she was such a young woman.'
He was surprised, even though he didn't show it. He was also nervous.
'She's beautiful."
Her elegant smile and deep eyes kept catching his attention.
He liked the soft, ear-tingling tone of voice and the serious, yet comfortable conversation.
No man would not tremble in front of such a woman.
'Viscount Winston... I don't know who he is, but I envy him.'
What could be happier than having such a person as a wife?
Eric, who had no idea about the current social scene, smiled regretfully and went out to look for Millea, who was nearby.
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Oh Eric
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