“Then, you must have seen me for the first time that day. Oh, my goodness.”
“...”
Noevian’s bloodshot eyes looked even more painful as the tears dried up.
“...I couldn’t help but love you.”
“I told you I didn’t want to hear about your love.”
Adrienne was also experiencing a headache that felt like her eyeballs were going to fall out because she had no more tears to shed.
“I don’t know when it started. I wanted you. I just... Just like water flowing down... When night comes, I can’t help but fall for you like the sun rising again.”
Adrienne cursed Noevian, who trembled all over and relieved her wounds again.
“The more I loved you. I wanted to have you.”
One of Noevian’s legs slowly bent. Tears fell to the cold floor.
“But I can’t have you. You’re mine... You’re not mine.”
“Stop.”
The man finally knelt down on both knees and began to appeal.
“The Crown Prince, who claims to be my master, noticed my feelings and always made me wander outside. He always sent me to where he had to go. I couldn’t even return to the capital because I was grateful that he didn’t approach you separately. And on the rare days when I did come back...”
I whispered, clenching my trembling fists.
“I told you not to show up to me again without my mother’s necklace.”
No matter how plausible the excuses and circumstances were, the truth that he had deceived and deceived me would not change. So his excuse, shamelessly standing in front of me, asking me to love him again, only made me angry.
“If you want to keep seeing me like that...”
His dark blue eyes, which had been shining with a faint light, immediately turned into a strange color. They were eyes reminiscent of a dog looking at its owner preparing to throw a discus.
It was clear that he had caught a glimmer of hope in the condition that said, “If you want to keep seeing me,” and I could see his sweaty throat quivering loudly.
“Bring it. No, take it away.”
The corners of my mouth twitched, not knowing whether I was laughing or crying. Before I knew it, Noevian, who had been sitting on his knees as if possessed, twitched his legs as if he would jump out at any moment.
“From your master. Take my mother’s necklace away from him, you piece of shit.”
I gave the order through gritted teeth.
From my twisted eyes, large tears fell down with anger.
Noevian immediately ran towards his master, who was sprawled out.
“...”
“It wasn’t just a small forest that only An and I knew, it was actually a forest that you knew too.”
“I didn’t know. The Crown Prince told me about it, I didn’t know.”
Noevian answered hastily. The Crown Prince, who had been listening to our story with a cheerful face, laughed.
I thought back to that time.
The sound of my heartbeat rang clearly in my ears the moment I followed An into the small forest.
I saw his black hair breaking in the moonlight as I thought of the letters that had boasted that I could look forward to his grown-up self.
And indeed, An, who took off his mask and raised the corners of his mouth, looked exactly as I had imagined.
Long black hair like the night sky, hidden deep blue eyes. Everything had captured my heart.
'Noevian Trovica.'
I was so busy taking care of my own body that I didn't really know the name of Noevian Trovica.
'The name An... was the 'An' of Noevian.'
“I didn’t know. The Crown Prince told me about it, I didn’t know.”
Noevian answered hastily. The Crown Prince, who had been listening to our story with a cheerful face, laughed.
I thought back to that time.
The sound of my heartbeat rang clearly in my ears the moment I followed An into the small forest.
I saw his black hair breaking in the moonlight as I thought of the letters that had boasted that I could look forward to his grown-up self.
And indeed, An, who took off his mask and raised the corners of his mouth, looked exactly as I had imagined.
Long black hair like the night sky, hidden deep blue eyes. Everything had captured my heart.
'Noevian Trovica.'
I was so busy taking care of my own body that I didn't really know the name of Noevian Trovica.
'The name An... was the 'An' of Noevian.'
'It's so amazing that you are exactly like the An I've always dreamed of and imagined.'
I just liked An.
I interpreted the Royal Academy system, which had no concept of graduation, and the Mana Stone which changed hair and eye color as I liked.
When I was young, naive, and foolish, I simply opened my heart and loved Noevian, dreaming that I could achieve my first love.
Not knowing that that was the beginning of my misfortune.
"Please, please don't cry. Adrienne. I have more to say. You need to know how much, how much I love you."
Noevian continued speaking as if he could never say it again if not today.
The couple of the century.
People called them that.
It was rumored abroad that the Iron-Blooded Chancellor, Grand Duke Noevian Trovica, had fallen in love with Princess Piretta at first sight.
What a romantic rumor!
It was easy to fool such an innocent, young lady.
Adrienne, who had accepted him without any hesitation, blinked her big eyes in confusion at the news of the proposal and then became genuinely happy.
And whenever Adrienne would be happy like that whenever they met, Noevian's heart would feel a little strange.
It wasn't love at first sight.
Noevian Trovica wasn't that kind of man.
But when he first took off his mask in that 'small forest' and met the woman named Adrienne Piretta, he felt a slight shiver down his spine. He didn't know why.
The woman's innocent and blind eyes made him feel strange.
It was the first time he had received such kind, human affection-filled eyes from someone.
And then on the long-awaited wedding day.
Noevian realized that he was also smiling secretly when he saw Adrienne’s expression as she appeared in her pure white wedding dress. He even thought that a marriage without love was not necessarily a bad thing.
On the first night, he had made her drink alcohol so that she would not have sex with him. He thought that since she was weak, she would fall asleep quickly if she drank alcohol.
However, unlike her weak body, she was quite a drinker.
His heart raced strangely when he saw her smiling with her eyes slowly open and her corners slightly closed.
Without any guard, in her disheveled slip, Adrienne covered her mouth and laughed, talking about memories of ‘us’ that he did not know about.
“So, do you remember that? An?”
“...That name ‘An’.”
“Yes?”
“It’s such an old nickname, I wish you would change it.”
Noevian regretted it as soon as he said it.
His face, which had been smiling pleasantly, had stiffened slightly and tilted its head. He fiddled with his empty glass for no reason and closed his mouth. Somehow, his throat had been burning since a while ago.
“Hmm.”
Adrienne, who seemed to be pondering for a moment, soon smiled brightly and jumped up from her seat, hugging Noevian tightly.
He held his breath for a moment and moved his body away so that his face wouldn’t touch her softly. However, Adrienne laughed and hugged him tighter the more he did.
“Then how about ‘Noah’?”
“...Hmm?”
Adrienne naturally wrapped her arms around his neck and sat on his lap.
Oh, my goodness. This fragile Princess, not even knowing what she was wearing, leaned against his shoulder and rubbed her cheek as she whispered.
“Noah. I’ll call you a new pretty nickname.”
Adrienne slowly raised her head and met his eyes.
“Noah.”
Her jewel-like eyes, almost pale blue-green, swayed gently.
“My beloved Noah. My ocean. My everything.”
Noevian had never seen such perfect, sweet, and loving gazes in his life.
“From now on, I’ll call you Noah. Don’t tell anyone. I’ll be the only one calling you that.”
Ah.
What on earth is a nickname?
What are the emotions that aren’t mine, whispered by someone who isn’t mine?
“I love you, Noah.”
Where in the middle of his heart did it feel like it was collapsing?
“The woman who blindly waited for me, who couldn’t be the master of anything... The woman who truly depended on me, who had to live her whole life as someone else’s caretaker...”
I just liked An.
I interpreted the Royal Academy system, which had no concept of graduation, and the Mana Stone which changed hair and eye color as I liked.
When I was young, naive, and foolish, I simply opened my heart and loved Noevian, dreaming that I could achieve my first love.
Not knowing that that was the beginning of my misfortune.
"Please, please don't cry. Adrienne. I have more to say. You need to know how much, how much I love you."
Noevian continued speaking as if he could never say it again if not today.
***
The couple of the century.
People called them that.
It was rumored abroad that the Iron-Blooded Chancellor, Grand Duke Noevian Trovica, had fallen in love with Princess Piretta at first sight.
What a romantic rumor!
It was easy to fool such an innocent, young lady.
Adrienne, who had accepted him without any hesitation, blinked her big eyes in confusion at the news of the proposal and then became genuinely happy.
And whenever Adrienne would be happy like that whenever they met, Noevian's heart would feel a little strange.
It wasn't love at first sight.
Noevian Trovica wasn't that kind of man.
But when he first took off his mask in that 'small forest' and met the woman named Adrienne Piretta, he felt a slight shiver down his spine. He didn't know why.
The woman's innocent and blind eyes made him feel strange.
It was the first time he had received such kind, human affection-filled eyes from someone.
And then on the long-awaited wedding day.
Noevian realized that he was also smiling secretly when he saw Adrienne’s expression as she appeared in her pure white wedding dress. He even thought that a marriage without love was not necessarily a bad thing.
On the first night, he had made her drink alcohol so that she would not have sex with him. He thought that since she was weak, she would fall asleep quickly if she drank alcohol.
However, unlike her weak body, she was quite a drinker.
His heart raced strangely when he saw her smiling with her eyes slowly open and her corners slightly closed.
Without any guard, in her disheveled slip, Adrienne covered her mouth and laughed, talking about memories of ‘us’ that he did not know about.
“So, do you remember that? An?”
“...That name ‘An’.”
“Yes?”
“It’s such an old nickname, I wish you would change it.”
Noevian regretted it as soon as he said it.
His face, which had been smiling pleasantly, had stiffened slightly and tilted its head. He fiddled with his empty glass for no reason and closed his mouth. Somehow, his throat had been burning since a while ago.
“Hmm.”
Adrienne, who seemed to be pondering for a moment, soon smiled brightly and jumped up from her seat, hugging Noevian tightly.
He held his breath for a moment and moved his body away so that his face wouldn’t touch her softly. However, Adrienne laughed and hugged him tighter the more he did.
“Then how about ‘Noah’?”
“...Hmm?”
Adrienne naturally wrapped her arms around his neck and sat on his lap.
Oh, my goodness. This fragile Princess, not even knowing what she was wearing, leaned against his shoulder and rubbed her cheek as she whispered.
“Noah. I’ll call you a new pretty nickname.”
Adrienne slowly raised her head and met his eyes.
“Noah.”
Her jewel-like eyes, almost pale blue-green, swayed gently.
“My beloved Noah. My ocean. My everything.”
Noevian had never seen such perfect, sweet, and loving gazes in his life.
“From now on, I’ll call you Noah. Don’t tell anyone. I’ll be the only one calling you that.”
Ah.
What on earth is a nickname?
What are the emotions that aren’t mine, whispered by someone who isn’t mine?
“I love you, Noah.”
Where in the middle of his heart did it feel like it was collapsing?
***
“The woman who blindly waited for me, who couldn’t be the master of anything... The woman who truly depended on me, who had to live her whole life as someone else’s caretaker...”
Noevian’s bloodshot eyes looked even more painful as the tears dried up.
“...I couldn’t help but love you.”
“I told you I didn’t want to hear about your love.”
Adrienne was also experiencing a headache that felt like her eyeballs were going to fall out because she had no more tears to shed.
“I don’t know when it started. I wanted you. I just... Just like water flowing down... When night comes, I can’t help but fall for you like the sun rising again.”
Adrienne cursed Noevian, who trembled all over and relieved her wounds again.
“The more I loved you. I wanted to have you.”
One of Noevian’s legs slowly bent. Tears fell to the cold floor.
“But I can’t have you. You’re mine... You’re not mine.”
“Stop.”
The man finally knelt down on both knees and began to appeal.
“The Crown Prince, who claims to be my master, noticed my feelings and always made me wander outside. He always sent me to where he had to go. I couldn’t even return to the capital because I was grateful that he didn’t approach you separately. And on the rare days when I did come back...”
His two hands, which had become bruised from a fight, scraped the floor desperately.
“I wanted to hold you. Love you. I wanted to have you. Holding you in my arms, spending the night with my eyes wide open... You, who are physically Bardenaldo and mentally Rhodnes... I was wondering how you could become mine.”
“Stop!”
“But there was no such method anywhere! Your health worsened, worsened... Every time, every time, the doctor shook his head, I despaired endlessly, but I held onto my last hope that Bardenaldo, even though he didn’t know you were alive, wouldn’t take you away from me when you were dead.”
Noevian didn’t stop talking.
“My uncle’s face flushed.”
“...”
Noevian, who had been making a slack expression without realizing it, immediately hardened his face.
He was reminded of his wife who had been pouting, asking if he should enter the palace as soon as he arrived in the capital.
The voice flowed lightly as if asking after her well-being, but Noevian immediately straightened his posture and faced Bardenaldo.
“How is the Grand Duchess's health?”
The Crown Prince had never asked about Adrienne since their marriage. He seemed to be trapped by the icy Doris, but the Crown Prince always laughed at Doris.
Calling her a ‘stupid, greedy, easy-to-manage woman.’
The words of the Crown Prince, who always talked about work, instantly pulled Noevian out of his sweet dream of Adrienne and into reality.
“...It’s not very good.”
“I heard you’re going to do it today or tomorrow?”
He felt like hitting Bardenaldo, who was talking like it was someone else’s business with a calm face. Noevian barely managed to suppress his emotions, but Bardenaldo wasn’t the one to miss it.
“Uncle. It’s good to indulge in the sweet dreams of newlyweds, but as long as I’m the master of Princess Piretta, I have absolutely no intention of yielding.”
If it were Noevian just a year ago, he would have nodded his head indifferently. After all, everything that was given to him was no different from a dog on a leash receiving a bone every hour.
It wasn’t given even if it was given.
It was like a dog bone that was taken away when the owner took it away and then given back when he wagged its tail because it was hungry.
Things that could never be obtained if the owner didn’t come back and didn’t love him.
He had never felt his situation as deeply as it did today, as it did now.
Ah.
'I wasted my life.'
For the first time, Noevian regretted his choice.
When he had the chance, he should have killed the Emperor first. He should have killed them all and made it so that no one could say such things to him, and no one could take Adrienne away.
But as always, the dog tamed by its master tucked its tail and lowered its head, growling in hunger.
"Even if Adrienne Piretta dies, she will not be buried in the graveyard of the Grand Duchy of Trovica... but by my side. Do you understand?"
Because he realized at every moment that he could not hold on to it if his master took it away, demanding that even the bones be rotten.
“So? So you handed my body over to your great master?”
I asked in disbelief.
Unable to raise his head, Noevian continued to sob and shook his head as if he couldn’t hear me.
“My body and my mother’s necklace. You handed everything over to that monster like that? Even though you loved me?”
“That necklace...!”
The voice burst out in agitated tones.
Noevian, whose face was soaked through, shuddered and pointed to my dead body.
“That necklace is the key to that coffin. Bardenaldo knows that. I had no choice but to hand it over.”
Ha.
It really is so many things.
My mind was so dizzy that I lifted my head for a moment.
I felt an urge to wish that the unrealistically beautiful chandelier would fall and crush my body.
“I can’t even have your body.”
The voice he spat out was filled with anger at his situation and contempt for himself.
“Adrienne, whom I could never have. Adrienne, whom I will never be able to have...”
Thump. Thump.
“I wanted to hold you. Love you. I wanted to have you. Holding you in my arms, spending the night with my eyes wide open... You, who are physically Bardenaldo and mentally Rhodnes... I was wondering how you could become mine.”
“Stop!”
“But there was no such method anywhere! Your health worsened, worsened... Every time, every time, the doctor shook his head, I despaired endlessly, but I held onto my last hope that Bardenaldo, even though he didn’t know you were alive, wouldn’t take you away from me when you were dead.”
Noevian didn’t stop talking.
***
“My uncle’s face flushed.”
“...”
Noevian, who had been making a slack expression without realizing it, immediately hardened his face.
He was reminded of his wife who had been pouting, asking if he should enter the palace as soon as he arrived in the capital.
The voice flowed lightly as if asking after her well-being, but Noevian immediately straightened his posture and faced Bardenaldo.
“How is the Grand Duchess's health?”
The Crown Prince had never asked about Adrienne since their marriage. He seemed to be trapped by the icy Doris, but the Crown Prince always laughed at Doris.
Calling her a ‘stupid, greedy, easy-to-manage woman.’
The words of the Crown Prince, who always talked about work, instantly pulled Noevian out of his sweet dream of Adrienne and into reality.
“...It’s not very good.”
“I heard you’re going to do it today or tomorrow?”
He felt like hitting Bardenaldo, who was talking like it was someone else’s business with a calm face. Noevian barely managed to suppress his emotions, but Bardenaldo wasn’t the one to miss it.
“Uncle. It’s good to indulge in the sweet dreams of newlyweds, but as long as I’m the master of Princess Piretta, I have absolutely no intention of yielding.”
If it were Noevian just a year ago, he would have nodded his head indifferently. After all, everything that was given to him was no different from a dog on a leash receiving a bone every hour.
It wasn’t given even if it was given.
It was like a dog bone that was taken away when the owner took it away and then given back when he wagged its tail because it was hungry.
Things that could never be obtained if the owner didn’t come back and didn’t love him.
He had never felt his situation as deeply as it did today, as it did now.
Ah.
'I wasted my life.'
For the first time, Noevian regretted his choice.
When he had the chance, he should have killed the Emperor first. He should have killed them all and made it so that no one could say such things to him, and no one could take Adrienne away.
But as always, the dog tamed by its master tucked its tail and lowered its head, growling in hunger.
"Even if Adrienne Piretta dies, she will not be buried in the graveyard of the Grand Duchy of Trovica... but by my side. Do you understand?"
Because he realized at every moment that he could not hold on to it if his master took it away, demanding that even the bones be rotten.
***
“So? So you handed my body over to your great master?”
I asked in disbelief.
Unable to raise his head, Noevian continued to sob and shook his head as if he couldn’t hear me.
“My body and my mother’s necklace. You handed everything over to that monster like that? Even though you loved me?”
“That necklace...!”
The voice burst out in agitated tones.
Noevian, whose face was soaked through, shuddered and pointed to my dead body.
“That necklace is the key to that coffin. Bardenaldo knows that. I had no choice but to hand it over.”
Ha.
It really is so many things.
My mind was so dizzy that I lifted my head for a moment.
I felt an urge to wish that the unrealistically beautiful chandelier would fall and crush my body.
“I can’t even have your body.”
The voice he spat out was filled with anger at his situation and contempt for himself.
“Adrienne, whom I could never have. Adrienne, whom I will never be able to have...”
Thump. Thump.
The sound of a crash shook the floor.
Noevian was still kneeling, hitting his head on the floor.
“I can’t bury you, the first person I’ve ever wanted to have, even in my family’s graveyard...!”
Noevian’s forehead cracked with a loud bang as he shouted softly.
Blood flowed down his forehead that had been fine.
Noevian’s eyes were no longer normal. When I saw his eyes that were crazy, unlike the Crown Prince’s, I stumbled for a moment, unable to hold on while still in my right mind.
Noevian opened his eyes wide and tried to get up right away.
“No.”
But I wouldn’t allow it.
“...Don’t you remember?”
Noevian was still kneeling, hitting his head on the floor.
“I can’t bury you, the first person I’ve ever wanted to have, even in my family’s graveyard...!”
Noevian’s forehead cracked with a loud bang as he shouted softly.
Blood flowed down his forehead that had been fine.
Noevian’s eyes were no longer normal. When I saw his eyes that were crazy, unlike the Crown Prince’s, I stumbled for a moment, unable to hold on while still in my right mind.
Noevian opened his eyes wide and tried to get up right away.
“No.”
But I wouldn’t allow it.
“...Don’t you remember?”
I whispered, clenching my trembling fists.
“I told you not to show up to me again without my mother’s necklace.”
No matter how plausible the excuses and circumstances were, the truth that he had deceived and deceived me would not change. So his excuse, shamelessly standing in front of me, asking me to love him again, only made me angry.
“If you want to keep seeing me like that...”
His dark blue eyes, which had been shining with a faint light, immediately turned into a strange color. They were eyes reminiscent of a dog looking at its owner preparing to throw a discus.
It was clear that he had caught a glimmer of hope in the condition that said, “If you want to keep seeing me,” and I could see his sweaty throat quivering loudly.
“Bring it. No, take it away.”
The corners of my mouth twitched, not knowing whether I was laughing or crying. Before I knew it, Noevian, who had been sitting on his knees as if possessed, twitched his legs as if he would jump out at any moment.
“From your master. Take my mother’s necklace away from him, you piece of shit.”
I gave the order through gritted teeth.
From my twisted eyes, large tears fell down with anger.
Noevian immediately ran towards his master, who was sprawled out.
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