All the romantic words he had prepared disappeared, his brain became a blank slate, and his tongue became numb and dumb.
He had never been so embarrassed in front of anyone in his life.
A pretty, very small girl.
He couldn't even remember that he was a transcendent being or that the child was a purifier. His mouth was dry and his breathing was suffocating.
Blue-green eyes reminiscent of the ocean. Platinum blonde hair like butterfly wings.
Then his eyes met with that girl's.
Thud.
He had never been so embarrassed in front of anyone in his life.
A pretty, very small girl.
He couldn't even remember that he was a transcendent being or that the child was a purifier. His mouth was dry and his breathing was suffocating.
Blue-green eyes reminiscent of the ocean. Platinum blonde hair like butterfly wings.
Then his eyes met with that girl's.
Thud.
John's heart sank. The girl's eyes were filled with fear.
John had known the word 'purification' for 14 years, but it was only when he looked into Odette's eyes that he realized for the first time that 'purification' was not romantic, but violent.
He thought that receiving skinship from such a small and timid girl was nothing but exploitation.
But what should I do? I feel like you're so pretty.
I want to touch you. Desire-.
John reached out his hand without realizing it. Odette backed away, her shoulders hunched as if she was scared.
At that moment, the girl may have had an intuition that John would be a predator who would exploit her forever.
The fact that John is looking at Odette not as a transcendent being, but with human desires.
He pretends to be a man made of chivalry, but he is willing to become ugly to reach Odette.
John went to see the Emperor that day. In the name of the imperial family, he burdened the girl with many things. She liked the sea that reminded him of the blue-green sea, so he decided to join the navy. He endured even when he needed purification, and only on days when he could not bear it at all, he asked for purification.
So that the girl could no longer reject him. Purification, himself, his love. Every time John was rejected, it seemed like he was slowly turning into a monster.
“I have no intention of purifying anything. What does it matter to me whether the Transcendent being dies or not?”
“Lady Odette. I know your pain and confusion. You did not choose to awaken yourself. But for the sake of the people of the empire-.”
“No, no. I can’t do this anymore. Father! Please take me away.”
When he finally mentioned the imperial people, he felt like vomiting on himself.
Wanting to be purified for the sake of the people of the empire? How abominable. John has never once thought of the people of the empire in front of that girl.
It was a pitiful plea. Still, all he got in return was a firm rejection.
It felt distant.
'Do you think I wanted that? I dreamed of the Purifier. I didn't dream of you, Odette.'
Reject. Reject. Reject. Reject. Reject. Reject.
The boy became disappointed, despaired, and eventually gave up on the girl. He came to think of her as a helpless, horrible, and detestable human being.
Otherwise, he couldn't stand it. He couldn't stand to cling so desperately to an affection that he would never be able to get back.
It was you who turned me into a monster.
I wouldn't like a girl who would always see me as a monster. How long must I suffer like this because of a girl who hates me so much that she won't purify me even when I die?
That doesn't mean John couldn't feel anything towards Odette.
So John decided to hate Odette. He would quickly fall in love with any woman who did not resemble Odette in the slightest.
Yeah. His ideal type would be the complete opposite of Odette.
He likes someone simple, plain, and not aristocratic.
But in contrast to when they first met, Odette was wearing a simple white dress... the one she was wearing now.
“Everyone, please stand up and bow down.”
At the chief steward's shout, Odette lifted her head and lowered her skirt, which she had been holding lightly. There was an 18-year-old Odette, the complete opposite of the 15-year-old Odette.
The 18-year-old Odette was smiling at him innocently.
Suddenly, John felt as if even breathing or blinking had become unfamiliar.
He feels like he's in a swamp.
After struggling and swimming all this way, did I end up back where I started?
“Everyone, please stand up and bow down.”
Odette raised her head at the chief's shout and met John's eyes. For some reason, his blue eyes seemed to be staring at her intently, unlike usual.
It was a gaze that gave off a strange tenacity. It was enough to make Odette wonder, 'Did I make a mistake when I just greeted you?'
'Hmm. Why are you staring at me like that? Should I laugh?'
Odette smiled politely, but he quickly turned his head in the opposite direction as if avoiding her.
'Are you avoiding me? Because you feel guilty... I don't think so.'
Among the male protagonists, John was the best at controlling his emotions.
Odette must have made up her mind and aroused pity that night, so his guilt must have been clearly written on his face...
Even now, he wouldn't act that childishly because of those feelings.
Aren't you a master at refining, polishing, and reflecting on your own emotions?
'I don't know why, but... I think it would be better to avoid it next time. I decided to wear it plainly and to my taste, so please take a look at my dress.'
Today, her target for reducing her disgust was John. Odette wishes he would just watch it and lower his disgust level...
Odette looked at John with a sad heart, but it was no use. He just stared in the opposite direction with a complicated expression.
The Emperor personally recited in jade tones how great a transcendent being the Crown Prince was and what accomplishments the Crown Prince had.
Odette swallowed a sigh.
'Did I try too hard to target the male protagonist? Well, I guess the idea that the level of disgust will easily decrease just because I'm wearing clothes that he likes is a cliché that only works on female protagonists?'
She was sorry but had no choice but to give up.
John never stayed long at official functions. He would probably leave as soon as the Emperor's speech was over, just as he usually did, showing his face and then leaving in a hurry.
'John's complicated expression is probably because his father is using him for political purposes.'
He is an Emperor who usually keeps his son in check, but uses John to save face in situations like this.
Odette thought so and sympathized with John's bitterness.
'You too must have had a hard time because you had a bad father.'
The Emperor's speech finally ended. It was a moment of applause among the guests.
Someone tapped Odette on the shoulder.
“Excuse me... Nice to meet you?”
When she turned her head, she saw a soldier talking to her in a gruff manner.
“...?”
He was a dark-skinned man of about the same height as me. His face was shaped like a large potato.
'Who is this?'
Odette felt internally offended.
Not only was it impolite for a subordinate to speak to someone without first being introduced, but it was also extremely rude for a soldier to grab a lady by the shoulder and speak to her.
'I see you're wearing a military uniform, so I guess you're attending as a decorated soldier.'
Even soldiers who were not nobles but had received decorations sometimes received invitations to balls. Perhaps this kid came as one of those people...
“Who are you to be talking to me?”
“Oh, I’m sorry for the late introduction, Lady Odette. This is Corporal Marco. I work under your father.”
A tone of speech that is so irritating that it makes her frown.
And on top of that, he had a mouth that was openly mocking.
'When did you see me? You keep calling my name... Wait, Corporal Marco?'
Odette blinked and laughed inwardly.
'That's funny. I didn't expect to meet this kid here.'
Corporal Marco was her father's pawn. He was the son of a bitch who was the warden of the Fenrir camp.
He was the human who beat Luca and Lara to death, but he was also the human who diligently injected Odette's name into them.
'I already knew the name Marco, but there were so many soldiers with the same name that I couldn't find a way to find him. It was a shame, but I never thought he'd come rolling in on his own.'
I met well.
John had known the word 'purification' for 14 years, but it was only when he looked into Odette's eyes that he realized for the first time that 'purification' was not romantic, but violent.
He thought that receiving skinship from such a small and timid girl was nothing but exploitation.
But what should I do? I feel like you're so pretty.
I want to touch you. Desire-.
John reached out his hand without realizing it. Odette backed away, her shoulders hunched as if she was scared.
At that moment, the girl may have had an intuition that John would be a predator who would exploit her forever.
The fact that John is looking at Odette not as a transcendent being, but with human desires.
He pretends to be a man made of chivalry, but he is willing to become ugly to reach Odette.
John went to see the Emperor that day. In the name of the imperial family, he burdened the girl with many things. She liked the sea that reminded him of the blue-green sea, so he decided to join the navy. He endured even when he needed purification, and only on days when he could not bear it at all, he asked for purification.
So that the girl could no longer reject him. Purification, himself, his love. Every time John was rejected, it seemed like he was slowly turning into a monster.
“I have no intention of purifying anything. What does it matter to me whether the Transcendent being dies or not?”
“Lady Odette. I know your pain and confusion. You did not choose to awaken yourself. But for the sake of the people of the empire-.”
“No, no. I can’t do this anymore. Father! Please take me away.”
When he finally mentioned the imperial people, he felt like vomiting on himself.
Wanting to be purified for the sake of the people of the empire? How abominable. John has never once thought of the people of the empire in front of that girl.
It was a pitiful plea. Still, all he got in return was a firm rejection.
It felt distant.
'Do you think I wanted that? I dreamed of the Purifier. I didn't dream of you, Odette.'
Reject. Reject. Reject. Reject. Reject. Reject.
The boy became disappointed, despaired, and eventually gave up on the girl. He came to think of her as a helpless, horrible, and detestable human being.
Otherwise, he couldn't stand it. He couldn't stand to cling so desperately to an affection that he would never be able to get back.
It was you who turned me into a monster.
I wouldn't like a girl who would always see me as a monster. How long must I suffer like this because of a girl who hates me so much that she won't purify me even when I die?
That doesn't mean John couldn't feel anything towards Odette.
So John decided to hate Odette. He would quickly fall in love with any woman who did not resemble Odette in the slightest.
Yeah. His ideal type would be the complete opposite of Odette.
He likes someone simple, plain, and not aristocratic.
But in contrast to when they first met, Odette was wearing a simple white dress... the one she was wearing now.
“Everyone, please stand up and bow down.”
At the chief steward's shout, Odette lifted her head and lowered her skirt, which she had been holding lightly. There was an 18-year-old Odette, the complete opposite of the 15-year-old Odette.
The 18-year-old Odette was smiling at him innocently.
Suddenly, John felt as if even breathing or blinking had become unfamiliar.
He feels like he's in a swamp.
After struggling and swimming all this way, did I end up back where I started?
***
“Everyone, please stand up and bow down.”
Odette raised her head at the chief's shout and met John's eyes. For some reason, his blue eyes seemed to be staring at her intently, unlike usual.
It was a gaze that gave off a strange tenacity. It was enough to make Odette wonder, 'Did I make a mistake when I just greeted you?'
'Hmm. Why are you staring at me like that? Should I laugh?'
Odette smiled politely, but he quickly turned his head in the opposite direction as if avoiding her.
'Are you avoiding me? Because you feel guilty... I don't think so.'
Among the male protagonists, John was the best at controlling his emotions.
Odette must have made up her mind and aroused pity that night, so his guilt must have been clearly written on his face...
Even now, he wouldn't act that childishly because of those feelings.
Aren't you a master at refining, polishing, and reflecting on your own emotions?
'I don't know why, but... I think it would be better to avoid it next time. I decided to wear it plainly and to my taste, so please take a look at my dress.'
Today, her target for reducing her disgust was John. Odette wishes he would just watch it and lower his disgust level...
Odette looked at John with a sad heart, but it was no use. He just stared in the opposite direction with a complicated expression.
The Emperor personally recited in jade tones how great a transcendent being the Crown Prince was and what accomplishments the Crown Prince had.
Odette swallowed a sigh.
'Did I try too hard to target the male protagonist? Well, I guess the idea that the level of disgust will easily decrease just because I'm wearing clothes that he likes is a cliché that only works on female protagonists?'
She was sorry but had no choice but to give up.
John never stayed long at official functions. He would probably leave as soon as the Emperor's speech was over, just as he usually did, showing his face and then leaving in a hurry.
'John's complicated expression is probably because his father is using him for political purposes.'
He is an Emperor who usually keeps his son in check, but uses John to save face in situations like this.
Odette thought so and sympathized with John's bitterness.
'You too must have had a hard time because you had a bad father.'
***
The Emperor's speech finally ended. It was a moment of applause among the guests.
Someone tapped Odette on the shoulder.
“Excuse me... Nice to meet you?”
When she turned her head, she saw a soldier talking to her in a gruff manner.
“...?”
He was a dark-skinned man of about the same height as me. His face was shaped like a large potato.
'Who is this?'
Odette felt internally offended.
Not only was it impolite for a subordinate to speak to someone without first being introduced, but it was also extremely rude for a soldier to grab a lady by the shoulder and speak to her.
'I see you're wearing a military uniform, so I guess you're attending as a decorated soldier.'
Even soldiers who were not nobles but had received decorations sometimes received invitations to balls. Perhaps this kid came as one of those people...
“Who are you to be talking to me?”
“Oh, I’m sorry for the late introduction, Lady Odette. This is Corporal Marco. I work under your father.”
A tone of speech that is so irritating that it makes her frown.
And on top of that, he had a mouth that was openly mocking.
'When did you see me? You keep calling my name... Wait, Corporal Marco?'
Odette blinked and laughed inwardly.
'That's funny. I didn't expect to meet this kid here.'
Corporal Marco was her father's pawn. He was the son of a bitch who was the warden of the Fenrir camp.
He was the human who beat Luca and Lara to death, but he was also the human who diligently injected Odette's name into them.
'I already knew the name Marco, but there were so many soldiers with the same name that I couldn't find a way to find him. It was a shame, but I never thought he'd come rolling in on his own.'
I met well.
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