What kind of person am I to him that he always says this to me?
“That’s how it was handled.”
Doris, who was looking at the Crown Prince's gloomy face, covered the corner of her mouth with the teacup she had raised. If she hadn't bit her tongue, she would have laughed so hard that the Crown Princess Palace would leave. According to what Viscountess Giuseppe had told her, the reputation of Noevian Trovica had fallen to the ground. It was an absurd scandal that a strategist had kidnapped and murdered the Emperor's mistress.
“I will be faithful to my wife. For the sake of our future, please...”
“I understand what you mean, Your Highness.”
Doris, too, would rather let it slide than provoke the Duke of Castagna and make a fuss. The Grand Duke was no fool, and how could he send monsters or rebels from the vast west to Castagna’s direct territory?
“If you feel better after clearing up all your doubts about my brother, I will do everything I can to help you.”
Don't run away. Don't abandon me. Please, don't abandon me.
Don't run away. Don't abandon me. Please, don't abandon me.
He, who had confirmed each other's existence over and over again, was always in a hurry to plead with me like this. That broke my heart without mercy. The fact that Rhodnes was in this bedroom where I was dying was like a mirage. For a moment, I didn't know what to say, so I blankly watched him. However, as if that silence was more difficult, Rhodnes' voice burst out ceaselessly.
“If you don’t want me to touch even a single hair of Blie Acacia, I’ll gladly do so. Even this distance is fine.”
Rhodnes was staring into the distance, barely a step away.
“Even if we remain friends, I will live alone for the rest of my life.”
As a Prince of a country, he dared not say things that he could not dare to say. Friend. He also realized that there were many things that had to be resolved if we were to draw a future between us.
“All I want is to be able to get this close to you. To protect you. To watch over you.”
Rhodnes stared at me as I swallowed my tears quietly, then his face distorted as if he couldn't bear it. He really knelt down in front of me without hesitation. I was so surprised that I stopped for a moment, then quickly knelt down after him. Rhodnes didn't shed tears, but his face was already crying.
“So just don’t say... that this is our last.”
Oh my God. How dare I tell him that it was the end? What right did I have to say that to him? To the man who had told me not to run away so many times?
“If you don’t want me to touch even a single hair of Blie Acacia, I’ll gladly do so. Even this distance is fine.”
Rhodnes was staring into the distance, barely a step away.
“Even if we remain friends, I will live alone for the rest of my life.”
As a Prince of a country, he dared not say things that he could not dare to say. Friend. He also realized that there were many things that had to be resolved if we were to draw a future between us.
“All I want is to be able to get this close to you. To protect you. To watch over you.”
Rhodnes stared at me as I swallowed my tears quietly, then his face distorted as if he couldn't bear it. He really knelt down in front of me without hesitation. I was so surprised that I stopped for a moment, then quickly knelt down after him. Rhodnes didn't shed tears, but his face was already crying.
“So just don’t say... that this is our last.”
Oh my God. How dare I tell him that it was the end? What right did I have to say that to him? To the man who had told me not to run away so many times?
But Rhodnes’ face was more sincere than ever. Every organ that gave me breath felt like it was being squeezed. It was painful. It seemed like I was nothing more than a fugitive to him.
"No."
"I..."
“No, don’t do that.”
“...Don’t leave me.”
With a face flushed with excitement, he threw the sword that had not cooled down in Noevian's blood to the floor. Rhodnes grabbed my hand that was reaching out to stop him and cupped his cheek. His thin cheek, which I felt under my hand, eventually distorted my face. His poor, thin, trembling cheek was painful as if it was stabbing my palm. Large tears fell from Rhodnes's bloodshot eyes, drip, drip, drip.
"No."
"I..."
“No, don’t do that.”
“...Don’t leave me.”
With a face flushed with excitement, he threw the sword that had not cooled down in Noevian's blood to the floor. Rhodnes grabbed my hand that was reaching out to stop him and cupped his cheek. His thin cheek, which I felt under my hand, eventually distorted my face. His poor, thin, trembling cheek was painful as if it was stabbing my palm. Large tears fell from Rhodnes's bloodshot eyes, drip, drip, drip.
Such a strong, untamed person. A person who had no reason to do this to me. He was crying, begging the fake shell of a dead woman not to abandon him.
Squeak! Squeak!!
Cowan was struggling so much that the bedpost where his leash was tied was pulled out as if he was desperate to run to us. However, far from taking my gaze away from the dog, I couldn't take my eyes off Rhodnes' face. I still didn't know what to say to him who was sobbing, so I just opened my mouth.
Hot tears soaked my hands. Every time tears poured down from his eyes without stopping, I felt the pain of my heart being sliced thinly like a sword. Ah, when did I start feeling so sorry for Rhodnes? When did I start wanting to hug him so much?
I held tightly the hand that he hadn't taken away. There was nothing I could do for the man who couldn't even look me in the eye and was crying.
“...You are really an idiot.”
After a long time, Rhodnes slowly raised his head as I opened my mouth. I carefully caressed his cheek with the hand that was holding him tightly.
“Why are you the only one who wants me and acts like you want me?”
The tears stopped flowing from Rhodnes's eyes. It was a surprising change. That change alone made me come to my senses for a moment. I couldn't let him have unnecessary expectations and make things more complicated later. I could never tell him that I thought I could draw a future with him if I just got rid of Noevian. The moment I investigated the Crown Prince and found out that he was related to my death, even by a little bit, our relationship would change again. I even thought that I would throw away Blie's body if I could find out the truth. I was sick of being a fool who didn't know anything anymore and being dumbfounded by the truth pouring out. I wanted to investigate the Crown Prince as well as Doris.
'Why are there so many things entangled between us?'
I pitied Rhodnes, who was holding onto my hand that was caressing his cheek like a lifeline. Rhodnes had been staring at my mouth persistently since the affectionate voice came out of my mouth, like a wanderer who had found an oasis in the desert. As if the words I had just uttered had taken shape and were floating in the air.
“...You are really an idiot.”
After a long time, Rhodnes slowly raised his head as I opened my mouth. I carefully caressed his cheek with the hand that was holding him tightly.
“Why are you the only one who wants me and acts like you want me?”
The tears stopped flowing from Rhodnes's eyes. It was a surprising change. That change alone made me come to my senses for a moment. I couldn't let him have unnecessary expectations and make things more complicated later. I could never tell him that I thought I could draw a future with him if I just got rid of Noevian. The moment I investigated the Crown Prince and found out that he was related to my death, even by a little bit, our relationship would change again. I even thought that I would throw away Blie's body if I could find out the truth. I was sick of being a fool who didn't know anything anymore and being dumbfounded by the truth pouring out. I wanted to investigate the Crown Prince as well as Doris.
'Why are there so many things entangled between us?'
I pitied Rhodnes, who was holding onto my hand that was caressing his cheek like a lifeline. Rhodnes had been staring at my mouth persistently since the affectionate voice came out of my mouth, like a wanderer who had found an oasis in the desert. As if the words I had just uttered had taken shape and were floating in the air.
Since Noevian’s confession, I have constantly been worrying about Rhodnes and my relationship. It was a worry I had put off since I had revealed my identity to Rhodnes. In my current situation, could I envision a future with Rhodnes?
My future with him became even more uncertain after I got involved with the Crown Prince. The reason Rhodnes is holding on to me like this is probably because he is afraid that I might not be envisioning a future with him. I will not stop digging into the secret, and I will definitely have to touch Rhodnes’ most beloved brother. Then he will inevitably suffer between the Crown Prince and me. It must be painful for me to see him suffer. But, when Rhodnes puts everything aside and begs me so sincerely, can I be the only coward who leaves this relationship behind?
'I barely recognized you because I was fooled by the mask, but you eventually recognized me even though I was in someone else's body.'
'I like you.'
'I like you because you don't care what body I'm in because I'm Adrienne.'
Words that I couldn't confess filled my mouth. I wanted to embrace his great sincerity. Even if it was too early to tell him I loved him, I wanted to tell him that I missed him the whole time we were apart. I wanted to be by his side and rely on him. However, I knew very well how great a sin it was to say something that I couldn't take responsibility for.
“...I missed you.”
But, but isn't this level of sincerity okay for a crying man?
“I missed you, Roan.”
What's so difficult about that? While I was spitting out his name, my lower abdomen felt heavy as if a heavy weight was hanging from it. But my head felt strangely refreshed.
Rhodnes stared blankly at my face for a while, then sighed briefly.
“Friend, even if it’s a friend... there are times when I miss you.”
The word friend was a sincerity hidden in the word, but even that was a great courage to me. However, my cowardly excuses seemed unheard. His wet eyes, barely coming to his senses, began to sparkle as if they had received an answer to a wish he had prayed for for a long time.
'I barely recognized you because I was fooled by the mask, but you eventually recognized me even though I was in someone else's body.'
'I like you.'
'I like you because you don't care what body I'm in because I'm Adrienne.'
Words that I couldn't confess filled my mouth. I wanted to embrace his great sincerity. Even if it was too early to tell him I loved him, I wanted to tell him that I missed him the whole time we were apart. I wanted to be by his side and rely on him. However, I knew very well how great a sin it was to say something that I couldn't take responsibility for.
“...I missed you.”
But, but isn't this level of sincerity okay for a crying man?
“I missed you, Roan.”
What's so difficult about that? While I was spitting out his name, my lower abdomen felt heavy as if a heavy weight was hanging from it. But my head felt strangely refreshed.
Rhodnes stared blankly at my face for a while, then sighed briefly.
“Friend, even if it’s a friend... there are times when I miss you.”
The word friend was a sincerity hidden in the word, but even that was a great courage to me. However, my cowardly excuses seemed unheard. His wet eyes, barely coming to his senses, began to sparkle as if they had received an answer to a wish he had prayed for for a long time.
I hugged him to hide my hot face. His shoulders were too broad, which was also a problem. I couldn’t fully wrap my arms around his back, so I squirmed and barely managed to find my posture, and in an instant, I was sucked into Rhodnes’s arms. Rhodnes pulled my neck and waist tightly in, sat up on his knees, and hugged me with all his might. Suddenly, I was lifted up as much as he got up, and I was helplessly buried in his arms. Rhodnes buried his face in my neck, crying bitterly.
The man, who couldn’t even cry out loud, was gritting his teeth and suppressing his scream-like cries inside. I couldn’t even dare to push him away, and I swallowed my tears while placing my palm on his heart which was pounding as if it was going to burst.
Wheezing-! Squeeze-!
Cowan, who had been running wild with his master’s strange behavior, eventually broke the leash and ran to us, hitting Rhodnes mercilessly with his front paws and nose. It seemed like he thought Rhodnes was going to crush me to death. Even though the panting dog would be bothered, Rhodnes cried for a while and then suddenly shook his shoulders. My legs were starting to cramp up, and my neck was so wet that I felt cold. I pushed away his firm chest slightly, and I was hugged tightly by Rhodnes again. Rhodnes, who had been squeezing me, rubbed his wet face against my neck a little roughly as if he didn’t want to show me his wet face. It was so ticklish and strange that I trembled. Strangely, he didn’t seem to be crying anymore. Rhodnes raised his head, pressed my head against his chest, and held his breath for a long time.
“...I’m beyond help, too.”
It was only after a long time that Rhodnes opened his mouth, lightly ignoring Cowan, who was trying to squeeze between us.
“In this situation...”
It was at a time when my heart was also beating so hard that I thought I could hear the sound of his still-rapidly beating heart.
“In this situation where you are most miserable... In this absurd situation...”
The hand that was still pressing hard on the back of my head relaxed, and I carefully raised my head.
“I feel so full like I own the world.”
The face of Rhodnes, embracing the dawn moon, shone with a cold light, but at the same time was bright like the rising sun.
“Just the simple words, ‘I miss you,’ were as sweet as eating the sweetest thing in the world.”
I could no longer tell whose heart was beating.
“I’d rather die like this, Adrienne.”
The sound of his heart pounding through my fingertips seemed to spread throughout my body like wildfire in a dry field.
“...I’m beyond help, too.”
It was only after a long time that Rhodnes opened his mouth, lightly ignoring Cowan, who was trying to squeeze between us.
“In this situation...”
It was at a time when my heart was also beating so hard that I thought I could hear the sound of his still-rapidly beating heart.
“In this situation where you are most miserable... In this absurd situation...”
The hand that was still pressing hard on the back of my head relaxed, and I carefully raised my head.
“I feel so full like I own the world.”
The face of Rhodnes, embracing the dawn moon, shone with a cold light, but at the same time was bright like the rising sun.
“Just the simple words, ‘I miss you,’ were as sweet as eating the sweetest thing in the world.”
I could no longer tell whose heart was beating.
“I’d rather die like this, Adrienne.”
The sound of his heart pounding through my fingertips seemed to spread throughout my body like wildfire in a dry field.
***
“That’s how it was handled.”
Doris, who was looking at the Crown Prince's gloomy face, covered the corner of her mouth with the teacup she had raised. If she hadn't bit her tongue, she would have laughed so hard that the Crown Princess Palace would leave. According to what Viscountess Giuseppe had told her, the reputation of Noevian Trovica had fallen to the ground. It was an absurd scandal that a strategist had kidnapped and murdered the Emperor's mistress.
“I will be faithful to my wife. For the sake of our future, please...”
“I understand what you mean, Your Highness.”
Doris, too, would rather let it slide than provoke the Duke of Castagna and make a fuss. The Grand Duke was no fool, and how could he send monsters or rebels from the vast west to Castagna’s direct territory?
He would immediately begin investigating, and if his tail was caught, he might be attacked. Even though a few monsters occasionally came over and caused damage, the territories directly related to Castagna were basically safe. In fact, some of the senior vassals who occasionally raised their heads to his father were sacrificed, so in some ways, he could be thankful.
“I can only now begin to realize that Your Highness is my husband.”
“...”
“When will the annexation take place?”
The Crown Prince's eyes fluttered slightly at the mention of annexation that Doris blurted out while she was at it. She almost burst out laughing again at the pitiful sight of a child who had lost his parents.
“As soon as I am ready, I will receive a good day and serve Your Highness.”
The Crown Prince's answer was no longer necessary for Doris.
“I can only now begin to realize that Your Highness is my husband.”
“...”
“When will the annexation take place?”
The Crown Prince's eyes fluttered slightly at the mention of annexation that Doris blurted out while she was at it. She almost burst out laughing again at the pitiful sight of a child who had lost his parents.
“As soon as I am ready, I will receive a good day and serve Your Highness.”
The Crown Prince's answer was no longer necessary for Doris.
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