RAMHM - Chapter 74 < Why Did You Kill Me? >

I pretended not to notice the maids gasping for breath while dressing me up. I decided to put on Adrienne’s dress and dress myself up, and even I looked like Adrienne. 

As soon as I finished dressing up, I dismissed everyone. Jonah went to Countess Acacia’s residence until morning. Marie went to her main house. When everyone was dumbfounded by the sudden order, I singled out Annie to guard Noevian’s bedroom. Annie willingly complied with a moved expression. I laughed like a crazy woman as I walked down the empty hallway. 

I opened the door to the Grand Duchess’s bedroom and looked down at the commotion outside. I burst into tears when I saw Gregory and Bianca, who had been shouting and stamping their feet right before entering the annex, eventually forcing their way in.

“Brother, brother, I’m sorry...”

I couldn't stop the names I couldn't bring myself to say from spilling out of my mouth, even though I knew that my makeup was smudged.

“I’m sorry, sis. I’m sorry...”

But it wasn't just my tears that I couldn't stop.

*** 

Noevian, who had repeatedly experienced cold sadness and hot anger, soaked in the bath. He clenched his fists with his hands which were much drier than before under the lukewarm bath water. The eyes of the Prince who had protected Blie as if he were her husband were hardly acting. He must have seen Adrienne with those eyes and wanted her. Since his eyes looking at Blie Acacia were so affectionate, what could Adrienne say? 

At the same time, as he thought of Blie’s face that had been held in his arms, an indescribable despair enveloped his entire body. And he had to squirm with deep disgust at himself for feeling that way. Blie Acacia had to be entirely his. This huge empire, this mansion, and even Adrienne were not entirely his, so even Blie, who he had transformed with his own hands, could not be his. What was that woman? What on earth could he not have? 

Count Acacia was dead. Adrienne’s funeral was over. He had already fallen out with the disloyal ones he called vassals, and even the eastern people he had been holding on to had completely turned their backs on him as of today. At first, it was for a greater cause, but the roles had been reversed. He had to take on more risks than necessary to get that insignificant and annoying woman named Blie Acacia. Even so, it was ridiculous to think that he could not have her completely. 

He did not believe in God, but he strongly agreed with the basic proposition that if you do something, you should gain something. If he had not even that belief, he would not have come this far. Just as he could not give his blood only after getting blood on his hands. 

Only after burying his feelings for Adrienne with her body did his whole body become dominated by the thought that he had to have Blie completely. He put on his clothes without even drying his body properly. He felt his clothes sticking to him because he had not properly dried himself. Foolish past days when he had thought that even that feeling was his lingering attachment to Adrienne flashed through his mind. 

Now, there was really nothing left. Even if the title of the leader of the Crown Prince's faction was passed on to someone else, he felt like he could do anything if he could just get Blie Acacia under him. As soon as he got dressed and came out, he opened a bottle of alcohol and poured it down his throat. It was strong enough to burn his throat, but he was used to it because he had been drinking it all along. 　

'Noevian, why... did you betray me?'

He hadn’t even set foot in Adrienne’s bedroom yet, but that voice, like a habit, was making his head spin. Betrayal was out of the question. 

She wasn’t mine to begin with, so how could it be called betrayal? 

He was the only one who had been in deep, unrequited love for Adrienne. Who was living in pain, whether she was alive or dead? 

It wasn’t Adrienne, who was already dead, but me. 

Noevian headed toward the Grand Duchess’s bedroom as if it was familiar. Since he had given Blie the Grand Duchess’s bedroom that she had wanted so much, he had to have something for himself too. Noevian, who had been walking quickly as if someone was chasing him, opened the bedroom door without a moment’s hesitation. And he saw Blie sitting on the windowsill in a very familiar outfit...

Blie was wearing Adrienne’s clothes. He could see Blie staring blankly in the direction that Rhodnes had left. In an instant, intense anger surged up in him. It was such an unfamiliar anger that he wondered if he had ever been so angry at something. 

Crunch! 

The bottle of liquor he was holding shattered sharply on the thick carpet. He had thrown it with that much force. He quickly approached Blie, who was looking outside and grabbed her chin. He easily grabbed her small chin. The eyes that had been desperately wanting to go to someone suddenly turned into eyes filled with resentment and turned toward him, and he felt as if the world was falling apart. And the very fact that he felt this way made him angry.

“I told you. I told you then, definitely.”

He growled, gripping Blie's chin more firmly as she tried to move her head.

“When I return from Elacon and the Grand Duchess’s funeral is over, I will take you.”

He felt Blie flinch and move closer. Blie, who was tightly wedged between the window and his body, was staring up at him, unable to breathe. 

Those eyes. Those gazes. Damn it, they were just like Adrienne's, and it felt like shit. And at the same time, he wanted them so badly.

“Do you think I gave you the Grand Duchess’s bedroom because you’re pretty? Because you acted like a puppy to me?”

“....”

“No way. You said this bedroom would be nice if you were making love, right? That’s why I gave it to you.”

“...”

“You said it with your own mouth, so keep your promise. I kept my promise, and I will have you. Right now.”

He felt her waist tremble as he pulled her in fiercely, but Noevian didn’t care. He grabbed her by the back of her head and pulled her in, swallowing her lips. It was so fucking sweet, so fucking soft. And the woman just stayed still like a wooden doll for a long time. She didn’t move even when Noevian hugged and groped her whole body.

“...Why, Rhodnes. Are you even thinking about that sinister brat?”

Blie was crying. The blood that had been boiling hot had cooled down.

“I should have done it this way from the beginning. I should have just had you since the gossip started about that bastard. I was too retarded. Did you like it when you used the dead Grand Duchess as a shield to play with me?”

He let out his maddening emotions without any filter as he looked at Blie's face, which was crying like a broken faucet without any change in expression.

“Do you think Rhodnes is any different? He’s a man who hasn’t been near the capital for years because he didn’t have Adrienne. Don’t get the wrong idea just because he’s a little friendly.”

A voice mixed with laughter floated around the bedroom without permission.

“He also sees Adrienne in you, not you.”

He couldn't choose his words, nor did he want to.

“I’m not like that kid. I don’t solve everything just because you cry a little. I just take it.”

He couldn't figure out when this woman had entered his heart and destroyed him. She was just a substitute. When she was wearing Adrienne's clothes and crying in Adrienne's bedroom, thinking of none other than Rhodnes, Noevian felt like a violent emotion he had never felt before would explode all over his body. 

Blie's lips, moistened with his saliva, opened when his anger had reached its limit. When he couldn't bear it without destroying anything, and when the object of his destruction was the woman in front of him, the source of his dirty emotions opened its mouth.

“If it were Lord Rhodes, he wouldn’t have done this.”

"...What?"

As soon as the name of Rhodnes came out of her mouth, he grabbed Blie's shoulder hard. He wanted to break it.

“...That’s not why I’m attracted to Prince Rhodnes.”

“Shut up.”

The tears continued to flow, and the voice that came out was excessively gloomy. Noevian’s face was distorted miserably. He couldn’t believe that he had heard such words. She closed her mouth as if the dirty words, “You said you loved me,” were about to roll off his tongue. The woman’s voice became even more gloomy as if she had no intention of avoiding his bloodshot eyes.

“I like new things.”

Noevian thought the woman was crazy.

“Please send me to Lord Rhodnes.”

“How cheeky, how dare you...”

“Are you feeling wronged, Your Highness?”

No more tears fell from the woman's eyes. Noevian did not want to hear any more of the woman's madness, mentioning Rhodnes and asking him to send her to him. He thought he would have to gag her and take it.

“You don’t have to feel wrong. You were married anyway.”

Until she said that. This woman was clearly crazy. She had been coveting a position that was not suitable for her subject and had encountered greater opposition than she had expected. The Piretta people had slapped her on the cheek, and Noevian had kissed her fiercely. He thought about that and released the hand that was holding his shoulder.

“I like new things.”

The words of the woman who always spoke habitually were unbearably irritating.

“If you think about it, that’s true. If we really have to share it, it’s the ‘old stuff’ that I’m passing on. Not you, Lord Rhodnes.”

“...Are you crazy?”

“I’m saying this because I think you remember what I said.”

“I told you to shut up.”

“I always said that I like new things. I want to make love in the Grand Duchess’s bedroom... I wish you had remembered this instead of saying things like that.”

It was at that moment that Noevian burst out laughing. He was trembling with laughter at the cleverness of trying to make him angry by mentioning Rhodnes without knowing the topic. But at the same time, his heart was filled with joy. Since he is married, don’t feel wronged. 

Send me to Rhodnes. Strictly speaking, you are not new. You are old. I always said that I like new things. 

Those words that he had just told her to shut up because they were annoying swirled inside him. It was the moment when Noevian realized that all those words were leading to a single conclusion.

“...Are you going to leave me?”

"Yes."

The woman answered without hesitation. The anger that had been swirling through his body disappeared in an instant. It was an act of anger that he had acted like that all the time when she said she loved him, but he did not know what kind of feelings he should express to a woman who had decided to leave him. It was because he had never imagined it. 

He stepped back from Blie for a moment. The woman stared at him without moving. Her eyes were still gloomy. It was not the face that whispered that she loved him while looking only at him like Adrienne.

“What the hell is the problem, Blie?”

*** 

Noevian's face was flushed red. I watched the squawk from the window where moonlight was pouring in. The smell of alcohol was strong, and Noevian, who was always neat, was disheveled. He had been unfamiliar in the past, but he had become quite familiar after I became a Blié Acacia. I felt like I had gotten to know him better during the two months of living together than during the past two years of marriage, so I snickered.

“Is this situation funny?”

"Little."

"...What?"

Noevian, who had been standing at a distance for a moment, slowly walked toward me. He did not come close to me. That was what I had hoped for.

“You said you wanted to become a Grand Duchess.”

"Not really."

"What?"

“Not really. I’ve lost interest in the Grand Duchess’s position.”

The words were spoken without hesitation. When I told him that I did not want the position of Grand Duchess that I so desperately wanted, Noevian looked at me with an expression as if he had been kicked in the back of the head.

“To make someone like you into a Grand Duchess, now... how much...”

“Are you mad? You took everything from me first.”

"...I?"

Noevian now stood still and looked me up and down. I took out one of the dresses that filled Adrienne's dressing room and put it on, and with the hair that Adrienne liked, I was just Adrienne with black hair.

“...Tell me, Noevian.”

“What do you want to do...?”

His voice flowing through the air was quite unrealistic.

“Why did you betray me?”

“Betrayal? Who betrayed you just now...”

Noevian's face, which had been answering as if it were a habit, suddenly changed expression as if it were splitting open, and his pupils dilated in an instant.

“Blie?”

“...I guess I still look like Blie.”

I was sitting by the window and slowly stepped onto the floor.

“Blie?”

I didn't answer.

“Blie.”

“It doesn’t seem like you’re on drugs. Then you should know that this isn’t a hallucination.”

Adrienne's favorite fan, the dress Adrienne wanted to wear, the way Adrienne walked.

Noevian's pupils contracted and dilated repeatedly.

“Tell me, Noah.”

Noah. No one called Noevian Trovica like that. Only Adrienne Trovica whispered it. 

Noah. My beloved Noah. My sea. My everything.

“Why did you kill me?”

Noevian's eyes, which had been filled with dirty desires, suddenly fell into despair.

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