The war of nerves with the frozen Annie didn't last long. Annie, who had already learned fear once, just froze without saying a word, and when my gaze swept over her, she couldn't stand it and lowered her head without saying a word.
“I don’t have time to waste, Annie. I’m too busy covering up all your past mistakes and telling you what you’ll gain from moving forward as my person.”
“Cover it, you’re going to cover it?”
It was a creaking voice like a wooden door that hadn't been oiled yet. I nodded with a deep sigh. Annie glanced at my cold eyes and shivered. I know what my eyes are like now. My eyes couldn't be normal when Doris's voice, so easily trying to drag Rhodnes into this dogfight, was buzzing in my head.
“I, I...”
The rib cage that had been breathing heavily stopped moving, and Annie grabbed the hem of her apron. Still, one hand was pressing on her chest, so I reached out to it.
“Is it here?”
I felt her flinch under my hand. She was a brazen person, but she seemed to be clumsy at lying. Still, she must have been a noble lady who grew up well, so she probably didn’t have any experience crawling on the floor. Just like I did.
Instead of hitting her, I caressed her cheek lovingly.
“As much as you want.”
I pinched her cheek as if it was cute, and took the seal from her relaxed hand. The seal, which I had never used before, was originally mine, but it felt unfamiliar. As I was about to return to my desk, Annie grabbed my sleeve. It was a weak force.
“Really, really His Highness...”
I patted her shoulder affectionately.
“Yes, you take it. As long as I can have the position of Grand Duchess, I don’t care who he meets.”
You will fall with me, carrying Noevian Trovica, who will fall into the abyss. Annie, who knew nothing about my true feelings, bowed her head deeply with a face of genuine emotion. It might have been the most polite thing I had ever seen from her. I couldn’t even laugh at the thought of her carrying the Duke of Castagna on her back and tormenting me for such a trivial position.
“...Don’t say you’re giving up.”
"Your Highness...?"
“Don’t look at me like I’m some kind of pitiful person. Don’t look at me like you’re going to leave me.”
It was only a moment before I was sucked into the wide, cold embrace. It was so cold that I was startled and almost fell, but Rhodnes held me tightly in his arms.
“I know you’re having a hard time. I told you I’d be the friend you wanted. I told you I’d wait for you when work was done or whenever. So why are you crying?”
The voice whispering in my ear seemed fierce at first glance, but it was very low and pitiful.
“No, Your Highness. There is something Your Highness must know.”
I barely managed to get out of his embrace and look around. There was no one guarding the tent entrance and no shadows around.
“I’m not going anywhere.”
“You made a face like you wanted to run away.”
“Me?”
“You did it. It was so hard that you wanted to throw everything away and run away.”
I looked up at the face of Rhodnes, who seemed to be in a state of shock for a moment and seemed anxious. I couldn't bear the feeling of pity for him, who had read my mind so well that I wanted to run away and thought it was her.
“I won’t run away. Until the truth is revealed. Until Your Highness is happy.”
“I don’t mind not being happy, I just want to be where I can see you.”
Naturally, my heart sank at the thought of giving up my own happiness, but I laughed in vain. The villain who had to tell him the truth. The few days I had spent worrying about not wanting to take on that villain role felt like nothing. I reached out to Rhodnes’ hair, which was messy because I had come in a hurry. Rhodnes flinched for a moment, then lowered his height and bent down toward me. I wasn’t patting him, but rather straightening his hair, but he closed his eyes as if he was being patting me. Just like when I was patting Cowan’s hair, I felt my heart, which had been fluttering for a moment, calming down.
“I don’t have time to waste, Annie. I’m too busy covering up all your past mistakes and telling you what you’ll gain from moving forward as my person.”
“Cover it, you’re going to cover it?”
It was a creaking voice like a wooden door that hadn't been oiled yet. I nodded with a deep sigh. Annie glanced at my cold eyes and shivered. I know what my eyes are like now. My eyes couldn't be normal when Doris's voice, so easily trying to drag Rhodnes into this dogfight, was buzzing in my head.
“I, I...”
“Don't make excuses, just give it to me. Or you can run back to the frontier and write to Castagna.”
“Is it here?”
I felt her flinch under my hand. She was a brazen person, but she seemed to be clumsy at lying. Still, she must have been a noble lady who grew up well, so she probably didn’t have any experience crawling on the floor. Just like I did.
Annie, who had been still for a while, put her hand in her bosom as if she had made up her mind, and then looked up at me earnestly.
“If I become your man... and work for you, what will I gain?”
“Is there anything you want?”
Annie hesitated for a long time. When her cloudy purple eyes stopped moving aimlessly, she took out a seal from her bosom and answered.
“Please let me stay by his side, even if it’s as His Highness’s government. If not as your government, even as his dedicated maid.”
“...”
I stared at Annie without answering. She had her eyes tightly shut as if she was prepared to get hit, and she looked very pitiful. I put my cold hand on her cheek. Annie, who flinched greatly, looked up at me.
“I can’t stand it... I don’t want the position of Grand Duchess. I can’t have it. Just, just let me be by his side. To serve him... If I give you this seal, it’s as good as cutting off my ties with the West. Please...”
“If I become your man... and work for you, what will I gain?”
“Is there anything you want?”
Annie hesitated for a long time. When her cloudy purple eyes stopped moving aimlessly, she took out a seal from her bosom and answered.
“Please let me stay by his side, even if it’s as His Highness’s government. If not as your government, even as his dedicated maid.”
“...”
I stared at Annie without answering. She had her eyes tightly shut as if she was prepared to get hit, and she looked very pitiful. I put my cold hand on her cheek. Annie, who flinched greatly, looked up at me.
“I can’t stand it... I don’t want the position of Grand Duchess. I can’t have it. Just, just let me be by his side. To serve him... If I give you this seal, it’s as good as cutting off my ties with the West. Please...”
Instead of hitting her, I caressed her cheek lovingly.
“As much as you want.”
I pinched her cheek as if it was cute, and took the seal from her relaxed hand. The seal, which I had never used before, was originally mine, but it felt unfamiliar. As I was about to return to my desk, Annie grabbed my sleeve. It was a weak force.
“Really, really His Highness...”
I patted her shoulder affectionately.
“Yes, you take it. As long as I can have the position of Grand Duchess, I don’t care who he meets.”
You will fall with me, carrying Noevian Trovica, who will fall into the abyss. Annie, who knew nothing about my true feelings, bowed her head deeply with a face of genuine emotion. It might have been the most polite thing I had ever seen from her. I couldn’t even laugh at the thought of her carrying the Duke of Castagna on her back and tormenting me for such a trivial position.
After Annie left, I slowly looked around the quiet office. The past days when I had tried to become a proud wife to Noevian, despite my sick body, flashed before my eyes. Unlike the Grand Duchess’ bedroom, which was always swept and cleaned, this place was covered in dust. It must have been like this since I was alive as Adrienne when I was so sick that I could no longer sit in this office.
I wiped the dust with my index finger and blew it thoughtlessly, then sat down and finished what I had been thinking about before Annie was called. A pile of high-quality stationery on the desk. It was the same shape as the one in Noevian's office, but the light beige color was a device to separate the work of the Grand Duke and Grand Duchess.
Just as Doris recognized Noevian's letterhead and ran to me as soon as she realized that I was not talking nonsense, it was obvious who would recognize this letterhead and run to me as soon as she did.
'Bianca Piretta.'
My only brother, Gregory Piretta's wife, and my step-sister who was like a real sister to me. If my family found out that Noevian Trovica had brought a new woman into the Grand Duchess' residence before the funeral was over, they would be more furious than my brother Gregory.
[To my dear Duchess Piretta.]
I had only written the first sentence, but tears were about to fall. I could still clearly hear Bianca's voice sobbing with Gregory on the first day of the funeral. I wanted to resolve everything without being noticed by them as much as possible, but there was nothing I could do.
[Did you know that Grand Duke Trovika had already decided on the next Grand Duchess before the funeral was even over?]
***
In front of the tent of the Capital Guards camped in front of the Grand Duchess’ residence. I came here, telling Gaspard to take down the tent immediately. In reality, I came here to borrow the carrier pigeon. The Grand Duke’s residence had to censor all letters coming through the carrier pigeon or the carrier bureau. The reason Noevian had locked me up in the Grand Duke’s residence was to eliminate any connections with the Crown Princess or the Duke of Castagna. Fortunately, this place was guarded by Neil or Vincenzo, so I could occasionally come here and borrow the carrier pigeon secretly under the pretext of protesting.
I blankly watched the carrier pigeon fly away after leaving my hands. The letter with the Grand Duchess’ seal finally flew to my hometown, Eastern Piretta. The cold reality of having to drive a nail into their hearts with my own hands, knowing that their families would despair upon receiving this letter, hit me hard. It would be best not to meet them if possible, but it would be hard. If only I could escape for a moment. If I were to face them as the next Grand Duchess who looked exactly like Noevian's government and Adrienne, one of them or I would surely go crazy.
I could feel the tears that were running down my cheeks slowly freezing in the winter wind. I was barely able to pull myself together and was about to leave when I saw Rhodnes, who had come to visit me, watching the whole thing.
“Your... Your Highness.”
“Why are you crying?”
Without even greeting me, Rhodnes sent Neil away, who was surprised to see me crying, and hurriedly took me into a small tent. He lightly grabbed my shoulders and looked me over as if looking for wounds on my body.
“I have something to say, Your Highness.”
The fierce-looking face of Rhodnes darkened in an instant. He must have had a hunch that what I was saying would not be very good. When the strength left his hands, I held his arms tightly this time. Rhodnes’s arms, clad in armor like a battlefield, were too thick for my small hands to wrap around, so it was almost like I was just holding them. The iron armor under his hands was as cold as ice. It was proof that he had taken on a case he didn’t want to take on, asking the Emperor for me.
“Your... Your Highness.”
“Why are you crying?”
Without even greeting me, Rhodnes sent Neil away, who was surprised to see me crying, and hurriedly took me into a small tent. He lightly grabbed my shoulders and looked me over as if looking for wounds on my body.
“I have something to say, Your Highness.”
The fierce-looking face of Rhodnes darkened in an instant. He must have had a hunch that what I was saying would not be very good. When the strength left his hands, I held his arms tightly this time. Rhodnes’s arms, clad in armor like a battlefield, were too thick for my small hands to wrap around, so it was almost like I was just holding them. The iron armor under his hands was as cold as ice. It was proof that he had taken on a case he didn’t want to take on, asking the Emperor for me.
How long had he been out and about on this cold day? How had he endured the battlefield, facing rebels and monsters whose names alone made his skin crawl? How much had he suffered after being stabbed in the back by his first love and his uncle?
Rhodnes flinched as I passed his cold arms and grabbed his large, wounded hands. It was because he sensed an ominous aura.
“...Don’t say you’re giving up.”
"Your Highness...?"
“Don’t look at me like I’m some kind of pitiful person. Don’t look at me like you’re going to leave me.”
It was only a moment before I was sucked into the wide, cold embrace. It was so cold that I was startled and almost fell, but Rhodnes held me tightly in his arms.
“I know you’re having a hard time. I told you I’d be the friend you wanted. I told you I’d wait for you when work was done or whenever. So why are you crying?”
The voice whispering in my ear seemed fierce at first glance, but it was very low and pitiful.
“No, Your Highness. There is something Your Highness must know.”
I barely managed to get out of his embrace and look around. There was no one guarding the tent entrance and no shadows around.
“I’m not going anywhere.”
“You made a face like you wanted to run away.”
“Me?”
“You did it. It was so hard that you wanted to throw everything away and run away.”
I looked up at the face of Rhodnes, who seemed to be in a state of shock for a moment and seemed anxious. I couldn't bear the feeling of pity for him, who had read my mind so well that I wanted to run away and thought it was her.
“I won’t run away. Until the truth is revealed. Until Your Highness is happy.”
“I don’t mind not being happy, I just want to be where I can see you.”
Naturally, my heart sank at the thought of giving up my own happiness, but I laughed in vain. The villain who had to tell him the truth. The few days I had spent worrying about not wanting to take on that villain role felt like nothing. I reached out to Rhodnes’ hair, which was messy because I had come in a hurry. Rhodnes flinched for a moment, then lowered his height and bent down toward me. I wasn’t patting him, but rather straightening his hair, but he closed his eyes as if he was being patting me. Just like when I was patting Cowan’s hair, I felt my heart, which had been fluttering for a moment, calming down.
I had a strange conviction that even if Rhodnes knew the truth, he wouldn’t despair as bitterly or want to run away like I did. Was it because he seemed two heads taller than me? Was it because his upper body, bent over me, looked much thicker than everyone else’s? Or was it because he dared to say something so ridiculous as if it were an absolute proposition that it was okay if he wasn’t happy as long as I was in front of him?
I had finished organizing his hair with a complicated expression, and when he opened his eyes with a twinkle in his eye, I opened my mouth as if a heavy weight was hanging from it.
“The monsters and rebels that Your Highness has been fighting on the battlefield for nearly two years... They are not originally from the West.”
“...”
“Everyone, these are things that Noevian made on purpose to keep His Highness captive. They are to prevent the 2nd PrincebRhodnes from setting foot in the capital. I have found the evidence to prove this. And it is probably...”
“It’s not because of you.”
“It’s not because of you. It’s because of that Noevian Trovica dog... Nothing has changed.”
“How can you say that so nonchalantly? Your Highness’s precious time is wasted for such a reason...”
His face, which was so indifferent, didn't show even a hint of pain, so I felt anxious. If I had been angry and cried out that it was unfair, he would have comforted me, but instead, I felt frustrated when I saw his face comforting me by saying that it wasn't my fault.
“It’s not worth whining about killing thousands of monsters...”
His hot hand pulled my cold hand which was quenching my anger.
“Because the reality that Adrienne Piretta married another man and not me was more hell to me.”
“...!”
“So, it doesn’t matter if you haven’t been around for a few years or so in my life.”
It wasn't a voice blaming me at all. The tone of voice and expression were so plain that I couldn't even feel guilty. His huge heart, which seemed like it would suffocate me one day, cooled my head down.
"...Me too."
I looked down at my tightly held hand and opened my mouth.
“I, too, can’t just whine and run away in this situation... I have too much work to do.”
I felt like I wanted to give some assurance to Rhodnes, who said that suffering was natural.
“I just sent a letter to the East. Noevian Trovica brought another woman into the house before his wife’s funeral was over.”
Rhodnes, who had been indifferent to my pain, frowned as if he was in pain at those few words. Only then did he seem to understand the meaning of my tears, and he slowly wiped them away with his fingers.
“I don’t want to run away. I thought it would happen someday, so I’m going to make sure that all the blame directed at me is Noevian’s. No one will be left by Noevian’s side. Just as Your Highness was lonely on the battlefield with no one around. Just as I suffered alone in the Grand Duke’s palace.”
Rhodnes is right when he says that nothing will change even if I find out the truth. Now that it has come to this, is there really any need to dwell on how much of a bastard Noevian is? What I was afraid of was my beloved family getting hurt, and them hurting me, who was already exhausted. It must have hurt, but I had no choice but to face it head-on.
“Even if the whole world curses and criticizes you, I will stop it all, so just do what you want. If you want to end it all with your own hands, then do it, Adrienne.”
If only I could end it all with my own hands if only I could destroy Noevian, who had embraced the despair of his family. What would it matter if these few hellish months were removed from my life?
“The monsters and rebels that Your Highness has been fighting on the battlefield for nearly two years... They are not originally from the West.”
“...”
“Everyone, these are things that Noevian made on purpose to keep His Highness captive. They are to prevent the 2nd PrincebRhodnes from setting foot in the capital. I have found the evidence to prove this. And it is probably...”
“It’s not because of you.”
“I drove the Crown Prince's greatest ally out on a limb, and how is that not my fault, and even he didn't know it.”
“How can you say that so nonchalantly? Your Highness’s precious time is wasted for such a reason...”
His face, which was so indifferent, didn't show even a hint of pain, so I felt anxious. If I had been angry and cried out that it was unfair, he would have comforted me, but instead, I felt frustrated when I saw his face comforting me by saying that it wasn't my fault.
“It’s not worth whining about killing thousands of monsters...”
His hot hand pulled my cold hand which was quenching my anger.
“Because the reality that Adrienne Piretta married another man and not me was more hell to me.”
“...!”
“So, it doesn’t matter if you haven’t been around for a few years or so in my life.”
It wasn't a voice blaming me at all. The tone of voice and expression were so plain that I couldn't even feel guilty. His huge heart, which seemed like it would suffocate me one day, cooled my head down.
"...Me too."
I looked down at my tightly held hand and opened my mouth.
“I, too, can’t just whine and run away in this situation... I have too much work to do.”
I felt like I wanted to give some assurance to Rhodnes, who said that suffering was natural.
“I just sent a letter to the East. Noevian Trovica brought another woman into the house before his wife’s funeral was over.”
Rhodnes, who had been indifferent to my pain, frowned as if he was in pain at those few words. Only then did he seem to understand the meaning of my tears, and he slowly wiped them away with his fingers.
“I don’t want to run away. I thought it would happen someday, so I’m going to make sure that all the blame directed at me is Noevian’s. No one will be left by Noevian’s side. Just as Your Highness was lonely on the battlefield with no one around. Just as I suffered alone in the Grand Duke’s palace.”
Rhodnes is right when he says that nothing will change even if I find out the truth. Now that it has come to this, is there really any need to dwell on how much of a bastard Noevian is? What I was afraid of was my beloved family getting hurt, and them hurting me, who was already exhausted. It must have hurt, but I had no choice but to face it head-on.
“Even if the whole world curses and criticizes you, I will stop it all, so just do what you want. If you want to end it all with your own hands, then do it, Adrienne.”
If only I could end it all with my own hands if only I could destroy Noevian, who had embraced the despair of his family. What would it matter if these few hellish months were removed from my life?
"Ah..."
Rhodes embraced me like a mother bird. I couldn't help but think that if I could make up for this foolish man's time, if I could make him happy, if only I could atone for it, I would do anything.
Rhodes embraced me like a mother bird. I couldn't help but think that if I could make up for this foolish man's time, if I could make him happy, if only I could atone for it, I would do anything.
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