We stayed together until morning. I felt a little sorry for the coachman, but we sat like that for a long time in the carriage under Starlight Hill. I waited quietly for Rhodnes, who was hunched over, to gather his thoughts. I stared at the hard, dried blood between his open shirt. The blood that had been circulating quickly in his body suddenly became cold.
"...Don't do it."
“!”
I must have lost myself in thought and had a serious expression on my face. Rhodnes, sitting up straight, was staring straight at me.
“What, what?”
When I answered like a child who had been caught doing something wrong, Rhodnes suddenly stood up and stood in front of me. The carriage provided by the Grand Duke was so wide and large that even if he stood there, his head would not reach the ceiling. His dry and well-shaped lips parted when I looked up at him from a great height.
“What you’re thinking about right now.”
“You know what I’m thinking.”
It was clearly a sound coming from a place much higher than my head, but it was a low voice that seemed to shake the entire carriage, piercing from the floor all the way to my heart.
“What are you holding back?”
“I want to catch you like prey, tie your arms and legs together, and take you to a private residence.”
“!”
The phrase ‘like prey’ struck me particularly loudly. In Ronta, when you catch a long-legged animal, you tie its legs behind you...
“...What are you talking about all of a sudden?”
“Your soul. No, you. It doesn’t matter where you go...”
The face of Rhodnes, which had seemed so firm, was slowly collapsing. Wasn't it getting better? Rhodnes, who had tightened his jaw, tightened his neck muscles so that they were visible, and hugged me.
“What, what are you doing...”
“...So just don’t think about anything and don’t try to disappear.”
“!”
“Both the first and second were so hard...”
"An!"
At the name An, Rhodnes immediately reacted and held me more firmly against his chest.
“Don’t try to abandon me... three times.”
The time I foolishly thought of Noevian as a fool and gave my heart to him. And then for some reason, I died. Both times, I felt like I was going crazy because I felt bad for Rhodnes, who said that I had abandoned him. Do I deserve this kind of love?
“Don’t think about it.”
“!”
As if reading my mind, Rhodnes's voice pouring down over my head was firm.
“I’ll think about it all. I’ll take care of it all...”
I had to take a few deep breaths because he hugged me so tightly that I couldn't even move. My face was starting to flush as I could clearly hear the sound of someone's heartbeat.
“...It’s just where I see it.”
"...Friend."
Rhodnes stared at me and muttered low and sinisterly.
“...If that’s what you want to do.”
I feel a little chilly.
“But I can’t wait long.”
“What, what...?”
“So use me.”
“!”
“It’s incomparable to anything before.”
She wonders what on earth the Crown Prince is doing with the Grand Duke.
'There is no help without a reason.'
What if the reason for sending the chinless Blie Acacia to the position of Grand Duchess was to keep an eye on her husband?
“Oh my, what do you think of me?”
I sat down on a nearby sofa, conscious of the gazes of Gaspard and the other servants.
“Why would I be searching for a body on such a dark night? Come to think of it, I don’t have many days left in this mansion...”
As if annoyed by my taking a sip of the tea that Marge had brewed, she continued talking.
“I thought that there was no need to go looking for the body of the Grand Duchess and incur your hatred since even the Grand Duke did not welcome it. It would be better to make friends with the nobles who visit the Grand Duke’s residence at that time.”
Annie, whose expression was noticeably more deflated than before, seemed to be closely examining my expression. I put down my teacup and glanced at Annie's group.
“Your loyalty to your late master was quite impressive. I didn’t think it would last so long.”
All the startled eyes turned towards me.
“But won’t you have to serve a new master someday? If you continue to cooperate in the future...”
I smiled affectionately.
“I will tell Her Majesty the Empress. Do you understand what I mean?”
The Grand Duke's demons who wanted to rise in status. Doris was sure that by using their three-inch tongues and wide-eyed, squinting eyes and ears, she could get what she wanted.
“And Annie.”
“Yes, yes?”
“I especially felt like I wanted to use you for something bigger.”
Annie's eyes, filled with embarrassment, shook violently. The more she did, the more I smiled. I recalled Annie's face smiling at me as she took Noevian's coat when I was groaning in pain.
“Do you know what this means?”
A maid who doesn't know the subject and is anxious to climb higher will be of great use. After that, I gave the maids some free time.
“Madam, I saw Annie trying to go out of the Grand Duke’s residence.”
I nodded slowly at Jonah's whisper. When I looked out the window, I saw Annie with the aforementioned face walking briskly across the garden toward the entrance.
“She's going out like this.”
"Yes?"
“She will return before His Highness the Crown Prince arrives.”
And I'm ready to follow Annie. I wonder who Annie will tell this news to first.
While important events were happening one after another, I was distracted for a moment, and a thought that had been pushed aside for a moment came to mind, and I felt a chill run down my body. Rhodnes dying after me or dying because he despised himself. Neither of these were things I wanted.
Rhodnes placed his hands on his temples and was in agony, but he occasionally raised his head and looked at me. I tried to smile as if I was okay, but I was not okay at all. I had to go back to the Grand Duke’s residence and achieve my other goal. What should Rhodnes and I do from now on?
The great love he had shown me and the betrayal of Noevian, to whom I had once devoted my all, was sharply splitting my heart into two waves. My longing for An, the glorious days, and my rational attraction to him who had grown up to be more wonderful than I had imagined. All of these things clearly touched my heart like a stamp.
However, as long as I had an unpaid debt with Noevian, I still had no room in my heart to start a new love. Maybe Rhodnes was also troubled by the same thing. Emotions are emotions, and I couldn’t help but think about reality.
The Crown Prince’s favorite younger brother, the second Prince Rhodnes. How could a woman named Blie Acacia be by Rhodnes’ side? After Empress Letina passed away, Rhodnes, who had worked so hard to protect the Crown Prince, the family he relied on the most, abandoned his family and was by Blie Acacia’s side instead of Adrienne? Even if he says he's coming, will I be happy?
When I confronted the fundamental problem, I felt a little frustrated even after revealing the truth.
"...Don't do it."
“!”
I must have lost myself in thought and had a serious expression on my face. Rhodnes, sitting up straight, was staring straight at me.
“What, what?”
When I answered like a child who had been caught doing something wrong, Rhodnes suddenly stood up and stood in front of me. The carriage provided by the Grand Duke was so wide and large that even if he stood there, his head would not reach the ceiling. His dry and well-shaped lips parted when I looked up at him from a great height.
“What you’re thinking about right now.”
“You know what I’m thinking.”
“...Because I have been enduring it a lot.”
It was clearly a sound coming from a place much higher than my head, but it was a low voice that seemed to shake the entire carriage, piercing from the floor all the way to my heart.
“What are you holding back?”
“I want to catch you like prey, tie your arms and legs together, and take you to a private residence.”
“!”
The phrase ‘like prey’ struck me particularly loudly. In Ronta, when you catch a long-legged animal, you tie its legs behind you...
Every time I unexpectedly ran into him, I remembered how he had tied my arms behind me.
Ha.
The serious atmosphere suddenly dissolved. All this time, he had treated me like prey to be caught...
I looked up at him, feeling somewhat angry, but Rhodnes was already sitting in front of me with one knee bent to match my height. Even sitting bent like that, he was taller than me when I was sitting. I felt anew that he was a very large man.
“So, whatever you’re thinking about, stop.”
“Do you know what I’m thinking...”
“I feel like you're going to disappear like this.”
As I flinched for a moment, Rhodnes placed a hand on my knee and squeezed it tightly. It didn't hurt, but I felt a strong force.
“I don’t care if you transfer to a man’s body or to some ridiculous beast.”
“So, whatever you’re thinking about, stop.”
“Do you know what I’m thinking...”
“I feel like you're going to disappear like this.”
As I flinched for a moment, Rhodnes placed a hand on my knee and squeezed it tightly. It didn't hurt, but I felt a strong force.
“I don’t care if you transfer to a man’s body or to some ridiculous beast.”
“...What are you talking about all of a sudden?”
“Your soul. No, you. It doesn’t matter where you go...”
The face of Rhodnes, which had seemed so firm, was slowly collapsing. Wasn't it getting better? Rhodnes, who had tightened his jaw, tightened his neck muscles so that they were visible, and hugged me.
“What, what are you doing...”
“...So just don’t think about anything and don’t try to disappear.”
“!”
“Both the first and second were so hard...”
"An!"
At the name An, Rhodnes immediately reacted and held me more firmly against his chest.
“Don’t try to abandon me... three times.”
The time I foolishly thought of Noevian as a fool and gave my heart to him. And then for some reason, I died. Both times, I felt like I was going crazy because I felt bad for Rhodnes, who said that I had abandoned him. Do I deserve this kind of love?
“Don’t think about it.”
“!”
As if reading my mind, Rhodnes's voice pouring down over my head was firm.
“I’ll think about it all. I’ll take care of it all...”
I had to take a few deep breaths because he hugged me so tightly that I couldn't even move. My face was starting to flush as I could clearly hear the sound of someone's heartbeat.
“...It’s just where I see it.”
***
The carriage stopped in front of the Grand Duke's residence, but neither of us got out. The long embrace seemed meaningless, and Rhodnes sat down opposite me, watching me as if he were watching me.
“No matter what excuse I make... it’s not a big deal to keep you from getting involved with the Grand Duke.”
“...Are you trying to send me running away?”
“You, alone?”
Rhodnes smiled as if he found it a little ridiculous. But his frozen face remained the same.
“I should take you.”
“Your Highness, are you going to run away in the middle of the night with a married lady?”
“If I do it, everyone will think the same, because I’m a problem child.”
His face was so serious that I couldn't believe it. I shook my head slightly and glanced at the Grand Duke's residence outside the window.
"An."
I called him, but there was no answer.
“I wonder if I really died because I was sick, or if not, why I died...”
Suddenly my throat became sore.
“I want to know why Noevian lied like that...”
"I..."
“You can't do it.”
Our eyes met in a dizzying manner. I clenched my fists and opened my mouth.
“Noevian is His Highness the Crown Prince’s man.”
“...”
I smiled faintly as Rhodnes' mouth closed immediately.
“If you move in any way, both you and His Highness the Crown Prince will be uncomfortable.”
No matter how much Rhodnes helps me, this is ultimately my fight. These are emotions that I can never shake off unless I uncover them and punish them. If I don't shake off these messy and messy emotions, I won't be able to have a relationship called 'love' no matter how much I try to hide it.
“Until this is all over... we’ll still be good friends, right?”
“No matter what excuse I make... it’s not a big deal to keep you from getting involved with the Grand Duke.”
“...Are you trying to send me running away?”
“You, alone?”
Rhodnes smiled as if he found it a little ridiculous. But his frozen face remained the same.
“I should take you.”
“Your Highness, are you going to run away in the middle of the night with a married lady?”
“If I do it, everyone will think the same, because I’m a problem child.”
His face was so serious that I couldn't believe it. I shook my head slightly and glanced at the Grand Duke's residence outside the window.
"An."
I called him, but there was no answer.
“I wonder if I really died because I was sick, or if not, why I died...”
Suddenly my throat became sore.
“I want to know why Noevian lied like that...”
"I..."
“You can't do it.”
Our eyes met in a dizzying manner. I clenched my fists and opened my mouth.
“Noevian is His Highness the Crown Prince’s man.”
“...”
I smiled faintly as Rhodnes' mouth closed immediately.
“If you move in any way, both you and His Highness the Crown Prince will be uncomfortable.”
No matter how much Rhodnes helps me, this is ultimately my fight. These are emotions that I can never shake off unless I uncover them and punish them. If I don't shake off these messy and messy emotions, I won't be able to have a relationship called 'love' no matter how much I try to hide it.
“Until this is all over... we’ll still be good friends, right?”
"...Friend."
Rhodnes stared at me and muttered low and sinisterly.
“...If that’s what you want to do.”
I feel a little chilly.
“But I can’t wait long.”
“What, what...?”
“So use me.”
“!”
“It’s incomparable to anything before.”
***
Only after Rhodnes got off the Grand Duke's carriage, I was able to escape the suffocating air inside the carriage. I had just barely managed to stop him from entering the Grand Duke's residence with me.
“Where have you been so early in the morning?”
“...”
As soon as I entered the main building, I took off my coat and handed it to the butler, Gaspard, who followed me without saying a word.
“Where are the maids, Jonah?”
“Everyone is resting in their rooms.”
“I think they have been resting for too long.”
Jonah nodded solemnly and ran straight to fetch the maids. Gaspard still stood there dumbfounded as if he couldn't believe that I had left him my coat and ignored his orders.
“It seems like things are hectic at home.”
It's not for nothing that I say this; the employees have been moving around strangely busily since the morning.
“His Highness the Crown Prince is scheduled to arrive this afternoon.”
“His Highness the Crown Prince? Why didn’t you tell me in advance?”
“I just received word this morning that His Highness is coming. Since he comes so often, it is a daily occurrence at the Grand Duke’s residence.”
Ah. As I watched the maids walking towards the reception room, I suddenly had that thought.
'I don't think there's one reason why Doris sent me to the Grand Duke's residence.'
“Where have you been so early in the morning?”
“...”
As soon as I entered the main building, I took off my coat and handed it to the butler, Gaspard, who followed me without saying a word.
“Where are the maids, Jonah?”
“Everyone is resting in their rooms.”
“I think they have been resting for too long.”
Jonah nodded solemnly and ran straight to fetch the maids. Gaspard still stood there dumbfounded as if he couldn't believe that I had left him my coat and ignored his orders.
“It seems like things are hectic at home.”
It's not for nothing that I say this; the employees have been moving around strangely busily since the morning.
“His Highness the Crown Prince is scheduled to arrive this afternoon.”
“His Highness the Crown Prince? Why didn’t you tell me in advance?”
“I just received word this morning that His Highness is coming. Since he comes so often, it is a daily occurrence at the Grand Duke’s residence.”
Ah. As I watched the maids walking towards the reception room, I suddenly had that thought.
'I don't think there's one reason why Doris sent me to the Grand Duke's residence.'
She wonders what on earth the Crown Prince is doing with the Grand Duke.
'There is no help without a reason.'
What if the reason for sending the chinless Blie Acacia to the position of Grand Duchess was to keep an eye on her husband?
I walked over to the trembling maids and stood in front of Annie. She was biting her lips while trembling slightly, and she looked much more polite than before.
“Thank you for telling me where the body is.”
Annie's face lit up. Annie, who had been wetting her rough, white, dry lips with her tongue, opened her mouth as if she wanted to say something.
“I, I...”
And I smiled affectionately as if I would listen to anything.
“Was there really a body there...?”
“Thank you for telling me where the body is.”
Annie's face lit up. Annie, who had been wetting her rough, white, dry lips with her tongue, opened her mouth as if she wanted to say something.
“I, I...”
And I smiled affectionately as if I would listen to anything.
“Was there really a body there...?”
“Oh my, what do you think of me?”
I sat down on a nearby sofa, conscious of the gazes of Gaspard and the other servants.
“Why would I be searching for a body on such a dark night? Come to think of it, I don’t have many days left in this mansion...”
As if annoyed by my taking a sip of the tea that Marge had brewed, she continued talking.
“I thought that there was no need to go looking for the body of the Grand Duchess and incur your hatred since even the Grand Duke did not welcome it. It would be better to make friends with the nobles who visit the Grand Duke’s residence at that time.”
Annie, whose expression was noticeably more deflated than before, seemed to be closely examining my expression. I put down my teacup and glanced at Annie's group.
“Your loyalty to your late master was quite impressive. I didn’t think it would last so long.”
All the startled eyes turned towards me.
“But won’t you have to serve a new master someday? If you continue to cooperate in the future...”
I smiled affectionately.
“I will tell Her Majesty the Empress. Do you understand what I mean?”
The Grand Duke's demons who wanted to rise in status. Doris was sure that by using their three-inch tongues and wide-eyed, squinting eyes and ears, she could get what she wanted.
“And Annie.”
“Yes, yes?”
“I especially felt like I wanted to use you for something bigger.”
Annie's eyes, filled with embarrassment, shook violently. The more she did, the more I smiled. I recalled Annie's face smiling at me as she took Noevian's coat when I was groaning in pain.
“Do you know what this means?”
A maid who doesn't know the subject and is anxious to climb higher will be of great use. After that, I gave the maids some free time.
“Madam, I saw Annie trying to go out of the Grand Duke’s residence.”
I nodded slowly at Jonah's whisper. When I looked out the window, I saw Annie with the aforementioned face walking briskly across the garden toward the entrance.
“She's going out like this.”
"Yes?"
“She will return before His Highness the Crown Prince arrives.”
And I'm ready to follow Annie. I wonder who Annie will tell this news to first.
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