"You're such a useless girl. If you weren't my sister, I would've kicked you out a long time ago."
"I heard that my brother is worried about you. A lady is best used to dress up and marry a good man, but you don't know how to please people at all, so it's a big deal. No matter what, you're not that bad... Isn't my brother really too much?"
"I can't believe that my son married a girl who didn't even bring a decent dowry. Tsk, you seem so useless."
"Don't mind what your mother says, Ari. I told you. You have talent in music. Even though no one but me would notice, you're still dazzling enough in my eyes. So, Ari, you're useful enough for me."
I slowly opened my eyes.
The family's bickering, which had been noisy until just a moment ago, died down all at once. What remained was an oddly tight silence. I opened my mouth wide and strained my vocal cords, but I couldn't hear anything. Was I even breathing? I took a deep breath. But I couldn't even hear my own breathing.
"..."
At that moment, a fear that suffocated me took over. I crouched down and breathed hard. My lungs felt as if they were filled with water. No matter how much I panted and groaned, the world was still quiet. I raised my fingernails and scratched my broken ears. I wish someone would break this silence. No prison could be scarier than this quiet world.
My breathing became even more rapid. I wanted to scream out loud in utter terror, but I couldn't. I felt like I couldn't bear it if I couldn't hear even that sound. I crouched down even more and sobbed softly.
Please, please, let me hear even the smallest sound. If I don't, I feel like I'll break...
At that moment, a strong force grabbed my hand.
"...!"
I raised my head, startled. Dante was standing there. He looked the same as always. No, the area under his eyes was a little rough and his lips looked dry, but other than that, he definitely looked healthy.
Yes. At least you're safe.
Relief swept over me like a tidal wave when I confirmed that he was fine. But the next moment, my heart sank. Did Dante see the whole disgrace I had just been causing?
My ears, which had been scratched by my own nails, were burning. Dante's lips moved.
'Ariana.'
I still couldn't hear, but I could read the shape of his mouth. I secretly bit the inside of my mouth. Did he already find out?
That I couldn't hear. His lips moved again. Slowly, but firmly.
'Calm down. It's okay.'
'There's nothing here that can hurt you.'
His eyes were saying that. But even at this moment, the silence was scratching my eardrums and heart. I hid my trembling fingertips behind my back.
'Ariana.'
He knelt down beside the bed. Dante slowly opened his mouth again, keeping his eyes level.
'Can't you hear me?'
My heart pounded loudly. Dante had always considered my talent special. In my past life, and in this life.
"Talent is..."
"It's fascinating."
He looked at me as if he had encountered something dazzling. If he, who was like that, knew my ideal. If he knew that my ears were broken and I couldn't hear anything. Will you still treat me the same way after that?
"..."
A suffocating fear slowly crept in. If even the most beautiful song could only be heard as silence. If I could no longer create any music... Then what would become of my usefulness, my utility?
My body was shaking so much that I couldn't hide it any longer. Then a firm hand grabbed my trembling shoulder.
"Ariana."
His mouth again contained my name. Dante continued.
"It's okay."
No. I shouted Inwardly. How could I be okay when my greatest, perhaps only, value had disappeared?
I dropped my head as if collapsing. A terrible sense of helplessness overwhelmed my whole body, like a fish that had lost its gills, like a clown who had lost his ball forever. The next moment, I flinched and froze. Because a large hand was sweeping my back.
Dante looked lost in thought for a moment and then took out a memo from the nightstand. He handed me the memo with something written on it.
[I need to tell you my condition so I can take definitive action. Can't you hear me at all?]
I bit my lip until it hurt. I wanted to say no.
I'm not different. So there's nothing to worry about or be disappointed about. But | couldn't hide my condition forever. No matter how much I wanted to pretend it wasn't happening, this was a problem I couldn't do.
"..."
After a while, I nodded very slightly. Tears welled up in my eyes as I admitted it. I couldn't bring myself to look up and lowered my head. What kind of expression would Dante be making right now? Should I sigh and say, "As expected?" Should I click my tongue as if it were difficult? Or...
My eyes opened wide. Warm body temperature enveloped my body. Strongly as if he wouldn't give me time to think about anything else. He opened my palm and wrote on it.
'It's okay. Ariana.'
What on earth keeps saying it's okay? I sobbed and shook my head.
[The doctors came to visit you while you were asleep. They said there wasn't any serious damage to your eardrum. They said it would likely get better with time.]
I stared blankly at that sentence, Is it true? Did the doctors really say that? Dante never lies, so it had to be true. But... I thought for a long time and wrote in small letters.
[What if it doesn't get better?]
If It doesn't get better no matter how much time passes, then... Will you be disappointed in me then?
Dante moved his pen. I stared at the tip of the pen without even breathing. After a moment, he finished the sentence.
[If that happens, then I'll have to find a new way.]
The letters continued down the note.
[Even if it seems like there's no answer, there are actually more useful alternatives here and there in the world than you think. Always.]
[So even if, by some chance, you become deaf forever.]
My heart sank at the assumption Dante had written. I stared at the following sentence.
[The most important things will not change.]
I couldn't take my eyes off the completed sentence. Is that really true? Will things really change?
Even though I knew Dante would never lie, I couldn't easily believe his words. Dante continued to move his pen.
[The speed at which I write will definitely change quickly.]
I let out a breath without realizing it at the unexpected, pointless story. Half sigh and half laugh. His gaze lingered on my face and he wrote the last sentence.
[You will be okay. Don't doubt it.]
My eyes burned hotly at the indifferent handwriting. Only then did I raise my head and stare blankly at him. When our eyes met, Dante clicked his tongue as he looked at my eyes which were reddened. His long fingers ran over my wet eyes, but it was no use. More tears poured out. Dante frowned in embarrassment and wiped my tears more diligently. I liked that face. The sight of the person who was always so relaxed now being in trouble because of me was so good that my heart thumped and tears came to my eyes.
'I like you.'
My heart was swelling to the point where I couldn't deny it anymore. I liked this person. Every single look he gave me and every touch he made. Not only his facial features but also the fingers that wiped my tears and the calluses on his fingertips. Everything was so good that I couldn't bear it.
Dante brought a round medicine bottle from the nightstand this time. It seemed to be medicine prescribed by the doctor who had visited while I was sleeping. He put some sticky pink medicine on his fingertips and applied it to my ear. It was only a light touch, but my body flinched. When our eyes met, I saw Dante talking to himself.
'You've become more sensitive.'
At that moment, I realized. I couldn't hear his voice, but my other senses had become just as sensitive in place of my lost hearing. Embarrassed, I said as if making an excuse.
'Oh, no. It's okay.'
Dante opened his eyes slightly wide. He seemed surprised that he had noticed my monologue. He moved his mouth again.
'You're reading well. The shape of your lips.'
I nodded as I read it with my eyes wide open. Dante continued.
'You won't have any trouble conversing.'
He could understand it this time too. When I nodded again, Dante smiled broadly.
'You're talented at lip-reading.'
I opened my eyes wide. It seemed like I really had a talent for understanding even such words.
'Guess what I'm saying this time.'
He started a word-guessing game at an inopportune time. All the while, his hand continued to apply ointment to my ear. I had to try not to be caught as my body flinched and froze whenever he touched it. I guessed about five more words.
'You're really good.'
Dante said that and smiled brightly as he came closer. It wasn't just his eyesight that had become more sensitive. My sense of smell also caught his scent sensitively. My cheeks grew hot without me knowing it. His lips moved.
'Then guess what this means too.'
Was he having fun with this strange game?
The moment I thought that, he kissed my forehead. Then my cheek, the bridge of my nose... Finally, he came down a little further and lightly bit my lower lip.
"..."
My face heated up in an instant. He pulled away and stared at me with a strange smile. With a face that was waiting for an answer.
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