I was so dumbfounded that I couldn't even speak. And then, when I saw Noevian, who was reluctantly refusing to listen to such nonsense but was still trying to keep Blie by his side, my heart started to turn in a strange way.
“That’s good too, but...”
“...”
“People say that the Crown Prince’s birthday party is coming up soon.”
I stood up to cool down and headed to the living room connected to the dining room. It was a living room where people gathered on the sofa after a meal and had tea or a drink. I looked down at the dark outside and saw him reflected in the window. Before I knew it, Noevian had followed me and was approaching me. As if asking me to say more, he stared at me through the window.
“I heard it’s an event that all the capital’s nobles must attend...”
A large, warm palm wrapped around my shoulder. It felt so natural. It gave me goosebumps. The reception room was empty, and the hallways were quiet as if the loyal Jimsker had clearly bitten everyone.
“How long are you going to keep me hidden?”
"You..."
“I want to go as your partner. Not Count Acacia.”
“That won’t do.”
“Why?”
Noevian looked like he was having trouble explaining. Another unfamiliar look. An expression he never showed to Adrienne.
“A member of the royal family who hasn’t even finished his wife’s funeral, is attending the palace ball with his vassal’s wife as his partner?”
“The Count is so weak-hearted that he couldn’t even stand at the ball, let alone dance. Since Her Highness the Grand Duchess is literally not there, you could attend with one of your vassal’s wives who doesn’t have a partner.”
“Stop talking nonsense.”
He flatly refused as if he didn't need to hear anymore.
“So you’re saying it’s okay to participate with other people?”
I decided to slowly scratch Noevian.
'I will help you until the day Adrienne's body is identified. I also cannot understand the Grand Duke who met you while leaving Adrienne behind, and I am angry at him. But I think helping you is enough punishment for that.'
'I can help you in any way I can, other than killing you. Use me however you can.'
'Until the day comes when I can help, I will actively cooperate as well.'
'Do not mess with the Grand Duke of Trovika until you find something that will definitely bring him down.'
I recalled what Rhodnes had said while treating my hand that day when I was filled with anger and despair. If it was the Crown Prince's birthday party, Rhodnes, his younger brother, would attend as well. He had asked me to use him, so if I attended as his partner, I would attract people's attention.
'How would you feel if the second Prince, who is not on good terms with you, and your government were partners?'
I wanted to know what made Noevian despair. First of all, I was curious about what kind of face he would make when he realized that Blie, whom he thought was his, had another man and was out of his influence. Should I kill Noevian later? Wouldn't it be too unfair for me if he died easily?
“Huh, what?”
He stopped rubbing my shoulder with his hand as if he was angry and roughly turned my body around. His deep blue eyes were looking down at me.
“Did I hear that wrong?”
“What good will it do if you buy me such pretty clothes? The man who wears them is not very good.”
Those were the exact words that targeted Count Acacia. Noevian kept his mouth shut.
“Did I hear wrong that day?”
“...”
“The Adrienne I could never have. The Adrienne I will never be able to have...”
"...Stop."
“I want you.”
I made Adrienne's face and whispered to him. Noevian's blue eyes shook greatly.
“I want you, I want you.”
What he said to stop was what he said before, not what Blie is saying now.
“Can't I do that?”
“Blie...”
If it were Blie, wouldn’t she have pushed Adrienne aside and wanted to have this man all to herself?
'I thought I was using what I learned well, but wasn't I?'
It was my first time showing my writings to him, so I was embarrassed. Eventually, unable to bear the strangely heavy air, I opened my mouth to Rhodnes, who was standing still like a scene from a famous painting.
“Is Your Highness attending as well?”
Rhodnes looked up, startled as if someone had pushed him. His eyes, which looked like red lights in the golden dust, slowly scanned me before quickly moving to my task.
“...Where are you talking about?”
“It’s His Highness the Crown Prince’s birthday party.”
"...Maybe."
Was I so bad at writing? His hardened face did not soften.
“He's your brother, so ‘maybe’?”
“More than that, I think I gave you other assignments besides writing.”
As if it was a topic he didn't want to talk about, Rhodnes changed the subject.
“Of course you did. It’s under the book you’re looking at now. By the way, are you attending the birthday party or not? I think it would be helpful if you could tell me more clearly.”
"Hmm..."
“I’m not sure, but I’ll try to attend with Grand Duke Trovika.”
“Did he ask for it?”
When the calm and composed eyebrows slightly twisted, I hurriedly waved my hand away. I wanted to avoid the stern face, but I didn't want to face an angry face.
“No! I asked because I thought it might be helpful for me to be in the social circle with him later on. I haven’t gotten permission yet, though.”
“I don’t really want to attend.”
“..Why?”
The eyebrows of Rhodnes, who had been quietly listening, tremble slightly.
“If I had to pick one, Adrienne was someone who couldn’t do anything. She couldn’t even graduate from the academy she had finally entered. She just made up an excuse about being sick and lay at home, taking medicine...”
“...There is no reason for her to be treated like that by you.”
“They say she couldn’t do anything by herself. She was the kind of person who had to hold on to something to eat, drink tea, or even just stand.”
“...This is all for class today.”
Rhodnes's face, which had been frozen the whole time, now looked genuinely angry.
“That’s good too, but...”
“...”
“People say that the Crown Prince’s birthday party is coming up soon.”
I stood up to cool down and headed to the living room connected to the dining room. It was a living room where people gathered on the sofa after a meal and had tea or a drink. I looked down at the dark outside and saw him reflected in the window. Before I knew it, Noevian had followed me and was approaching me. As if asking me to say more, he stared at me through the window.
“I heard it’s an event that all the capital’s nobles must attend...”
A large, warm palm wrapped around my shoulder. It felt so natural. It gave me goosebumps. The reception room was empty, and the hallways were quiet as if the loyal Jimsker had clearly bitten everyone.
“How long are you going to keep me hidden?”
"You..."
“I want to go as your partner. Not Count Acacia.”
“That won’t do.”
“Why?”
Noevian looked like he was having trouble explaining. Another unfamiliar look. An expression he never showed to Adrienne.
“A member of the royal family who hasn’t even finished his wife’s funeral, is attending the palace ball with his vassal’s wife as his partner?”
“The Count is so weak-hearted that he couldn’t even stand at the ball, let alone dance. Since Her Highness the Grand Duchess is literally not there, you could attend with one of your vassal’s wives who doesn’t have a partner.”
“Stop talking nonsense.”
He flatly refused as if he didn't need to hear anymore.
“So you’re saying it’s okay to participate with other people?”
I decided to slowly scratch Noevian.
'I will help you until the day Adrienne's body is identified. I also cannot understand the Grand Duke who met you while leaving Adrienne behind, and I am angry at him. But I think helping you is enough punishment for that.'
'I can help you in any way I can, other than killing you. Use me however you can.'
'Until the day comes when I can help, I will actively cooperate as well.'
'Do not mess with the Grand Duke of Trovika until you find something that will definitely bring him down.'
I recalled what Rhodnes had said while treating my hand that day when I was filled with anger and despair. If it was the Crown Prince's birthday party, Rhodnes, his younger brother, would attend as well. He had asked me to use him, so if I attended as his partner, I would attract people's attention.
'How would you feel if the second Prince, who is not on good terms with you, and your government were partners?'
I wanted to know what made Noevian despair. First of all, I was curious about what kind of face he would make when he realized that Blie, whom he thought was his, had another man and was out of his influence. Should I kill Noevian later? Wouldn't it be too unfair for me if he died easily?
“Huh, what?”
He stopped rubbing my shoulder with his hand as if he was angry and roughly turned my body around. His deep blue eyes were looking down at me.
“Did I hear that wrong?”
“What good will it do if you buy me such pretty clothes? The man who wears them is not very good.”
Those were the exact words that targeted Count Acacia. Noevian kept his mouth shut.
“Did I hear wrong that day?”
“...”
“The Adrienne I could never have. The Adrienne I will never be able to have...”
"...Stop."
“I want you.”
I made Adrienne's face and whispered to him. Noevian's blue eyes shook greatly.
“I want you, I want you.”
What he said to stop was what he said before, not what Blie is saying now.
“Can't I do that?”
“Blie...”
If it were Blie, wouldn’t she have pushed Adrienne aside and wanted to have this man all to herself?
That’s why she would have talked about wanting to be a Grand Duchess without even knowing the subject. A woman who loves attention and fancy things so much wouldn’t want to wear the best decoration called Noevian at a ball. That’s probably why she liked him in the first place.
Noevian’s eyes, which were holding my shoulder, shook without mercy, and my heart also became a candle in the wind. Noevian, seen through Blie’s eyes, was so new. Even though we had been a couple for two years, he showed this woman a face I had never seen before.
“... This time it will be difficult. But I will think of a way for us to be together soon. Since the Count is not in the capital, I think it would be better to say you are not feeling well and rest.”
And soon I was embraced by a familiar embrace. Ah, a familiar scent. A familiar chest. Strong arms that hugged me as if my body was going to burst. My heart has been burning like an unquenchable fire ever since I read Blie’s diary, but why...
“... This time it will be difficult. But I will think of a way for us to be together soon. Since the Count is not in the capital, I think it would be better to say you are not feeling well and rest.”
And soon I was embraced by a familiar embrace. Ah, a familiar scent. A familiar chest. Strong arms that hugged me as if my body was going to burst. My heart has been burning like an unquenchable fire ever since I read Blie’s diary, but why...
Why am I shedding tears like this?
***
The next day.
Rhodnes and I were studying inside the Restaurant Zendica as we always did. Of course, it was a private space surrounded by walls on all sides. The window, with its thin chiffon curtains, faced the backyard where no one passed by, and on days like today when we met earlier than usual, the sunlight reached Rhodnes like a light shining on him.
I watched the golden dust floating along his shiny hair and then lowered my gaze to his thick collarbone, his awkward posture as he sat on a small chair, and the quill he held quite neatly in his hand despite his posture. His hand, large enough to make my quill look like a child’s, was slightly tanned, but his knuckles were thick and long, and pretty.
Rhodnes’ face, which had been staring at my writing assignment for a very long time and thinking about something, was gradually hardening.
'I thought I was using what I learned well, but wasn't I?'
It was my first time showing my writings to him, so I was embarrassed. Eventually, unable to bear the strangely heavy air, I opened my mouth to Rhodnes, who was standing still like a scene from a famous painting.
“Is Your Highness attending as well?”
Rhodnes looked up, startled as if someone had pushed him. His eyes, which looked like red lights in the golden dust, slowly scanned me before quickly moving to my task.
“...Where are you talking about?”
“It’s His Highness the Crown Prince’s birthday party.”
"...Maybe."
Was I so bad at writing? His hardened face did not soften.
“He's your brother, so ‘maybe’?”
“More than that, I think I gave you other assignments besides writing.”
As if it was a topic he didn't want to talk about, Rhodnes changed the subject.
“Of course you did. It’s under the book you’re looking at now. By the way, are you attending the birthday party or not? I think it would be helpful if you could tell me more clearly.”
"Hmm..."
“I’m not sure, but I’ll try to attend with Grand Duke Trovika.”
“Did he ask for it?”
When the calm and composed eyebrows slightly twisted, I hurriedly waved my hand away. I wanted to avoid the stern face, but I didn't want to face an angry face.
“No! I asked because I thought it might be helpful for me to be in the social circle with him later on. I haven’t gotten permission yet, though.”
“I don’t really want to attend.”
“..Why?”
The eyebrows of Rhodnes, who had been quietly listening, tremble slightly.
Embarrassment? Contempt? He stared at my face with a strange expression on his face, and let out a low sigh with his eyes burning.
“I haven’t been to a single ball since the Grand Duke and Adrienne were married.”
“...Is that so?”
I just found out. Now that I think about it, he was the Crown Prince's full brother, and he didn't seem to show up at balls very often. In the first place, he didn't show up at events that much, so much so that the gossip called him the 'veiled Prince.'
“Thanks to that, I couldn’t see Adrienne entering the party hall with the Grand Duke.”
"Yes...?"
“I think that’s fortunate.”
He seemed lost in thought for a moment, his eyes clouded over, then he chuckled.
“Just thinking about it for a moment makes my heart break, so I’ll stop here.”
After a while, he shut his mouth tightly. It felt like his heart was being torn apart. It was quite emotional for him, who always seemed to be speaking roughly, but who always taught honestly.
“What does that have to do with the Grand Duke and my attendance?”
“...You and the Grand Duke. It would be unpleasant for the two of you to be in the party hall together.”
“What is that...”
He placed the textbook he had on the table with a thud and placed the quill he was holding on top of it. His heavily sunken red eyes turned to the things he had put down.
“What would Adrienne think if she saw that?”
“!”
“If I just think about how sad and angry Adrienne would be if she saw that scene alive...”
He then stared at me with eyes full of emotions. Rhodnes sometimes sees the real 'Adrienne' in me. That must be why someone so fearsome is being polite to me. And at the same time, he looks at Blie's face and gets quietly angry. That face that had despised me when he saw my secret meeting with Noevian on the day of the victory celebration sometimes popped up.
“I haven’t been to a single ball since the Grand Duke and Adrienne were married.”
“...Is that so?”
I just found out. Now that I think about it, he was the Crown Prince's full brother, and he didn't seem to show up at balls very often. In the first place, he didn't show up at events that much, so much so that the gossip called him the 'veiled Prince.'
“Thanks to that, I couldn’t see Adrienne entering the party hall with the Grand Duke.”
"Yes...?"
“I think that’s fortunate.”
He seemed lost in thought for a moment, his eyes clouded over, then he chuckled.
“Just thinking about it for a moment makes my heart break, so I’ll stop here.”
After a while, he shut his mouth tightly. It felt like his heart was being torn apart. It was quite emotional for him, who always seemed to be speaking roughly, but who always taught honestly.
“What does that have to do with the Grand Duke and my attendance?”
“...You and the Grand Duke. It would be unpleasant for the two of you to be in the party hall together.”
“What is that...”
He placed the textbook he had on the table with a thud and placed the quill he was holding on top of it. His heavily sunken red eyes turned to the things he had put down.
“What would Adrienne think if she saw that?”
“!”
“If I just think about how sad and angry Adrienne would be if she saw that scene alive...”
He then stared at me with eyes full of emotions. Rhodnes sometimes sees the real 'Adrienne' in me. That must be why someone so fearsome is being polite to me. And at the same time, he looks at Blie's face and gets quietly angry. That face that had despised me when he saw my secret meeting with Noevian on the day of the victory celebration sometimes popped up.
He gripped his pen tightly again. His expression was neither crying nor laughing. His clenched teeth and trembling chin told me so.
“...If Adrienne saw that, she would collapse in shock.”
I froze at his gaze as he studied my expression with silent anger, then snorted silently.
'Yeah. If it were me a few days ago, it would have been like that for sure.'
If only this damned Blie hadn't felt sorry for me. If only there hadn't been a reasonable suspicion that Noevian might have been involved in my death. Even now, I'm clearly sad and in pain. But the fire that burned so fiercely that it covered it up was anger. Anger that the person who I thought knew me best, the person who knew my desperate desire to live best, had given me death. He didn't stab me or put poison in my mouth.
“...If Adrienne saw that, she would collapse in shock.”
I froze at his gaze as he studied my expression with silent anger, then snorted silently.
'Yeah. If it were me a few days ago, it would have been like that for sure.'
If only this damned Blie hadn't felt sorry for me. If only there hadn't been a reasonable suspicion that Noevian might have been involved in my death. Even now, I'm clearly sad and in pain. But the fire that burned so fiercely that it covered it up was anger. Anger that the person who I thought knew me best, the person who knew my desperate desire to live best, had given me death. He didn't stab me or put poison in my mouth.
I don't know how or what he did to contribute to my death. But what's clear is that he had something to do with my death. At the very least, he wanted my death, even a little bit, even a little bit.
'You said that if by any chance I lose my wife, you will become my complete government.'
“...Where does it hurt?”
"No."
Rather, it was this beautiful Prince in front of me who always seemed to be in a little bit of pain. He taught me and watched me at the same time, holding anger and sadness at the same time. When Rhodnes, who had been giving me a strange vibe until just now, asked me a question as if he was looking into my head, I hurriedly shook my head.
'You said that if by any chance I lose my wife, you will become my complete government.'
“...Where does it hurt?”
"No."
Rather, it was this beautiful Prince in front of me who always seemed to be in a little bit of pain. He taught me and watched me at the same time, holding anger and sadness at the same time. When Rhodnes, who had been giving me a strange vibe until just now, asked me a question as if he was looking into my head, I hurriedly shook my head.
I guess I lost control of my expression for a moment. I tried to raise the corners of my mouth that had been down. I thought I had become numb, but I forgot the pain for a moment and all I wanted to do was kill and take revenge. The memories and happiness of the years I spent with him suddenly came back to me, pounding my heart thousands of times a day.
“...Why am I so stupid?”
“...”
I swallowed my bitter tears and lamented to Rhodnes, who seemed to be saying even more bitter things to me.
“...For an idiot, my Elacon language has improved a lot.”
But Rhodnes didn't scold me. Instead, he regained his composure and handed me a half-correct dictation test. He could have easily drawn a line across the wrong answer, but he had also drawn a pretty star on it. It wasn't a sign that meant I was wrong, but that I should try again. How sweet.
“...I have a question.”
“Please speak.”
He answered politely, despite his stern expression. Now I know that this is not true politeness. Blie Acacia is a confusing existence to him too. I sighed softly and opened my mouth.
“Why don’t you ask me?”
“...What do you mean?”
“How did I come to resemble the Grand Duchess so much? How did I meet the Grand Duke? What will I do with my life after getting divorced with Your Highness’ help?”
“...”
For a moment, Rhodnes, whose eyes were rippling with tears, froze for a long time and then smiled faintly. Although it was broad daylight, it was a smile like stars breaking apart.
“What does that mean?”
He seemed to be answering me, but he was mumbling to himself.
“Madam, your name is not Adrienne.”
He said that while staring at me intently as if observing me. His red eyes, which had been burning quietly since we first met, seemed to have solidified into boiling lava.
“...Why do you like Adrienne?”
Whenever she spoke of Adrienne, the man's perfectly icy face would crack.
"...There has to be a reason?”
He froze as if he had forgotten that I had called Adrienne, and then muttered absentmindedly. Even my husband cares more about Blie’s feelings than me, who is dead. Why on earth is this person?
“...Why am I so stupid?”
“...”
I swallowed my bitter tears and lamented to Rhodnes, who seemed to be saying even more bitter things to me.
“...For an idiot, my Elacon language has improved a lot.”
But Rhodnes didn't scold me. Instead, he regained his composure and handed me a half-correct dictation test. He could have easily drawn a line across the wrong answer, but he had also drawn a pretty star on it. It wasn't a sign that meant I was wrong, but that I should try again. How sweet.
“...I have a question.”
“Please speak.”
He answered politely, despite his stern expression. Now I know that this is not true politeness. Blie Acacia is a confusing existence to him too. I sighed softly and opened my mouth.
“Why don’t you ask me?”
“...What do you mean?”
“How did I come to resemble the Grand Duchess so much? How did I meet the Grand Duke? What will I do with my life after getting divorced with Your Highness’ help?”
“...”
For a moment, Rhodnes, whose eyes were rippling with tears, froze for a long time and then smiled faintly. Although it was broad daylight, it was a smile like stars breaking apart.
“What does that mean?”
He seemed to be answering me, but he was mumbling to himself.
“Madam, your name is not Adrienne.”
He said that while staring at me intently as if observing me. His red eyes, which had been burning quietly since we first met, seemed to have solidified into boiling lava.
“...Why do you like Adrienne?”
Whenever she spoke of Adrienne, the man's perfectly icy face would crack.
"...There has to be a reason?”
He froze as if he had forgotten that I had called Adrienne, and then muttered absentmindedly. Even my husband cares more about Blie’s feelings than me, who is dead. Why on earth is this person?
I continued to talk because I was so curious about the thoughts of this Prince who was even more foolish than me.
“If I had to pick one, Adrienne was someone who couldn’t do anything. She couldn’t even graduate from the academy she had finally entered. She just made up an excuse about being sick and lay at home, taking medicine...”
“...There is no reason for her to be treated like that by you.”
“They say she couldn’t do anything by herself. She was the kind of person who had to hold on to something to eat, drink tea, or even just stand.”
“...This is all for class today.”
Rhodnes's face, which had been frozen the whole time, now looked genuinely angry.
What did Adrienne say? Adrienne didn't even know you existed, so why would you react like you were being cursed at?
“I don’t even want to associate with you, who talks such nonsense...”
“...!”
“Nevertheless, I must say something.”
A thick vein rose up in his throat as if he had barely swallowed his anger. A strangely cold and chilling voice shot out at me like an arrow and pierced me.
“Adrienne is the most loving, wise, thoughtful, and courageous person I have ever met.”
“...You are mistaken.”
“No, I am right.”
How can you be so sure that you know something? Things no one has ever told him. It might be his last respect to the deceased.
“If you do not agree, I will not continue the class and I will not be with you in the future.”
"... Yes?"
I opened my eyes wide in surprise. There was no mercy in Rhodnes' perfectly sculpted face.
“I cannot be with someone who insults Adrienne.”
“...”
It's amazing. If you ask anyone, they'll agree that what I'm saying is true. What I'm saying isn't my personal opinion, it's a 'fact'. It's the most truthful fact that I can guarantee.
“What you just said. Take it back.”
The beautiful face that had occasionally taken on a longing glow was frozen solid without a single crack. I am clearly fighting with this person. I should snap back, but I can't. I was just telling the truth, Adrienne is already dead.
“...Aren’t you going to do it?”
A voice that is rarely overbearing. The brightly shining eyes are the eyes of the one who rules.
It was an overwhelming force as if demanding complete submission from prey that could be swallowed in one bite.
"... I do."
But rather than being scared, I somehow felt a tingle in my nose and touched it with a trembling hand. If I didn’t, I felt like I would cry. This man, like a beast who had hidden his claws for a moment, thought of Adrienne, who was no longer there, rather than the Blie before his eyes. The Adrienne he never had. The Adrienne he would never have.
“...I’ll cancel it.”
And at the same time, my heart kept getting strange. The words of this man, who said that he didn’t attend his brother’s birthday party because he couldn’t stand seeing Adrienne and Noevian together, kept gnawing at my heart. The voice that said that Adrienne would be sad to see Blie and Noevian together was cold, but to me, it was the words I wanted to hear more than anything else. When the gnawing feeling swept over my whole body, words came out of my mouth without thinking.
“I will cancel it... Then, Your Highness, would you like to come to the birthday party together?”
Although I had planned what I was going to say before I met him, the way my heart fluttered as I said it was completely unexpected.
“I don’t even want to associate with you, who talks such nonsense...”
“...!”
“Nevertheless, I must say something.”
A thick vein rose up in his throat as if he had barely swallowed his anger. A strangely cold and chilling voice shot out at me like an arrow and pierced me.
“Adrienne is the most loving, wise, thoughtful, and courageous person I have ever met.”
“...You are mistaken.”
“No, I am right.”
How can you be so sure that you know something? Things no one has ever told him. It might be his last respect to the deceased.
“If you do not agree, I will not continue the class and I will not be with you in the future.”
"... Yes?"
I opened my eyes wide in surprise. There was no mercy in Rhodnes' perfectly sculpted face.
“I cannot be with someone who insults Adrienne.”
“...”
It's amazing. If you ask anyone, they'll agree that what I'm saying is true. What I'm saying isn't my personal opinion, it's a 'fact'. It's the most truthful fact that I can guarantee.
“What you just said. Take it back.”
The beautiful face that had occasionally taken on a longing glow was frozen solid without a single crack. I am clearly fighting with this person. I should snap back, but I can't. I was just telling the truth, Adrienne is already dead.
“...Aren’t you going to do it?”
A voice that is rarely overbearing. The brightly shining eyes are the eyes of the one who rules.
It was an overwhelming force as if demanding complete submission from prey that could be swallowed in one bite.
"... I do."
But rather than being scared, I somehow felt a tingle in my nose and touched it with a trembling hand. If I didn’t, I felt like I would cry. This man, like a beast who had hidden his claws for a moment, thought of Adrienne, who was no longer there, rather than the Blie before his eyes. The Adrienne he never had. The Adrienne he would never have.
“...I’ll cancel it.”
And at the same time, my heart kept getting strange. The words of this man, who said that he didn’t attend his brother’s birthday party because he couldn’t stand seeing Adrienne and Noevian together, kept gnawing at my heart. The voice that said that Adrienne would be sad to see Blie and Noevian together was cold, but to me, it was the words I wanted to hear more than anything else. When the gnawing feeling swept over my whole body, words came out of my mouth without thinking.
“I will cancel it... Then, Your Highness, would you like to come to the birthday party together?”
Although I had planned what I was going to say before I met him, the way my heart fluttered as I said it was completely unexpected.
Support Novellate!
Comments
Post a Comment