HTMSAE - Prologue

'I can't stand it anymore, I can't stand it anymore.'

In the depths of the night when even evil spirits must have fallen asleep, a woman in white muslin pajamas appeared from a corner of the quiet imperial palace hallway. 

It was such an abrupt appearance, like a ghost, that no one could tell where she had appeared.

She gasped for breath, leaning against the hallway wall and slowly taking steps forward.

Even after everything was over, her excruciating nightmare showed no signs of stopping. Ines consoled herself that it was okay, and grabbed her throat with her hand as she usually did. However, no matter how hard she tried, today was worse than other days. 

If she just endured a little longer, the terrible fear would pass and her breathing would stabilize. In her head, she knew it, but whenever she had difficulty breathing, Ines felt like she was going to die.
The place where she stayed was on the same floor as the Emperor’s bedroom.
Her room was hidden in a place that could not be seen from the outside. The visits of the servants and maids who stayed to attend to the Emperor’s urgent needs at any time were all invisible from the hallway.

No one wanted to see the shabby side hidden behind the splendor of the empire that was stronger than ever. Not
even Ines who was staying in that room.

Ines slowly walked toward the Emperor’s room, pulling herself out of the empty space between the walls.

Emperor Carson von Raymond allowed Ines to enter his room at any time. It was his consideration, knowing better than anyone else how she suffered from the confusion and panic that came at any time. 

As Ines approached, the knight guarding the door knocked on the Emperor’s door. It was very late in the morning, but the answer came right away.

“Let me in.”

As soon as the words were out, Ines entered the room, and Carson began to run to the door as soon as he answered. The sight of the man, completely armed with pure white light, seemed to her like the door to heaven.

Ines slowly walked toward her safety. And she watched him reach out without missing a single moment.

His long hand would soon grab Ines’ arm. His wide arms would soon embrace her shoulder. His beautiful lips would soon tell her that it was okay.

Just that expectation made Ines’s breath gradually calm down. She made eye contact as if he was the only man in the world.

“It’s okay, Ines.”

As he stood facing her and grabbed her nose with his fingers, Ines met his eyes and breathed sharply through her mouth. Her pupils dilated, but her body, which had been shaking spasmodically, gradually became stable.

Carson took her to his bed. He collapsed down and held her in his arms, patting her on the back.

It was a simple action without a hint of selfishness.

How much time had passed? 

Finally, she took a deep breath like someone taking her last breath, and slowly pulled away from him.

There was no exchange of polite words such as apologies for visiting late at night and asking if everything was okay. Carson carefully examined Ines’ eyes and, when he decided that it was okay, walked to the table where the water jug ​​was.

The sound of pouring water filled the quiet room.

“I’ve decided.”

Carson laughed at the sudden, determined voice.

“What else?”

The sound of the water dripping sounded a little dull as if it was half full.

“I will be closest to Your Majesty for the rest of my life. A place where I will never leave.”

Drip, drip. 

The water in the jug stopped dripping from the emperor’s hand, and his back stiffened slightly.

“But you are not yet ready to be my woman...”

“I will be the chamberlain. I will definitely be!”

Surprised, Carson turned around to look at Ines, not even realizing that the water had already spilled back into the glass. The water was already overflowing onto the table.

“What... chamberlain?”

“The chamberlain.”

“You, have you become a man without me knowing?”

It was a serious concern for her, but she knew that it would sound funny to the Emperor. However, she was serious all along. If the chief maid was the one who could serve the Empress most closely, then the chief chamberlain was the one who could be closest to the Emperor.

“There is no document or law that says that the chamberlain must be a man.”

“Haven’t you ever thought that it is so obvious that it doesn’t even need to be written down in law?”

There were other obstacles besides her being a woman. The biggest problem, of course, was Ines’s status. Even the previous Emperor had elected his 7th cousin, a collateral imperial family member, as the chief chamberlain, and he was immediately given the title of Count.

“Tell me that you would rather become the Empress.”

“Make fun of me as you wish. When I first said I would become an imperial maid, people said the same thing to me.”

The Emperor’s mouth fell shut at Ines’s words. Her words were true. No one could have predicted that Ines would rise from a criminal to a temple maid, then to a maid in the imperial palace, and even to a position in charge of the palace’s internal affairs. Although it wasn’t official, she was a real power.

“Ines, I will never make fun of you. Respect... I guess that’s another matter.”

She raised her head at the words. She smiled brightly as if his words implied permission.

“Are you serious?”

“That’s what I mean."

“Then please support me. I will definitely become the chief chamberlain.”

The chief chamberlain was one of the prime ministers and had the important responsibility of assisting the King’s work and supervising all the palace servants. That meant that she had absolutely no reason to leave the Emperor’s side. It wouldn’t have been strange at all for her to come to visit him in the middle of the night.

“But why do you live such a tiring life?”

“What do you mean?”

“Haven’t you ever thought that there might be an easier... way? For example...”

“Even if I’m not the chief chamberlain, I don’t care what I can do to stay close to Your Majesty. But in this situation, that’s the only perfect way for me to stay by Your Majesty’s side day and night. I have no other choice.”

Carson shook his head and drank some of the water in the cup and handed it to her. Ines took the water as if it were holy water and gulped it down.

Without looking at Ines, he asked in the most calm voice possible.

“Why don’t you just say that you’re... my concubine like people say? Your purpose is to be close to me. Then you can sleep next to me every night...”

The Emperor frowned at the sound of a breathless laugh.

“Why are you laughing?”

“How could I be Your Majesty’s concubine?”

“Why... You can’t?”

“Is Your Majesty a man?”

“Then what am I?”

Even as the Emperor’s voice became increasingly sinister, Ines drank the water in her hand.

“Don’t you know?”

“Am I your God?”

“Something like that?”

“Ha.”

“No, it’s even more certain than that. I can see you and you reach out to me. To me, you are higher than God.”

Carson laughed as if he was truly dumbfounded.

What believer in the world would talk back to God so bluntly?

“Is there anyone who feels like a man to you?”

He asked with a smirk and walked back to the table. When she drank the water, he felt his throat dry for no reason. Carson poured water into a glass as usual and quenched his thirst.

However, after taking one, two, or three sips, he realized that Ines had not responded. He turned around in surprise and saw the side profile of a woman lost in thought.

At dawn, sitting on his bed in white pajamas, the woman who had just been catching her breath in his arms, what was she thinking right now?

“Ines?”

“..."

“Ines!”

“Yes?”

“I think I asked you a question just now...?”

“Ah...”

Ines lifted her glass of water. It must have been an attempt to hide her expression, but since it was a glass, that was impossible in the first place.

“Actually...”

‘Actually?’ 

Carson’s heart beat irregularly at the beginning, which seemed to be confessing the truth.

“Tell me, don’t try to muddle through.”

The Emperor’s voice lowered even further, but Ines didn’t sense any particular mood. Her cheeks flushed for no reason, and she just smiled a little awkwardly.

“That’s... There’s someone who has been expressing good feelings toward me every other day. He knows that I have mental problems, but he doesn’t really care.”

“So...?”

“At first, I thought it would just end, but she’s been doing it pretty consistently.”

Carson took a deep breath, tensing his body, and his chin rose on its own.

“Do you... feel the same way?”

“I don’t think so, but I’m human too. Wouldn’t I be shaken? No tree in the world won’t fall after ten blows.”

Carson had always prided himself on knowing everything about Ines. But at this moment, all of that belief was shattered.

“There’s no tree that won’t fall after ten 

blows?”

“Huh? That’s just the saying...”

“Why isn’t there such a tree in the world?”

“What is that...?”

That’s why such rumors were going around among the people. The Emperor was wrapped up in Ines’s skirt and did everything according to her will.

When he was with her, Carson was not the Carson that everyone said was cold-blooded.

What was she talking about right now Where in the world is there such a tree? 

He couldn’t believe that he had asked such a childish question.

The Emperor looked down at the woman sitting on the bed and came closer so that their knees were touching.

He usually slept with his upper body naked because he was very hot, so he was half-naked.

The woman’s face, which showed no change even when he approached threateningly, had never scratched his emotions as much as it did today.

So he had no choice. He had no choice but to show her personally that there is a tree in this world that will not fall no matter how many times you hit it.

“Ines.”

When he called her kindly, her face naturally turned to him. Carson gently but quickly grabbed Ines’ chin. Her lips were bright red from the deep breath she had just taken.

“If there is?”

“Yes?”

Carson pressed his thumb down her flushed lips with a little force. Had he ever touched Ines like this?

“If there were such a tree in the world, what would you do then...?”

Carson took a deep breath, his face reddening not with shame but with embarrassment.

“If I find it, then let me do whatever I want.”

“Whatever you want?”

“Yes, anything.”

When she nodded as if in a trance, he smiled brightly. It was still pitch-black night, but Ines’ eyes were dazzled as if she had been struck by the morning sunlight. It was only a moment before his lips came close and engulfed Ines’s lips. The castle he had built so solidly between him and her came crashing down so easily with a thud.

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