[Hypocrite.]
The short words were too strong.
The handwriting that seemed to be scribbled at first glance was so smooth that it didn’t even show a moment of hesitation. The writing that was obviously written in a single stroke showed the strength and weakness of the force as if it had been pressed down hard in each curved part.
When Kaian stood there frozen, glaring at the word “hypocrite,” I hesitated and then closed the notebook and handed it to him.
“I’ll believe you.”
“...Yes?”
He responded slowly as if he couldn’t easily come out of his thoughts.
“You were thinking of making our baby your successor. I’ll believe you.”
“Yes.”
Kaian took the note, put it back where it was, and put the desk back where it was.
His stiff, stiff face didn’t relax easily.
‘He told me that he didn’t know why the King did this to us.’
The short words were too strong.
The handwriting that seemed to be scribbled at first glance was so smooth that it didn’t even show a moment of hesitation. The writing that was obviously written in a single stroke showed the strength and weakness of the force as if it had been pressed down hard in each curved part.
The rough handwriting of the head of Temnes’s family, who was pledging to give birth to a successor, seemed to mock and ridicule the words that were not that long.
Furthermore, it was written in a dark navy blue, like the deep sea, which was different from the black ink used by Kaian.
The navy blue ink seemed to have a unique sheen.
It was something only used by royalty.
“...The head of the family’s treasury?”
I asked, shaking my head.
Naturally, each family that had accumulated history, tradition, and wealth had its own secret space where they kept their precious things.
I don’t know for sure, but there was a space like that in the castle of Valmonde, and I didn’t even get to see it, right before the wedding, Irena told me that she saw a secret room in the Duke of Vermont’s office.
“Don’t be surprised, Claudel. This is a secret, but my father’s safe is the size of an office.”
So is that safe? Or just a hidden room?
I couldn’t bring myself to ask Irena, who was trying to share a little of her secret with me with her eyes wide open and an excited face.
Someone had touched a place in Temnes that no one but Kaian should know about.
Someone had left a trail, provoking people to believe that they had been to a place that no one but the rightful heir knew existed.
“That person is probably...”
Furthermore, it was written in a dark navy blue, like the deep sea, which was different from the black ink used by Kaian.
The navy blue ink seemed to have a unique sheen.
It was something only used by royalty.
“...The head of the family’s treasury?”
I asked, shaking my head.
Naturally, each family that had accumulated history, tradition, and wealth had its own secret space where they kept their precious things.
I don’t know for sure, but there was a space like that in the castle of Valmonde, and I didn’t even get to see it, right before the wedding, Irena told me that she saw a secret room in the Duke of Vermont’s office.
“Don’t be surprised, Claudel. This is a secret, but my father’s safe is the size of an office.”
So is that safe? Or just a hidden room?
I couldn’t bring myself to ask Irena, who was trying to share a little of her secret with me with her eyes wide open and an excited face.
Someone had touched a place in Temnes that no one but Kaian should know about.
Someone had left a trail, provoking people to believe that they had been to a place that no one but the rightful heir knew existed.
“That person is probably...”
When Kaian stood there frozen, glaring at the word “hypocrite,” I hesitated and then closed the notebook and handed it to him.
“I’ll believe you.”
“...Yes?”
He responded slowly as if he couldn’t easily come out of his thoughts.
“You were thinking of making our baby your successor. I’ll believe you.”
“Yes.”
Kaian took the note, put it back where it was, and put the desk back where it was.
His stiff, stiff face didn’t relax easily.
‘He told me that he didn’t know why the King did this to us.’
He didn’t understand, but he was confused, but he said he would tell me when he sorted it out.
It was a half-hearted apology, but his feelings for me were also true, so please accept it.
I replied that I would wait.
However, before Kaian could tell me, I felt like I had glimpsed a cross-section of the truth.
This wasn’t the bottom line he was trying to show me.
If he had shown me evidence that he intended to make the baby his successor, he would have hoped that I would feel relieved and trust him more.
However, the unexpected situation was embarrassing, and I felt like I had glimpsed Kaian’s delicate heart for a moment.
More than anything else, the fact that Kaian saw it at an unexpected moment reassured me.
‘Kaian is human, too.’
The basis for the judgment that he might do inhumane things as a great Duke and a lord was that he had once prepared for a territorial war.
It was hard to shake off the suspicion that a warrior who had fought a slaughter to protect his country would regard the life of a child with the blood of an enemy differently.
Since his panic and helplessness seemed humane, my anxious heart gradually improved. I wanted to trust Kaian, but I was afraid of trusting someone.
Maybe it wasn’t his fault.
It was my fundamental problem that I couldn’t just let my mind wander and grow up innocently.
The opportunity to run away with the child was sudden.
“The Duke is going hunting.”
Madame Repel was a prepared talent.
In the meantime, I learned through her that Valquiterre had told me that the baby had died and had deliberately made me hear the baby cry.
He hoped that I would roll through the pit of frustration and sharpen my resentment toward Kaian like a sharp knife. When I swung my short sword at Kaian, I had become Valquiterre's word.
Then, he sent this little baby out of the castle and even sent an assassination squad to kill him.
If Kaian hadn't come to rescue him that night, the baby might not have survived. In the end, the baby's survival was due to a lot of luck.
However, even that luck was obtained thanks to the sacrifice of Madame Repel, who spent her time hiding in a narrow and poor space every night, in case the King's orders came at any time under the cover of darkness.
'If not now, there might be no chance.'
The moment Madame Repel held the small vial of sleeping pills, I could feel how desperately I had been clinging to save my baby. The baby’s body, which I had to carry, was particularly heavy.
“This is the territory he governs.”
If it was difficult to avoid the King’s sword in the capital, it would not be easy to escape the lord’s pursuit in the territory.
Nevertheless, I thought that I had to take reckless actions for the baby, and my body moved almost on its own.
“Kaian. I am afraid of death.”
He stood for a moment with his hands still on the desk, then turned his head to look at me.
“That was the death I experienced. It was just the moment when everything ended.”
Death meant the end.
It took away all possibilities of getting better, changing, or transforming.
Sometimes, when the fresh scent of the trees surrounding the village of Plogne from my childhood came to mind and I longed for the villagers who had passed away, I thought of those people and felt guilty about even that.
Everyone was afraid of death, but I was not that afraid of my own death.
“I think I know for sure now. It’s okay if I’m wrong.”
So, even though I got Herzol, I was willing to marry into my enemy’s family because they said they would give me food.
“I go crazy when I think about someone who means something to me dying.”
When I heard Kaian swearing at the baby in my stomach, saying that it would be better to have a daughter in our situation and that it could be a problem if it was a son like Madame Repel said, I became completely crazy after that. I was so obsessed with protecting and guarding my baby that I couldn’t think of anything else.
Some people say death is eternal peace.
I had stepped on the threshold of peace when she got Herzol.
However, I couldn’t bear the death of someone else that I had to experience while I was alive. I couldn’t stand to see the people who had given me smiles and flowers starve to death, and I was afraid that my baby, who had no one to protect, would fall into the hands of a cruel father.
Kaian stepped in front of the woman who was looking up at him, kneeling on the floor to get Claudel eye level.
“Mom, Dad. Everyone in the village I knew is gone.”
The girl’s memories left a huge scar.
When Death began to open her mouth full of sharp teeth to take her life, Claudel reacted as if she was having a seizure just by the threat.
“Why didn’t you ask? You must have wondered. But you couldn’t ask me once.”
The act of asking and receiving an answer was itself an exchange of intention and information.
If he asked and the answer was the opposite of what Kaian truly wanted, she would have to give up the baby’s life in exchange for the answer.
He couldn’t ask that.
“What were you planning on doing by taking the child?”
Kaian asked in a slightly calmer voice.
“I left a letter. If it’s a boy, please come get it. But if not, please allow me to take it and leave.”
Claudel’s eyes were wet.
“I won’t show up in front of you again. I’ll make sure that Temnes’ reputation is not tarnished, so close your eyes to the fact that somewhere out there lives your red-haired child from Vermont.”
“I’m sorry, Claudel.”
Kaian caressed her small cheek where tears were streaming down.
On the one hand, he felt resentful.
After all, she had chosen the baby over him.
Claudel was not the one Kaian could choose, but she had treated him that way.
On the other hand, he had learned that it was too easy to win over such a woman. He realized that simply acknowledging the baby and ensuring the safety of her and her child would be enough to bind them to him for life.
“How can I make you trust me?”
Claudel placed her hand on the back of Kaian’s hand that was cupping her cheek and closed her eyes.
“Tell me first.”
“What?”
“It’s not that you hate me. It’s not that you think of Vermont as an enemy.”
She shrugged her shoulders as if she was nervous.
“Don’t say things that draw a line and push me away. I believe that’s what you really mean.”
“It was useless to try to be nice to me.”
“You’re the Duke of Temnes. Because someone like that wouldn’t say anything.”
“I won’t. I’ll try to make you trust me.”
Kaian wiped her tears away with his thumb on her cheek and hugged her tightly.
“I want you to trust me too.”
It was his earnest wish.
The buffalo hunt was an impromptu affair.
There was a bit of a commotion right after the lord returned, saying that his wife had disappeared overnight.
However, in Rowen Castle, where there had been a big fuss when Claudel disappeared in the past, the atmosphere was such that they said it was a misunderstanding and passed it off as a minor incident when daybreak. The butler’s expression was not so good as he reported what had happened while Kaian was away.
“I received the news from the capital through messenger.”
“A messenger?”
“The telegrams have stopped.”
Kaian frowned at the butler’s words.
“The telegrams have stopped? How many days have they been?”
“It’s been since you left for hunting. It seems like the King has tampered with the telegram office.”
Kaian squinted his eyes and leaned back in his chair.
“Well, it’s fine. It won’t be a big loss. If they’ve tampered with the telegram office, news from here won’t be easily transmitted to the royal palace.”
“Moreover, I heard that the King is preparing for war.”
Kaian chuckled.
“Preparing for war? Aren’t we already done?”
It was a half-hearted apology, but his feelings for me were also true, so please accept it.
I replied that I would wait.
However, before Kaian could tell me, I felt like I had glimpsed a cross-section of the truth.
This wasn’t the bottom line he was trying to show me.
If he had shown me evidence that he intended to make the baby his successor, he would have hoped that I would feel relieved and trust him more.
However, the unexpected situation was embarrassing, and I felt like I had glimpsed Kaian’s delicate heart for a moment.
More than anything else, the fact that Kaian saw it at an unexpected moment reassured me.
‘Kaian is human, too.’
The basis for the judgment that he might do inhumane things as a great Duke and a lord was that he had once prepared for a territorial war.
It was hard to shake off the suspicion that a warrior who had fought a slaughter to protect his country would regard the life of a child with the blood of an enemy differently.
Since his panic and helplessness seemed humane, my anxious heart gradually improved. I wanted to trust Kaian, but I was afraid of trusting someone.
Maybe it wasn’t his fault.
It was my fundamental problem that I couldn’t just let my mind wander and grow up innocently.
The opportunity to run away with the child was sudden.
“The Duke is going hunting.”
Madame Repel was a prepared talent.
In the meantime, I learned through her that Valquiterre had told me that the baby had died and had deliberately made me hear the baby cry.
He hoped that I would roll through the pit of frustration and sharpen my resentment toward Kaian like a sharp knife. When I swung my short sword at Kaian, I had become Valquiterre's word.
Then, he sent this little baby out of the castle and even sent an assassination squad to kill him.
If Kaian hadn't come to rescue him that night, the baby might not have survived. In the end, the baby's survival was due to a lot of luck.
However, even that luck was obtained thanks to the sacrifice of Madame Repel, who spent her time hiding in a narrow and poor space every night, in case the King's orders came at any time under the cover of darkness.
'If not now, there might be no chance.'
The moment Madame Repel held the small vial of sleeping pills, I could feel how desperately I had been clinging to save my baby. The baby’s body, which I had to carry, was particularly heavy.
“This is the territory he governs.”
If it was difficult to avoid the King’s sword in the capital, it would not be easy to escape the lord’s pursuit in the territory.
Nevertheless, I thought that I had to take reckless actions for the baby, and my body moved almost on its own.
“Kaian. I am afraid of death.”
He stood for a moment with his hands still on the desk, then turned his head to look at me.
“That was the death I experienced. It was just the moment when everything ended.”
Death meant the end.
It took away all possibilities of getting better, changing, or transforming.
Sometimes, when the fresh scent of the trees surrounding the village of Plogne from my childhood came to mind and I longed for the villagers who had passed away, I thought of those people and felt guilty about even that.
Everyone was afraid of death, but I was not that afraid of my own death.
“I think I know for sure now. It’s okay if I’m wrong.”
So, even though I got Herzol, I was willing to marry into my enemy’s family because they said they would give me food.
“I go crazy when I think about someone who means something to me dying.”
When I heard Kaian swearing at the baby in my stomach, saying that it would be better to have a daughter in our situation and that it could be a problem if it was a son like Madame Repel said, I became completely crazy after that. I was so obsessed with protecting and guarding my baby that I couldn’t think of anything else.
Some people say death is eternal peace.
I had stepped on the threshold of peace when she got Herzol.
However, I couldn’t bear the death of someone else that I had to experience while I was alive. I couldn’t stand to see the people who had given me smiles and flowers starve to death, and I was afraid that my baby, who had no one to protect, would fall into the hands of a cruel father.
Kaian stepped in front of the woman who was looking up at him, kneeling on the floor to get Claudel eye level.
“Mom, Dad. Everyone in the village I knew is gone.”
The girl’s memories left a huge scar.
When Death began to open her mouth full of sharp teeth to take her life, Claudel reacted as if she was having a seizure just by the threat.
“Why didn’t you ask? You must have wondered. But you couldn’t ask me once.”
The act of asking and receiving an answer was itself an exchange of intention and information.
If he asked and the answer was the opposite of what Kaian truly wanted, she would have to give up the baby’s life in exchange for the answer.
He couldn’t ask that.
“What were you planning on doing by taking the child?”
Kaian asked in a slightly calmer voice.
“I left a letter. If it’s a boy, please come get it. But if not, please allow me to take it and leave.”
Claudel’s eyes were wet.
“I won’t show up in front of you again. I’ll make sure that Temnes’ reputation is not tarnished, so close your eyes to the fact that somewhere out there lives your red-haired child from Vermont.”
“I’m sorry, Claudel.”
Kaian caressed her small cheek where tears were streaming down.
On the one hand, he felt resentful.
After all, she had chosen the baby over him.
Claudel was not the one Kaian could choose, but she had treated him that way.
On the other hand, he had learned that it was too easy to win over such a woman. He realized that simply acknowledging the baby and ensuring the safety of her and her child would be enough to bind them to him for life.
“How can I make you trust me?”
Claudel placed her hand on the back of Kaian’s hand that was cupping her cheek and closed her eyes.
“Tell me first.”
“What?”
“It’s not that you hate me. It’s not that you think of Vermont as an enemy.”
She shrugged her shoulders as if she was nervous.
“Don’t say things that draw a line and push me away. I believe that’s what you really mean.”
“It was useless to try to be nice to me.”
“You’re the Duke of Temnes. Because someone like that wouldn’t say anything.”
“I won’t. I’ll try to make you trust me.”
Kaian wiped her tears away with his thumb on her cheek and hugged her tightly.
“I want you to trust me too.”
It was his earnest wish.
***
The buffalo hunt was an impromptu affair.
There was a bit of a commotion right after the lord returned, saying that his wife had disappeared overnight.
However, in Rowen Castle, where there had been a big fuss when Claudel disappeared in the past, the atmosphere was such that they said it was a misunderstanding and passed it off as a minor incident when daybreak. The butler’s expression was not so good as he reported what had happened while Kaian was away.
“I received the news from the capital through messenger.”
“A messenger?”
“The telegrams have stopped.”
Kaian frowned at the butler’s words.
“The telegrams have stopped? How many days have they been?”
“It’s been since you left for hunting. It seems like the King has tampered with the telegram office.”
Kaian squinted his eyes and leaned back in his chair.
“Well, it’s fine. It won’t be a big loss. If they’ve tampered with the telegram office, news from here won’t be easily transmitted to the royal palace.”
“Moreover, I heard that the King is preparing for war.”
Kaian chuckled.
“Preparing for war? Aren’t we already done?”
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