“You’re here?”
Kaian was seized by a feeling of his soul being pierced.
After Claudel disappeared, he suffered from auditory hallucinations every time he entered this room. When he opened the door, it felt like the person who had smiled warmly would greet him, and that she would ask if he was coming now or if he had eaten dinner.
After Claudel disappeared, he suffered from auditory hallucinations every time he entered this room. When he opened the door, it felt like the person who had smiled warmly would greet him, and that she would ask if he was coming now or if he had eaten dinner.
Even though he knew that no one was inside, he would knock on the door and stand there for no reason. He missed the warmth of the woman who sat in the sunny seat by the window, looking outside, and humming, and the warmth of her body that would gently embrace him when he reached out.
Then, suddenly, like a hallucination, he thought he saw the end of a dress disappearing into the dressing room, and he thought he really heard a voice in the night breeze.
However, when he realized that the things he had been seeing and hearing were memories left behind by the woman who had stayed by his side every day and then disappeared, he cried all night until dawn.
The pain that tore through his chest was unbearable.
“Why aren’t you coming in?”
“Just. Just a little.”
When Claudel looked at the soldier standing in front of her room with a menacing look on his face, Kaian finally went into the room and closed the door.
When he came in, Claudel slowly walked to the table by the window and sat down on the chair. Her face was filled with exhaustion.
“What about dinner?”
“I was thinking of eating together.”
“Whew. I’m not really hungry.”
Claudel blinked her eyes lazily.
“You should eat properly.”
“I had lunch and tea. But I’m tired because I’m busy.”
Kaian couldn’t take his eyes off Claudel, who was sitting in her usual seat by the window.
Her long red hair, illuminated by the red sunset as the sun was about to set, sparkled like the wings of a blazing phoenix and flowed down her shoulders and back.
“Come and sit down. Why are you still standing?”
“Ugh.”
Kaian hesitated and slowly headed to the seat opposite her.
However, seeing Claudel greet him so blandly made him feel a little disappointed.
'You're upset.'
It was a ridiculous feeling.
It was only five days ago that he thought he might never see her in this room again.
If she said she wouldn't leave the palace, if she was happier staying by Valquiterre's side, he thought he would do that.
But Kaian acted awkwardly because he felt something was missing.
When he pulled out a chair and didn't sit down, but instead stood still with his hands on the backrest, Claudel felt tired and tried to firm up her heavy eyelids.
"What's wrong?"
There was nothing wrong with the chair, but Kaian's mood was the problem.
"Can I hug you?"
"Yes?"
"If it's not uncomfortable."
Claudel laughed incredulously.
"Why would you ask such a thing? You did whatever you wanted on the ship."
When he realized that she wasn't drawing a line with him, he finally felt relieved. When Kaian stood and spread his arms, Claudel got up, placed her hands on the table, approached him, and rested her head on his chest.
When he hugged her, it felt like he was holding a bouquet of red flowers in full bloom.
Kaian savored Claudel’s scent.
“I feel like I can breathe now.”
“Lies. You must have lived well all your life.”
“Do you see it?”
Kaian was very careful, worried that her still-too-thin body might get hurt if he hugged her tightly. He released his arms and lowered his head, and his eyes met with the golden eyes that were looking up at him.
The lovely eyes that reflected the blazing light of the sunset were more beautiful than ever, stimulating Kaian’s lust. An unauthorized desire passed through him as he saw her, who had been thin and pale, wrapped in a layer of gentle light.
“Claudel.”
He only called her name softly, but Claudel flinched and tried to pull back as if she had sensed something that could not be hidden.
“I want to kiss you.”
“...”
“If you don’t mind.”
Claudel furrowed her eyebrows as if she was displeased.
“You’re weird.”
“What’s weird?”
“You always acted however you wanted.”
“Didn’t you hate that?”
She hesitated, not answering right away.
“I would never do something you don’t like.”
He tried to appeal to Claudel that he was different from before.
“I don’t want you to misunderstand or be hurt.”
“...I never disliked you.”
Claudel’s cheeks took on a beautiful color.
“When did I ever hate anything?”
A soft muttering sound flew into his ears clearly.
Kaian carefully bit her lips.
"...”
He let go for a moment as Claudel took a deep breath, then lowered his head even lower and found the lips he had just wet. He could hear the sound of wet flesh sticking together and falling as they breathed.
Kaian couldn’t come to his senses.
“Dinner... You should eat, right?”
Claudel said in a barely audible voice as she hugged him.
“I’m not really hungry either.”
He had a few pieces of bread for lunch.
His body was so big that his head was sticking out more than others, so he ate a lot.
The other knights ate just as well, so he didn’t really realize that he ate more, but it was true that he ate more than Claudel.
‘Until a moment ago, I was wondering what to feed her for dinner.’
He didn’t think about it at all.
It seemed as if he was completely focused on kissing the gap between her small and tender lips that made him thirsty.
Kaian suddenly hugged her.
When Claudel let out a surprised sound, Kaian ignored her and put her down on the bed.
“Kaian.”
“Why?”
“Because I’m not feeling well yet.”
“I know.”
Claudel’s face hardened a little as she watched him roughly take off his jacket, tie, and whatever he could reach as if he were going to tear them halfway.
“I won’t. I won’t do anything you don’t want.”
Was trust this hard to gain?
“I just wanted to hold you a little. That’s okay.”
“Who decides that it’s okay...?”
Claudel’s objection did not become an obstacle between them.
In the soft bed with a familiar feel, Claudel slowly melted every time Kaian exhaled hot breath.
He barely managed to separate his lips from hers, which he didn’t want to part with, as she pushed her chest out as if she was out of breath.
Claudel, who was lying under the arm of the bed as if trapped, looked at him with a face like a red ripe fruit.
Even if he just bites it lightly, it will give off a sweet scent. She tempted him.
However, he knew very well that Claudel’s health was still far from good.
Didn’t they say that good intentions are worse than the health of an old man who is dying?
He realized more than anyone else that the fact that this woman had recovered her energy to this extent was a miracle brought on by a baby.
Even knowing that.
“...I’m going crazy.”
His body was itching to do something to Claudel.
It was natural to want to taste her lips when holding her and to touch other parts after kissing her.
Claudel reached out and touched his face. Her hands, gently stroking his ear with her fingertips, moved down his beautiful neck, and his chin moved clearly.
“I’m sorry. I’m not feeling well yet.”
“What are you talking about? Why are you sorry? I should be sorry.”
He could feel Claudel’s embarrassment at the cruel hands that were naturally sweeping over her body.
“I was just putting you to sleep.”
Then, suddenly, like a hallucination, he thought he saw the end of a dress disappearing into the dressing room, and he thought he really heard a voice in the night breeze.
However, when he realized that the things he had been seeing and hearing were memories left behind by the woman who had stayed by his side every day and then disappeared, he cried all night until dawn.
The pain that tore through his chest was unbearable.
“Why aren’t you coming in?”
“Just. Just a little.”
When Claudel looked at the soldier standing in front of her room with a menacing look on his face, Kaian finally went into the room and closed the door.
When he came in, Claudel slowly walked to the table by the window and sat down on the chair. Her face was filled with exhaustion.
“What about dinner?”
“I was thinking of eating together.”
“Whew. I’m not really hungry.”
Claudel blinked her eyes lazily.
“You should eat properly.”
“I had lunch and tea. But I’m tired because I’m busy.”
Kaian couldn’t take his eyes off Claudel, who was sitting in her usual seat by the window.
Her long red hair, illuminated by the red sunset as the sun was about to set, sparkled like the wings of a blazing phoenix and flowed down her shoulders and back.
“Come and sit down. Why are you still standing?”
“Ugh.”
Kaian hesitated and slowly headed to the seat opposite her.
However, seeing Claudel greet him so blandly made him feel a little disappointed.
'You're upset.'
It was a ridiculous feeling.
It was only five days ago that he thought he might never see her in this room again.
If she said she wouldn't leave the palace, if she was happier staying by Valquiterre's side, he thought he would do that.
But Kaian acted awkwardly because he felt something was missing.
When he pulled out a chair and didn't sit down, but instead stood still with his hands on the backrest, Claudel felt tired and tried to firm up her heavy eyelids.
"What's wrong?"
There was nothing wrong with the chair, but Kaian's mood was the problem.
"Can I hug you?"
"Yes?"
"If it's not uncomfortable."
Claudel laughed incredulously.
"Why would you ask such a thing? You did whatever you wanted on the ship."
When he realized that she wasn't drawing a line with him, he finally felt relieved. When Kaian stood and spread his arms, Claudel got up, placed her hands on the table, approached him, and rested her head on his chest.
When he hugged her, it felt like he was holding a bouquet of red flowers in full bloom.
Kaian savored Claudel’s scent.
“I feel like I can breathe now.”
“Lies. You must have lived well all your life.”
“Do you see it?”
Kaian was very careful, worried that her still-too-thin body might get hurt if he hugged her tightly. He released his arms and lowered his head, and his eyes met with the golden eyes that were looking up at him.
The lovely eyes that reflected the blazing light of the sunset were more beautiful than ever, stimulating Kaian’s lust. An unauthorized desire passed through him as he saw her, who had been thin and pale, wrapped in a layer of gentle light.
“Claudel.”
He only called her name softly, but Claudel flinched and tried to pull back as if she had sensed something that could not be hidden.
“I want to kiss you.”
“...”
“If you don’t mind.”
Claudel furrowed her eyebrows as if she was displeased.
“You’re weird.”
“What’s weird?”
“You always acted however you wanted.”
“Didn’t you hate that?”
She hesitated, not answering right away.
“I would never do something you don’t like.”
He tried to appeal to Claudel that he was different from before.
“I don’t want you to misunderstand or be hurt.”
“...I never disliked you.”
Claudel’s cheeks took on a beautiful color.
“When did I ever hate anything?”
A soft muttering sound flew into his ears clearly.
Kaian carefully bit her lips.
"...”
He let go for a moment as Claudel took a deep breath, then lowered his head even lower and found the lips he had just wet. He could hear the sound of wet flesh sticking together and falling as they breathed.
Kaian couldn’t come to his senses.
“Dinner... You should eat, right?”
Claudel said in a barely audible voice as she hugged him.
“I’m not really hungry either.”
He had a few pieces of bread for lunch.
His body was so big that his head was sticking out more than others, so he ate a lot.
The other knights ate just as well, so he didn’t really realize that he ate more, but it was true that he ate more than Claudel.
‘Until a moment ago, I was wondering what to feed her for dinner.’
He didn’t think about it at all.
It seemed as if he was completely focused on kissing the gap between her small and tender lips that made him thirsty.
Kaian suddenly hugged her.
When Claudel let out a surprised sound, Kaian ignored her and put her down on the bed.
“Kaian.”
“Why?”
“Because I’m not feeling well yet.”
“I know.”
Claudel’s face hardened a little as she watched him roughly take off his jacket, tie, and whatever he could reach as if he were going to tear them halfway.
“I won’t. I won’t do anything you don’t want.”
Was trust this hard to gain?
“I just wanted to hold you a little. That’s okay.”
“Who decides that it’s okay...?”
Claudel’s objection did not become an obstacle between them.
In the soft bed with a familiar feel, Claudel slowly melted every time Kaian exhaled hot breath.
He barely managed to separate his lips from hers, which he didn’t want to part with, as she pushed her chest out as if she was out of breath.
Claudel, who was lying under the arm of the bed as if trapped, looked at him with a face like a red ripe fruit.
Even if he just bites it lightly, it will give off a sweet scent. She tempted him.
However, he knew very well that Claudel’s health was still far from good.
Didn’t they say that good intentions are worse than the health of an old man who is dying?
He realized more than anyone else that the fact that this woman had recovered her energy to this extent was a miracle brought on by a baby.
Even knowing that.
“...I’m going crazy.”
His body was itching to do something to Claudel.
It was natural to want to taste her lips when holding her and to touch other parts after kissing her.
Claudel reached out and touched his face. Her hands, gently stroking his ear with her fingertips, moved down his beautiful neck, and his chin moved clearly.
“I’m sorry. I’m not feeling well yet.”
“What are you talking about? Why are you sorry? I should be sorry.”
He could feel Claudel’s embarrassment at the cruel hands that were naturally sweeping over her body.
“I was just putting you to sleep.”
“Then it’s okay to just hold you.”
“No. No. I’m not okay.”
Claudel watched him loosen his clothes, dig inside, and close his mouth as if giving up.
“I want to touch you.”
He repeated the words she had once said to him.
“I want to get closer.”
He wanted to feel Claudel.
It seemed like it wouldn’t feel real unless he held her and pressed his body against her.
However, he didn’t want to make the sick woman suffer or hurt her, so his suppressed desire was twisting.
The woman who had lost weight still had the marks of having given birth on her body. Unlike before, he was anxious to dig into the places where her body had changed.
Kaian would have done it if he could cut off her life.
He had already confirmed that if something happened to Claudel, he wouldn’t be able to live normally either.
“No. No. I’m not okay.”
Claudel watched him loosen his clothes, dig inside, and close his mouth as if giving up.
“I want to touch you.”
He repeated the words she had once said to him.
“I want to get closer.”
He wanted to feel Claudel.
It seemed like it wouldn’t feel real unless he held her and pressed his body against her.
However, he didn’t want to make the sick woman suffer or hurt her, so his suppressed desire was twisting.
The woman who had lost weight still had the marks of having given birth on her body. Unlike before, he was anxious to dig into the places where her body had changed.
Kaian would have done it if he could cut off her life.
He had already confirmed that if something happened to Claudel, he wouldn’t be able to live normally either.
“Claudel.”
He called her during the confusion that met the beginning of the night as the red-hot sunset faded away.
“Kaian.”
He liked being able to call her, and the fact that she called him back.
He liked being able to call her, and the fact that she called him back.
“You’re pretty.”
He was finally able to tell her the things he always regretted not being able to tell her honestly.
“That’s ridiculous.”
“You’re too pretty.”
“This is a mess...”
Her perky lips formed a delicate line as she frowned, smiling.
“You chose me. I won’t make you regret it.”
Kaian whispered endlessly in her ear until she fell asleep.
The routine at Rowen had become surprisingly familiar.
I felt that everyone in the castle was much more friendly to me than before.
In the past, when I felt that Kaian favored me, they would be honest, but when something happened, they would become insincere, but now it was not like that at all.
“Is it because the baby was born?”
After I disappeared, Kaian, furious, chased away all those who had been gossiping about me like weeds, but no one had told me about it.
In any case, since things were easy, I felt at ease, and my appetite gradually returned, and I was recovering much better in a few days.
A calf under the moat had disappeared, but I did not know about this either.
“Is it quite big for a baby born early?”
I asked Madame Lepel. The exact date of conception was not known, but the baby must have been born two to a month and a half early.
“The Duke of Temnes is so strong, that must be why.”
“Haha.”
I smiled faintly at the mention of the baby being healthy like her father.
However, Madame Lepel’s complexion looked unusually unwell today.
“What’s the matter? Is there something inconvenient about living?”
When I spoke, Madame Lepel looked around.
The wet nurse who had breastfed the baby had gone to rest, and Hannah and Madame Cronach had also left, so I and Madame Lepel were the only ones in the nursery.
The old lady lowered her voice and spoke to her quietly.
“It’s a boy.”
“You chose me. I won’t make you regret it.”
Kaian whispered endlessly in her ear until she fell asleep.
***
The routine at Rowen had become surprisingly familiar.
I felt that everyone in the castle was much more friendly to me than before.
In the past, when I felt that Kaian favored me, they would be honest, but when something happened, they would become insincere, but now it was not like that at all.
“Is it because the baby was born?”
After I disappeared, Kaian, furious, chased away all those who had been gossiping about me like weeds, but no one had told me about it.
In any case, since things were easy, I felt at ease, and my appetite gradually returned, and I was recovering much better in a few days.
A calf under the moat had disappeared, but I did not know about this either.
“Is it quite big for a baby born early?”
I asked Madame Lepel. The exact date of conception was not known, but the baby must have been born two to a month and a half early.
“The Duke of Temnes is so strong, that must be why.”
“Haha.”
I smiled faintly at the mention of the baby being healthy like her father.
However, Madame Lepel’s complexion looked unusually unwell today.
“What’s the matter? Is there something inconvenient about living?”
When I spoke, Madame Lepel looked around.
The wet nurse who had breastfed the baby had gone to rest, and Hannah and Madame Cronach had also left, so I and Madame Lepel were the only ones in the nursery.
The old lady lowered her voice and spoke to her quietly.
“It’s a boy.”
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