“Kaian. What on earth happened there?”
The baby’s face, with its eyes closed, was so calm that it didn’t seem to have suffered much.
Her red hair, like mine, was thick enough to tickle her cheeks, and her high nose was located under her white, round forehead. The baby slept soundly, her eyelashes drawn with soft brush strokes under her eyebrows, which were thinner than her hair. The nose where I could hear small breathing sounds and her slightly parted lips were so adorable that I couldn’t take my eyes off the baby.
“...She was alive.”
The surroundings became quiet as my voice trembled like tears that had suddenly welled up.
“Oh. I didn’t even know that..."
Kaian held onto me and the baby even tighter, fearing that the strength in my hands would drain away as I cried.
“Hello, madam. It would be best to calm down for a moment. I’ll take care of the baby.”
At that moment, Madame Lepel stepped forward and held out her hand, asking for the baby.
“This person is...?”
When I looked puzzled, Kaian quickly answered.
“Madame Repel has been taking care of the baby since the palace.”
“...From the palace?”
My face changed as I pondered Kaian’s short words.
“From the palace? Valquiterre told me that the baby had died.”
Then, wasn’t the baby’s crying sound I had heard an auditory hallucination?
I had a terrible feeling of foreboding and my whole body gave me goosebumps.
However, it was not something to bring up in front of so many people. That was probably why Kaian had introduced Madame Repel in such a concise manner.
“Please.”
I couldn’t take my eyes off the baby and handed Madame Repel a swaddling blanket. She headed to the ship faster than anyone else, walking with a gait that was unusual for her age.
“She knows what’s important.”
Kaian was very pleased to read about the baby’s survival in her attitude.
“Hurry up and set sail.”
The atmosphere changed completely at Kaian’s words. The bewildered private soldiers of the Temnes territory, who had been mobilized, gathered their strength and lined up in a row, then began to move in unison.
After a while, the ship carrying them ran over the water again as fast as it had come.
Several sailors on deck whistled as Rohan approached, seeing the brown-haired woman at the bow, facing the midnight river wind.
“Hannah. Thank you for your hard work.”
Rohan lightly kissed Hannah’s cheek with a widened face. The stern captain smirked at the sight of her being in love, but when he glared at her with a strong gaze, all the men who had been wandering around disappeared.
“Hard work. All I did was sit in the carriage holding the baby.”
“That must have been hard work.”
“I took turns holding it with Madame Repel. It’s okay.”
When a spear suddenly appeared in the carriage and was stuck, it was surprising. The spear was the spear that the man who had been stabbed by Baron Colon had thrust out in a fit of anger. However, since no one was hurt, it was concluded that there was no problem.
“Are you okay?”
“Yes. I’m okay.”
“...Our baby too?”
Instead of answering, Hannah took Rohan’s hand and gently placed it on her lower abdomen. Rohan carefully felt her swollen abdomen and lifted the corners of his lips, not hiding his delight.
“You seem to be doing well. I can see that your abdomen has grown even bigger.”
“Hehe.”
Hannah laughed softly instead of answering.
“I’m sorry, Hannah.”
Rohan apologized to her without saying a word.
“I should have been more careful.”
It was a false status that she had acquired to be by Claudel’s side. Hannah did not think that noble or commoner were words that could define her.
Her parents were the only ones who had passed away in the village of Plogne.
Everyone she could consider family, including her younger brother, had passed away.
Sometimes, the other maids of the castle of Valmonde wondered why she didn’t interact with her adoptive parents, saying, “Sir Pebble is quite a nice person.” However, she never felt like calling anyone else father or mother.
“The one who registered me in the family of the vassal is the Duke of Vermont.”
She never dreamed that this would affect her life in this way.
“I’ve done quite a lot by saving the lady this time.”
The man she had feelings for was apologetic even though he had done nothing wrong.
“I’m thinking of asking the Duke to let me become a vassal of Temnes too. So please wait a little longer.”
“Rohan. You don’t have to change for me and the baby.”
Hannah thought so sincerely.
“You know? You’re cooler because you’re free.”
Even if it was just his willingness to change for her, that was enough.
“You’re the father of my child, even if you’re the way you are now.”
So it’s okay not to feel sorry.
The words that followed melted in the arms of the man who had yet to call her his wife.
I was in the midst of a strange experience. I was sure that I was dying, without the strength to move a finger.
My lifeless body felt burdensome as if it had been irreversibly transformed into dry, withered tree bark. I was sure that my soul was separated from my body, which did not move as I wanted, and was agitated.
Until I heard that the baby was alive.
The moment my soul, which I was sure was ending its life, was tightly bound to my body, the vivid and hazy sensations returned.
'How could I close my eyes and leave you?'
It was a welcome death, assuming that the baby I longed for and missed was in the other world.
The baby, who had taken off the thick swaddling clothes and was wrapped tightly in a thin, soft outer covering, was held in my arms, unlike before. I was so out of it that I didn't even notice, but Hannah, Madame Lepel, and the nanny who was feeding the baby were all on board the ship.
Madame Lepel, who had taken the baby from me, who was running out of energy and was filled with emotions, woke up the sleeping baby, changed its diaper, fed it plenty of milk, and then took it back.
It was said that a moving carriage would not be good for a baby who was less than a hundred days old, so she didn’t wake it up and feed it.
The baby, who had just woken up from a deep sleep, looked very happy after eating her fill.
“She can’t see well yet.”
“Really?”
Madame Lepel awkwardly placed a cushion under my arm, which was tensing my shoulders, and made me comfortable.
“They say that newborn babies can’t see well. Instead, their noses are sensitive.”
“I see.”
“Look at this. Even though it’s the first time you’re holding her, she’s so comfortable. She knows her mother’s smell incredibly well.”
I was so happy that I didn’t know what to do.
Every time the baby blinked, her pumpkin-yellow eyes were clearly visible in the dim oil lamps on the ship.
“It seems to be looking at me.”
“She was born early. She probably can’t see things properly yet.”
Still, I wanted to believe that the baby was watching me.
“I was worried that her eyesight would deteriorate, so I darkened the room and looked after her.”
“Thank you very much. But at the castle... I heard that you were looking after the baby at the castle too.”
“That’s right. I was originally the wet nurse of the late twin Princesses, and then I served His Majesty Valquiterre.”
“....”
It seemed like I knew without having to ask any more questions.
It would have been difficult for her to refuse Valquiterre's order.
'You've all been fooling me?'
The baby's cry, carried by the wind, was a hallucination, and I thought it was a distant cry. I first thought it was the poor thing that had crossed the river of death, calling me out of loneliness and desolation.
When I learned that it was the cry of my child, who was still alive, looking for me, I was truly angry.
Especially, the few who had served me since I arrived at the palace from Rowan had been very kind and gentle, and it was chilling to think about what they must have been thinking as they watched me go mad.
"I think she's going to sleep like this."
Madame Lepel looked at Kaian.
"Can I leave now?"
"Yes. You've really worked hard. I won't forget this favor."
"If she cries, call me."
As Madame Lepel left, the air in the cabin became even more peaceful.
Kaian held the baby in his arms and patted her back, and soon a cracking sound was heard from the small body.
'Ah. How I had longed to see this sight.'
When I ran away with the baby, who I thought would never be accepted by her father, the thing I thought I would never reach came back to me.
“Kaian.”
The complicated disappointment and frustration crumbled every time I saw him holding the baby.
“I wanted to be a great Duchess.”
So I thought I had to tell this story now.
“I wanted to be accepted by you.”
Since he had not been informed, his face hardened as soon as he saw the carriage’s condition. When the light was turned on the dark outline of the carriage, Baron Colon, who had been escorting him, jumped down from his horse.
“Master. Madam. We’ve arrived now.”
“Thank you for your hard work. Is everything okay?”
When Kaian asked hurriedly, he nodded.
“Yes. I encountered a thief targeting the carriage on the way here, but it was nothing serious, and I was worried that they would track me down if I sent a telegram.”
“Nothing serious?”
When I looked at the spear stuck in the carriage and made a disgusted face, the butler answered with a gentle face.
“It came through the spear and got stuck in the floor of the carriage. No one was hurt, but I had to stop to change or fix the carriage, so I just ran.”
“The baby...”
As I was about to ask anxiously, the carriage door on the other side opened.
“Madam!”
It was Hannah holding the baby in a swaddle.
She looked nervous, and her complexion was not good. My eyes first fell on her lower abdomen, which had grown a bit more in the time since I hadn’t seen her in a while. Holding a small bundle in her arms, she walked more slowly and cautiously than ever before, approaching me. At that moment, I saw a halo from Hannah.
I felt as if she were a holy messenger from heaven.
“Please hold her.”
As I stood there awkwardly, Hannah carefully placed the baby in my arms.
“Ah.”
Worried about my weakness, Kaian pulled me into his arms as if he was hugging me from behind. It looked like he held me and the baby whole.
As Kaian held the baby, I opened the swaddle a little with trembling hands.
My eyes widened as I looked inside.
“...My baby.”
“Master. Madam. We’ve arrived now.”
“Thank you for your hard work. Is everything okay?”
When Kaian asked hurriedly, he nodded.
“Yes. I encountered a thief targeting the carriage on the way here, but it was nothing serious, and I was worried that they would track me down if I sent a telegram.”
“Nothing serious?”
When I looked at the spear stuck in the carriage and made a disgusted face, the butler answered with a gentle face.
“It came through the spear and got stuck in the floor of the carriage. No one was hurt, but I had to stop to change or fix the carriage, so I just ran.”
“The baby...”
As I was about to ask anxiously, the carriage door on the other side opened.
“Madam!”
It was Hannah holding the baby in a swaddle.
She looked nervous, and her complexion was not good. My eyes first fell on her lower abdomen, which had grown a bit more in the time since I hadn’t seen her in a while. Holding a small bundle in her arms, she walked more slowly and cautiously than ever before, approaching me. At that moment, I saw a halo from Hannah.
I felt as if she were a holy messenger from heaven.
“Please hold her.”
As I stood there awkwardly, Hannah carefully placed the baby in my arms.
“Ah.”
Worried about my weakness, Kaian pulled me into his arms as if he was hugging me from behind. It looked like he held me and the baby whole.
As Kaian held the baby, I opened the swaddle a little with trembling hands.
My eyes widened as I looked inside.
“...My baby.”
The baby’s face, with its eyes closed, was so calm that it didn’t seem to have suffered much.
Her red hair, like mine, was thick enough to tickle her cheeks, and her high nose was located under her white, round forehead. The baby slept soundly, her eyelashes drawn with soft brush strokes under her eyebrows, which were thinner than her hair. The nose where I could hear small breathing sounds and her slightly parted lips were so adorable that I couldn’t take my eyes off the baby.
“...She was alive.”
The surroundings became quiet as my voice trembled like tears that had suddenly welled up.
“Oh. I didn’t even know that..."
Kaian held onto me and the baby even tighter, fearing that the strength in my hands would drain away as I cried.
“Hello, madam. It would be best to calm down for a moment. I’ll take care of the baby.”
At that moment, Madame Lepel stepped forward and held out her hand, asking for the baby.
“This person is...?”
When I looked puzzled, Kaian quickly answered.
“Madame Repel has been taking care of the baby since the palace.”
“...From the palace?”
My face changed as I pondered Kaian’s short words.
“From the palace? Valquiterre told me that the baby had died.”
Then, wasn’t the baby’s crying sound I had heard an auditory hallucination?
I had a terrible feeling of foreboding and my whole body gave me goosebumps.
However, it was not something to bring up in front of so many people. That was probably why Kaian had introduced Madame Repel in such a concise manner.
“Please.”
I couldn’t take my eyes off the baby and handed Madame Repel a swaddling blanket. She headed to the ship faster than anyone else, walking with a gait that was unusual for her age.
“She knows what’s important.”
Kaian was very pleased to read about the baby’s survival in her attitude.
“Hurry up and set sail.”
The atmosphere changed completely at Kaian’s words. The bewildered private soldiers of the Temnes territory, who had been mobilized, gathered their strength and lined up in a row, then began to move in unison.
After a while, the ship carrying them ran over the water again as fast as it had come.
Several sailors on deck whistled as Rohan approached, seeing the brown-haired woman at the bow, facing the midnight river wind.
“Hannah. Thank you for your hard work.”
Rohan lightly kissed Hannah’s cheek with a widened face. The stern captain smirked at the sight of her being in love, but when he glared at her with a strong gaze, all the men who had been wandering around disappeared.
“Hard work. All I did was sit in the carriage holding the baby.”
“That must have been hard work.”
“I took turns holding it with Madame Repel. It’s okay.”
When a spear suddenly appeared in the carriage and was stuck, it was surprising. The spear was the spear that the man who had been stabbed by Baron Colon had thrust out in a fit of anger. However, since no one was hurt, it was concluded that there was no problem.
“Are you okay?”
“Yes. I’m okay.”
“...Our baby too?”
Instead of answering, Hannah took Rohan’s hand and gently placed it on her lower abdomen. Rohan carefully felt her swollen abdomen and lifted the corners of his lips, not hiding his delight.
“You seem to be doing well. I can see that your abdomen has grown even bigger.”
“Hehe.”
Hannah laughed softly instead of answering.
“I’m sorry, Hannah.”
Rohan apologized to her without saying a word.
“I should have been more careful.”
It was a false status that she had acquired to be by Claudel’s side. Hannah did not think that noble or commoner were words that could define her.
Her parents were the only ones who had passed away in the village of Plogne.
Everyone she could consider family, including her younger brother, had passed away.
Sometimes, the other maids of the castle of Valmonde wondered why she didn’t interact with her adoptive parents, saying, “Sir Pebble is quite a nice person.” However, she never felt like calling anyone else father or mother.
“The one who registered me in the family of the vassal is the Duke of Vermont.”
She never dreamed that this would affect her life in this way.
“I’ve done quite a lot by saving the lady this time.”
The man she had feelings for was apologetic even though he had done nothing wrong.
“I’m thinking of asking the Duke to let me become a vassal of Temnes too. So please wait a little longer.”
“Rohan. You don’t have to change for me and the baby.”
Hannah thought so sincerely.
“You know? You’re cooler because you’re free.”
Even if it was just his willingness to change for her, that was enough.
“You’re the father of my child, even if you’re the way you are now.”
So it’s okay not to feel sorry.
The words that followed melted in the arms of the man who had yet to call her his wife.
***
I was in the midst of a strange experience. I was sure that I was dying, without the strength to move a finger.
My lifeless body felt burdensome as if it had been irreversibly transformed into dry, withered tree bark. I was sure that my soul was separated from my body, which did not move as I wanted, and was agitated.
Until I heard that the baby was alive.
The moment my soul, which I was sure was ending its life, was tightly bound to my body, the vivid and hazy sensations returned.
'How could I close my eyes and leave you?'
It was a welcome death, assuming that the baby I longed for and missed was in the other world.
The baby, who had taken off the thick swaddling clothes and was wrapped tightly in a thin, soft outer covering, was held in my arms, unlike before. I was so out of it that I didn't even notice, but Hannah, Madame Lepel, and the nanny who was feeding the baby were all on board the ship.
Madame Lepel, who had taken the baby from me, who was running out of energy and was filled with emotions, woke up the sleeping baby, changed its diaper, fed it plenty of milk, and then took it back.
It was said that a moving carriage would not be good for a baby who was less than a hundred days old, so she didn’t wake it up and feed it.
The baby, who had just woken up from a deep sleep, looked very happy after eating her fill.
“She can’t see well yet.”
“Really?”
Madame Lepel awkwardly placed a cushion under my arm, which was tensing my shoulders, and made me comfortable.
“They say that newborn babies can’t see well. Instead, their noses are sensitive.”
“I see.”
“Look at this. Even though it’s the first time you’re holding her, she’s so comfortable. She knows her mother’s smell incredibly well.”
I was so happy that I didn’t know what to do.
Every time the baby blinked, her pumpkin-yellow eyes were clearly visible in the dim oil lamps on the ship.
“It seems to be looking at me.”
“She was born early. She probably can’t see things properly yet.”
Still, I wanted to believe that the baby was watching me.
“I was worried that her eyesight would deteriorate, so I darkened the room and looked after her.”
“Thank you very much. But at the castle... I heard that you were looking after the baby at the castle too.”
“That’s right. I was originally the wet nurse of the late twin Princesses, and then I served His Majesty Valquiterre.”
“....”
It seemed like I knew without having to ask any more questions.
It would have been difficult for her to refuse Valquiterre's order.
'You've all been fooling me?'
The baby's cry, carried by the wind, was a hallucination, and I thought it was a distant cry. I first thought it was the poor thing that had crossed the river of death, calling me out of loneliness and desolation.
When I learned that it was the cry of my child, who was still alive, looking for me, I was truly angry.
Especially, the few who had served me since I arrived at the palace from Rowan had been very kind and gentle, and it was chilling to think about what they must have been thinking as they watched me go mad.
"I think she's going to sleep like this."
Madame Lepel looked at Kaian.
"Can I leave now?"
"Yes. You've really worked hard. I won't forget this favor."
"If she cries, call me."
As Madame Lepel left, the air in the cabin became even more peaceful.
Kaian held the baby in his arms and patted her back, and soon a cracking sound was heard from the small body.
'Ah. How I had longed to see this sight.'
When I ran away with the baby, who I thought would never be accepted by her father, the thing I thought I would never reach came back to me.
“Kaian.”
The complicated disappointment and frustration crumbled every time I saw him holding the baby.
“I wanted to be a great Duchess.”
So I thought I had to tell this story now.
“I wanted to be accepted by you.”
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