“Is that all you have in ambition or determination?”
Determination?
I doubted my ears.
‘What did I just hear?’
Even though I clearly heard the context of what the Duke of Vermont was saying, I couldn’t understand it.
“I thought highly of you.”
Surprisingly, it was something close to praise, but it sounded like nonsense.
“When... did you think of me that way?”
I was so shocked that the words I wanted to say got stuck in my throat and I screamed at him to let me go first.
“You always called me a useless swindler.”
In my opinion, what the Duke of Vermont had been spewing at me was not a bundle of words that a fellow human being could say to another person. There must be many more people who have never once said to someone that they were useless and less than a swindler.
“You cursed my parents who gave birth to me. You said that I should just leave all the burdens on them and die.”
Here, sadly, the biggest burden was none other than me.
When I thought of myself, I would be too sad to mourn often and bury my father and mother deep in the sunniest part of my heart. The Duke of Vermont would casually drag them out and chop them up like a bundle of fish on a rag.
A bastard who brought shame to the family.
A commoner who dared to have a child by seducing a noble bloodline.
Even beasts find their match like ghosts, and low-level people come together to produce someone like you.
The repertoire that was repeated tirelessly was engraved in my mind, and it was painful because it was unforgettable.
The Duke of Vermont was a mirror that reflected the original sin I had been carrying since birth.
‘I told Kaian that we make each other unhappy.’
In fact, I knew that was not true.
I felt that the roof of the house of the enemy who coldly persecuted me as Vermont’s daughter was a little more polite than what my uncle did.
Some happiness is so clear that no one can dispute that it is the ultimate happiness.
Unfortunately, the happiness that I experienced was only relative happiness. The Duke of Vermont’s verbal abuse was more bearable than Kaian’s coldness.
It was better to die a death that helped someone than to die in vain from Herzol.
Even in such a life, if I could accumulate small satisfactions, such as a passage from a book I read today that comforted my heart, or my favorite fruit that I had for dinner, or a good night’s sleep, I hoped that the happiness I could have would gradually increase. I had such a wish.
“I thought highly of you.”
Surprisingly, it was something close to praise, but it sounded like nonsense.
“When... did you think of me that way?”
I was so shocked that the words I wanted to say got stuck in my throat and I screamed at him to let me go first.
“You always called me a useless swindler.”
In my opinion, what the Duke of Vermont had been spewing at me was not a bundle of words that a fellow human being could say to another person. There must be many more people who have never once said to someone that they were useless and less than a swindler.
“You cursed my parents who gave birth to me. You said that I should just leave all the burdens on them and die.”
Here, sadly, the biggest burden was none other than me.
When I thought of myself, I would be too sad to mourn often and bury my father and mother deep in the sunniest part of my heart. The Duke of Vermont would casually drag them out and chop them up like a bundle of fish on a rag.
A bastard who brought shame to the family.
A commoner who dared to have a child by seducing a noble bloodline.
Even beasts find their match like ghosts, and low-level people come together to produce someone like you.
The repertoire that was repeated tirelessly was engraved in my mind, and it was painful because it was unforgettable.
The Duke of Vermont was a mirror that reflected the original sin I had been carrying since birth.
‘I told Kaian that we make each other unhappy.’
In fact, I knew that was not true.
I felt that the roof of the house of the enemy who coldly persecuted me as Vermont’s daughter was a little more polite than what my uncle did.
Some happiness is so clear that no one can dispute that it is the ultimate happiness.
Unfortunately, the happiness that I experienced was only relative happiness. The Duke of Vermont’s verbal abuse was more bearable than Kaian’s coldness.
It was better to die a death that helped someone than to die in vain from Herzol.
Even in such a life, if I could accumulate small satisfactions, such as a passage from a book I read today that comforted my heart, or my favorite fruit that I had for dinner, or a good night’s sleep, I hoped that the happiness I could have would gradually increase. I had such a wish.
It was such a tragedy.
When I endured it, I couldn’t even make a sound, but looking back, it was such a shame.
“You told me to forget about my mother, didn’t you?”
I clenched my fists as if to resist something hard to bear.
“You’ll kill me if I don’t forget that I saw my mother.”
My body trembled and my head felt like it was going to burst. I pressed my fist against my chest, which was about to vomit, and said.
“You slapped me until I said I didn’t remember my mother’s face? You did that to a ten-year-old.”
I was furious.
When I first met Madame Cronach, I remembered the complex emotions that had passed through her brown eyes when I saw her face, which was clearly scarred by burns.
When I endured it, I couldn’t even make a sound, but looking back, it was such a shame.
“You told me to forget about my mother, didn’t you?”
I clenched my fists as if to resist something hard to bear.
“You’ll kill me if I don’t forget that I saw my mother.”
My body trembled and my head felt like it was going to burst. I pressed my fist against my chest, which was about to vomit, and said.
“You slapped me until I said I didn’t remember my mother’s face? You did that to a ten-year-old.”
I was furious.
When I first met Madame Cronach, I remembered the complex emotions that had passed through her brown eyes when I saw her face, which was clearly scarred by burns.
‘It wasn’t that I didn’t recognize my mother.’
That’s why every single expression on her face was so vivid as if I had seen it yesterday.
‘I just shouldn’t have recognized her.’
The instinct that I couldn’t express or be happy about came back as a nightmare, mixed with guilt.
“You thought highly of me? Don’t lie. You’re trying to use me with just a few words?”
The Duke of Vermont, who had come to see the King as his son-in-law as Valquiterre had said, seemed completely crazy.
What do you mean by family, power, and fame? How can you be so greedy without knowing the value of what you have in your hands?
When I stopped talking and took a deep breath, the Duke of Vermont’s amber eyes glowed like a reptile’s.
“What on earth are you talking about? What difference will it make if you hang out with that worthless woman?”
“Don’t speak so carelessly of my mother.”
“What has that woman done besides giving birth to you? It’s not my fault that that village has been reduced to ashes, is it?”
Grumbled the Duke of Vermont.
“I raised you. I would be proud to present you as my daughter. Of course, you were hurt by Herzol, though.”
No matter how much I struggled, he did not change.
Whenever I encountered the Duke of Vermont, I would feel as if I was being dragged into a swamp from which I could not escape. However, it seemed as if the swamp I was standing on the edge was about to be swallowed up by another huge swamp called Valquiterre.
“What on earth have you been studying and working hard for?”
I was dumbfounded by the tone of voice that seemed to reproach me.
“Haven’t you enjoyed reading Mar Miller’s Theory of the Kingdom or the History of Revolutions by those who support Gredolman?”
“Why...?”
“You didn’t read such difficult books just to kill time, did you?”
He was right. I often escaped into books, and the longer I had to think deeply about the things I had to read because they were difficult and hard to understand, the more I forgot about reality.
Instead of reading books that were easy and light to enjoy, I gradually began to look for difficult books that could only be found in the study of monarchy.
“When you left for Rowen, didn’t you say it yourself? You wanted to do anything for the people of the territory.”
The Duke of Vermont sneered at me.
“Now, you can call Mar Miller to the palace every morning and have him read the Treatise on the Kingdom. You don’t think about using your talents to benefit the people, but rather, you just want to escape reality by being absorbed in your own feelings.”
If the Duke of Vermont had been disparaging me and trampling on my self-esteem until now, this time he was really provoking my pride in my intellectual pursuits.
“No. No. You shouldn’t get involved.”
I barely managed to come to my senses.
“You wanted my sister to become Queen, didn’t you?”
“No. No. You shouldn’t get involved.”
I barely managed to come to my senses.
“You wanted my sister to become Queen, didn’t you?”
That was why Irena had stopped visiting Rowen and found a mansion in the capital.
“Yes. But aren’t you, my daughter, too?”
The last bastion collapsed.
“If Irena had become Queen, it would have been an honor to the family. Even if you had become Queen, it would have been the same.”
“...”
“You have the opportunity to become a wise Queen who cares for the people like your own children, so don’t act stupid.”
The Duke of Vermont raised his thin eyebrows.
“I’m not just saying this in vain. Since you’ve dug into the logic of the book so desperately, I’m telling you to help His Majesty the King take care of his people.”
“I don’t want to.”
“Didn’t you feed hundreds of thousands of people in the land of Valmond?”
The Duke of Vermont sighed.
“The position of Queen requires ability. If you do it with that mindset, you’ll be able to rule the people of Oberon well.”
I was confused.
‘Are you serious?’
There was no way.
He had never once been positive about anything I did.
That’s why the Duke of Vermont’s words were even more suspicious, yet strangely sincere. It seemed like he was seriously offering me the position because he thought I was truly suitable for the position and could do so.
“Unlike you, Irena has a strong attachment to Valmonde.”
Now, he began to compare me to his eldest daughter, whom he loved without hesitation.
“If such a child becomes the Queen of the kingdom of Oberon, it is more likely that she will act for Valmonde than for the entire kingdom. However, if the care is not proper, the place that is not cared for will wither.”
To some, it seemed like the future Queen’s father was giving me concerns and advice.
“Don’t act rashly and follow the King’s lead.”
“I can’t do that.”
I clenched my teeth.
“Please let me go. I want to live the rest of my life as your daughter.”
“If that’s what you really want.”
The Duke of Vermont sighed.
“I apologize to your mother.”
“What...?”
I was so surprised by the unexpected words that I was embarrassed.
“Ten years ago. I was a much younger lord than I am now.”
The Duke of Vermont looked up at the ceiling with blurry eyes as if recalling the past.
“It was when I had no sense. How could I not feel bad about the misfortunes that Evan had suffered?”
“...”
“The misfortunes that followed you seemed to be endlessly connected. That is why I cast your mother out like that. I believed that the ominous atmosphere at the Castle de Valmonde would calm down once you were free of her.”
He spoke slowly as if he was filled with regret.
“I shouldn’t have done that. I know it was too much for you.”
“You are apologizing now?”
“I wasn’t just trying to hurt your mother’s feelings. Why would a commoner woman with such a mess raise you?”
I was speechless.
“That woman was a hopeless person in the kingdom of Oberon, without even a single piece of identification. A ten-year-old girl would have to go out to the mountains and fields to collect firewood and sell things like ears of rice to make a living. How could she afford to pay for medicine?”
“That’s...”
“Your mother eventually gave in, so she was dragged away. I’m sorry I couldn’t let you see her just once. Even now, I don’t think that it was a very wrong choice for me to separate you two.”
The Duke of Vermont looked at me with a sour expression.
“Still, I want to say sorry to you and your mother, even though it’s late.”
I closed my mouth and lowered my head as if I had lost strength.
“If the King wants you as his Queen, there’s no way I can refuse the order while I’m still on this land. So prepare yourself mentally.”
“Yes. But aren’t you, my daughter, too?”
The last bastion collapsed.
“If Irena had become Queen, it would have been an honor to the family. Even if you had become Queen, it would have been the same.”
“...”
“You have the opportunity to become a wise Queen who cares for the people like your own children, so don’t act stupid.”
The Duke of Vermont raised his thin eyebrows.
“I’m not just saying this in vain. Since you’ve dug into the logic of the book so desperately, I’m telling you to help His Majesty the King take care of his people.”
“I don’t want to.”
“Didn’t you feed hundreds of thousands of people in the land of Valmond?”
The Duke of Vermont sighed.
“The position of Queen requires ability. If you do it with that mindset, you’ll be able to rule the people of Oberon well.”
I was confused.
‘Are you serious?’
There was no way.
He had never once been positive about anything I did.
That’s why the Duke of Vermont’s words were even more suspicious, yet strangely sincere. It seemed like he was seriously offering me the position because he thought I was truly suitable for the position and could do so.
“Unlike you, Irena has a strong attachment to Valmonde.”
Now, he began to compare me to his eldest daughter, whom he loved without hesitation.
“If such a child becomes the Queen of the kingdom of Oberon, it is more likely that she will act for Valmonde than for the entire kingdom. However, if the care is not proper, the place that is not cared for will wither.”
To some, it seemed like the future Queen’s father was giving me concerns and advice.
“Don’t act rashly and follow the King’s lead.”
“I can’t do that.”
I clenched my teeth.
“Please let me go. I want to live the rest of my life as your daughter.”
“If that’s what you really want.”
The Duke of Vermont sighed.
“I apologize to your mother.”
“What...?”
I was so surprised by the unexpected words that I was embarrassed.
“Ten years ago. I was a much younger lord than I am now.”
The Duke of Vermont looked up at the ceiling with blurry eyes as if recalling the past.
“It was when I had no sense. How could I not feel bad about the misfortunes that Evan had suffered?”
“...”
“The misfortunes that followed you seemed to be endlessly connected. That is why I cast your mother out like that. I believed that the ominous atmosphere at the Castle de Valmonde would calm down once you were free of her.”
He spoke slowly as if he was filled with regret.
“I shouldn’t have done that. I know it was too much for you.”
“You are apologizing now?”
“I wasn’t just trying to hurt your mother’s feelings. Why would a commoner woman with such a mess raise you?”
I was speechless.
“That woman was a hopeless person in the kingdom of Oberon, without even a single piece of identification. A ten-year-old girl would have to go out to the mountains and fields to collect firewood and sell things like ears of rice to make a living. How could she afford to pay for medicine?”
“That’s...”
“Your mother eventually gave in, so she was dragged away. I’m sorry I couldn’t let you see her just once. Even now, I don’t think that it was a very wrong choice for me to separate you two.”
The Duke of Vermont looked at me with a sour expression.
“Still, I want to say sorry to you and your mother, even though it’s late.”
I closed my mouth and lowered my head as if I had lost strength.
“If the King wants you as his Queen, there’s no way I can refuse the order while I’m still on this land. So prepare yourself mentally.”
The Duke of Vermont stood up as if he had finished speaking.
He got into a carriage decorated with gold decorations and the family crest at the castle entrance.
As the door closed, the carriage began to slowly descend the hill.
“You wanted my sister to be Queen, didn’t you?”
He twitched the corners of his lips as he pondered Claudel’s desperate question just a moment ago.
“I can’t send my daughter to such a madman.”
He got into a carriage decorated with gold decorations and the family crest at the castle entrance.
As the door closed, the carriage began to slowly descend the hill.
“You wanted my sister to be Queen, didn’t you?”
He twitched the corners of his lips as he pondered Claudel’s desperate question just a moment ago.
“I can’t send my daughter to such a madman.”
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