The Punishment of Atonement
“I sentence the sinner, Millenia Astrod, to the punishment of crossing!”
Rattle rattle.
My body rocked back and forth every time the carriage rolled.
I wanted to find my balance, but the chains binding my wrists and ankles made it difficult.
“Kill the evil witch!”
“Behead her now! Cut off her head!”
“What is the punishment for crossing! Kaak, hoo!”
Someone had spit and the saliva stuck to my hair. I just left it there, flowing out like a sticky liquid.
People who hated me were screaming from all sides. Something flew and started hitting the iron bars.
Something sticky popped out. It smelled like eggs.
Don't do that. There's no need to throw away precious food because of someone like me.
I raised my head. Instead of a clear sky, I saw pitch-black darkness.
When I was sixteen, I gained the gift of precognition but lost my eyesight.
Being invisible is both uncomfortable and comfortable.
I feel comfortable not seeing people who hate me, and I feel uncomfortable not seeing the sky.
Thud, the carriage shook violently. My head hit the iron bars.
I sat up straight and thought about it.
Have I done something to deserve this curse?
“Even if I die, I will fight.”
Because the foresight that should have been used for the empire was misused for the benefit of only one person.
To make my lover, the 3rd Prince, the Emperor.
So my lover, who had ascended the throne, said to me.
“I sentence the sinner, Millenia Astrod, to the punishment of crossing!”
“Haha...”
My lip split while laughing. Lukewarm blood flowed from the corner of my mouth.
I curled up on the carriage floor and closed one eye, though it was closed at all.
It seemed like my situation was one where it was dark whether I was up or down, and it was dark whether I was down or up.
The carriage stopped. It seemed like we had finally arrived at the execution area.
“Bring out the sinner!”
The carriage tilted slightly, and my body was thrown somewhere.
As soon as I touched the hot sand, my skin immediately turned red.
“Execute the sentence!”
I stood up unsteadily. The dry wind blew across my face.
This is a desert.
A land of death where all life has disappeared and only the heat of hell exists.
The penalty of crossing was carried out here.
“Walk under the sun, sinner Millenia Astrod. Walk and walk until your breath stops, and atone for your sins!”
The executioners untied the chains that bound my wrists and ankles. My hands trembled as if I was so scared.
I was about to tell him to rest assured that I was no longer a prophet but a sinner, but I stopped because I felt weak.
The sound of the carriage grew distant. I sighed in that direction.
Just tell me which way to go.
But the executioners have already left, and now I must carry out my punishment.
Let's walk.
I turned my body in the opposite direction and started walking.
The sand here was different from regular sand.
It was so hot that it could burn you if you weren't wearing safety shoes.
My feet sank deep into the sand. I could feel the skin on the soles of my feet being pushed with every step.
Being invisible can be both convenient and inconvenient.
It's convenient not to be able to see what shape my legs are in, but it's uncomfortable not to know if I'm going the right way.
It felt like flames were pouring down the top of the head. The soles of her feet and calves already seemed to be cooked.
“Haa, haa...”
I stopped for a moment, out of breath.
The crossing is just beginning, but my body just won't keep up. Thirst isn't even on the list of sufferings.
At least throw me a bucket of water and leave.
The executors don't seem to be very smart.
If I live long, won't I suffer long and atone for a long time?
I held my knees, caught my breath, and started walking again.
As I listened to the lonely footsteps, I thought of the two people I loved the most.
“I pretended to be friendly with you for Your Majesty’s sake, but honestly, I didn’t like you from the beginning. You act pitiful and make a fool of yourself as if being blind is some great misfortune. When you have everything.”
“Things that are no longer useful should be thrown away. If you leave them alone, they will just give off a rotten smell. So don’t blame me too much.”
I, who gave everyone an unfortunate future, was betrayed by my only friend and lover.
No, isn't that a betrayal? They never loved me from the beginning.
I guess these are the words of a villain.
I knelt down and prostrated myself with every step I took. The skin on my forehead that touched the sand felt hot as if it was burning.
“I made a mistake...”
“I am a sinner.”
“Don’t forgive me.”
"I'm sorry."
"I'm sorry."
"I'm sorry."
"I'm sorry."
“Sorry, uh...”
My voice didn't come out. My tongue, which had become tangled in the meantime, wouldn't turn.
I still have a long way to go before I can ask for forgiveness from those who were sacrificed because of my wrong choices, and it's already like this.
I had no choice but to pray inwardly and continue bowing.
'I was wrong.'
'I'm sorry.'
'I'm sorry.'
'Sorry.'
'Please don't forgive me.'
I bowed and stood up, but one of my legs was weak and bent.
I lost my balance and fell into the sand.
Is it noon?
The sun seems to have gotten stronger.
The pain I thought I was familiar with grew bigger and pushed its way into me.
Thank God.
It was a blessing that my family wasn't executed here.
My family was executed trying to save me.
Even though I was crazy about men and abused the prophecy, I was eventually betrayed and thrown in prison, and I couldn't let go of my family.
I threw them away a long time ago.
If there is a next life...
Of course, I'm going to hell, but if I were given just one chance, I'd like to be born as an umbrella.
So I hope I block out even a single drop of rain and then are lightly discarded when they have served their purpose.
It wouldn't be strange at all to shove me deep in a warehouse and forget about my existence.
I wish I could be that insignificant being.
I closed one eye, but it was not. My eyelids were ripe with heat. My breathing slowed down.
Is it finally over?
The black vision turned red. I felt like I was losing consciousness, but then suddenly it came back.
What...
When I came to my senses, my body was shaking.
I felt someone's arms embracing me belatedly.
Soon, something cold began to trickle down my lips.
It's water.
Who is it?
Who came to the land of death for me?
The only family that ever loved me died because of me, and the two people I thought I loved abandoned me.
I was completely alone. But who is this person?
I blinked my eyes out of habit as if that would make me see the other person.
But my retina couldn't pick up anything.
“...!...!”
I think he was saying something, but unfortunately, I couldn't hear him.
My body had already stopped almost all of its functions.
He let go of my hand, which he had been holding weakly.
It was probably the only part of my body that was intact despite all the burns.
Soon, letters were written in the palm of my hand.
Again and again.
The writing was completed slowly and carefully as if he wanted me to understand.
Suddenly, that thought occurred to me.
I wish this person would ask me anything.
I desperately wanted to give something to this person who came to the desert of death to find me.
The skin is damaged, so it's okay to ask for blood, and the teeth are relatively intact, so I can give it to you.
The words were completed as soon as I thought about them.
Please don't die
Ah...
Why do we always wish for the impossible?
I can't do that.
Even though I was on the verge of death, I felt like crying a little. I felt sorry for the people who had come this far.
I moved my lips with all my might.
"I'm sorry."
It was the end.
“I sentence the sinner, Millenia Astrod, to the punishment of crossing!”
Rattle rattle.
My body rocked back and forth every time the carriage rolled.
I wanted to find my balance, but the chains binding my wrists and ankles made it difficult.
“Kill the evil witch!”
“Behead her now! Cut off her head!”
“What is the punishment for crossing! Kaak, hoo!”
Someone had spit and the saliva stuck to my hair. I just left it there, flowing out like a sticky liquid.
People who hated me were screaming from all sides. Something flew and started hitting the iron bars.
Something sticky popped out. It smelled like eggs.
Don't do that. There's no need to throw away precious food because of someone like me.
I raised my head. Instead of a clear sky, I saw pitch-black darkness.
When I was sixteen, I gained the gift of precognition but lost my eyesight.
Being invisible is both uncomfortable and comfortable.
I feel comfortable not seeing people who hate me, and I feel uncomfortable not seeing the sky.
Thud, the carriage shook violently. My head hit the iron bars.
I sat up straight and thought about it.
Have I done something to deserve this curse?
“Even if I die, I will fight.”
Because the foresight that should have been used for the empire was misused for the benefit of only one person.
To make my lover, the 3rd Prince, the Emperor.
So my lover, who had ascended the throne, said to me.
“I sentence the sinner, Millenia Astrod, to the punishment of crossing!”
“Haha...”
My lip split while laughing. Lukewarm blood flowed from the corner of my mouth.
I curled up on the carriage floor and closed one eye, though it was closed at all.
It seemed like my situation was one where it was dark whether I was up or down, and it was dark whether I was down or up.
The carriage stopped. It seemed like we had finally arrived at the execution area.
“Bring out the sinner!”
The carriage tilted slightly, and my body was thrown somewhere.
As soon as I touched the hot sand, my skin immediately turned red.
“Execute the sentence!”
I stood up unsteadily. The dry wind blew across my face.
This is a desert.
A land of death where all life has disappeared and only the heat of hell exists.
The penalty of crossing was carried out here.
“Walk under the sun, sinner Millenia Astrod. Walk and walk until your breath stops, and atone for your sins!”
The executioners untied the chains that bound my wrists and ankles. My hands trembled as if I was so scared.
I was about to tell him to rest assured that I was no longer a prophet but a sinner, but I stopped because I felt weak.
The sound of the carriage grew distant. I sighed in that direction.
Just tell me which way to go.
But the executioners have already left, and now I must carry out my punishment.
Let's walk.
I turned my body in the opposite direction and started walking.
The sand here was different from regular sand.
It was so hot that it could burn you if you weren't wearing safety shoes.
My feet sank deep into the sand. I could feel the skin on the soles of my feet being pushed with every step.
Being invisible can be both convenient and inconvenient.
It's convenient not to be able to see what shape my legs are in, but it's uncomfortable not to know if I'm going the right way.
It felt like flames were pouring down the top of the head. The soles of her feet and calves already seemed to be cooked.
“Haa, haa...”
I stopped for a moment, out of breath.
The crossing is just beginning, but my body just won't keep up. Thirst isn't even on the list of sufferings.
At least throw me a bucket of water and leave.
The executors don't seem to be very smart.
If I live long, won't I suffer long and atone for a long time?
I held my knees, caught my breath, and started walking again.
As I listened to the lonely footsteps, I thought of the two people I loved the most.
“I pretended to be friendly with you for Your Majesty’s sake, but honestly, I didn’t like you from the beginning. You act pitiful and make a fool of yourself as if being blind is some great misfortune. When you have everything.”
“Things that are no longer useful should be thrown away. If you leave them alone, they will just give off a rotten smell. So don’t blame me too much.”
I, who gave everyone an unfortunate future, was betrayed by my only friend and lover.
No, isn't that a betrayal? They never loved me from the beginning.
I guess these are the words of a villain.
I knelt down and prostrated myself with every step I took. The skin on my forehead that touched the sand felt hot as if it was burning.
“I made a mistake...”
“I am a sinner.”
“Don’t forgive me.”
"I'm sorry."
"I'm sorry."
"I'm sorry."
"I'm sorry."
“Sorry, uh...”
My voice didn't come out. My tongue, which had become tangled in the meantime, wouldn't turn.
I still have a long way to go before I can ask for forgiveness from those who were sacrificed because of my wrong choices, and it's already like this.
I had no choice but to pray inwardly and continue bowing.
'I was wrong.'
'I'm sorry.'
'I'm sorry.'
'Sorry.'
'Please don't forgive me.'
I bowed and stood up, but one of my legs was weak and bent.
I lost my balance and fell into the sand.
Is it noon?
The sun seems to have gotten stronger.
The pain I thought I was familiar with grew bigger and pushed its way into me.
Thank God.
It was a blessing that my family wasn't executed here.
My family was executed trying to save me.
Even though I was crazy about men and abused the prophecy, I was eventually betrayed and thrown in prison, and I couldn't let go of my family.
I threw them away a long time ago.
If there is a next life...
Of course, I'm going to hell, but if I were given just one chance, I'd like to be born as an umbrella.
So I hope I block out even a single drop of rain and then are lightly discarded when they have served their purpose.
It wouldn't be strange at all to shove me deep in a warehouse and forget about my existence.
I wish I could be that insignificant being.
I closed one eye, but it was not. My eyelids were ripe with heat. My breathing slowed down.
Is it finally over?
The black vision turned red. I felt like I was losing consciousness, but then suddenly it came back.
What...
When I came to my senses, my body was shaking.
I felt someone's arms embracing me belatedly.
Soon, something cold began to trickle down my lips.
It's water.
Who is it?
Who came to the land of death for me?
The only family that ever loved me died because of me, and the two people I thought I loved abandoned me.
I was completely alone. But who is this person?
I blinked my eyes out of habit as if that would make me see the other person.
But my retina couldn't pick up anything.
“...!...!”
I think he was saying something, but unfortunately, I couldn't hear him.
My body had already stopped almost all of its functions.
He let go of my hand, which he had been holding weakly.
It was probably the only part of my body that was intact despite all the burns.
Soon, letters were written in the palm of my hand.
Again and again.
The writing was completed slowly and carefully as if he wanted me to understand.
Suddenly, that thought occurred to me.
I wish this person would ask me anything.
I desperately wanted to give something to this person who came to the desert of death to find me.
The skin is damaged, so it's okay to ask for blood, and the teeth are relatively intact, so I can give it to you.
The words were completed as soon as I thought about them.
Please don't die
Ah...
Why do we always wish for the impossible?
I can't do that.
Even though I was on the verge of death, I felt like crying a little. I felt sorry for the people who had come this far.
I moved my lips with all my might.
"I'm sorry."
It was the end.
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