I kissed him like he did.
My chest throbbed as my startled heart pounded inside my body as if it were ny own hand.
It was the kind of kiss that resembled the sudden presence of Kaian in my life.
He arrogantly said to me, who was fading without hope or motivation, ‘Did you think you could die the way you wanted?’ and said he couldn’t allow it and forcibly injected me with vitality that wouldn’t even come out even if I scratched the floor, and completely snatched me away.
'He's not pushing me away.'
As his body moved away, it felt as if my mind also moved away, and the gap of anxiety narrowed in an instant.
Still, I wasn't just happy. My mind, which had been walking a tightrope all this time, brought about more complex and strange emotions.
Like before he opened up to me, I had to be careful about how I carried myself with his child.
The words of my confession to the man who passionately held me in his arms and was absorbed in mixing my breath as if my heart was burning, were in vain breaking against the rock. Was it like a bubble?
Well, it was probably the remains of the waves that scattered and disappeared, not the rocks.
I held Kaian, who could not feel the absence of heartache, and calmed down my bitter feelings alone.
When my lips, which had been tightly intertwined as if trying to reveal my intentions, parted, Kaian's red eyes looked down at my gold eyes.
The man, who was looking at ny eyes in silence, gently touched my dry eyes as if he were going to wipe away tears.
“Why are you making that face?”
“...”
“Like I’m going to cry.”
He rubbed his fingertips as if he had removed invisible tear stains.
“You cling to me because you like it, but you look sad.”
“...It’s because I was surprised.”
I barely answered while avoiding eye contact. When the man who appeared so unexpectedly suddenly kissed me, I felt like I had shown the emotions that had been lingering inside me in an unrefined way, and I felt a little regret.
'I don't want to be honest with Kaian.'
He often told me that I was 'fearless' but that he exposed my heart to me and it hurt me. So what did he see when I was clinging to him in such bright light?
I clung to his earlobe under his damp black hair, and as I watched the drops of water fall across his broad shoulders, his strong muscles clinging to each other, I felt Kaian's eyes rest on me, the anxiety lurking in my chest. I wish I hadn't read it.
'I was the only one who got rejected.'
Immediately after that, after returning to the castle, I remembered how every time Kaian lifted a finger or said a word to me, I couldn't say no and I became obedient to him, and I realized that I couldn't do that with the baby. It was the same.
Because the issue of a successor is important. I said that after he mentioned the treatment of the aftereffects, Kaian was not controlling me as obnoxiously or meanly as he did back then.
Even though I want to stay comfortably by his side, I just can't do that.
I fell from him and stood upright.
“Why did you come suddenly?”
Kaian's eyebrows furrowed in displeasure at my words.
“I can’t believe you’re doing something like that for the first time. Don’t be half-hearted.”
If sending the budget list to Hannah was the problem, what on earth did it have to do with him coming to scold me and kissing me before I could even say anything?
Kaian was telling me not to act half-heartedly, but he was actually acting inconsistently.
However, the more he argued with me, the more embarrassed I was, so as he criticized me, I folded my hands and lowered my head a little, becoming polite.
“I didn’t mean to be rough.”
“It’s amazing. You sent Hannah instead.”
“Just for today. It’s hard to see you.”
Kaian snorted at the excuse’s words.
“It’s quite different from last night.”
My cheeks suddenly got hot.
“Has the spirit you had when you opened the bathroom door as if you were going to break it down now gone?”
“I didn’t break it open!”
“Why don’t you open the office door like that?”
When I raised my head and met him, his face was cold and chilly, and he had a line of wrinkles between his eyebrows, but the corners of his eyes were slightly bent, and if you look at his eyes, he seemed to be happy.
'I'm being teased again.'
I shouldn't have given him an excuse in the first place.
I sighed and nodded my head.
“I will go directly. Once I get the budget sheet from Hannah.”
Now that I think about it, I ask, where did Hannah go? As he questioned, he grabbed my wrist and lifted it up.
"Here."
Kaian handed me back the paper he had taken from his desk, handmade by myself. I was astonished.
'If it's going to be like this, why did you bring it with your own hands?'
Wouldn’t it be better to just see it in person?
“Wait.”
While I was dumbfounded, Kaian quickly walked out of the room and disappeared.
After a while, heading to the office, I regretted that I had sent Hannah away for no reason.
'I should have just gone.'
I didn't have the courage to see Kaian's face, so I delayed going to the office for a while, and after much deliberation, I asked to be the minister.
In conclusion, it was worse than not doing anything. I couldn't help but sigh when I thought of the man who followed me to the bedroom and returned the budget with his own hands.
“You should become a competent Madam.”
I knew very well that he wasn't the type of person to do anything half-heartedly. I was so worried that I would have to be flawless to get a passing grade under Kaian's high standards.
“Please confess.”
As I spoke to those standing guard in front of the office, the person who bowed his head to Madam knocked on the door.
Knock knock.
As soon as I knocked on the door, I heard a voice from inside telling me to come in.
I made a self-suggestion.
'Kaian never came to the bedroom before.'
The guards on either side opened the heavy, thick door, and I went inside.
'Wow.'
I was amazed. As Kaian put it, I was a Duchess without a job, and I had no business coming into his office.
I remember that when I first came to Rowen Castle, he told me not to even think about playing and eating in his castle and handed me an invitation and a list of names to send to the people to invite them to the crocodile hunt.
I brought it myself after I had finished using it, but since Kaian was not in the office that day, I had never seen him sit comfortably in his place.
'They say he's the King of unemployed people.'
The symbol of Temnes was a lion with its mane spread out in all directions as if it were a halo. In the office, shelves for books and decorations were placed symmetrically on the left and right, and the desk was placed in the center.
The eyes of the man who looked at me as I entered the room, with his elbow resting on the armrest and his chin resting, were very much that of a ruler.
I slightly bent my knee to greet him, went in, and placed the budget table I had returned to his office with on his desk again.
As I changed my posture and sat down in front of his desk, his presence felt as if it would fill the not-so-small office.
'This person looks good in the middle of anywhere.'
I suddenly came to my senses as I remembered the familiar feeling of déjà vu, wondering when I had felt this way again. I remembered him sitting in the bathtub as if God had come to rest.
"Hmm."
He looked closely at what I had brought.
I waited impatiently for him to open his mouth.
“This is pretty good.”
"Really?"
I sighed softly at the positive answer, and Kaian took out a small piece of paper from a pile of papers piled next to him.
“But did you copy the correct answer?”
I opened my eyes wide.
“You’re smarter than you look."
In fact, I knew nothing about the Rowen estate.
Even if it was an arranged marriage between families, it was common for a couple of years after the engagement to take part in courtship and bridal training before being officially married.
In the meantime, it would be good for those who will be married to have a chat and bond. At the very least, it is a way to study and prepare in advance about the characteristics and various aspects of the woman who will play the role of hostess when she gets married.
But my marriage was a complete mess.
After the King's order to get married, there was only about a month until the ceremony, and it was the first time I saw my husband's face at the ceremony.
There was no way I knew anything about the Rowen territory.
'It's natural that you don't know. Let me help you.'
In fact, I was so resigned to the fact that I was going to die that I did not even care about living as a Duchess if at all possible, so after listening to the butler's words, I completely accepted his help.
“You don’t know much about events at Rowen Castle. You've only been here for a short time, so how can you prepare for a year’s worth of events by yourself?”
Then Kaian stretched out his face and raised the corners of his lips mischievously.
“Who said what? Madam’s ability to manage her subordinates well is also her ability.”
Only then did I realize that her Kaian was teasing me again.
'Ugh. You're so mean.'
However, I felt a sense of relief at the thought that a task I had been worrying about for some time had gone smoothly.
Kaian pushed back his chair and spread his arms.
"Come on."
I approached him awkwardly.
Kaian lifted me up onto my legs and stroked ny head.
"Good job."
“...Really?"
“No matter what I say, there’s no way that it’s true all at once.”
“You had fun just now. You’re serious, but you’re making fun of people.”
“I'm making fun of you. You did a good job, so I just thought about what you would like as a reward.”
I rested my head on his strong shoulder and squeezed the hem of his clothes.
'If you're going to give an award, it's you.'
Without realizing it, Kaian comforted me and lightly kissed me on the forehead.
I gradually relaxed in the harmonious atmosphere that had come for the first time in a while.
It felt as if my daily life had been caught up in a storm ever since I returned to the capital.
'Can we talk about the child soon?'
The reason I asked not to tell the doctor was because I was anxious because of the aftereffects, but it was also because I couldn't get my mind together after being dumped by Kaian.
'I think it'll be okay now.'
Now that I had chewed up everything, including Madame Marcel's matter, I didn't think I could be more shaken than this.
“Hey. Kaian. I have something to say...”
It was when I was just getting lucky.
Thump thump.
Instead of a light knock, there was an urgent pounding on the door.
“My Lord. His Majesty’s messenger has arrived.”
My chest throbbed as my startled heart pounded inside my body as if it were ny own hand.
It was the kind of kiss that resembled the sudden presence of Kaian in my life.
He arrogantly said to me, who was fading without hope or motivation, ‘Did you think you could die the way you wanted?’ and said he couldn’t allow it and forcibly injected me with vitality that wouldn’t even come out even if I scratched the floor, and completely snatched me away.
'He's not pushing me away.'
As his body moved away, it felt as if my mind also moved away, and the gap of anxiety narrowed in an instant.
Still, I wasn't just happy. My mind, which had been walking a tightrope all this time, brought about more complex and strange emotions.
Like before he opened up to me, I had to be careful about how I carried myself with his child.
The words of my confession to the man who passionately held me in his arms and was absorbed in mixing my breath as if my heart was burning, were in vain breaking against the rock. Was it like a bubble?
Well, it was probably the remains of the waves that scattered and disappeared, not the rocks.
I held Kaian, who could not feel the absence of heartache, and calmed down my bitter feelings alone.
When my lips, which had been tightly intertwined as if trying to reveal my intentions, parted, Kaian's red eyes looked down at my gold eyes.
The man, who was looking at ny eyes in silence, gently touched my dry eyes as if he were going to wipe away tears.
“Why are you making that face?”
“...”
“Like I’m going to cry.”
He rubbed his fingertips as if he had removed invisible tear stains.
“You cling to me because you like it, but you look sad.”
“...It’s because I was surprised.”
I barely answered while avoiding eye contact. When the man who appeared so unexpectedly suddenly kissed me, I felt like I had shown the emotions that had been lingering inside me in an unrefined way, and I felt a little regret.
'I don't want to be honest with Kaian.'
He often told me that I was 'fearless' but that he exposed my heart to me and it hurt me. So what did he see when I was clinging to him in such bright light?
I clung to his earlobe under his damp black hair, and as I watched the drops of water fall across his broad shoulders, his strong muscles clinging to each other, I felt Kaian's eyes rest on me, the anxiety lurking in my chest. I wish I hadn't read it.
'I was the only one who got rejected.'
Immediately after that, after returning to the castle, I remembered how every time Kaian lifted a finger or said a word to me, I couldn't say no and I became obedient to him, and I realized that I couldn't do that with the baby. It was the same.
Because the issue of a successor is important. I said that after he mentioned the treatment of the aftereffects, Kaian was not controlling me as obnoxiously or meanly as he did back then.
Even though I want to stay comfortably by his side, I just can't do that.
I fell from him and stood upright.
“Why did you come suddenly?”
Kaian's eyebrows furrowed in displeasure at my words.
“I can’t believe you’re doing something like that for the first time. Don’t be half-hearted.”
If sending the budget list to Hannah was the problem, what on earth did it have to do with him coming to scold me and kissing me before I could even say anything?
Kaian was telling me not to act half-heartedly, but he was actually acting inconsistently.
However, the more he argued with me, the more embarrassed I was, so as he criticized me, I folded my hands and lowered my head a little, becoming polite.
“I didn’t mean to be rough.”
“It’s amazing. You sent Hannah instead.”
“Just for today. It’s hard to see you.”
Kaian snorted at the excuse’s words.
“It’s quite different from last night.”
My cheeks suddenly got hot.
“Has the spirit you had when you opened the bathroom door as if you were going to break it down now gone?”
“I didn’t break it open!”
“Why don’t you open the office door like that?”
When I raised my head and met him, his face was cold and chilly, and he had a line of wrinkles between his eyebrows, but the corners of his eyes were slightly bent, and if you look at his eyes, he seemed to be happy.
'I'm being teased again.'
I shouldn't have given him an excuse in the first place.
I sighed and nodded my head.
“I will go directly. Once I get the budget sheet from Hannah.”
Now that I think about it, I ask, where did Hannah go? As he questioned, he grabbed my wrist and lifted it up.
"Here."
Kaian handed me back the paper he had taken from his desk, handmade by myself. I was astonished.
'If it's going to be like this, why did you bring it with your own hands?'
Wouldn’t it be better to just see it in person?
“Wait.”
While I was dumbfounded, Kaian quickly walked out of the room and disappeared.
***
After a while, heading to the office, I regretted that I had sent Hannah away for no reason.
'I should have just gone.'
I didn't have the courage to see Kaian's face, so I delayed going to the office for a while, and after much deliberation, I asked to be the minister.
In conclusion, it was worse than not doing anything. I couldn't help but sigh when I thought of the man who followed me to the bedroom and returned the budget with his own hands.
“You should become a competent Madam.”
I knew very well that he wasn't the type of person to do anything half-heartedly. I was so worried that I would have to be flawless to get a passing grade under Kaian's high standards.
“Please confess.”
As I spoke to those standing guard in front of the office, the person who bowed his head to Madam knocked on the door.
Knock knock.
As soon as I knocked on the door, I heard a voice from inside telling me to come in.
I made a self-suggestion.
'Kaian never came to the bedroom before.'
The guards on either side opened the heavy, thick door, and I went inside.
'Wow.'
I was amazed. As Kaian put it, I was a Duchess without a job, and I had no business coming into his office.
I remember that when I first came to Rowen Castle, he told me not to even think about playing and eating in his castle and handed me an invitation and a list of names to send to the people to invite them to the crocodile hunt.
I brought it myself after I had finished using it, but since Kaian was not in the office that day, I had never seen him sit comfortably in his place.
'They say he's the King of unemployed people.'
The symbol of Temnes was a lion with its mane spread out in all directions as if it were a halo. In the office, shelves for books and decorations were placed symmetrically on the left and right, and the desk was placed in the center.
The eyes of the man who looked at me as I entered the room, with his elbow resting on the armrest and his chin resting, were very much that of a ruler.
I slightly bent my knee to greet him, went in, and placed the budget table I had returned to his office with on his desk again.
As I changed my posture and sat down in front of his desk, his presence felt as if it would fill the not-so-small office.
'This person looks good in the middle of anywhere.'
I suddenly came to my senses as I remembered the familiar feeling of déjà vu, wondering when I had felt this way again. I remembered him sitting in the bathtub as if God had come to rest.
"Hmm."
He looked closely at what I had brought.
I waited impatiently for him to open his mouth.
“This is pretty good.”
"Really?"
I sighed softly at the positive answer, and Kaian took out a small piece of paper from a pile of papers piled next to him.
“But did you copy the correct answer?”
I opened my eyes wide.
“You’re smarter than you look."
In fact, I knew nothing about the Rowen estate.
Even if it was an arranged marriage between families, it was common for a couple of years after the engagement to take part in courtship and bridal training before being officially married.
In the meantime, it would be good for those who will be married to have a chat and bond. At the very least, it is a way to study and prepare in advance about the characteristics and various aspects of the woman who will play the role of hostess when she gets married.
But my marriage was a complete mess.
After the King's order to get married, there was only about a month until the ceremony, and it was the first time I saw my husband's face at the ceremony.
There was no way I knew anything about the Rowen territory.
'It's natural that you don't know. Let me help you.'
In fact, I was so resigned to the fact that I was going to die that I did not even care about living as a Duchess if at all possible, so after listening to the butler's words, I completely accepted his help.
“You don’t know much about events at Rowen Castle. You've only been here for a short time, so how can you prepare for a year’s worth of events by yourself?”
Then Kaian stretched out his face and raised the corners of his lips mischievously.
“Who said what? Madam’s ability to manage her subordinates well is also her ability.”
Only then did I realize that her Kaian was teasing me again.
'Ugh. You're so mean.'
However, I felt a sense of relief at the thought that a task I had been worrying about for some time had gone smoothly.
Kaian pushed back his chair and spread his arms.
"Come on."
I approached him awkwardly.
Kaian lifted me up onto my legs and stroked ny head.
"Good job."
“...Really?"
“No matter what I say, there’s no way that it’s true all at once.”
“You had fun just now. You’re serious, but you’re making fun of people.”
“I'm making fun of you. You did a good job, so I just thought about what you would like as a reward.”
I rested my head on his strong shoulder and squeezed the hem of his clothes.
'If you're going to give an award, it's you.'
Without realizing it, Kaian comforted me and lightly kissed me on the forehead.
I gradually relaxed in the harmonious atmosphere that had come for the first time in a while.
It felt as if my daily life had been caught up in a storm ever since I returned to the capital.
'Can we talk about the child soon?'
The reason I asked not to tell the doctor was because I was anxious because of the aftereffects, but it was also because I couldn't get my mind together after being dumped by Kaian.
'I think it'll be okay now.'
Now that I had chewed up everything, including Madame Marcel's matter, I didn't think I could be more shaken than this.
“Hey. Kaian. I have something to say...”
It was when I was just getting lucky.
Thump thump.
Instead of a light knock, there was an urgent pounding on the door.
“My Lord. His Majesty’s messenger has arrived.”
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