IHMEB - Chapter 84 < The Desire I Didn't Have >






“This spell works here too. I saw the Duchess open the door herself.”

At Rowen, he sometimes loitered in the doorway like this.

I opened the door and said 'Are you here?' It seemed like he thought it was a welcome sign. Sometimes, even if I opened the door and told him to come in, I had to stand on the other side of the open door and stare at him and urge him to come in.

In the royal castle, there were two maids standing guard in front of the Duke and Duchess's bedroom door, so there was no need to open the door themselves, but some nobles who were allowed to stay in the royal hunting lodge were waited on by those they brought with them, except for meals.

What do you mean by opening the door?

I felt a strange sense of relief when I saw Kaian knocking on the door as if an opportunity had arisen.

Since he came to the capital, I have been able to see many different sides of Kaian.

In the estate, I had been an idle lady so far that I never brought my work with me when Kaian came to see me.

As I spent the entire time in the capital sharing the same room, I realized how busy and great a person the Duke of Temnes was.

While it was nice to watch him work, which I rarely had a chance to see, I also thought that there were still so many aspects of him that I didn't know about. This was because I was unfamiliar with the unknown, making me feel distant, like a stranger.

However, the man standing in front of the door looking down at me was a familiar face, as if he had taken it straight from Rowen Castle, so I was even more glad to see it. I playfully bounced off my words.

“If you’re not going to come in, should we close the road?”

“It’s kind of mean.”

“This is not your castle.”

When Kaian came inside, I felt a cold breath coming from the large man.

“Have you been outside yet?”

He had not even changed into comfortable clothes and was still wearing hunting clothes, a coat, and a cape.

“Let’s go out for a moment.”

“Now?”

I, who had just changed into pajamas, looked at him with a puzzled look.

“It doesn’t matter if you keep going.”

Kaian made me sit on the bed, put my fur boots on, and put my coat over my nightgown, and then he took off his cloak and began to wrap me up.

“What are you doing?”

“This is better because it’s cold outside.”

I, whose arms and legs were covered with a thick cloak so that I could not move them, only blinked at Kaian's unexpected actions.

He gave me a light hug and strode out of the room.

“Where are you going...”

"Shh. Quiet. Are you planning to show people like this?”

It looked so strange that anyone who saw it would gasp.

'If that's the case, you could have just let me walk, right?'

Claudel wanted to argue, but I held back for fear of waking up the servants in the quiet villa.

A very late night.

A husband wraps his wife up in a cloak and takes her outside.

If it were the Duke of Temnes and the Duchess of Vermont, rumors and delusions might be added.

Kaian walked well on a dark, unlit forest path.

Claudel was anxious because she could hear what sounded like the cries of wild animals here and there.

“Kaian.”

"Why?"

“You’re not planning on throwing me out there, are you?”

I wondered what would happen if Kaian left me in the forest, wrapped up like this.

"What?"

“...No, right?”

“This is ridiculous. Who am I to go through all this trouble?”

I was still wrapped in his cloak, clenching and opening my hands anxiously.

I could feel the dampness of my palms as if they were sweating.

“Everyone is here.”

Hearing Kaian's words, he turned his head and saw a small log house.

He deftly opened the door with his foot, still holding me, and entered before setting me down on the floor so that I could stand. Warm moisture suddenly hit me.

“What are we doing here?”

Unlike what it looked like from the outside, the inside of the log cabin looked like a bathroom made of tiles and plaster.

In the center, there was a large wooden barrel stuck to the floor, and three luxurious chairs were placed around the circle.

Instead of answering me, Kaian untied the cloak around me, held me obliquely in one of his arms, and removed my fur boots from my feet.

Then he picked me up again, hugged me, and made me sit in the chair.

“Put your leg in the water here.”

As I sat in the chair, I noticed that the water level in the wooden bucket was just right below my knees.

I did as Kaian told me, rolled up my pajamas slightly above my knees, and then put my bare legs into the wooden bucket.

"..."

The water was a little hotter than what I usually use for bathing.

Maybe that's why, as soon as I put it in, I felt like all the pain and fatigue that had been bothering me from my toes, ankles, and calves, in that order, went away.

"How is it? Are you okay?”

I never said my leg hurt. It was amazing how he always took care of what I needed before I even said it as if he knew what I needed.

I nodded my head.

“How did you know my leg hurt?”

The capital city was full of things for me to explore.

There were many people looking for Kaian, who said that no matter how many times Valquiterre called him, he would come to the castle at least once.

I only walked a little fast the day I first arrived in the capital, but my throbbing leg actually hurt every day after that.

'I thought you recovered well and didn't feel sick.'

He was clearly mistaken.

Unless it was a ball or a festival, ladies did not run or rush about.

I didn't feel pain when I was walking slowly, riding a carriage, or going back and forth between the bedrooms and bookshelves in the castle, but it was quite difficult to walk around the capital, going up and down stairs, and keeping up with the flow of other people.

I, who believed that the reason was a lack of walking practice, had decided that when I returned to Rowen, I would pay more attention to taking a walk every day.

“Do you think you don’t even know that? Walking is different from usual.”

Kaian said casually.

Pong. Pong.

The hot springs bubbled and filled the container.

It felt like the warmth of the water was soothing my heart, relieving the pain.

'If your leg hurts, call me right away.'

When Kaian said that, I thought he was blaming me for going out of the tent against his will.

Now I know he said that because he knew my leg was hurting.

“This is the famous Hot Springs of Holderley Round.”

"That's right. It is known to be good for pain and recovery.”

Kaian took off his outer garment, folded the sleeves of his shirt, pulled up a chair, sat down next to me, and put his hand inside me, caressing my slender legs.

“If you rest here for a few days and take a slow bath in the hot springs, you will feel much better.”

I stared at him as he carefully massaged my legs.

I felt strange.

I was happy that he was taking care of me, but the bridge of my nose felt sore and I was in tears.

'I was going to ask you what your relationship is with Princess Bianque.'

Looking at Kaian now, all my doubts disappeared.

The man who treated even the Princess coldly with his cold face was busy paying attention to my legs with relaxed eyes.

“Kaian. Thank you."

My eyes, embracing Kaian's red pupils, narrowed at my words.

"It was nothing."

“I heard you don’t really like coming to the capital. Did you come here on purpose because of me?”

Valquiterre said Kaian was overprotecting himself.

He threatened me that he would not attend if I did not get rid of the dangerous beasts to bring to this hunting ground.

Judging by the way he had come prepared, I thought he had planned to bring me here from the beginning.

“It’s not that I particularly dislike coming to the capital or anything. I was busy for a few years after going to the battlefield, so there was a lot of work at Rowen.”

He took his hand out of the water and shook it dry.

“It’s true that I came here on purpose. I knew the hot springs here would help with your treatment.”

I was excited to hear those words. I didn't like it when Kaian bought me a bunch of things that I couldn't use and gave me as gifts because it felt like he was paying me for sleeping with him.

Even though I told him not to give it to me, Kaian always did what he wanted, so there was a pile of valuables in my dressing room that he never even touched.

But as soon as I thought about whether the man cared about me, I felt my heart racing with joy.

“I’ve troubled you.”

“It’s no trouble for me.”

As I opened my eyes, Kaian reached out his hand and stroked my head.

“It’s not a bother. If there is a woman who can annoy me, who else but you.”

He had a habit of speaking very rudely, but if I look at his hidden meaning, he was a truly upright husband.

My mouth tickled.

I wanted to tell Kaian honestly how I felt right now.

However, the words that were spoken cannot be taken back.

I had not yet lost my senses that much, so he jumped up from the chair I was sitting on.

The water that was almost full of the wooden barrel overflowed and spilled onto the floor.

"Why all of a sudden...”

The man who had been examining my legs the whole time looked up at me, who was standing in front of him as if he were puzzled.

I grabbed the back of Kaian's neck with my hand.

Kaian's head was tilted back as if he had been caught off guard, and his handsome lips parted.

I greedily kissed him with my mouth.

I pushed the accumulated emotions that had been harboring and maturing for several months into my mouth with the tip of my tongue.

An unrefined breath escaped harshly between my lips which were pressed against each other.

I was impatient.

I felt like I had to do something about this man in front of me right away.

If I could, I would chew it up and swallow it little by little.

Don't let anything take Kaian away from me or separate me from him.

But I didn't have the strength to do that. Both money and status were subordinate to him as long as he allowed it.

The desire I did not have led to a more persistent obsession, and I suffered from a feeling of emptiness that could not be satisfied even though I was hugging Kaian.

“...”

After a deep kiss that seemed to have gone all the way to the root of greed, I lost all strength in my body.

When I came to my senses, I was already sitting on Kaian's thighs.

As the candles that filled the cozy space swayed in the wind, I couldn't clearly see what Kaian's expression was.

But I didn't care.

It was more important, to be honest and faithful to my own heart and my desires.

I hugged Kaian and whispered softly.

“I want to have you.”



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