Franz could not bear to refuse Judith's request, which sounded so earnest. It was natural for her to feel nervous, considering the generally intolerant attitude of the nobles towards foreigners and her precarious position in the palace.
Franz, who was worried, had a servant bring him several books. The study at Astel Palace was unreasonably small for the King's eldest son, but it was equipped with enough books to explain everything Judith wanted.
“...So, in the south, various small countries are currently intertwined and constantly fighting wars. We are ostensibly in an alliance with the neighboring Grand Duchy of Melgan and the Duchy of Catania, but if the duchy declares that it will no longer provide some of its territory to them, a full-scale standoff will occur.”
Franz's explanations, which he taught with a map and a book open at the same time, were easy to understand and detailed. Most of it was something that Judith knew, but there were some things that she knew nothing about. It was mainly related to foreign politics involving the Kingdom of Rotair and the power struggles of each country.
At this rate, passing the entrance exam wouldn't be a problem. Considering the average age of students entering the academy, the expectations of professors and scholars did not seem that great.
Except when he was young, he would not have received a proper education from scholars in the royal castle, so having this level of knowledge was a great thing. Judith was determined to send Franz to Delaca at all costs. If his skills were at this level, he would be able to persuade not only the Duke of Vergy but also some other nobles who felt sorry for his situation.
“Should this be enough for today?”
He easily noticed that she had lost concentration because abe was thinking about something else. Judith made an embarrassed expression and played with the corner of the book.
“It’s more complicated than I thought.”
“If this is your first time hearing something like this, you can’t help but feel that way. Once you get used to it, you’ll be fine.”
Franz spoke as if comforting her. As soon as he finished speaking, the servant brought tea. It was something they had done without realizing it, but they had not thought about it, so they were both confused for a moment.
An awkward tea time has begun. While Judith hesitated, Franz filled her cup with tea. He opened the lid of the white ceramic sugar container, took a small sugar tong, and shook the container for a while as if he were looking for something. Judith's expression became puzzled.
"Your Highness, what are you doing?”
There was a sound of something being caught on the tip of the tongs. He carefully took something out of the container.
Judith had seen the rose petal sugar used for tea at the Palace of Astel once or twice in her past life. It is made by picking freshly bloomed roses in early summer, drying them one by one so that the petals do not fall off, and then applying sugar to the outside several times.
It was a bush rose that only grew in the Duchy of Vergy, with more petals and smaller clusters than common rose varieties, so the only place in all of Rotair's royal palaces where rose petal sugar could be seen was the Astel Palace. Even Queen Gilsis could not use this luxurious sugar.
Franz took out the flower with the prettiest shape and the most colored petals from the sugar container and put it in Judith's teacup. The petals that sank for a moment under the weight of the sugar floated on the tea water like a boat after it was all dissolved. An exclamation of admiration naturally flowed from Judith's lips at the curves and vivid colors of the beautifully curved petals.
"So pretty."
No matter how pretty the rose sugar is, if you bump it around in a sack or bottle, the corners will get chipped or the shape will get damaged, but the one Franz put in Judith's glass was not without a scratch. He didn't bother to find something that wasn't broken.
As Judith looked into the teacup with a happy face, a faint smile appeared on Franz's lips.
“When I was young, my father would always put unbroken sugar in my mother’s teacup.”
Judith took a sip of tea while lightly blowing on the flower petals and looked towards Franz. It was the first time in her two lives that he said something like this.
King Jedercayer, who was bedridden and unconscious for a long time, said that he loved and cherished Franz's mother very much.
When she heard that his mental illness had become so deep, she remembered shedding tears and sighing out of pity for Franz and envy of the late Queen Mother.
What does it feel like to be loved so much by your one and only husband?
Even if Judith ran into Franz, it was difficult to make proper eye contact, and even talking a few words was something she couldn't even dream of. At the same time, if his parents, who cared for each other so much, had survived, Franz would have continued to live an enviable life as a noble Crown Prince, which made her sigh.
“What kind of person was the late Queen?”
Judith, who was carefully trying her luck, caught sight of the sugar in Franz's teacup. It was much smaller than the one in Judith's teacup and its shape was broken. It was a small thing, but her heart suddenly felt numb. She felt sorry that he had lived abandoned for so long that he did not know even the simplest way to protect himself.
Franz, who was silent for a moment with his lips pressed to the teacup, changed just enough to be barely noticeable. His thick eyebrows furrowed slightly, and his golden eyes, as if they had been dripped with a drop of glossy honey, trembled slightly. The faint sadness and sorrow that appeared on the handsome face of a young man quietly shook Judith's heart.
“She was a gentle and calm person. She was so weak-hearted that she couldn’t even kill a single bug.”
“You... It seems like you take after the late Queen Mother in having a kind heart.”
Franz turned his head and looked at Judith. He lowers his gaze and laughs quietly.
“I am not a good person.”
“You took pity on me. You are a good person to me.”
Judith said. Franz silently assessed the weight of her words. Is goodness really that personal?
“What kind of person was the late Queen?”
Judith, who was carefully trying her luck, caught sight of the sugar in Franz's teacup. It was much smaller than the one in Judith's teacup and its shape was broken. It was a small thing, but her heart suddenly felt numb. She felt sorry that he had lived abandoned for so long that he did not know even the simplest way to protect himself.
Franz, who was silent for a moment with his lips pressed to the teacup, changed just enough to be barely noticeable. His thick eyebrows furrowed slightly, and his golden eyes, as if they had been dripped with a drop of glossy honey, trembled slightly. The faint sadness and sorrow that appeared on the handsome face of a young man quietly shook Judith's heart.
“She was a gentle and calm person. She was so weak-hearted that she couldn’t even kill a single bug.”
“You... It seems like you take after the late Queen Mother in having a kind heart.”
Franz turned his head and looked at Judith. He lowers his gaze and laughs quietly.
“I am not a good person.”
“You took pity on me. You are a good person to me.”
Judith said. Franz silently assessed the weight of her words. Is goodness really that personal?
Although he did not receive the education of a Crown Prince, he was well aware of the qualities a King should have. Kindness is also one of the virtues a King must have, but Franz did not consider himself a good person.
“Why don’t you think of me as a good person?”
Silence fell. Franz, who had been fiddling with the handle of the teacup for a while, scoffed at her.
“Because I cannot forgive.”
As he spent time quietly alone in Astel Palace, where no one visited, there was a feeling of hatred that would creep in and grab hold of his ankles. It was so deep and so dark that it was difficult to distinguish it when mixed with the darkness of the night.
Franz gave much of himself to that dark hatred. Trying not to be swept away by it was just a thing of the past, and the distant helplessness that had engulfed him at some point was slowly eating away at Franz's spirit.
“Why don’t you think of me as a good person?”
Silence fell. Franz, who had been fiddling with the handle of the teacup for a while, scoffed at her.
“Because I cannot forgive.”
As he spent time quietly alone in Astel Palace, where no one visited, there was a feeling of hatred that would creep in and grab hold of his ankles. It was so deep and so dark that it was difficult to distinguish it when mixed with the darkness of the night.
Franz gave much of himself to that dark hatred. Trying not to be swept away by it was just a thing of the past, and the distant helplessness that had engulfed him at some point was slowly eating away at Franz's spirit.
He has thought more than once that he might go crazy if he continues like this. There weren't many ways to relieve the violent impulses that rose up from time to time. All he has to do is swing a sword, ride a horse, escape the palace, and run endlessly. But even that wasn't easy because he didn't want to be seen by others.
If many people find out that he is excellent at swordsmanship and horseback riding, this fact will undoubtedly reach the Queen's ears. So Franz completely hid his abilities.
Pretending that there was nothing he could do, he kept his mouth shut as the Queen mocked him and criticized him. Anger and depression built up in Franz's mind like that. As it gathered and grew into a mountain, he finally got out of control.
“I am the most despised person, having neither the courage nor the will to create opportunities, but only giving myself over to hatred.”
“It’s not your fault. You know that too.”
“Blaming someone else doesn’t change the situation. Rather, it only increases the dark desires.”
“Even so, you must not let yourself go. Don’t give up on yourself.”
“You said that before.”
Franz pushed his glass away and leaned a little toward the back of the chair. Even though they were so close, the distance between them showed no signs of narrowing. Either one could reach it only if he stretched out his hand, but neither Franz nor Judith seemed to have had the opportunity to do so yet.
Nevertheless, Judith really wanted to hug him at this moment. Just like she felt when she saw him so angry and helpless.
“I said letting myself go was my biggest fear.”
“Yes, Your Highness. It still is. It will continue to be that way.”
“Even if I were to remain sane, I wouldn’t be able to give you the glory befitting your status. Please don’t lie and say that it would be an honor just to endure it without going crazy.”
Judith smiled and lowered her head. If Franz hadn't added those words, Judith would probably have said those words to comfort him. Even though he clearly knew that Franz would not be fooled, she had no choice but to do so.
"All right. I won’t lie like that.”
The life that would have been considered sane is already over. She left the miserable corpse in a tower filled with nothing but cold, pain, and hunger.
The glory that Judith saw was higher and farther away. It was her glory, but not just for her. It is an honor that she will never be able to experience until she sees Franz sitting in the highest position of Rotair.
“But, Your Highness, hatred is not that bad.”
“What does that mean?”
“Well-honed hatred sometimes becomes a driving force.”
There was no answer. Judith gathered her courage and gently held Franz's fingertips on the table.
Franz, who was looking down at her thin, bluish hand with visible veins, moved his fingertips slightly and intertwined them with Judith's fingers. Even with that little touch, Judith felt her cheeks turn red. She wanted to put something into his lukewarm fingertips. Whether it is a black-forged sword, beautiful lace, or the handle of a poisonous vessel.
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