“Claudel, Claudel, Wake up!"
Kaian lifted her body from the bed, hugged Claudel at an angle, and gently patted her cheek.
“Claudel.”
When Claudel was withering away in her prime, there was a time when he thought a person grew smaller every time he looked at her.
He never felt like she was getting bigger while she was recovering.
With her shoulders hunched and shivering, she looked small again, just like she did the day she was sick.
“Ugh.”
Claudel was moaning in pain, her whole body drenched in cold sweat to the point that her hair was wet, and she clenched her teeth and closed her eyes as if she was enduring something terrible in her dream. She was frowning.
Just like the night they celebrated their first night.
At the same time, she was trembling while holding onto the hem of Kaian's clothes, to the point where her fingers turned white from lack of blood as if she would be in big trouble if he let go of him.
Kaian shook off the unpleasant feeling of déjà vu, hugged Claudel, and slowly rubbed her back.
Claudel's small body, which had become soaked as if her thin pajamas had been soaked from somewhere, flinched and opened her eyes.
“...Kaian.”
There was moisture in the golden eyes that were clearly visible even in the dark.
“Huh...Huh...”
Claudel cried, her body shaking slightly.
Kaian held her in his arms until she calmed down.
When the woman, who had been sobbing for a while and breathing heavily, calmed down, Kaian carefully removed his hold on her arms.
“Did you have a nightmare?”
Claudel nodded slightly.
After laying her down on the bed, Kaian got up and poured water.
When he put the cup to her mouth, Claudel lowered her head and moistened her lips little by little, like a bird pecking at water with its beak.
Her fingertips, which were still shaking slightly, did not seem to have the strength to accept the cup.
Kaian glanced at him sideways, but he pretended not to see and gave her water for a while.
"Thank you."
Claudel muttered softly.
“I need to change my clothes.”
“...Yes."
After giving her answer, she seemed dazed and did not move.
“You have a cold.”
When Claudel didn't move, Kaian headed to the dressing room connected to the bedroom.
He found a new nightgown among Hannah's neatly organized clothes and brought it back.
“Take it off. Hurry."
Claudel barely managed to take off her pajamas, and as soon as her bare skin was visible, Kaian put on a new pair of pajamas.
After buttoning her up with meticulous care, he took a towel and wrapped Claudel's damp hair as if to dry it.
Claudel seemed to have finally recovered from the shock of the nightmare and returned with clearer eyes than before.
Kaiin hugged Claudel and lay down on the bed again.
“Was the trip too much?”
Claudel's recovery went smoothly.
She got better day by day without slowing down or getting worse, so even when he received Valquiterre's invitation, he never thought about not being able to go because of her health.
The carriage journey was not always easy, so he stayed in the city as slowly as possible and took his time to check on her physical condition.
However, seeing her having such a hard time made him wonder if she had some other illness.
"No. This is because of the trip.”
“First of all, I changed your clothes. Should I call a doctor now?”
He couldn't call the doctor because she was sweating so much that her thin nightgown, which was transparent earlier, was sticking to her body, and she was holding on to him and not letting go.
Claudel shook her head at his words.
"It's okay. It was just a dream.”
“What did you dream about?”
“A scary dream.”
When Claudel frowned her face as if in pain, Kaian felt his heartache.
Even after taking the life of someone who was a precious husband, son, or father to a certain family countless times, how could a heart that was as dull as if it were armored in iron tingle like a thorn had been pressed against one woman's expression?
“It looked like you were having a lot of trouble.”
At his words, Claudel seemed to hesitate whether to speak or not.
“The village where I lived as a child caught fire.”
She stuttered.
“Dad held me and ran away from the fire. Hannah too.”
“I see. Did you dream about what happened back then?”
"Mom is... Strangely, I don’t remember my mother’s face.”
Usually, around the age of ten, she will be unable to forget her mother's face.
“Dad was a very cool person. Maybe even more than you.”
"Than me?"
“My dad is tall and handsome too.”
“He's different from the Duke of Vermont.”
Claudel finally laughed a little at what Kaian couldn't help but add.
"That's right. The Duke of Vermont looks nothing like my father.”
It was one of the things that Claudel considered truly fortunate.
“There is nothing similar except for having red hair and golden eyes.”
My father.
Even in the eyes of young me, Evan was a wonderful person who was different from others.
First of all, he was much taller and, like Kaian now, had a muscular body from training every day.
Even for a man, running down a mountain path carrying a ten-year-old girl would not have been as easy as it sounds, but Evan, who ran while holding me and Hannah in his arms, must have been stronger than I remembered.
“Dad was strong enough to split a very thick tree with one swing of an axe. He was weak towards my mom. On me too.”
Evan had an exciting personality, so he often played pranks on me.
He made trivial bets like whether he could play rock-paper-scissors, long jump, or eat a cookie with jam in one bite.
Then, I always won, and Evan was upset that he lost, and with a disappointed look on his face, he would sneak candy out of her pocket.
“Dad has never beaten me. He was always the one to lose to me.”
I took him to Hannah and shared it with her, boasting that he had beaten her dad again.
I felt like I finally figured it out now.
He said he lost on purpose so he could see his little daughter happy.
My father was also very weak to my mother, so when he heard her nag or even slightly pinched him, he would hang his head and pretend to faint or fall down.
Then, my angry mother laughed as if she was shocked, and Evan quietly got up and hugged my mother.
I had a good relationship with my parents.
“Dad loves what is weak, and he loses to what is weaker than him.”
Perhaps the reason my father followed in my mother's footsteps and took his own life was because he felt guilty about not being able to do his part to protect the vulnerable.
If only he had loved my mother, he wouldn't have left the world like that, leaving his daughter behind.
However, while listening to Claudel's words, Kaian fell into other thoughts.
'He loved being weak.'
It seemed like Kaian knew a little bit about that feeling.
In fact, he was a man who gnashed his teeth saying that it would not be a good idea to tear him to death.
He felt a subtle sense of pleasure as he made a place for the unopened grave of the Vermont woman in the castle catacombs.
If Claudel had resisted him vigorously and tried to disgrace Temnes, Kaian would have broken her spirit with his terrible methods.
He changed because she didn't.
She was a sick and weak woman, so she kept getting on his nerves.
However, his relationship with Claudel has not gone that far yet.
'After having one or two children, can that person become that precious?'
That he followed in the footsteps of his dead wife and took his own life.
If he were to choose the most important thing to him right now, it would definitely be the Rowen Estate.
He was a man raised that way.
From the time he was born until the moment he breathed his last, he was prepared to take on the responsibility of protecting and governing the land as the lord of Rowen and the head of Temnes.
So although it was a misfortune that Claudel actually experienced, he had to choose that kind of life so her father's story did not resonate with her.
'Unlike the Duke of Vermont, he was not the heir, so he must have been a soft person.'
Perhaps it was because Claudel had told him that her father seemed to be cooler than him that his doubts continued to bite him.
In the meantime, Claudel, who was bringing up her memories with her father, trailed off.
“I remember my dad like this. My mom...”
I couldn't remember the fire that seemed to burn up the night sky, as if it had burned even the memories in my mind.
It's not that I didn't remember her from the beginning, but after my father's funeral and my insomnia began, even if I tried to think of my mother, it was as if her face had been erased.
“...Is it because of Madame Cronach?”
I must have been surprised to see her during the day, seeing the woman in my dream with her face distorted like candle wax melting and flowing.
But even though she was the woman I had seen in my dream, she did not have the face of Madame Cronach.
'I was the one who was rude, so what if that person gets hurt for no reason?'
It seemed like she would feel sorry for Madame Cronach if Kaian, who made decisions quickly and decisively, cut off his deal with Salon Arvo.
"No. When I had severe insomnia, I sometimes had strange dreams.”
I decided to distract him.
“Thanks to you, I haven’t had any insomnia symptoms for a while. I sleep well every day. Still, I guess I had a nightmare because I was nervous and tired about staying in the royal castle.”
That I sleep well with you.
“The royal power was the problem. I will return to the capital mansion tomorrow.”
“Don’t do that. I slept well last night. I don’t know if this happens every day.”
“You need to take care of yourself. I’m just saying it’s okay to be a Duchess.”
"Really. I was just surprised.”
Kaian snorted as I squeezed his hand.
That also gave him strength.
Anyway, sometimes it's cute because it's trivial, but he's indeed worried when he thinks of it as a health problem.
“I guess I’ll have to cancel the opera tomorrow.”
"Yes?"
“There’s no need to overdo it. Get some rest.”
"No, I do not want."
I looked with a straight face.
“I want to go see it. I don’t know how many times I will live in Rowen for the rest of my life and come to the capital again.”
Meanwhile, Kaian's heart softened because Claud said she would live in Rowen for the rest of her life.
“Instead, if you don’t feel well, you should return to the castle right away.”
“I’ll do as you say.”
Claudel snuggled into her husband's arms as if to show her foolishness.
As Kaian gently stroked her head, she quickly fell asleep again, perhaps because she had just had a hard time getting through the nightmare.
Fortunately, in her second dream, Claudel was in the flower garden at the back of Rowen Castle, which she had long since missed.
***
If I were to choose the best place in the Oberon capital, it would definitely be the place where you can see the castle, which shines brightly even at night.
Madame Cronach stayed on the top floor of the Salon Arno, which was built over four floors.
From the first to the third floors, she occupied spaces decorated for different purposes to accommodate noble guests.
The fourth floor had lavishly decorated rooms, so she sometimes received secret guests who did not want to stay at the hotel.
The rest of the space was hers.
Madame Cronach sipped her drink as she looked out from the terrace at the castle, with its gold-leafed roof shining.
“Are you having a nice dream, Claudel?”
Today she was able to meet the daughter of her dreams for the first time in ten years.
Although she couldn't step forward as a mother.
As she was thinking about the moments when she had suppressed her emotions without showing them, she felt a moment of injustice.
“Duke of Vermont. If only it weren’t for him.”
Her tone of voice showed no respect or admiration for the noble Duke.
The Duke of Vermont's unforgettable words still rang vividly in her ears.
‘Don’t come here again. Claudel. Why are you saying she is your daughter? On the subject of a miserable commoner!'
“Claudel.”
When Claudel was withering away in her prime, there was a time when he thought a person grew smaller every time he looked at her.
He never felt like she was getting bigger while she was recovering.
With her shoulders hunched and shivering, she looked small again, just like she did the day she was sick.
“Ugh.”
Claudel was moaning in pain, her whole body drenched in cold sweat to the point that her hair was wet, and she clenched her teeth and closed her eyes as if she was enduring something terrible in her dream. She was frowning.
Just like the night they celebrated their first night.
At the same time, she was trembling while holding onto the hem of Kaian's clothes, to the point where her fingers turned white from lack of blood as if she would be in big trouble if he let go of him.
Kaian shook off the unpleasant feeling of déjà vu, hugged Claudel, and slowly rubbed her back.
Claudel's small body, which had become soaked as if her thin pajamas had been soaked from somewhere, flinched and opened her eyes.
“...Kaian.”
There was moisture in the golden eyes that were clearly visible even in the dark.
“Huh...Huh...”
Claudel cried, her body shaking slightly.
Kaian held her in his arms until she calmed down.
When the woman, who had been sobbing for a while and breathing heavily, calmed down, Kaian carefully removed his hold on her arms.
“Did you have a nightmare?”
Claudel nodded slightly.
After laying her down on the bed, Kaian got up and poured water.
When he put the cup to her mouth, Claudel lowered her head and moistened her lips little by little, like a bird pecking at water with its beak.
Her fingertips, which were still shaking slightly, did not seem to have the strength to accept the cup.
Kaian glanced at him sideways, but he pretended not to see and gave her water for a while.
"Thank you."
Claudel muttered softly.
“I need to change my clothes.”
“...Yes."
After giving her answer, she seemed dazed and did not move.
“You have a cold.”
When Claudel didn't move, Kaian headed to the dressing room connected to the bedroom.
He found a new nightgown among Hannah's neatly organized clothes and brought it back.
“Take it off. Hurry."
Claudel barely managed to take off her pajamas, and as soon as her bare skin was visible, Kaian put on a new pair of pajamas.
After buttoning her up with meticulous care, he took a towel and wrapped Claudel's damp hair as if to dry it.
Claudel seemed to have finally recovered from the shock of the nightmare and returned with clearer eyes than before.
Kaiin hugged Claudel and lay down on the bed again.
“Was the trip too much?”
Claudel's recovery went smoothly.
She got better day by day without slowing down or getting worse, so even when he received Valquiterre's invitation, he never thought about not being able to go because of her health.
The carriage journey was not always easy, so he stayed in the city as slowly as possible and took his time to check on her physical condition.
However, seeing her having such a hard time made him wonder if she had some other illness.
"No. This is because of the trip.”
“First of all, I changed your clothes. Should I call a doctor now?”
He couldn't call the doctor because she was sweating so much that her thin nightgown, which was transparent earlier, was sticking to her body, and she was holding on to him and not letting go.
Claudel shook her head at his words.
"It's okay. It was just a dream.”
“What did you dream about?”
“A scary dream.”
When Claudel frowned her face as if in pain, Kaian felt his heartache.
Even after taking the life of someone who was a precious husband, son, or father to a certain family countless times, how could a heart that was as dull as if it were armored in iron tingle like a thorn had been pressed against one woman's expression?
“It looked like you were having a lot of trouble.”
At his words, Claudel seemed to hesitate whether to speak or not.
“The village where I lived as a child caught fire.”
She stuttered.
“Dad held me and ran away from the fire. Hannah too.”
“I see. Did you dream about what happened back then?”
"Mom is... Strangely, I don’t remember my mother’s face.”
Usually, around the age of ten, she will be unable to forget her mother's face.
“Dad was a very cool person. Maybe even more than you.”
"Than me?"
“My dad is tall and handsome too.”
“He's different from the Duke of Vermont.”
Claudel finally laughed a little at what Kaian couldn't help but add.
"That's right. The Duke of Vermont looks nothing like my father.”
It was one of the things that Claudel considered truly fortunate.
“There is nothing similar except for having red hair and golden eyes.”
My father.
Even in the eyes of young me, Evan was a wonderful person who was different from others.
First of all, he was much taller and, like Kaian now, had a muscular body from training every day.
Even for a man, running down a mountain path carrying a ten-year-old girl would not have been as easy as it sounds, but Evan, who ran while holding me and Hannah in his arms, must have been stronger than I remembered.
“Dad was strong enough to split a very thick tree with one swing of an axe. He was weak towards my mom. On me too.”
Evan had an exciting personality, so he often played pranks on me.
He made trivial bets like whether he could play rock-paper-scissors, long jump, or eat a cookie with jam in one bite.
Then, I always won, and Evan was upset that he lost, and with a disappointed look on his face, he would sneak candy out of her pocket.
“Dad has never beaten me. He was always the one to lose to me.”
I took him to Hannah and shared it with her, boasting that he had beaten her dad again.
I felt like I finally figured it out now.
He said he lost on purpose so he could see his little daughter happy.
My father was also very weak to my mother, so when he heard her nag or even slightly pinched him, he would hang his head and pretend to faint or fall down.
Then, my angry mother laughed as if she was shocked, and Evan quietly got up and hugged my mother.
I had a good relationship with my parents.
“Dad loves what is weak, and he loses to what is weaker than him.”
Perhaps the reason my father followed in my mother's footsteps and took his own life was because he felt guilty about not being able to do his part to protect the vulnerable.
If only he had loved my mother, he wouldn't have left the world like that, leaving his daughter behind.
However, while listening to Claudel's words, Kaian fell into other thoughts.
'He loved being weak.'
It seemed like Kaian knew a little bit about that feeling.
In fact, he was a man who gnashed his teeth saying that it would not be a good idea to tear him to death.
He felt a subtle sense of pleasure as he made a place for the unopened grave of the Vermont woman in the castle catacombs.
If Claudel had resisted him vigorously and tried to disgrace Temnes, Kaian would have broken her spirit with his terrible methods.
He changed because she didn't.
She was a sick and weak woman, so she kept getting on his nerves.
However, his relationship with Claudel has not gone that far yet.
'After having one or two children, can that person become that precious?'
That he followed in the footsteps of his dead wife and took his own life.
If he were to choose the most important thing to him right now, it would definitely be the Rowen Estate.
He was a man raised that way.
From the time he was born until the moment he breathed his last, he was prepared to take on the responsibility of protecting and governing the land as the lord of Rowen and the head of Temnes.
So although it was a misfortune that Claudel actually experienced, he had to choose that kind of life so her father's story did not resonate with her.
'Unlike the Duke of Vermont, he was not the heir, so he must have been a soft person.'
Perhaps it was because Claudel had told him that her father seemed to be cooler than him that his doubts continued to bite him.
In the meantime, Claudel, who was bringing up her memories with her father, trailed off.
“I remember my dad like this. My mom...”
I couldn't remember the fire that seemed to burn up the night sky, as if it had burned even the memories in my mind.
It's not that I didn't remember her from the beginning, but after my father's funeral and my insomnia began, even if I tried to think of my mother, it was as if her face had been erased.
“...Is it because of Madame Cronach?”
I must have been surprised to see her during the day, seeing the woman in my dream with her face distorted like candle wax melting and flowing.
But even though she was the woman I had seen in my dream, she did not have the face of Madame Cronach.
'I was the one who was rude, so what if that person gets hurt for no reason?'
It seemed like she would feel sorry for Madame Cronach if Kaian, who made decisions quickly and decisively, cut off his deal with Salon Arvo.
"No. When I had severe insomnia, I sometimes had strange dreams.”
I decided to distract him.
“Thanks to you, I haven’t had any insomnia symptoms for a while. I sleep well every day. Still, I guess I had a nightmare because I was nervous and tired about staying in the royal castle.”
That I sleep well with you.
“The royal power was the problem. I will return to the capital mansion tomorrow.”
“Don’t do that. I slept well last night. I don’t know if this happens every day.”
“You need to take care of yourself. I’m just saying it’s okay to be a Duchess.”
"Really. I was just surprised.”
Kaian snorted as I squeezed his hand.
That also gave him strength.
Anyway, sometimes it's cute because it's trivial, but he's indeed worried when he thinks of it as a health problem.
“I guess I’ll have to cancel the opera tomorrow.”
"Yes?"
“There’s no need to overdo it. Get some rest.”
"No, I do not want."
I looked with a straight face.
“I want to go see it. I don’t know how many times I will live in Rowen for the rest of my life and come to the capital again.”
Meanwhile, Kaian's heart softened because Claud said she would live in Rowen for the rest of her life.
“Instead, if you don’t feel well, you should return to the castle right away.”
“I’ll do as you say.”
Claudel snuggled into her husband's arms as if to show her foolishness.
As Kaian gently stroked her head, she quickly fell asleep again, perhaps because she had just had a hard time getting through the nightmare.
Fortunately, in her second dream, Claudel was in the flower garden at the back of Rowen Castle, which she had long since missed.
***
If I were to choose the best place in the Oberon capital, it would definitely be the place where you can see the castle, which shines brightly even at night.
Madame Cronach stayed on the top floor of the Salon Arno, which was built over four floors.
From the first to the third floors, she occupied spaces decorated for different purposes to accommodate noble guests.
The fourth floor had lavishly decorated rooms, so she sometimes received secret guests who did not want to stay at the hotel.
The rest of the space was hers.
Madame Cronach sipped her drink as she looked out from the terrace at the castle, with its gold-leafed roof shining.
“Are you having a nice dream, Claudel?”
Today she was able to meet the daughter of her dreams for the first time in ten years.
Although she couldn't step forward as a mother.
As she was thinking about the moments when she had suppressed her emotions without showing them, she felt a moment of injustice.
“Duke of Vermont. If only it weren’t for him.”
Her tone of voice showed no respect or admiration for the noble Duke.
The Duke of Vermont's unforgettable words still rang vividly in her ears.
‘Don’t come here again. Claudel. Why are you saying she is your daughter? On the subject of a miserable commoner!'
Support Novellate!
Comments
Post a Comment