SPMB - Side Story Chapter 5
My Body Has Been Possessed By Someone
Of course, it's because of his mood. Kanna is a baby who doesn't even have teeth yet.
'Is it because the injury is severe?
'I don't think I'm crazy.'
He's tired, so tired.
Alessandro sighed and picked up the baby. And he muttered.
"Let's go back."
To Addis.
***
Fighting. Endure.
Fighting. Endure.
It was a series of days like that.
Then, at some point, sleeplessness came. It seemed to be a side effect of the body's time-stopping.
Sleeplessness quickly destroyed his life. His head began to feel heavy, like wet cotton. The passage of time also felt dull.
"Ah, are you okay?"
"..."
When did she get this big?
As soon as Alessandro recovered from his injuries, he returned to the mansion. It was his return after half a year.
And then, the child was speaking.
'When did you start talking?'
The last child he remembered was just babbling something like 'Abu, abbu bu'.
"How old are you?"
"Three, three...."
Has she already turned three? At that moment, he felt very strange.
When he is about to say something...
"You..."
"Kill me. Kill me now."
"Hurry and kill me. If you don't kill me now, you'll regret it later."
When will he get used to this?
Alessandro kept his mouth shut. He was distracted by the constant cursing and talking. Because of this, he began to have difficulty communicating with others.
If he keeps doing this, he'll become mute.
Alessandro eventually turned away without saying anything to the little girl.
My head hurt like it was going to explode. And damn it, this pain was already a daily occurrence.
"Hallucinogens."
“But Alessandro..."
"Yes."
Now he was completely addicted to and dependent on hallucinogenic drugs. He can't help it. This was the only support that made him endure.
"Alex, how was your day?"
Is it because he's addicted to hallucinogenic drugs? Kanna in the fantasy was now able to speak.
"You looked like a dog."
He willingly got addicted to drugs.
"You looked like a dog."
"One of my fingers was cut off. It took a week for it to grow back."
"You're a monster."
Alessandro laughed at Kanna's words.
"It's not for you to say. Because of you, this happened."
"Thank you, Alex. I think I might love you again."
"Don't talk nonsense."
"I'm just telling you what you want to hear. You know, I am an illusion."
"..."
"I am not here at this time."
"I know."
Kanna came over and stood next to him. Alessandro looked up at her and smiled.
"What time are you now?"
He reached out his hand and grabbed Kanna's hair. However, all that is captured is the transparent white warmth.
He stared blankly at her hair. That black hair that he has never touched.
Alessandro suddenly became curious.
Why does he do this?
Is he trying to keep his promise because he can't forget her?
Or, is he trying not to forget her in order to keep his promise?
Now he couldn't tell which came first. But what is clear is that if he doesn't do something like this...
"If you feel like you can't do this anymore, call me anytime."
Alessandro closed his eyes.
'No. No.'
He pushed the desire that had just passed by into the darkness with all my might.
At that time, he made a rant to Seon-hee.
That won't happen.
"Thank you, Alex."
But it's okay to be comforted by false sweetness. It'll be okay.
"Save me, Alex."
Alessandro's eyelashes twitched. A hallucination whispered in his ear.
"See you again."
***
Time passed.
Little by little, everything collapsed and became dull. Little by little, he adapted to his messed up life.
If it was not because of the hallucinations, he wouldn't have been able to endure this much.
He sought out hallucinogenic drugs almost every night. He called Kanna.
"It's all because you like me."
Kanna laughed shamelessly.
"If I hadn't been born the way you like, I wouldn't have been able to survive like I am now."
"Maybe so."
"It's because I'm pretty."
"Yes."
"Honestly, you're a bit picky. I've known you since you were a picky eateг."
"It is."
"It's not fun. Even if I say it's an illusion, aren't we talking too roughly?"
Kanna frowned dissatisfied. Even the wrinkles between the eyebrows were pretty. As the fantasy said, she was his favorite from head to toe.
That fact was sometimes miserable for Alessandro.
"You are such an idiot."
The hallucinations scratched deep inside him.
"Being obsessed with a woman you've been with for just a moment and dedicating your whole life to her is something only idiots do."
"Yes."
Alessandro laughed self-deprecatingly.
"I'm an asshole."
The hallucinations become increasingly blurry. Efficacy is gradually decreasing.
Alessandro closed his eyes, watching the hallucination disappear.
"Alex. Please don't give up on me. Only you can save me."
Finally, the hallucination whispered.
"See you again."
It was sweet.
It was painful.
***
Alessandro summoned Kanna's hallucinations every day.
Sometimes, when he was delirious from exhaustion, he forgot that he was hallucinating. It felt like he was in the same place as her, and she was with him at the same time.
Time passed like that.
"..."
Alessandro turned around.
"Excuse me..."
A girl with messy black hair. She was that child.
"Well, I have a question..."
Alessandro thought, looking down at the stuttering child.
'Were you six this year?'
He thinks that's about it.
At that time, the child lifted her head. Her bangs were swept to the side, revealing her eyes.
The moment he encountered the large black eyes, Alessandro's breathing stopped.
"Well, that's it."
The child's tear spots stood out, especially under the sunlight.
The thing about that woman that he likes so much...
"What kind of person is my mother?"
On that child's face.
Alessandro's eyes turned red. The emotions that slowly developed boiled over. His shame and self-destruction drove him into a field of thorns.
Ah. Damn it.
"Kanna Addis."
Oh God.
Why, why on earth is she punishing him like this?
"Never again, in front of me."
Then it felt like he heard God's answer.
Child, why did you walk into hell on your own feet?
"Don't bring up that woman."
After saying that, he turned around. At the same time, his expression collapsed due to the pain inside him.
The child's face resembled Kanna's.
It's natural. Because they are both the same person.
Why did he realize that obvious fact only now?
'Yes. They are the same person.
He knew it. This was done knowingly. He didn't expect anything in return, so he thought it was okay.
But it wasn't.
It wasn't okay.
The shame he felt a few years ago when he created an unwanted child. A feeling bordering on self-torture distorted him.
Dirty. It's disgusting.
Even a rotten rag will be cleaner than him. It was so disgusting that he wanted to kill himself.
Suddenly, he heard Seon-hee's voice.
"Alessandro, can you really do anything?"
'I can not.'
Alessandro belatedly admitted.
'I can't do it.'
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