TAPGB - Chapter 91
The Abandoned Prince's Ghost Bride
".... No. I'm sorry for getting angry. I'm going to rest, so go now."
I didn't mean to get angry, but I felt sad when I thought he was hiding something from me.
Looking at Lucian's face, I felt like I would get emotional again, so I lay down on my back and wrapped myself in a blanket.
There was still a sense of presence behind me. I closed my eyes tightly and waited for Lucian to leave.
"Ha..."
A sigh was heard from behind.
My heart sank and the tip of my nose felt sore. At that time, I felt depressed for some reason and was about to bury my face in the blanket.
"Leah, look at me."
Lucian put his face in. I, who was at the peak of my emotions, pursed my lips and avoided his gaze.
I felt like something I didn't want would happen, so I tried to prevent it in advance.
Of course, Lucian misunderstood that I was mad at him.
Lucian, who saw me covering my face with a blanket, sat down on the bed.
And he played with the black hair that was peeking out from under the blanket.
"Did I make you sad?"
"..."
"I thought I wouldn't show it as much as possible, but it seems you can't fool your eyes."
What that means is that he was really trying to hide something from me. My hands holding on to the blanket tightened.
"I'm scared of you getting your memories back."
At the words that followed, I opened my tightly closed eyes.
What are you afraid of?
"I knew that life existed 300 years ago, but when you actually remembered the past, it was scary. I'm afraid that if you remember the whole past, you might leave me."
"What are you talking about?"
I stood up. Lucian had a helpless expression on his face that I misunderstood.
Upon closer inspection, I saw that he was depressed. As if he would cry at the slightest provocation.
"Why should I leave you?"
I reached out to Lucian's face, but Lucian turned his head.
"If you remember the past, won't you think of memories with precious people? I'm sure there were people who loved you back then."
"..."
"And most of all, what if you want to go back in time?"
In the end, Lucian's voice trembled. He didn't shed tears, but his eyes were watery.
"It is definitely necessary to remember the past for the future. But, whenever you try to look into the past, I get impatient. I'm afraid that if it continues like this, you will forever go somewhere I can't reach."
Lucian buried his face in his hands.
Only then did I vaguely understand why he was acting strangely and why he was anxious.
'This is my fault.'
Although Lucian did not put in as much effort to regain my past memories as I thought, there was ample room for misunderstanding.
But there is one thing I don't understand.
"Lucian, are you saying that the memories we've made so far are nothing to me?"
Perhaps, as Lucian said, if I regain all my past memories, I will be able to reminisce about the past and miss it.
But for me now, the memories I made with Lucian are more precious.
Because while living as a ghost for 300 years, the most powerful memories were the moments with Lucian.
"Lucian, I was me in the past, and I am me now. Even if I get the past back, there's no way I'll leave you. If I had forgotten you so easily in the first place, I would have spent the five years you were gone comfortably at the mansion without any trouble."
"Have you had a hard time?"
"I just didn't show it because I didn't want to burden you."
When Lucian looked apologetic with shaking eyes, I smiled helplessly and stroked his face.
"I waited for you to come every day."
I watched every day from almost dawn until dark to see if anyone came to the mansion.
"I did not know."
"That's because I didn't tell you."
Lucian felt the anxiety in his heart melt away.
Even though he knew that he shouldn't just be happy that Leah had been waiting so desperately for him for five years, he was so happy that his heart was pounding.
"And above all, I haven't remembered anything about the past yet."
"But you knew who you were."
"Is that what Age told you?"
I explained to Lucian what Age had told me.
".... Carserine?"
"Yes, the red dragon who founded the empire with the first Emperor. It's not a fairy tale, it's a true story. And I am the witch who was with them at that time."
"So, you really don't remember anything?"
"Why would I lie about something like this?"
Lucian was dazed for a moment.
It was definitely something that could have been easily guessed when Leah first revealed that she was a witch, but he overlooked that part because he was just worried that she might leave him.
"That's why I stayed in the archives. If I research the first Emperor, I might find something about myself.
"But you shouldn't overdo it."
"Okay, I won't. Do you feel better now?"
I stuck my head forward and looked at Lucian's face.
His initial drooping mood had disappeared and he had a slightly dazed look.
"To begin with, the only people I care about the most right now are you and Caesar, so I don't know why you feel that way."
"I'm having too many thoughts... It's not a misunderstanding."
Lucian recalled the first time he entered the room where Leah was sealed.
At that time, he clearly saw the rune with the confession written on it, and he knew that the condition for opening the door was for someone to completely love Leah.
If what Age said is true, the person who created everything was probably a dragon called Carcerine. Lucian was ashamed of himself for being jealous and not happy that there was someone who cared for and loved Leah in the past.
Lucian looked at the transparent and clear purple eyes and eventually revealed what happened in the basement.
"I know how much the dragon Carcerine cares about you... I assumed you loved those people a lot too."
Lucian, who was muttering and looking at Leah's eyes, paused.
Leah gave him a pitiful look, asking if he was saying that right now.
"Ha, Lucian. Even if what you say is true, there is no way you will suddenly be pushed aside or my love for you will disappear. Why do you think such foolish thoughts?"
"....That's because I love you."
Leah, who was brushing his hair, stopped. Lucian suddenly had a serious look in his eyes.
"Leah, you know that my heart is no longer just a child, right?"
I, who was trying to change the topic, was speechless and had no choice but to keep my mouth shut.
Why don't you know?
Although I had pretended not to notice and changed the subject, Lucian's affection for me was always sincere.
"In the five years we have been a part, rather than cooling off, my love for you has grown, and now I can't control my feelings just because you are alive before my eyes."
Lucian's hand, gently holding it, was particularly hot today.
I felt his heat transfer to my hand
"Five years ago, you did that. The biggest reason they can't accept me is because I'm a ghost. So what about now?"
"...Do I really look like the child you still cared for?"
I lowered my head and tried to avoid Lucian's gaze, but Lucian grabbed my chin and lifted it up.
The moment my eyes met Lucian's golden eyes, my breath caught in my throat.
The affection that I had tried so hard to ignore hit me like a wave.
'When did Lucian... Become this big?'
Actually, I knew it from the beginning.
From the time I met Lucian for the first time in five years until now, what was in front of me was not the child I had cared for for ten years.
There was only one young man who loved one woman for a long time.
I couldn't give any answer and my eyes only wavered.
It was unfortunate for Lucian, but it wasn't the worst situation.
At the very least, it means that she is shaken to the point where she cannot cut it off at once like before.
For now, he has to be satisfied with this level.
'But, I'm greedy.'
Leah doesn't know how many times he met her in his dreams during the five years they were apart. Did they just meet?
Without hesitation, they even did skinship, something that lovers would do.
But dreams are just illusions. The pleasure of actually touching her with his own hands, feeling her warm body temperature, and seeing her tremble with his own eyes was much greater.
Lucian cupped Leah's cheek with the hand that held her chin. Then he carefully closed his eyes and gently kissed her cheek.
It was courage that came from being prepared to get hit.
But for some reason, Leah didn't do anything to stop him. She just shines the purple eyes se loves beneath the shadow of her eyelashes.
Wanting to have those eyes, Lucian kissed her eyelids again. He could feel her fluttering eyelids feeling the touch of his lips. After receiving silent permission twice, Lucian's inherent desire arose.
"....Can I assume you gave permission?"
He held Leah's cheeks, pressed their foreheads together, and whispered softly. Then Leah's body trembled and light appeared in her eyes.
Leah hastily escaped his hand and lowered her head.
"I don't know. I love you, but that's not rational..."
"Stop."
Lucian interrupted before she could finish speaking. Leah looked up and found Lucian's face with a wry smile on his face.
"Please think a little more than now and then answer."
"Lucian...."
"I am always here. So, I'll wait until Leah feels the same way as me."
With those words, Lucian stroked Leah's cheek once, stood up, and left the room.
Bang!
The door closed and I, left alone in the room, blushed as I recalled what had happened a moment ago. The sound of my heart could be heard in my ears.
"I'm going crazy. Why on earth am I like that?"
Even though I knew that the weight of the playful skinship was different from before, I couldn't shake Lucian off.
If Lucian hadn't woken up in the middle, she would have fallen to him.
If I leave it as is, what will happen next?
My face turned red and then turned into a blush. I threw my blanket over me and kicked in the air.
***
Two days have passed since Lucian made his earnest confession.
Is it because his confession is so strong?
I was so busy thinking about Lucian that I didn't think to look into my past or do any research.
Well, since Lucian told me to take it easy anyway, I have nothing to do other than roll around in my room.
I was sitting on the terrace attached to my room, sunbathing.
While looking blankly at the gorgeous garden, I muttered softly.
"Lucian is fine."
As if I was the only one who felt confused and awkward, Lucian showed no different behavior than usual after confessing.
"Maybe it's because I'm used to hiding my feelings."
There is no way to escape my mind now. I received such a heartfelt confession in the first place, so it makes no sense to ignore it.
"But, I don't know."
What exactly is on my mind?
As he said yesterday, I am now a living person and not a ghost, so all my worries and concerns have disappeared.
Because we can share our body heat, we can envision each other's future together, and we can build a normal family like everyone else. Above all, wouldn't we be able to grow old together now?
The biggest reason to be reluctant has disappeared...
Nevertheless, my head did not turn in a positive direction.
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