IDMH - Chapter 38
I Decided My Husband
The train journey to the Duchy of Leopold went smoothly.
The sky was bright blue without a single cloud, and the sun was shining so brightly that it was warm.
Perdes was so busy walking around and watching the train that it was hard to see his face except when he was eating or sleeping. It was so bad that Jack tried to dissuade him from wandering around.
"Is there that much to see?"
When I asked curiously, Perdes became even more curious and asked me.
"Of course. Didn't you wander around and look around when you first got on the train?"
"Well, I don't know."
I remembered for a moment and then answered.
"It's been so long I don't remember."
"It's been a while? How old were you when you first took the train?"
When was that again? Fortunately, this time it came to mind right away.
"I think I rode it for the first time when I was 13."
"Because the Young Lady turns 18 this year... What. It's only been five years."
That's true if you only count this life. It was a long time ago, more than 15 years if you add up all of my past lives.
It was natural that I couldn't remember.
"No one recognizes you on the train, so you can just wander around, but you can't do that when you arrive at Martina's estate."
Since I couldn't tell him that fact, I flexibly changed the topic of conversation. Perdes flinched and asked me if I had intended to do that.
"Can't I just take a look?"
"It's not possible. You probably won't have time to look around anyway. As soon as I land at Martina Estate, I will immediately take a carriage and go to the Duchy of Leopold."
I thought about staying at Martina's estate for a day, but I think that would be too much of an inconvenience to Count Martina.
From Chernosor to Perdes.
Because serving a Prince was never easy.
So, even though I was a little tired, I decided to leave right away.
"Then there's nothing we can do."
Seeing him droop his shoulders and look visibly disappointed, I strangely felt a prick in my heart. It's like having a lollipop stolen from a child.
"Instead, you can visit the Duchy of Leopold as much as you want."
"... Really?"
"Yes,"
Instead, when I gave him a new candy, Perdes' eyes sparkled brightly, as if he had never been so sullen. It looked like a puppy enjoying a delicious snack.
Perdes seemed to have cute ears on top of his head and a big, fluffy tail behind his back.
That's how cute Perdes was. Since he ate well these days, he gained plump weight and his cuteness stood out even more.
Lady?"
“Ah.”
I was so captivated by his cuteness that I unconsciously stroked his head. And that too randomly, like petting a dog.
How absurd it must have been from his perspective.
"..."
The absurd thing was that it was the same for me. I smiled awkwardly and withdrew my hand.
Then I wrapped my hand around it, looked at the floor, and thought about what I should say. I don't think I'm just apologizing haphazardly.
Should I honestly say that it was a mistake, that it was so cute that I gave up without realizing it?
"It was a mistake."
I felt like that was right, so I told my feelings honestly.
"Your Majesty's behavior just now was as cute as a younger sibling's."
I thought it would be better to say that he was more like a younger brother than a puppy, so I mellowed out.
"So, without even realizing it, my hand went out. Sorry."
"..."
Finally, a polite apology. I thought it was perfect in its own way, but Perdes' expression wasn't very good.
"Are you feeling very bad?"
When I asked carefully, Perdes held out his hand.
"Huh? No, it's not that I felt bad, I was just a little surprised."
Perdes played with his disheveled hair from my stroking.
"No one has ever patted my head."
Even though he was half-hearted and an idiot, the Prince was still a Prince. There was no way the courtiers would dare pat his head. The same was true for Jack, whom he considered family.
It was possible for the parents, but for the Emperor to give such a kind hand was so unlikely that it was better to hope that the sun would rise in the west.
His biological mother could not hope for Perdes as she passed away not long after he was born. And after that, he had to pretend to be an idiot to survive.
"..."
Thinking about his unfortunate birth and upbringing, I felt sorry for him. Since I too had suffered greatly because of the Emperor, I felt a strong sense of kinship.
I stood up, suppressing the desire to pat his head in a different way than before.
"I have some urgent business in mind, so I'll leave for a while and then come back."
There really wasn't anything to do.
I felt like I would make another mistake if I stayed here any longer, so I just said what I had to say and quickly left the room.
***
After Adele left, Perdes, who was left alone, looked at where she was sitting and muttered.
"There's no way there's anything urgent to do on the train."
If you needed to go to the bathroom, you could just use the bathroom attached to your room. There was no reason to go out.
So, did you hurriedly leave the place because it was uncomfortable to be here?
'What made you feel uncomfortable?'
She said she didn't mind stroking his head, so I don't think that was the reason.
"She really is a woman whose true feelings are unknown."
Perdes, who was shaking his head, suddenly looked at his reflection in the window. His hair was still a mess. Perdes was combing his messy hair with his hands and stopped at the area she was stroking.
He told Adele that she was the first person to pat his head, but that wasn't the case. Chernosor and Charles also stroked his head.
"This is like a dog. If I throw a branch at you, will it come back?"
"..."
Of course, I didn't mean it in a good way.
It was a very unpleasant and irritating touch. Perses had to endure several times what he wanted to bare like a real dog.
Having been humiliated many times by his half-brothers, Perdes hated it when anyone touched his head. Jack was no exception.
So when Jack's hair grew shaggy, he hated it and refused even if they offered to cut it.
When I had no choice but to cut my hair for the engagement ceremony, I gritted my teeth and endured it.
But why didn't he like being petted by her? Is it because there is no malice in her touch?
If that's the case, it would be the same for Jack, so why was Jack's touch unpleasant?
"... I don't know."
He thought about it carefully, but couldn't come up with an answer. On the contrary, the doubts only deepened, so Perdes scratched his neatly organized hair again and ruffled it.
***
I didn't have a destination in mind and just wandered around aimlessly to sort out my strange feelings.
Sir Aldor silently followed behind me, out making a single sound, and as I thought about various things, I forgot that he was following me.
"...!"
Then I looked back without thinking and was surprised to see that Sir Aldor was there. About three times, Sir Aldor asked me back as if it were absurd.
"Why are you so surprised to see me?"
"It's because Sir Aldor follows me so quietly that I forget that you're following me at every moment."
"Then shall we make footsteps from now on?"
"There's no need to do that."
Because it was a knight's virtue to remain quiet, as if it were not there. However, Sir Aldor seemed to be paying attention to what I said, and followed me, making a little more noise than before.
I felt better, but it felt a little awkward to go back to the room. To be exact, I was still embarrassed to see Perdes' face. So I went up to the lounge bar on the second floor.
Only first-class customers can use this area, but since all of the first-class seats are now occupied by my group, I was able to use the lounge bar exclusively.
I sat down at a seat with a good view of the outside scenery and asked the bartender for a cocktail.
"Sir Aldor, would you like a drink too?"
"No."
"If you're doing it because of my escort, it's okay."
"I'm fine too."
"We also have non-alcoholic cock tails."
"It's okay."
Anyway, I'm just being honest. I looked out the window as I sipped on the cocktail the bartender brought. The scenery of the flowery fields and the towering mountains behind them was beautiful, but it didn't really impress me.
This was because my mind was so crowded with other thoughts that I couldn't capture the scenery properly.
Everything had been going well so far, including getting Perdes, but I was anxious. Like the night before a storm, an ominous feeling that something big was going to happen next crept up my spine.
The more anxious I was, the more I wanted to drink. I was about to drink another cocktail, but Sir Aldor stopped me.
"Why don't you stop drinking, Lady?"
"I only had one drink?"
"I understand that the cocktail you just had was high in alcohol."
That's right.
"And your face is a little red too."
At those words, I put my hand to my cheek. My cheeks were slightly hot from the alcohol.
"My mind is fine."
"All drunk people say that."
"Does that mean I look drunk?"
Sir Aldor responded with silence. I looked at him with disapproving eyes and then stood up. Since I can't drink anymore, I was thinking of heading back.
“Ah.”
In an instant, my ankle broke and my body stumbled. Thanks to Sir Aldor's help from behind, I was able to avoid an ugly fall.
"Thank you."
I stood upright, thanking Sir Aldor.
Then I looked at his face, and Sir Aldor's expression was a little strange. He was looking down at his hand, which had been holding my arm just a moment ago, with a thoughtful face.
What's on your hands?
That's not true.
"What's wrong, Sir Aldor?"
When I asked curiously, Sir Aldor clenched his fists and shook his head.
"it's nothing. Let's go back to your room now, Lady."
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