ICTV - Chapter 36
I Changed The Villain
“He...”
Damian's face turned brightly as he turned his head.
“Ah, that’s good. Now that this has happened, I will formally introduce him to you.”
"..."
"Lord Cedrian!”
Damian waved his hand loudly. It's not surprising anymore. Should I at least do a ritual?
Edgar's eyes, who were adjusting Iris's clothes in front of the pillar, also widened in astonishment.
***
“Hmm... Hello, Lady Pale.”
"Hello."
The two were guided to the Garden of Blessing located in the middle of the Harmonia Temple. As if offering up his seat wasn't enough, Damian also offered astringent tea and cookies topped with dried fruits.
Damian looked like he wanted to ask what the relationship was between the two, but when Iris said that she suddenly had something to say to the high priest, he hurriedly took the girl away.
“We run into each other quite often.”
"I know, right."
The atmosphere might have been less cold if Iris or Mouchet had been in the middle.
I do not know. But Iris had gone, and Mouchet, who had been running excitedly when he heard that I had arrived, stepped back and disappeared as soon as he saw Edgar, saying he didn't want to disturb the couple's time together.
You guys are still teenagers. You don't have to be so quick-witted.
I lamented inwardly.
“Hey, Young Lady.”
Edgar was embarrassed to see me just looking down at the table where the refreshments were set, but not even sitting on the chair. So, he just scratched his hair and spoke carefully.
“I don’t think it’s unreasonable for the Young Lady to misunderstand me.”
“What are you doing wrong?”
“There is a misunderstanding that I am chasing the Young Lady or something like that.”
I said, still standing.
“Don’t worry, I don’t have that misunderstanding. What are you doing chasing someone like me?”
"Hmm?"
Edgar's eyes widened momentarily. He thought he just heard wrong. But that didn’t seem to be the case. Edgar became even more cautious.
“I’m glad you didn’t misunderstand… Lady, why did you just say?"
I took three steps back before Edgar finished speaking.
“But other people have all sorts of delusions when a man and a woman are alone together, so I keep being careful.”
"Is it so. Because such rumors are fatal in social circles. Make sure to keep a certain distance when talking. I don’t want any bad rumors to spread about you because of me.”
“If you’re worried about me, isn’t it best to not talk at all?”
Ugh. Edgar flinched because it wasn't a mistake.
“Why do you want to talk to me so much?”
“Well, I am impressed by the Lady’s sweet appearance."
“Is that all?”
"..."
There was an unknown silence. Edgar looked at me in silence.
The moment his silver eyes caught my profile, I turned my head. Edgar, who made eye contact with me, quickly nodded.
"Yes. It's a shame, but that's it. Actually, I’m a bit embarrassed too. It's the first time I've ever wanted to talk to someone this much. I guess what the Young Lady said at that time was that impressive.”
“I said something great.”
"You've already said it several times, but it's true. That child will cherish those words in her heart for the rest of her life. The person who said those words is Young Lady."
"..."
Edgar pulled out a chair and offered me a seat.
“It’s okay because I got used to it.”
“Even if you get used to it, what hurts still hurts."
In addition to the surprising strength, the will to refute also disappeared. I think we'll keep bumping into each other anyway, so let's just sit down. Just like Edgar said, my feet hurt too.
I flopped down in her chair.
Edgar smiled as if he had done well and then took three steps back like I had done earlier.
“I want to talk to you about something. Well, I’m looking for someone to work with me. As many people as possible... .”
The world is still warm. I responded somewhat nervously even before Edgar finished speaking.
“I don’t like it. Is it over now?”
"Ah."
Normally, I would say, ‘Yep.' I will listen with the mindset of ‘Let’s hear it.’ But right now, I don't feel good enough to accommodate someone who is trying to force a conversation.
I'm so confused I'm faking it. It's almost nauseating.
Why did I say I didn't want to kiss then?
I couldn't do it.
My face fell down on the table. Edgar almost instinctively approached me, but managed to stay still. Edgar could say nothing. Because it was true that he had been rude to me.
“... Young Lady, I'm sorry."
"What?"
“From the time we first met until now, Spinning and clinging is not a good thing to do, I know.”
It is natural that this situation itself is not pleasing to me. Edgar bowed his head.
“I’m sorry for continuing to talk about myself without even asking the Lady’s condition. As I said before, this is the first time I’ve wanted to talk to someone this much.”
"..."
“In my heart, I was happy to keep running into Young Lady. I'm really sorry. I'll be careful so this doesn't happen again..."
I made no reply. As expected, it was the moment when Edgar was about to leave with his shoulders slumped.
“...What is love?”
Edgar's steps stopped at the sudden words. Rli recalled every word Belial had said, every action, and every expression on his face.
“What on earth is love that changes people like that?”
I am not in my right mind.
It was a question that could be asked out loud. Even if Damian, Mouchet, or even Beryl had been in front of me instead of Edgar, I would have asked that question out loud. That's how crazy I was.
Edgar stared intently at me.
“If it weren’t for love… If it weren’t for love…”
I would have achieved the death I wanted, and Belial would have been able to love a heroine several times more perfectly than me.
I clenched my fists so tightly that the blood couldn't flow.
“Hey, Young Lady.”
Edgar, who was lost in thought, opened his mouth.
“That’s a very profound question, My Lady. I don’t know what kind of answer you want to hear, but…”
Edgar was a person who did not listen to even the most outrageous words. That's why he answered Rose's strange question without any context sincerely.
“I think it’s absolutely necessary in life.”
It was a common answer, but Edgar said that the feeling was a little different. Edgar seemed to really think that way.
“...Why do you think that?”
“Honestly, I’ve never been in love, so I don’t know…”
Edgar, who was trailing off his words, smiled faintly.
“I’ve heard so many stories about love. It's definitely different from trying it yourself, but I'm confident that I know a little bit about it, My Lady. I said it earlier. Are you interested in helping me with my work?"
Rose nodded.
“My job is to help and listen to people in trouble. Most of their problems were caused by love.”
There were people who were so blinded by love that they lost all their money and couldn't come to their senses, and there were also people who were lonely because they had no one to love. However, there was someone else who felt that Edgar was the most serious.
“Do you know who that person is? He was a person who did not know how to love himself. There is no use saying anything.”
I volunteered without realizing it.
“Rather than not knowing how to love, isn’t it because there is no reason to love?”
“Young Lady. There is no such person in this world...”
Edgar instinctively tried to refute, and quickly corrected his words.
“Maybe there is. It's definitely not wrong. Sometimes I wonder if I really have to live like this.”
Only then did I look satisfied. Yes, there is no need to love if there is no reason.
“But I… I hope you love yourself at least a little bit. Of course, loving others in moderation is just as important.”
Edgar's face as he said that was extremely serious, but on the other hand, he was earnest.
Why are you making that face in front of me? I had no choice but to ask.
"Why?"
“That’s right, it’s a problem even if you can love, and it’s a problem even if you can’t.”
“I don’t know what that means.”
"No. If you just listen to a little explanation, you will understand quickly.”
Edgar gently held the title with both hands.
“Love that is too much or too little causes people to reject unreasonable things and become silent, unable to express their opinions clearly.”
Edgar's hands were on his neck and he pretended to block his ears.
“Covering my ears so I can’t hear the sincere advice and comfort of people around me.”
Edgar pressed his fingers to the side of his head.
“Finally, we will get rid of guns so that no one can make rational decisions.”
It was as if his brain had been cut out with a knife. It was a somewhat eerie whisper. Edgar released his fingers from pressing the side of his head.
“Isn’t it funny in a way? There is no emotion as instinctive as love. If there are too many or too few instinctive emotions, it becomes impossible to make rational judgments."
I, who had been silently watching Edgar, shook my head.
“...I still don't understand."
“Oh, then let me explain it more easily.”
Thinking with my fingers wrapped around my chin, Edgar clapped his hands.
“Young lady. What do you think is the problem with the Young Lady?”
There are a lot of problems. I answered without hesitation.
“Lazy. Lethargic. Bored. Unmotivated. Not fun.”
“Until there.”
There's still a lot left to say. Despite his silent protests, Edgar was adamant.
“That’s enough. Now, shall we tell you the pros?”
"..."
Unlike before, when I answered without hesitation, nothing came out. Edgar urged me to speak quickly, but I shook my head.
“I can’t think of anything in particular.”
Edgar nodded as if to look at it.
“Look, okay?”
"What?"
“That’s what happens when you don’t love yourself.”
My eyes widened.
“I’ll say it again, it’s a problem even if you can love, and it’s a problem even if you can’t.”
"..."
“I can no longer make rational judgments. A typical symptom is being overly harsh with oneself. Young Lady is the only one who doesn’t know that she is a very good person.”
I couldn't say anything.
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