DYBAR - Chapter 3

DYBAR - Chapter 3

Do Your Best And Regret

Everything has changed. The nanny never returned, and I always ate bread, meat, fresh vegetables, and fruit. My closet was full of gorgeous dresses. What has changed most of all?

"sister?"

The sweetest, young Ethella was by my side. I have never seen such a lovely being in the world. She was a pretty silver-haired girl with her hair neatly combed. The Duchess said affectionately, patting her apple-red cheek

"Huh. This is Olivia's sister. This is Ethella."

Three-year-old Ethella was so pretty that she looked like an angel who would disappear if touched.

"She's like an angel "

"Ethella, Olivia sees you as an angel."

Ethella smiled brightly. I, who was looking at the figure in wonder, muttered blankly.

"Young Lady Ethella"

"Huh?"

The Duchess frowned slightly.

"Call her Ethella. After all, you and her are sisters."

 "By the way, the nanny told me to call her Lady."

"The nanny misinformed you." 

Do I dare to call such a pretty child by her name? But the Duchess was sincerely nodding her head. I called her name very softly. 

"Eh, Ethella."

Ethella smiled brightly as if she understood the name. My mood got weird. I thought only a few days ago that I shouldn't have been here, but now I am so happy. The Duchess also showed the portrait. It was a portrait of two angelic boys standing. 

"The eldest is 11-year-old, Conrad. The second is Jade, who is 8 years old. Just like Ethella, you can call them older brothers. Conrad is at the academy and Jade will be back soon."

As soon as the Duchess finished speaking, a boy's voice came from the mansion.

"Mom!"

"Jade?"

The Duchess jumped up and left the room with Ethella in her arms. I pondered for a moment, and then I followed. A boy ran up the stairs and was snuggled into the hem of the Duchess's dress.

"Jade, Our baby! Did you have a good time?"

 "Of course. Why suddenly send me to grandmother's house? I hate you, Mom."

 "Sorry, baby. Did you still want to see your mother?"

"......Huh."

The silver-haired boy smiled brightly. I felt my heart pounding. The appearance of the Duchess and the boy was exactly the same as my mother a few months ago.

"But who is she?"

The boy looked at me. The Duchess hesitated for a moment, then she smiled broadly.

"Jade. It's Olivia... It's your sister"

"Sister? Not Ethella? But is she taller than Ethella?" 

"Huh? I am 6 years old."

Jade smiled broadly at me without any doubt. He only knew that I was what I was supposed to be. 

But not Conrad. 

***

"He is not my sister."

The 11-year-old boy, taller than his peers and with cool eyes, said as if screeching. A cold word pushed me out of line again.

"Conrad."

"He's not my sister. She's dirty!"

"Conrad!"

I flinched at the strong voice. Conrad, however, glared at me with his unchildlike eyes.

"...Olivia. Would you like to go out for a while?"

"Yes."

When I closed the door and came out, Jade asked curiously.

"What did you bury?"

"No?"

"But why does your brother say you are dirty?"

I couldn't answer.

 ***

It was one day. The Duchess said she was going out for the first time in a while. The wife, who kissed the cheeks of the children lined up from Conrad to Ethella, looked at me and hesitated for a moment. I had sparkling expectations. perhaps. But the wife stroked my hair. Jade, who was watching me, innocently asked.

"Why doesn't Olivia get kissed?"

"That's right."

Ethella chimed in. Jade tilted his head.

"Olivia also calls mother Madame. You said she was my sister?" 

The Duchess, who smiled faintly, stroked my head once more. 

"....Because you I not the mother of this child."

"Huh?"

"No. Her mother is coming."

"Huh! Have a good trip!"

Conrad glared at me, but I was still nice.....

"I wrote a fairy tale for you It took a week or so."

It was the first day that the Duchess was away from the mansion. Jade shrugged as he lifted up his sketchbook. I wanted to be drawn.

"This is Ethella. It's Princess Amethyst. And see, this is Olivia."

Jade smiled brightly and pointed to my eyes.

"Olivia is the Emerald Princess."

 At those words, I wept heartily. Jade panicked, but she couldn't stop crying. Ethella cried without knowing why.

"Sister, don't cry. Huh."

"Hey don't cry!."

When Jade cried and hugged me and Esela, the warmth made me realize that I was not alone. I was the prettiest woman in the world, and as long as I had Ethella, Jade, and the Duchess, everything would be fine, I thought. But my happiness was short-lived.

"It's all because of you!"

It was when I was playing painting with Ethella. Conrad suddenly ran up and pushed me hard. I was frozen and fell.

Ethella burst into her weeping, but Conrad did not soothe her. I could not be appeased, because Conrad was crying too.

Conrad, who looked like a boy, cried and shouted.

"If only you hadn't come! Even without you! My mother!"

Lightning struck. It was a rainy day. It was said that the Duchess's carriage on the way back from her home, the Marquis of Haelquin, had overturned. The reason she went to her parent's house was because of her divorce from the Duke. 

***

It wasn't long after the Duchess's funeral, that Ethella, who had been smiling brightly throughout the rainy funeral, visited her mother as if she noticed the strangeness. No matter how much her nurse and maids tried to placate Ethella, it was of no avail.

"Where is Mom?"

Ethella, who blinked her eyes wide as if anxious, began to cry. I, who had been watching through the crack in my open door, slipped in her.

"Sister!"

Tears welled up in Ethella's big eyes when she found me.

"Mom isn't coming. I want to see her!"

Seeing Ethella crying uncontrollably, I suddenly remembered herself from a few weeks ago. Even if I look for my mother, mother doesn't come. I knew that, but missed my mother every night. I held Ethella's hand tightly without saying anything. Only then did she curtail her search for her mother. Her nanny and her maids, who were quick to get me out, said nothing. After that, Ethella fell ill often. 

"Mom... Mom..."

The pretty face like an angel went to find her mother, excited with fever. But no matter how she called her, the Duchess wouldn't say, "Esela, my sweetheart." She never showed up. Ethella continued to search for her mother until she closed her mouth and wept silently. She was so pathetic that even six-year-old me could understand what it meant to lose her mother. But I couldn't even ask anyone for help. Jade said he went to the Duchess's parents' house, and Conrad closed his door and he didn't talk to anyone. And the Duke was nowhere to be seen. 

On the large bed, Ethella was breathing hotly. It smelled of her sweet milky, salty tears.

Feeling my gaze, Ethella slowly met my eyes. She was purple, and her pretty eyes were full of tears.

"Sister, mother is not coming."

The youthful voice died down. I end up biting my lip. What should I say to make this kid laugh? Looking at her weeping face, the words I heard the most were those of my nanny.

"Your very existence is bothering the Madeleine family."

"I am Sorry."

"Huh?"

Ethella asked back as if she hadn't heard the small voice. Seeing her helplessly twinkling eyes, I kept crying.

"Sister..."

It was then. There was the sound of the door bursting open. When I, startled, looked at the door, the Duke was striding forward with great momentum. I had never seen such a scary face. Frightened by him, I inadvertently grabbed Ethella's hand tightly. The Duke, who was looking at me with his fearful eyes as if he were going to eat me, roughly grabbed and dragged me. 

"Ah!"

Ethella, who was pulled together for an instant, let out a painful sound. I quickly let go of my hand holding Ethella and looked behind again. Surprised, Ethella began to cry loudly. My wrists hurt as if they would fall off. I looked at the maids and butler as if calling for their help, but no one stopped the Duke.

"Miss, Do not cry."

"Dad, sister! sister!" 

Embarrassed, the nanny comforted Ethella, but Ethella did not stop crying. I stretched out my hand toward Ethella, who looked at me and cried sadly. I have to go to Ethella quickly. But I was dragged out of her room and struggled against the Duke.

"Let go! I want to see Ethella!" 

Bang!

The big door closed. Ethella, who had been crying as she reached out to me, was covered by the door. I have to go. It was when I tried to look up at the Duke with my young eyes full of resentment.

"You Dare."

The voice of the Duke coming out of his teeth was frightening. In an instant, I hardened like ice.

"How dare you call my daughter by her first name?"

Sparks flew from the Duke's eyes. It felt like standing in front of a terrifying mountain beast. I shuddered, forgetting even the pain in my gripped arm. It felt like my legs would break at any second. It was the first time I had ever experienced it. Weird. This is my father. Why does he see me as the most hated person in the world?

"Oh, Dad..."

"Who? Who is your father?"

It was a cold voice that seemed to freeze everything. The Duke's words were as sharp as his voice. I blinked at the line drawn in an instant and bowed my head. The Duke spoke softly as if suppressing his emotions.

"Listen."

"..."

"Until I allow it, never again."

"..."

"Don't talk to Essela."

"Ha, but..."

The Duchess called me her sister. I am Ethella's older sister. I she thought of the word 'sister', my fear of the Duke subsided. I raised my head and looked at the Duke. I didn't do anything. It was time to say the words that filled my mouth.

"...If it wasn't for you..."

The Duke said in a distressed voice. For a moment, my breath caught in my throat. The expression on the Duke's face, which had been grabbing my arm a moment before, collapsed. His purple eyes trembled as if he was sincerely sad.

"Hazel would have been alive."

An assumption that could never come true. My heart hurt. The words that had filled my mouth disappeared in an instant.

"Your misfortune has made me and my house this way."

"..."

"Don't carry that misfortune to Ethella."

The Duke, who had grabbed my arm, slowly let go of his hand. Then he took a careless look and entered the room. When the door opened, Ethella's cries were heard.

"Dad, sister, why did you kick her out?"

"Ethella. Don't cry."

Before the door closed, the voice of the Duke soothing Ethella was heard. That voice was completely different from when he was talking to me. With the sound of the door closing, I collapsed into my seat. It was also because I was relaxed and my arm hurt. Only then did the cool air from the hallway touch my cheek. It's a completely different feeling from inside that warm room. Maids and servants passing by glanced at me. But no one comforted me or lifted me up. 

I looked down at my arm with my head down. The sleeves of the dress the Duchess had bought for me were terribly wrinkled. When I received this dress, it was very nice. When I asked if I could accept something so precious, the Duchess even smiled a little.

"... Ugh..."

A sad cry broke out. My arm ached, Ethella's cries hurt me, and the Duke's words hurt me too.

"... I didn't do anything, but..."

The words that disappeared only belatedly came out in tears. I didn't do anything. The Duchess said I didn't do anything wrong.

"If it weren't for you."

The Duke's distorted face was vivid. The Duke is a misunderstanding. I didn't do anything, I just came to this mansion. But the Duke's words continued to haunt me. If it's true, what should I do? A little bit of fear came over me. I wept bitterly because I missed my mother, and I missed the Duchess. 

Until my eyes are puffy and my throat is dry. Even then, I had really no one to comfort me. 

***

"... Princess."

I blinked slowly at the voice calling me. The imperial palace was visible beyond the carriage. Sally let out a small laugh.

"We arrived. What do you think?"

"I know."

I muttered. I seemed to be dreaming. The memories of when the Duchess was in the mansion, the thoughts of what it must have been like when everyone was harmonious and peaceful. If only it wasn't for you...... Until the end, the Duke assumes that. If I hadn't entered Madeleine, would the Duchess really have been alive? 

That impossible. My family must have left a scar on my heart. But no matter what anyone says now, I was Madeleine's eldest daughter. I was also the fiancée of the Crown Prince, Leopold Franz. Even though neither my family nor Leopold ever really treated me wholeheartedly, I loved them the best I could. 

It couldn't be wrong when my mother said that if I did my best, it would come true.

 Novellatte's Note:

My heart hurt when I translated this chapter :(

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