DYBAR - Chapter 2

DYBAR - Chapter 2

Do Your Best And Regret

The carriage arrived at a beautiful and magnificent mansion. I looked up at the mansion. I was about to feel intimidated by the colorful exterior without even realizing it.

 A large carriage pulled up in front of the porch. The carriage door opened and a man got out. He was a handsome enough man to catch the eye at once, but what caught my attention was definitely the moonlight-like silver hair. It was the first time I had ever seen hair the same color as mine. So I blurted out. 

"Are you my father?"

Even without hearing the answer, intuition took the lead. That man is my father that my mother said. The man's eyes slowly turned to me. The moment our eyes met, I felt something inside my body thump down. 

That man, that is, my father. But he didn't greet me.

... I should start with etiquette teachers. 

A cold voice reached my ears. The brown-haired man quickly glanced at the people next to the gate. Soon the door opened without a sound. From the lanterns on the ceiling shining like jewels to the carpet on the floor. The mansion smelled warm and good. Father strode into the house. I was at a loss and followed my father's footsteps.

"Geo, you are here."

It was then. A friendly voice cut off. A beautiful woman coming down her steps looked at me with her eyes wide open.

Except for my mother, I had never seen such a beautiful woman.

"Geo, What about the kid?"

"Hazel. You said you would never send our Ethella to the imperial palace. I needed a child to send in place of Ethella."

An unknown story came and went. Shocked, the woman ran up the stairs.

"Hazel!"

Father followed her. Alone in an instant, I clenched my fists. People who appeared out of nowhere chatted.

"Madeleine's bloodline seems to match. That coveted silver hair."

"What is this? I didn't know the Duke would do that."

"Green eyes. I never thought that noble Madeleine would mix with such lowly blood."

Even if I didn't understand it well, I knew it meant something bad. It was then. 

Clap clap - someone appeared with applause.

"Let's all go back to our places and get to work."

 When the old gentleman appeared, people quickly disappeared. The old gentleman met my eyes.

"Nice to see you, Miss. This is Madeleine's butler, Albert Langchaisen."

It was a friendly voice, but the butler's eyes did not smile.

"My name is Olivia."

"You must be tired, but let me guide you to your room first. Anna,"

 At the butler's words, an older woman walked by.

"Wash the Lady and lead her to her room."

The conversation was all about it. I had no lunch or dinner, but no one asked me that.

I missed my mother. 

***

"Her eyes are magical, and her mother must have been a street dancer. She is on a different level from Lady Ethella."

Anna sighed and spoke to the servants surrounding me. One of them found my thread anklet next to Anna.

"But what is it? Is she pretty?"

"What? Is it from Turning Bell?"

"Is that the girl? No way, nastily."

One of the laughing people threw the thread anklet into the trash can. And fleshed out Anna's story. Somehow, it was bad nature for me to scream and cry yesterday. The low blood is there.

 In no time, word spread about the new Lady and her mother in the Duke's mansion. After hearing the butler's report, the Duke gave an order as if sorting things out. 

"Attach a tight-lipped nanny to prevent unnecessary talk."

"Yes."

The butler bowed his head. Tight-lipped and cheapest nanny. The story that the nanny had been kicked out after harassing the Young Lady she served in the previous house was irrelevant to the butler.

***

The brushing of my hair was gentle. I blinked my anxious eyes. My room, decorated in pink and light blue, was pretty. I didn't even have a rat coming up on my bed. But I wasn't happy about myself. I had nothing of my own in this place where even my anklets were taken.

I couldn't even leave the room. The only person I could see was my new nanny a few days ago.

"Nanny. I want to go out today."

I said to the nanny kindly. 

"No, Miss. You know why."

"Why?"

"The Duke is heartbroken when he sees the Young Lady."

I shrugged my skinny shoulders and said the nanny more affectionately.

"You know that the Duchess is bedridden too, right?"

I opened my eyes wide and looked at the nanny. If she was the Duchess, would she be the beautiful one who then ran to the second floor?

"I did not know."

"I bet you didn't know. No, you should say you didn't know. Because of you, this high-ranking Duke of Madeleine became a laughing stock"

"Well, what do you mean?"

"You didn't know this either?" 

Nanny covered her mouth and looked at me in pity. Her hands combing my hair became rougher. I moaned softly, but the nanny only muttered that I was a poor girl. 

"Oops. No one seems to be telling My Lady the truth. Even this nanny has to tell you."

The nanny chuckled.

"It's because the Lady came into this house."

"..."

"The fact that the ducal couple, who never quarreled before, fought."

"..."

"The first son noticed, and the second son started crying every night."

"..."

"And the change of poor Ethella from a precious only daughter to a second daughter."

My heart pounded. No. My feeble denial escaped my lips, but the nanny hammered her nails into my hair.

"It's all because of the Lady."

"No."

"Miss, I told you on the first day. This nanny never lies."

Cunning words like snakes kept knocking on my heart. On the first day, my nanny did say that. With that warm face, she'll never lie to me. 

That day, the nanny washed me with warm water. She served white bread, soup, and even fruit I hadn't seen before. Even when I was sleeping, she even read children's books. Is it really me that kept getting smaller. Is it all because of me?

Confusion filled my young face. Seeing my face, the nanny spoke sweetly and enticingly.

"This silver hair doesn't suit you at all." 

"My hair?"

"Silver hair is the mark of the Duke of Madeleine. It's just not the head to go to a Lady. It's because of this silver hair that the Young Lady entered this house, right?"

I couldn't understand what the nanny was saying

"I am...... I'm here because I'm father's daughter." 

"No. It's all thanks to this silver hair. Do you think the Young Lady would have dared to come here without this silver hair?"

The nanny's eyes flashed. Then she painfully grabbed my arm. Oh, I let out moans, but the nanny didn't let me down.

"Should I cut this hair today?"

"Nanny, I don't like it."

I tried to shake off the nanny's arm. It was hair that my mother always combed pretty. I didn't even have my anklets, and I didn't want to lose any more traces of my mother. The nanny sighed softly.

"The Lady is really selfish. Do you want the Duke and Duchess to be in pain while looking at this silver hair?"

I, who had been swallowing my sobs, eventually burst into tears.

There was no one to comfort me and the nanny continued to seduce me. Finally, I cut my hair. I let myself cry out once again, but the nanny said it was the best fit, and she laughed. After that, the nanny didn't bring me food properly, just once a day.

Rough barley bread and a glass of water were all. Those days continued. Dust flew into the room that had not been cleaned. No one cared about me. They kept me hungry and thirsty. 

One night, the nanny didn't come back. I quietly left my room. I was hungry. If I could find the kitchen, I would have something to eat. I had no idea where the kitchen was in this house, but it was better than being in my room. But I, who came out into the hallway, immediately regretted it. The wide, quiet hallway was dark and frightening.

I, who was walking as ran toward the wall, fell. Normally, I would just pat my knees and get up, but not now. Lying on this soft satin carpet, it looked like my mother would come. It was the time when I wanted to see my mother and burst into wow-cry.

"Hey, who is it?"

I gently raised my head at the beautiful voice. My sight flickered, and then someone came to my side. I was dazzled by the bright lights and was startled to see my opponent's face.

"You..."

It was the Duchess. Her coveted brown hair and brown eyes, the Duchess, even to me, made my dry cheeks look sore.

Nanny's words came to mind.

"You know that the Duchess is bedridden too, right?"

"You fell."

"I am sorry."

The words came out almost simultaneously. Unlike me, the Duchess tilted her head for a moment.

"What?"

 "I am sorry." 

I apologized in a small voice that seemed to be creeping in.

"What are you sorry about?"

"You are sick. It's because of me. I am sorry." 

"Who said it?"

"....  My nanny."

The Duchess sighed softly. I bit my lip, fearing my own sigh even more. However, warmth reached over my head.

"Why did a child come out alone tonight?"

It was strange. Nanny said the Duchess was sick because of me. My nanny said she would hate me very much. The voice that asked me was somehow warm.

I slowly raised my head. A ticklish anticipation rose, and the moment our eyes met, I said unconsciously.

"I am hungry.""

As if the timing was right, my stomach growled. At the sound of the empty stomach, the Duchess stroked my head once more.

"Okay. You need to eat something first. It is okay?"

I nodded. As I rose from my seat, the Duchess, who had been lowering her gaze, straightened her body. She held out her hand towards me. I looked back and forth between her hand and her face with my poop eyes.

Then the Duchess took my small hand. Her hand that touched me was so soft and warm. It felt like I couldn't get my hands on it. I tried to get my hand away quickly, but the Duchess held my hand tighter. 

"The stairs are darker. It hurts when you fall."

The woman's voice was warm. I walked after the Duchess with my head down. I regretted coming out even earlier. 

But, I thought I did well in coming out.

***

Soft white bread and meat-filled soup on the table, plus fresh salad and yellow fruit juice. It was full of delicious food, but I couldn't hold the fork readily.  

The Duchess sitting right in front of me. But even after hearing her words, I only slightly raised my head and looked at the Duchess 

"Do you not like bread very much?"

"I like it very much."

 "Then eat. If you stay hungry, you won't grow taller."

"Eat more baby. If your stomach is hungry, won't he grow taller later?"

Oddly enough, it seemed as if my mother's playful voice could be heard above the Duchess's words. So I blindly reached out and grabbed my bread. It was the first time I had such sweet and delicious bread. My gaze was all over the food. I never knew for that matter whether the Duchess' eyes were on my own bony arms, or on my rat-eaten, or my oddly cropped hair. 

After finishing my food, I sipped my orange juice and rolled my eyes. 

"What's wrong with your hair?"

The Duchess spoke first. I hesitated for a moment before answered.

"I cut it." 

"Who cut it like that? It looked neat when I saw you a few days ago."

"My nanny."

"Your nanny?"

"Yes."

One of the Duchess's eyebrows rose. I twitched my fingers. For some reason, the Duchess seemed angry. It was all because of me.

"... I am sorry."

It was a creeping voice. I could feel the stare, but I couldn't raise my head.

"My nanny said we should cut more. I said no, so she cut a little bit."

Apparently, I should have heard my nanny when she told me to shave my hair. Still, I wanted to leave my hair a little bit.

"... What did the nanny say when she asked you to cut your hair?" 

"... If my hair stays the same, it hurts both of you."

"... Also, did your nanny say anything else to you?"

"... You two are having a hard time because of me. It is all because of me that this place has sunk like this."

A light sigh came out. The sigh felt heavy as it piled on her shoulders. I wanted to see what expression the Duchess was making.

I didn't want to see her at the same time. I wanted to run away to my cold room, not this warm one. I wanted to hide in a place where no one could see. 

It was then. Her soft hands caressed my cheek. I raised my head at the warmth. I was looking at the Duchess.

"I'll make it clear."

"..."

"This is not your fault, kid."

"I said it was my fault."

I mumbled. The Duchess was weird. The nanny said it was all my fault. But the Duchess said that it was not my fault that she collapsed because of me.

I grabbed the hem of my dress.

"No."

The woman's voice was strong. Her hand gently lifting her chin was cautious. She denied that she wasn't laughing, but she wasn't angry either. I pursed my lips.

Apparently, my face looked in shock then I ran to the second floor.

"Really, did I do anything wrong?" 

At that moment, the Duchess laughed as if crying. I involuntarily shut my mouth.

The Duchess replied, slowly stroking my cheek.

"... Of course, you are not wrong."

It was a mistake. A low voice followed, but I couldn't understand what it meant. I just liked this warm feeling I felt after a long time, and I liked the beautiful Duchess who told me it wasn't my fault. 

Perhaps because of the relaxation, my eyelids drooped. I tried to force my eyes open, but my nods closed. I thought I would have a good dream today. Dimly, I heard the Duchess's voice.

"Nanny, bring her to me right now."

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