IDMH - Chapter 8
I Decided My Husband
"Even God doesn't care. How could you take such a good person with you so early?"
"I mean. I don't think she can close her eyes properly because she's worried about the young lady left alone..."
I was used to hearing people lament. Of course, you'll get used to it. I've already heard the same story 4 times.
Like a newborn baby. I breathed in the cold air and raised my eyelids.
Occasionally, people dressed in black could be seen behind the black veil that obscured their vision. I too was wearing black. In the luxurious coffin placed in front of me, my father was surrounded by pure white chrysanthemum flowers, his eyes closed.
"This life also starts from here."
I don't know why God gave me three chances, but it was clear that I had bad taste. Otherwise, there was no way I would have seen my father's funeral four times. I wish I could have returned it to when my father was alive. Then I would have told my father not to seek the Crown Prince.
My father, Duke Leopold, received an imperial order from the Emperor three months ago to subdue the monsters that appeared in the Eastern Territory of the Empire.
As it was a dangerous monster subjugation, my father carefully organized a subjugation expedition with talented people, but the prison was tainted. It was the Crown Prince. The Prince did not know how to use the sword properly, but he participated in the expedition for the ridiculous reason that he was gaining experience.
My father was anxious about the inexperienced Crown Prince participating in the expedition, but since he was the son of the emperor, he had no choice but to accept it. But that wasn't the case. He should have disobeyed even the Emperor. If it had been, my father wouldn't have died trying to save that stupid prince.
"It's unfortunate, but it's an honorable death."
"I know, right. Because he died while saving His Highness the Crown Prince. He is loyal."
People praised my father's actions and said it was an honor, but I couldn't relate at all. The prince should have died and my father should have lived. Then, as a knight protecting the imperial family, people would criticize him for how he could do that, but it didn't matter.
It was more important that my father was alive. If my father had been alive, I would not have suffered so much in my previous life!
"Ha ha, like an idiot."
No matter how many things have accumulated, even if you need someone to resent, you still resent your father. How stupid is this? I shook my head and erased the delusions that came to me.
Just like death, letting go of a loved one is something that we have not adapted to, no matter how many
times we have experienced it. Rather, each time the number of times was added, the sadness deepened.
Strangely, no tears came out. It's sadder than before. I think I'm going crazy because I'm sad, but my eyes are dry like the desert. As if all the moisture in the body has dried up. As I stared at my father with an expressionless face, as if my emotions had dried up, the people at the funeral looked at me and whispered.
"Somehow, even though it's her father's funeral, she doesn't shed a single tear. Be merciless."
"I know, right. I heard that the father-daughter relationship was very good, but I guess not."
With people who point fingers at me for being unkind.
"Lady Leopold is very dignified. If it were me, I would have collapsed from sobbing."
"I know, right. As expected, the daughter of the duchy is different."
The people I praised for being dignified were divided into two categories.
"Miss."
While they were staring at my father, whether they did or not, someone called me in a very sad voice. Looking back. I noticed lush gray hair. There was a lot of sadness in her wrinkled eyes.
"Butler."
It was Hannes, the butler who had worked for the Leopold family since my grandfather's time. Hannes pursed his lips to see if he had something to say but soon closed them tightly.
Knowing from previous life experiences what Hannes wanted to say, I smiled lightly and stretched out my arms toward him.
"Can you comfort me, Butler?"
"Do I dare?"
"Of course. Are you sure you don't like it?"
"It can't be. Rather, it is an honor, Young Lady."
When I was younger, he hugged me when I was sad without saying anything, but since now I have a big head, he only moved after receiving my permission.
"My master must have gone to a good place."
The hand that patted my back was kind. It was as if my father had returned alive.
"So don't be too sad, Lady."
Is that why? Tears fell like rain on dry land. It's not that the tears didn't dry up. But it seemed that I couldn't cry because I was so overcome with sadness.
"Haa..."
I buried my face in Hannes' arms, held my breath, and wept.
Hannes felt sorry for me and continued to pat my back.
***
The tears that once spilled didn't know how to stop, but they continued to flow, I couldn't just cry forever. Because I am the only blood of the Leopold family, and I have no relatives, I have to greet all the guests who come by myself.
"Welcome."
I tried to swallow my tears and greeted the guests.
"It is very unfortunate. Rest in peace, Your Excellency the Duke."
"Thank you."
It was a lot of hard work, but it was worth it because there were not many mourners because of the weather. Just two days ago, a blizzard raged across the Empire, making it impossible to use most of the means of transportation within the Empire, such as magic-amplifying trains and wagons.
Moreover, since the Duchy of Leopold was located in the northernmost part of the empire, it was difficult to reach without a magic amplification train. As a result, only nobles from the northern territories of the empire could come to the funeral.
Even then, there were not many 1eft, as the majority had gone to the warm south for recreation. It was modest to say that it was a funeral for a first-class Duke and a hero who saved the life of the Crown Prince.
"To the side of the feared Lord-"
The voice of the priest who had been brought in with difficulty resonated hollowly in the wide space. People felt sorry for the modest funeral. In my first life, I thought so too. However, after repeating several lives, it was better to be simple. It would have been a big deal if there were a lot of customers, I felt particularly fortunate that the damn Emperor's representative couldn't come.
If I had come, I would have been impatient and pointed my sword at that proud face. The things the Emperor had done to me in my past life came to mind like afterimages, and my anger rose.
I hid my angry face under a black veil and gnashed my teeth.
"Young lady."
When the priest finally finished the prayer and withdrew, the butler held out a white chrysanthemum flower to me. I received the flower and gently put it down on my father's chest, who was keeping both hands neatly together.
My father had told me before he was alive that if you were descended from the Leopold family, you should be loyal to the imperial family and not disobey the Emperor's order.
"I have already broken that word twice."
But what do you do, Father?
I'm still thinking about breaking my father's words. I plan to completely destroy the imperial family that my father tried to protect with his life by any means necessary. Even if it means failing over and over again and repeating a terrible life over and over again.
"Will you forgive me, Father?"
I'm just trying to avenge what happened to me. Please, even if we meet again in that high place, hug me silently instead of blaming me for why I did it. Saying you've been through a hard time.
I've been through it a few times in my life, but this was the first time I'd said these things to my father. Maybe that's why, I felt a little strange. I also had a good feeling that this life would be different from the last one.
I stretched out the waist I had bent down to put the flowers on and looked up at the sky. At that moment, white snowflakes fell from the sky. It happened in the past life, but it's just an ordinary eye that doesn't mean anything.
It was as if my father had answered my heart, and my heart felt a little, very little at ease. As the snowflakes grew thicker. I stood in front of my father's coffin even as the mourners sought refuge in the annex.
As I watched my father's pale face. feeling the cold snowflakes on my cheek, an umbrella fell over my head. A thick shawl hung over his shoulders.
"It's cold out, Lady."
It was Hannes, the head butler of the duchy.
"It's a big deal if you catch a cold, so please go in."
"I am okay. This snow will stop soon."
"Yes? How do you know?"
"Just by feeling."
I responded with a smile to Harnes, who looked at me as if he didn't know why, and then I straightened the slightly flowing shawl.
"Father's funeral ends today, right?"
"Yes. But why not have a month-1ong memorial period for guests who couldn't attend because of the weather?"
"No, we don't have to."
Then, I would be criticized by others for being unkind and for violating my duty, but I couldn't help it. This way, I can delay the man's arrival even a little bit. Hannes, who had no way of knowing such a situation, said in embarrassment.
"But, Lady, then the others..."
"It's okay."
I cut off Hannes and took the umbrella he was holding.
"Then do as I say and go do what you need to do."
Hanes looked at me with worried eyes, then turned away. I also looked at my father's face a little longer before going into the mansion.
"Did we come too late?"
Just then. I heard a familiar male voice behind me.
"That's why I told you to leave early."
The woman's voice behind him was also familiar.
"What can I do? The wagon is not running."
I looked back slowly. I didn't know who it was when I heard the voice, but I knew it right away when I saw the mean face like a fox.
Why did they forget that they were coming late?
Well, they really only had a handful in my past life, so it's no wonder I forgot them.
"Adele, are we not late?"
"No."
They weren't welcome people, but I greeted them with a smile as if they weren't.
"Welcome, Uncle, Aunt."
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