(62) My daughter Ariana (2)
Russell's face suddenly distorted.
She thought he was angry again, but Russell said,
"Yes, it must hurt. It must hurt a lot."
"No, I..."
"Ariana."
Despite his angry expression, his voice was gentle.
"You've had a hard time."
“The hardship is Your Excellency's...”
Russell's face suddenly distorted.
She thought he was angry again, but Russell said,
"Yes, it must hurt. It must hurt a lot."
"No, I..."
"Ariana."
Despite his angry expression, his voice was gentle.
"You've had a hard time."
“The hardship is Your Excellency's...”
"I'm sorry."
"No, I..."
"I'm truly sorry, Ariana. I'm sorry for being a father whom you can't trust."
"..."
"You stabbed yourself with that knife, didn't you? I've been thinking about why you had to inflict such a wound on yourself. I think you were trying to find a chance to escape from the Western Duke."
Russell's eyes sparkled.
"I didn't know you were in such a desperate situation... I was like... I'm sorry, Ariana. Please forgive me for not being able to do anything properly."
"No, Your Excellency. What's wrong... No. I'm really okay."
Russell covered his eyes with his hand. Tears streamed down his cheeks, the corners of his eyes hidden by his large hands.
The Eastern Duke was crying.
Ariana had never had the opportunity to see a grown man cry, especially one sitting in such a prestigious position.
Unsure of how to react, she glared at Russell, who, covering his eyes, spoke.
“Don’t say you’re okay. Don’t ever say you’re okay in front of me again.”
“...I’m sorry. I…...
“Don’t even say you’re sorry. Don’t ask for forgiveness. I’m the one who should be asking for forgiveness, so please... Ariana, don’t embarrass me any further.”
“What is there to be ashamed of, Your Excellency? There’s nothing like that.”
“No.”
When Russell lowered his hand, his eyes were soaked with tears.
“Who could be more shameful than a father who sat safely in a safe place, unaware that his daughter was burning in hell?”
“...”
“Every time I see you, I feel pathetic and can’t bear it.”
Ariana strained her eyes. She felt like the tears she'd barely suppressed would spill over. She felt like her hopeful nightmare would become reality. She felt like she'd once again harbor foolish, vain hopes.
"I want to... be alone."
Actually, she wanted to say something else.
It hurts so much. I feel like I'm going to die. I'm in agony. I can't breathe. Please save me. The memories of the past won't go away, no matter what I do. Over and over, I feel like I'm being strangled.
As long as they exist in this world, I'll feel like I'm walking through a poisonous fog. Please kill them all. Get them out of my sight. So I can breathe.
"Uh... uh, right. Right. You need to rest, but I interrupted. Sorry. Go ahead and rest."
“Every time I see you, I feel pathetic and can’t bear it.”
Ariana strained her eyes. She felt like the tears she'd barely suppressed would spill over. She felt like her hopeful nightmare would become reality. She felt like she'd once again harbor foolish, vain hopes.
"I want to... be alone."
Actually, she wanted to say something else.
It hurts so much. I feel like I'm going to die. I'm in agony. I can't breathe. Please save me. The memories of the past won't go away, no matter what I do. Over and over, I feel like I'm being strangled.
As long as they exist in this world, I'll feel like I'm walking through a poisonous fog. Please kill them all. Get them out of my sight. So I can breathe.
"Uh... uh, right. Right. You need to rest, but I interrupted. Sorry. Go ahead and rest."
She stared at Russell's back as he hurried away, then pulled the blanket back under her.
The darkness beneath the blanket felt cozy. Whenever she was with Russell, the overwhelming emotions overflowed, making her feel like she was going to vomit.
“The Eastern Duke didn’t even know I was hiding here.”
The voice from outside the blanket didn’t surprise her.
“The Eastern Duke easily sees through my hiding, but I don’t know if I’ve grown stronger or if he simply didn’t have the presence of mind to do so.”
“Didn’t you hear me say I wanted to be alone?”
“I must have gone deaf.”
“I want to be alone. Please leave.”
“No, I don’t feel like it right now. I’m angry and need to vent some anger.”
Ariana gently lowered the blanket, peeking out. Cyrus stood beside the bed, looking down at her.
The sight of his brilliant silver hair and red eyes brought a sense of joy, but she wasn’t in a position to share such thoughts now.
“Why are you angry?”
“Because you don’t cherish your body.”
“It’s none of Your Excellency’s business how I use my body.”
“I do. I helped you, and what if you die before you can repay the favor?”
“Then, you should make the Eastern Duke pay the price. And come to think of it, Northern Duke. I am now a Princess of a nation. Please don’t treat me so poorly.”
“Oh, dear.”
Cyrus grinned.
“I see. I was rude, Princess.”
Even though she had asked him to do so, his sudden politeness sent shivers down her spine.
“No, it would be better to just act as usual.”
“How could I treat a Princess of a nation like usual? I will be more polite in the future, so please forgive my rudeness earlier.”
“...Your Excellency.”
"Not Your Excellency, but the Northern Duke, or Cyrus. That's enough."
During their brief time apart, Cyrus seemed to have become a bit romanticized. She forgotten how reckless this man sometimes was.
"Northern Duke, would you stop messing around and get angry and go back quickly?"
"Princess. If Isaac hadn't been here this time, the Princess would have been in real danger."
"Did Isaac treat me?"
"Yes. He applied some painkillers, but you said it still hurt. Does it hurt?"
"Yes, it hurts. Very much."
"You told the Eastern Duke it was fine."
"The Northern Duke is generous enough to understand me no matter what I do."
"Does that mean you don't need to look good to me and don't want to worry about image management?"
Ariana smiled briefly, recalling their conversation in the West.
“Because I'm a Princess.”
The darkness beneath the blanket felt cozy. Whenever she was with Russell, the overwhelming emotions overflowed, making her feel like she was going to vomit.
“The Eastern Duke didn’t even know I was hiding here.”
The voice from outside the blanket didn’t surprise her.
“The Eastern Duke easily sees through my hiding, but I don’t know if I’ve grown stronger or if he simply didn’t have the presence of mind to do so.”
“Didn’t you hear me say I wanted to be alone?”
“I must have gone deaf.”
“I want to be alone. Please leave.”
“No, I don’t feel like it right now. I’m angry and need to vent some anger.”
Ariana gently lowered the blanket, peeking out. Cyrus stood beside the bed, looking down at her.
The sight of his brilliant silver hair and red eyes brought a sense of joy, but she wasn’t in a position to share such thoughts now.
“Why are you angry?”
“Because you don’t cherish your body.”
“It’s none of Your Excellency’s business how I use my body.”
“I do. I helped you, and what if you die before you can repay the favor?”
“Then, you should make the Eastern Duke pay the price. And come to think of it, Northern Duke. I am now a Princess of a nation. Please don’t treat me so poorly.”
“Oh, dear.”
Cyrus grinned.
“I see. I was rude, Princess.”
Even though she had asked him to do so, his sudden politeness sent shivers down her spine.
“No, it would be better to just act as usual.”
“How could I treat a Princess of a nation like usual? I will be more polite in the future, so please forgive my rudeness earlier.”
“...Your Excellency.”
"Not Your Excellency, but the Northern Duke, or Cyrus. That's enough."
During their brief time apart, Cyrus seemed to have become a bit romanticized. She forgotten how reckless this man sometimes was.
"Northern Duke, would you stop messing around and get angry and go back quickly?"
"Princess. If Isaac hadn't been here this time, the Princess would have been in real danger."
"Did Isaac treat me?"
"Yes. He applied some painkillers, but you said it still hurt. Does it hurt?"
"Yes, it hurts. Very much."
"You told the Eastern Duke it was fine."
"The Northern Duke is generous enough to understand me no matter what I do."
"Does that mean you don't need to look good to me and don't want to worry about image management?"
Ariana smiled briefly, recalling their conversation in the West.
“Yes, Duke of the North. That's what it means.”
“Oh, you're just leaving now.”
“Yes, Princess. Congratulations on your rise, Princess. But you should cherish that body. I don’t like seeing you lying on the ground, hurting and rolling around.”
“Are you afraid you’ll lose your precious resources?”
“Yes. I’m sorry for barging into your bedroom without permission. It won’t happen again.”
Cyrus disappeared. But her heart wasn’t as empty as when she’d parted ways with him in the East.
Cyrus apologized for barging into her bedroom without permission, but Ariana didn’t feel bad about it. Instead, a warm, indefinable feeling settled over her.
Too tired and exhausted to name it, Ariana wrapped herself in her cozy blanket and fell asleep.
***
Cyrus quietly left Ariana’s bedroom.
He wasn’t the type of person to barge into a woman’s bedroom without permission, but he couldn’t stand the worry. He felt like he couldn’t fall asleep unless he made sure Ariana was awake, so for two days, he stood in the corner of the bedroom, watching her.
Russell, too, had been stuck by Ariana's bedside for two days, unable to even approach her. But just confirming that she was awake was enough.
The relief he felt was astonishing.
It was only the person who was supposed to wake up that had woken up, so why was he so relieved?
'Am I doubting Isaac's skills?'
Isaac's medicine was so effective that it was rumored to even revive the dead. Isaac had performed the surgery himself, applied the medicine he made himself, and administered it, so it was only natural that she would wake up as soon as her strength recovered.
Still, he felt anxious and uneasy, worried that she might not wake up.
'It's a waste of time. It's inefficient.'
Cyrus, with no medical background, watched over Ariana, and it didn't seem to speed up her recovery, but he wasted time. Cyrus, who had always strictly divided what he could and couldn't do, couldn't understand his own actions.
Strangely, whenever Ariana was involved, he acted inefficiently. He couldn't discern right from wrong.
'What's the problem?'
Cyrus, lost in thought, entered his villa. The moment he stepped inside, a pungent smell woke him up. The villa was filled with a foul odor.
Cyrus frowned and strode over to Isaac's room, opening it.
A study table and a crafting table, research materials, herbs, and unidentifiable ingredients were strewn about the room. Isaac was busy making something in the messy room.
Cyrus approached the window and said,
“Open the window a bit.”
“Ten brought a letter. It should be somewhere in there.”
"Should I tidy up the room?"
"You sound like my mother."
"Isaac..."
"I'm busy making a potion that will completely erase the Princess's scar. The Princess didn't seem to apply the ointment I gave her last time. She has some old scars left, and the ointment I used last time didn't do anything to them."
Cyrus knew why Ariana hadn't applied the ointment. Ariana's scars were evidence of abuse. She'd left them there, first to gain acceptance as a sibling, and later to use in custody proceedings.
"I'm trying to make an ointment that can remove even old scars, but it's not easy. I've tried making something similar, but it's too toxic. It might work for you or the Black Knights, but not for the Princess. She's so weak, I'm afraid she'll get hurt before her scars heal."
Cyrus silently rummaged through the paperwork.
Isaac glanced at Cyrus, who had stopped complaining at the mention of making an ointment to remove Ariana's scars, and smirked.
Finally, Cyrus found the letter, roughly pushed aside the herbs scattered on the sofa, and sat down. Cyrus's expression darkened as he read the letter.
Isaac asked,
"What did it say?"
"That's not good."
"I told you it wouldn't be the Hinan region."
The Hinan region was once the site of the great city of Hedran, founded by the Pagans, but it was now a complete ruin.
The previous Northern Duke died nearby, and the previous Black Knights he led disappeared. Cyrus was searching for the vanished Black Knights. The current Black Knights, personally selected and trained by Cyrus, were strong, but not as strong as their predecessors. The magic remaining only in the Northern Territory had weakened with each generation.
The current Black Knights couldn't match the power of the previous Black Knights.
Isaac removed his gloves, approached, and sat next to Cyrus.
"Cyrus, I hate to say this, but... isn't this pointless?"
"Pointless..."
"They might all be dead. They died when the previous Duke died, but the Duke didn't report it. Or... the Paganus. You know."
"They were eaten by the Paganus?"
"They believe they can take someone's talent and make it their own. Wouldn't the ice magic of the North realm be a very attractive power to them?"
Of course, Cyrus had thought the same thing. But he didn't want to believe it.
Cyrus clearly remembered the might of the Black Knights led by the previous Northern Duke. He had been amazed by their dazzling ice magic as if it were yesterday.
No matter how strange Paganus's tricks were, he couldn't have eliminated every single one of the previous Black Knights.
"Even one will do. If there's even one survivor..."
Cyrus thought of his parents.
More than anything, he wanted to know one thing.
"They'll tell me the end of the previous Duke."
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