There was not a trace of playfulness on Cedric's face. His eyes were calm, yet filled with firm determination.
"I think we've already discussed that part."
As Odelia retorted, Cedric took a step closer.
"Why don't you like it? Do you just want to remain friends with me? What will change if we get married in a sham marriage? Are you sure you don't want to merge? Even if you can merge with a man who doesn't have feelings for you, why can't you do it with me?"
“Cedric!”
Cedric's eyes were anxious and uneasy. He pressed his lips tightly together to suppress his emotions, and his fingertips trembled faintly.
Cedric opened his mouth in a desperate state, feeling that if he delayed saying this one word any longer, the opportunity would be lost forever.
"I like you, no, I love you. I've been playing around with you ever since I first saw you on the battlefield. It was to hide my feelings."
His voice continued without wavering.
"You didn't seem to have any intention of getting married, and you didn't seem to have any intention of becoming a good wife. That's why I couldn't tell you, for fear of it seeming like I was holding you back."
After a moment of silence, he took a step closer and added his final words.
"But not now. If you don't want children, I won't want any in my life. I'll do whatever you want, whether you adopt or not. So, marry me, Odelia."
Cedric's hand, holding Odelia's, trembled slightly.
Odelia couldn't help but notice how nervous he was, as the slightest tremor was transmitted through his fingertips.
She did think he might like her, but she wasn't sure, so she pretended not to know. Cedric was a friend to her, and she couldn't reciprocate his feelings.
Because she hoped that the same situation would not come to pass.
Cedric looked up at her from the bottom of the stairs, his pale brown eyes shaking uncontrollably.
Looking at that sight, Odelia stretched out her arms and carefully hugged Cedric.
In the warmth and sensation of embrace, Cedric suddenly realized.
There's no way to change Odelia's mind.
This wasn't a lover's embrace. This was her final comfort as a colleague, as a friend.
"I'm sorry. Cedric, I wanted to keep you as my friend for life. I'm sorry. You can blame me, you can curse me. But to me, you will always be my most precious friend and colleague, Cedric."
Odelia raised her head slightly and met Cedric's eyes.
"I understand how you feel. Knowing that makes me even more unacceptable. You're so kind and affectionate that you'd dedicate your life to me, and I'd never feel anything more than sorry and grateful to you for that."
"I don't mind receiving those feelings. I have no intention of receiving anything in return."
"Cedric, I know how painful it is to love unrequitedly."
As Odelia whispered softly, avoiding his eyes, tears fell quietly from Cedric's eyes, pitter-pattering.
Odelia carefully and preciously cupped Cedric's cheeks. Her trembling thumbs ran over his cheeks, wiping away the tears.
As the warm body temperature touched him, Cedric stopped lowering his head and looked up at Odelia.
Cedric smiled hollowly, his face flushed red from crying.
"Isn't that too much, Odelia? Why are you being so affectionate when you're just giving me the cold shoulder?"
Odelia didn't respond. Instead, she bent down slightly, as if crouching, and carefully placed her forehead against Cedric's.
The warmth that was conveyed was warmer and more affectionate than any words.
For a while, they stood there in silence, just sharing each other's breath, Cedric said softly.
"Promise me, Odelia."
"..."
"Just like now, you too will be the most honest with yourself."
"..."
"Marry the person you want to marry. Don't get married because you're being ordered to, and don't get married because you beg. Marry the person you want to marry. Promise me that you will do that. If you do that, I won't get any closer to you."
"...Cedric."
Cedric said nothing.
And Odelia, too, never made any promises.
***
The night was deepening.
Odelia tossed and turned in bed, unable to fall asleep, until she finally quietly got up. Hoping that a cup of warm tea would make her feel a little better, she stepped out onto the terrace.
The garden under the moonlight was quiet, as if even the wind had stopped. Odelia slowly sat down on a chair placed on one side of the terrace.
She stared blankly at the dark scenery, taking in the scent of tea rising in wisps.
Cedric's words from earlier kept coming to mind.
'Promise me, you will be the most honest with yourself.'
Be most honest.
"...There's no way that's possible."
Your honesty might put the other person at risk, as it might make them feel awkward.
Odelia brought the teacup to her lips.
A distant, bitter taste spread through her mouth. Odelia smiled bitterly and slowly put down her teacup. As expected, the tea was tasteless.
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