96. Lies
Her stomach began to churn again, and Erna squeezed her eyes shut. Only after counting to ten did her nausea finally subside. Normally, she would have gone for a walk long ago, but today, she found it difficult to even sit up.
“Your Highness, by any chance...”
Lisa, who had been looking at her with pity, suddenly brightened. Feeling embarrassed, Erna pulled the blanket up to her chin and shook her head.
“No, Lisa. I just feel a little unwell.”
“But just in case, shouldn’t you get a checkup?”
“There’s no need for that.”
Lisa flinched at the sudden low voice from behind her and turned her head. The Prince, who had been having breakfast with the Baroness in the garden, had already returned.
“Her Highness is suffering from the aftereffects of drinking too much right now.”
“Bjorn!”
Erna, flustered, silenced Bjorn. Startled, Lisa rolled her eyes, surveying the situation, then hurriedly retreated.
“What if I say something like that?”
Erna's eyes were filled with resentment as she watched Bjorn approach the bed. Bjorn cocked his eyebrows and sat down beside Erna with an indifferent expression.
“Did I lie or something?”
“Even so, if you say it like that, I’ll be embarrassed to see Lisa.”
“Really? I thought you didn’t know shame.”
"That..."
Erna, feeling a pang of embarrassment as an embarrassing memory came to mind, shifted her gaze beyond the window as if pretending not to know anything.
“I don’t quite understand what you’re talking about.”
Erna lied as best she could, even though it didn't seem to be very effective.
Actually, she remembers everything.
The outrageous sight of the forest. The path back, disheveled and in Bjorn's arms. The startled face of her grandmother. The dawn when she woke up after falling asleep early, claiming she wasn't feeling well. The complex pain of a kind she's never felt before. Erna remembered it all so vividly that she almost wished she had fainted.
"Hey, you virtuous lady. Be honest. You remember everything."
Bjorn's speech was annoyingly laid-back.
"No."
“The more you do that, the more miserable it becomes, Erna.”
“...I think I remember about half of it.”
When she couldn't hide her wavering gaze, Erna suggested a compromise.
“Yeah. If that makes you feel a little better.”
Bjorn nodded, his seriousness making him even more irritable. Unable to find a retort, Erna simply stared at the patterns on the wallpaper opposite her.
“I thought alcohol was good for you, but that’s not always the case.”
Bjorn laughed at the embarrassed muttering to himself.
“Is this what happens when you drink a lot?”
“If you drink like that, that’s what happens.”
“Why are you so calm? You drank a lot more than I did.”
“Don’t compare your paltry drinking capacity to mine.”
Bjorn playfully ruffled Erna's hair. As she straightened her hair with a serious expression, there was no trace of the pretty drunkard from yesterday.
“Is this how you’ll be able to sit down at the dinner table tonight?”
“Dinner?”
“I heard the Baroness is preparing a farewell dinner.”
"Ah..."
The word she had tried not to think about shocked Erna.
She has to leave this place tomorrow.
The fact that she could no longer avoid it felt like a suffocating feeling. She knew full well she shouldn't be like this. Like an idiot.
“I’ll be fine if I rest a little more.”
Erna answered calmly, trying to erase her foolish desire to delay departure by feigning illness.
“I’m fine.”
The words, delivered with a habitual smile, sounded quite plausible to his own ears.
She knows full well that it's not okay.
Erna hated the days when her every move was monitored and evaluated, the cruel words of slander and contempt, and the name of Princess Gladys that followed her like a shadow. She didn't want to return to the life of a hated villain. If only she could, she wanted to live these miraculous days in Burford forever.
But...
Erna's gaze, wandering through her cozy world, stopped on Bjorn's face. The world beyond that door. My salvation. My prince, with whom I long to share a long and happy life.
Erna reached out from under the covers and grabbed Bjorn's hand, which was lying on the bed. His gaze, which had been facing out the window, slowly turned to Erna.
When their eyes met, Bjorn smiled. Then, the world became beautiful. It was such a moment for Erna.
So, I have to endure it.
Erna pulled herself together and was now able to smile sincerely.
She thought everything would be okay with this man. Because she loved him. Even though it was hard, she still loved him so much.
“Stop looking at me like that and say something.”
Bjorn, who had been staring intently, suddenly spoke.
“Huh? What is it?”
"I know how you are. I understand even if you use harsh language."
Erna gasped for breath and managed to escape the predicament by simply closing her eyes tightly.
“Why aren’t you saying anything? You were talking so much yesterday.”
Bjorn's cool, soft hand lightly tapped the bridge of my nose.
“That... I think it belongs to the half I don’t remember.”
It may seem like a poor answer, but it was the only answer Erna could give.
Although she felt ashamed to death, Erna was happy. Bjorn was laughing so happily, so joyfully.
“I’m sorry. I think this will be difficult.”
The middle-aged publisher smiled, a somewhat awkward but unmistakable smile of rejection. It was a familiar expression, one she's seen dozens of times by now.
“This is definitely my brother’s manuscript. Just one more time...”
“I know.”
He cut off Catherine Owen's pleas with cold words.
"These beautiful sentences, yes, are undoubtedly Gerald Owen's. I don't doubt that. But think carefully, Miss Owen. What kind of repercussions will this posthumous work create when it's published?"
“This is about uncovering hidden truths!”
“Have you ever considered that the truth might tarnish your honor?”
He looked at Catherine Owen with the same look as if he were admonishing a reckless child.
"The royal family won't remain silent. Not only Lars, but even Letzen will be turned upside down. The genius poet who died young will suddenly become the Princess's lover and the father of her illegitimate child. He will be reduced to a worthless man who committed suicide because of his immoral love."
"I know."
Catherine Owen took a deep breath and calmly accepted the fact.
Upon discovering the shocking truth in the will, she too had the same thought. Wouldn't it be better to bury the truth and preserve her brother's honor? However, she couldn't just stand by and watch Gladys Hartford, the woman who steadfastly shone, nourished by the pain and tears of others.
"But what he wanted, my brother, wasn't mere vanity, but the truth. I have a duty to follow his will. If you don't dare to reveal the truth, I'll take my leave now."
Catherine Owen turned away after repeating that stiff greeting dozens of times. This meant there were no more publishers left in Lars worth visiting, but that didn't mean the end.
So, where would be good?
With each step down, Catherine frantically considered her next move. Just as she was beginning to think that Letzen might be a good option, a young man, hastily following behind, called out to her. It was the publisher who had just sat in the office with her.
“Miss Owen, would you mind talking to me for a moment?”
He hurriedly offered a small piece of paper he had pulled from his bosom. It was a business card from a publishing company with an address in Berne, the capital of Letzen.
The table set beneath a large ash tree in the garden felt like a natural part of the countryside. The cutlery and candlesticks exuded the elegance of objects cherished over time, and the food, though unpretentious, was prepared with care.
Bjorn gazed at the dinner table, holding a glass of fragrant rose wine. Perhaps her hangover had subsided, Erna was chatting away as usual. Dressed neatly in her favorite floral muslin dress, she matched the simple beauty of the table perfectly. Baroness Baden listened intently, never taking her eyes off her granddaughter. Her gaze, like the candlelight, was filled with warmth and love.
“How about coming to Schwerin and staying there during the summer season?”
Bjorn made the suggestion somewhat impulsively. The season when renowned nobles from all over the land would flock to Schwerin for a vacation was just around the corner. Even those who were fond of gossiping about Erna wouldn't be able to bring that up.
"No, Your Highness. I like it here. Big cities are too crowded and chaotic, and don't suit me."
Baroness Baden, who had been lost in thought for a moment, gently expressed her refusal.
"Come visit me again, Erna, like this. That's enough for this old man. Don't you think so, Erna?"
She slowly turned her head and looked at Erna.
No, that's not true.
Erna clutched her napkin tightly, unable to bring herself to say what she wanted to say. As much as she longed to be with her grandmother, she also didn't want her grandmother to see her miserable situation. Of course, she'd already heard the bad news, even the one that had seeped into this wallpaper, but it couldn't compare to the pain of witnessing it with her own eyes.
“Yes, Grandma.”
Erna ended up lying.
“I’ll come back and play again before the year ends.”
But the hastily added words were undoubtedly sincere. She'd have more free time after the summer season ended. She'd be able to visit Burford again by early winter at the latest. If Bjorn was too busy, Erna was determined to keep that promise, even if it meant going alone.
Baroness Baden nodded with a smile, as if to say she understood his feelings.
“Yes, Erna. Let’s do that.”
The Grand Duke and Grand Duchess left Burford early the next morning.
Baroness Baden saw them off with the same smile she had on that evening ten days ago. It was a fortunate farewell, as Erna behaved much more composed than expected.
"Baby."
Baroness Baden, who had been quietly watching Erna's back as she walked towards the carriage, unconsciously moved her lips.
"No."
She finally muffled the countless words she wanted to say with a bitter laugh. It was because she felt that her comfort and encouragement might become an even heavier burden on Erna's heart.
Baroness Baden, who waved Erna back as she tried to return, looked at Bjorn with a calm gaze. The young, beautiful prince holding his granddaughter's hand. Now, he was to be Erna's family, her confidant.
“Please take good care of Erna, Grand Duke.”
Bjorn nodded readily in agreement with the words conveyed with earnest hope.
“Yes, I will do so.”
He answered in a powerful voice and escorted Erna into the carriage.
The procession, led by the carriage carrying the Grand Duke and his wife, departed along the country road, leaving behind a thick cloud of dust. Erna, who was waving faintly through the window, returned the gesture. The sky wouldn't fall if she behaved unladylike once in a while.
Baroness Baden turned back only after the last wagon had disappeared. The transparent morning sunlight filled the house, which felt excessively quiet.
"Madam."
The maid who followed me to the bedroom handed me a small package.
“Her Highness asked me to convey this on his behalf.”
“Erna?”
Baroness Baden accepted it with a slightly surprised expression.
As she carefully unwrapped the book, a book appeared. Baroness Baden, upon examining its cover, sighed and laughed.
Erna's gift was a crossword puzzle book.
Her stomach began to churn again, and Erna squeezed her eyes shut. Only after counting to ten did her nausea finally subside. Normally, she would have gone for a walk long ago, but today, she found it difficult to even sit up.
“Your Highness, by any chance...”
Lisa, who had been looking at her with pity, suddenly brightened. Feeling embarrassed, Erna pulled the blanket up to her chin and shook her head.
“No, Lisa. I just feel a little unwell.”
“But just in case, shouldn’t you get a checkup?”
“There’s no need for that.”
Lisa flinched at the sudden low voice from behind her and turned her head. The Prince, who had been having breakfast with the Baroness in the garden, had already returned.
“Her Highness is suffering from the aftereffects of drinking too much right now.”
“Bjorn!”
Erna, flustered, silenced Bjorn. Startled, Lisa rolled her eyes, surveying the situation, then hurriedly retreated.
“What if I say something like that?”
Erna's eyes were filled with resentment as she watched Bjorn approach the bed. Bjorn cocked his eyebrows and sat down beside Erna with an indifferent expression.
“Did I lie or something?”
“Even so, if you say it like that, I’ll be embarrassed to see Lisa.”
“Really? I thought you didn’t know shame.”
"That..."
Erna, feeling a pang of embarrassment as an embarrassing memory came to mind, shifted her gaze beyond the window as if pretending not to know anything.
“I don’t quite understand what you’re talking about.”
Erna lied as best she could, even though it didn't seem to be very effective.
Actually, she remembers everything.
The outrageous sight of the forest. The path back, disheveled and in Bjorn's arms. The startled face of her grandmother. The dawn when she woke up after falling asleep early, claiming she wasn't feeling well. The complex pain of a kind she's never felt before. Erna remembered it all so vividly that she almost wished she had fainted.
"Hey, you virtuous lady. Be honest. You remember everything."
Bjorn's speech was annoyingly laid-back.
"No."
“The more you do that, the more miserable it becomes, Erna.”
“...I think I remember about half of it.”
When she couldn't hide her wavering gaze, Erna suggested a compromise.
“Yeah. If that makes you feel a little better.”
Bjorn nodded, his seriousness making him even more irritable. Unable to find a retort, Erna simply stared at the patterns on the wallpaper opposite her.
“I thought alcohol was good for you, but that’s not always the case.”
Bjorn laughed at the embarrassed muttering to himself.
“Is this what happens when you drink a lot?”
“If you drink like that, that’s what happens.”
“Why are you so calm? You drank a lot more than I did.”
“Don’t compare your paltry drinking capacity to mine.”
Bjorn playfully ruffled Erna's hair. As she straightened her hair with a serious expression, there was no trace of the pretty drunkard from yesterday.
“Is this how you’ll be able to sit down at the dinner table tonight?”
“Dinner?”
“I heard the Baroness is preparing a farewell dinner.”
"Ah..."
The word she had tried not to think about shocked Erna.
She has to leave this place tomorrow.
The fact that she could no longer avoid it felt like a suffocating feeling. She knew full well she shouldn't be like this. Like an idiot.
“I’ll be fine if I rest a little more.”
Erna answered calmly, trying to erase her foolish desire to delay departure by feigning illness.
“I’m fine.”
The words, delivered with a habitual smile, sounded quite plausible to his own ears.
She knows full well that it's not okay.
Erna hated the days when her every move was monitored and evaluated, the cruel words of slander and contempt, and the name of Princess Gladys that followed her like a shadow. She didn't want to return to the life of a hated villain. If only she could, she wanted to live these miraculous days in Burford forever.
But...
Erna's gaze, wandering through her cozy world, stopped on Bjorn's face. The world beyond that door. My salvation. My prince, with whom I long to share a long and happy life.
Erna reached out from under the covers and grabbed Bjorn's hand, which was lying on the bed. His gaze, which had been facing out the window, slowly turned to Erna.
When their eyes met, Bjorn smiled. Then, the world became beautiful. It was such a moment for Erna.
So, I have to endure it.
Erna pulled herself together and was now able to smile sincerely.
She thought everything would be okay with this man. Because she loved him. Even though it was hard, she still loved him so much.
“Stop looking at me like that and say something.”
Bjorn, who had been staring intently, suddenly spoke.
“Huh? What is it?”
"I know how you are. I understand even if you use harsh language."
Erna gasped for breath and managed to escape the predicament by simply closing her eyes tightly.
“Why aren’t you saying anything? You were talking so much yesterday.”
Bjorn's cool, soft hand lightly tapped the bridge of my nose.
“That... I think it belongs to the half I don’t remember.”
It may seem like a poor answer, but it was the only answer Erna could give.
Although she felt ashamed to death, Erna was happy. Bjorn was laughing so happily, so joyfully.
***
“I’m sorry. I think this will be difficult.”
The middle-aged publisher smiled, a somewhat awkward but unmistakable smile of rejection. It was a familiar expression, one she's seen dozens of times by now.
“This is definitely my brother’s manuscript. Just one more time...”
“I know.”
He cut off Catherine Owen's pleas with cold words.
"These beautiful sentences, yes, are undoubtedly Gerald Owen's. I don't doubt that. But think carefully, Miss Owen. What kind of repercussions will this posthumous work create when it's published?"
“This is about uncovering hidden truths!”
“Have you ever considered that the truth might tarnish your honor?”
He looked at Catherine Owen with the same look as if he were admonishing a reckless child.
"The royal family won't remain silent. Not only Lars, but even Letzen will be turned upside down. The genius poet who died young will suddenly become the Princess's lover and the father of her illegitimate child. He will be reduced to a worthless man who committed suicide because of his immoral love."
"I know."
Catherine Owen took a deep breath and calmly accepted the fact.
Upon discovering the shocking truth in the will, she too had the same thought. Wouldn't it be better to bury the truth and preserve her brother's honor? However, she couldn't just stand by and watch Gladys Hartford, the woman who steadfastly shone, nourished by the pain and tears of others.
"But what he wanted, my brother, wasn't mere vanity, but the truth. I have a duty to follow his will. If you don't dare to reveal the truth, I'll take my leave now."
Catherine Owen turned away after repeating that stiff greeting dozens of times. This meant there were no more publishers left in Lars worth visiting, but that didn't mean the end.
So, where would be good?
With each step down, Catherine frantically considered her next move. Just as she was beginning to think that Letzen might be a good option, a young man, hastily following behind, called out to her. It was the publisher who had just sat in the office with her.
“Miss Owen, would you mind talking to me for a moment?”
He hurriedly offered a small piece of paper he had pulled from his bosom. It was a business card from a publishing company with an address in Berne, the capital of Letzen.
***
The table set beneath a large ash tree in the garden felt like a natural part of the countryside. The cutlery and candlesticks exuded the elegance of objects cherished over time, and the food, though unpretentious, was prepared with care.
Bjorn gazed at the dinner table, holding a glass of fragrant rose wine. Perhaps her hangover had subsided, Erna was chatting away as usual. Dressed neatly in her favorite floral muslin dress, she matched the simple beauty of the table perfectly. Baroness Baden listened intently, never taking her eyes off her granddaughter. Her gaze, like the candlelight, was filled with warmth and love.
“How about coming to Schwerin and staying there during the summer season?”
Bjorn made the suggestion somewhat impulsively. The season when renowned nobles from all over the land would flock to Schwerin for a vacation was just around the corner. Even those who were fond of gossiping about Erna wouldn't be able to bring that up.
"No, Your Highness. I like it here. Big cities are too crowded and chaotic, and don't suit me."
Baroness Baden, who had been lost in thought for a moment, gently expressed her refusal.
"Come visit me again, Erna, like this. That's enough for this old man. Don't you think so, Erna?"
She slowly turned her head and looked at Erna.
No, that's not true.
Erna clutched her napkin tightly, unable to bring herself to say what she wanted to say. As much as she longed to be with her grandmother, she also didn't want her grandmother to see her miserable situation. Of course, she'd already heard the bad news, even the one that had seeped into this wallpaper, but it couldn't compare to the pain of witnessing it with her own eyes.
“Yes, Grandma.”
Erna ended up lying.
“I’ll come back and play again before the year ends.”
But the hastily added words were undoubtedly sincere. She'd have more free time after the summer season ended. She'd be able to visit Burford again by early winter at the latest. If Bjorn was too busy, Erna was determined to keep that promise, even if it meant going alone.
Baroness Baden nodded with a smile, as if to say she understood his feelings.
“Yes, Erna. Let’s do that.”
***
The Grand Duke and Grand Duchess left Burford early the next morning.
Baroness Baden saw them off with the same smile she had on that evening ten days ago. It was a fortunate farewell, as Erna behaved much more composed than expected.
"Baby."
Baroness Baden, who had been quietly watching Erna's back as she walked towards the carriage, unconsciously moved her lips.
"No."
She finally muffled the countless words she wanted to say with a bitter laugh. It was because she felt that her comfort and encouragement might become an even heavier burden on Erna's heart.
Baroness Baden, who waved Erna back as she tried to return, looked at Bjorn with a calm gaze. The young, beautiful prince holding his granddaughter's hand. Now, he was to be Erna's family, her confidant.
“Please take good care of Erna, Grand Duke.”
Bjorn nodded readily in agreement with the words conveyed with earnest hope.
“Yes, I will do so.”
He answered in a powerful voice and escorted Erna into the carriage.
The procession, led by the carriage carrying the Grand Duke and his wife, departed along the country road, leaving behind a thick cloud of dust. Erna, who was waving faintly through the window, returned the gesture. The sky wouldn't fall if she behaved unladylike once in a while.
Baroness Baden turned back only after the last wagon had disappeared. The transparent morning sunlight filled the house, which felt excessively quiet.
"Madam."
The maid who followed me to the bedroom handed me a small package.
“Her Highness asked me to convey this on his behalf.”
“Erna?”
Baroness Baden accepted it with a slightly surprised expression.
As she carefully unwrapped the book, a book appeared. Baroness Baden, upon examining its cover, sighed and laughed.
Erna's gift was a crossword puzzle book.
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