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"If, as you say, we're doing well because you're my wife, then there's no reason to want a divorce. Going this far seems to imply you have some kind of belief."
“No way. I just don’t want to live with you anymore.”
“Why, because you know I betrayed you and you hate me?”
“I have no reason to hate you, Heiner.”
At those words, Heiner's eyes twitched briefly. He moved his lips slightly, as if he wanted to say something. Annette didn't wait for him and spoke first.
"I don't hate anyone. Even if the whole world hated me, I couldn't. I don't deserve it."
Heiner looked as if he couldn't believe those words had come out of her mouth. Annette felt a little strange.
Did he think she'd be stuck in this mansion, gnashing her teeth at anyone who spoke of her disposition? Without the slightest sense of guilt.
"Every newspaper says we need to completely destroy all vestiges of dictatorship. I'm not sure what part of me needs to be destroyed, but if you want, you can do it."
Annette was still illiterate in politics. But she understood what a cause was. She understood human rights and democracy. She understood why people wanted a new system.
She didn't know before and didn't want to know, but now she knows.
There were also feelings of guilt, indebtedness, shame, and such. Of course, it couldn't be said that these feelings were truly based on understanding.
It was simply that the world had told her she was wrong, so she had to accept it. Three years had passed since the monarchy's fall. Three years was enough time to drive a person's mind into a corner.
“I don’t care, as long as you divorce me.”
Even if she were to fall, she didn't want to fall as Heiner Valdemar's wife. She didn't want to see the man she loved suffer like this. This was Annette's last remaining pride.
If there was one thing she wanted to be compensated for, it was the time she had loved Heiner.
“Divorce, divorce, divorce.”
Heiner's words were cut off.
“I guess it’s because your life is so easy, so divorce is easy too.”
“...Is there anything difficult? As long as you agree.”
“I disagree.”
A large hand grabbed both her shoulders. The warmth she felt through the slip was excruciatingly hot. He spoke fiercely.
“I don’t agree.”
“I’m of no use to you anymore. As I said, I’m just a stain... Let me go.”
But Heiner gripped her shoulder even tighter. Their faces were so close they could almost touch. The murderous aura took her breath away.
A gloomy, subdued voice pierced my ear.
“You will gladly become my stain.”
“Heiner.”
"You will always be my wife, you will never leave this place, and you will never dream of freedom or happiness. You will pay the price for your sins, enduring all the misery I see."
Heiner chewed on each word as he spat them out. Their eyes met for a mere fraction of a second. They were so close that their breaths could almost touch.
Annette grimaced slightly at the tingling sensation in her shoulder, and only then did Heiner let her go. A precarious silence fell.
The heated atmosphere gradually cooled. After observing Annette for a while, he spoke with a much more composed demeanor.
"There's an opening banquet for the Belen Hotel in a few days. Please prepare accordingly, Madam, as you need to accompany me."
“...”
“As my wife.”
He added emphatically. Heiner's eyes, which had once gleamed, became silent again. His face, flawless and exquisite, like a well-carved marble, was imbued with an inexplicable aura.
"No, I do not want."
Annette rebelled for the first time.
“You have to go.”
“I don’t want to go.”
“Why, didn’t you like parties?”
Heiner sneered. He was referring to her, who had been going to numerous parties and social gatherings before her marriage.
“If you don’t like it, are you going to drag me away by force?”
"Think carefully, Madam. If you continue to defy me like this, I could have you locked up in a mental hospital for the rest of your life."
"...What?"
"No matter how much you deny you're not crazy, no one will believe you. I won't even make them believe you. Running away won't help. I'll find you. If you don't want to spend the rest of your life confined to a mental hospital, you'd better do as I say."
A voice like broken glass pierced her ears, syllable by syllable.
Annette stared at Heiner, pale and utterly exhausted. Her head creaked like an uneven chair. The hand holding the blanket trembled slightly.
Is this really Heiner Valdemar?
Is this really the lover I once loved so deeply?
Heiner's cold, downcast gaze was no different from usual, but to Annette, it felt unfamiliar. So unfamiliar that it was frightening.
Why didn't I know this sooner? I should've known from the moment my father passed away, when he turned cold and detached, as if he'd been waiting for it. He approached me with a purpose from the beginning. He was this kind of person from the beginning.
No...I knew it. I knew it. I just couldn't admit it. At the time, I was mentally overwhelmed and needed something to hold onto. That was Heiner.
At the time, Annette brainwashed herself again and again. Otherwise, she simply couldn't have endured it.
It's because I'm in this situation right now.
He married me, thinking I was a noble and honorable lady of the aristocracy, but now she's fallen so low.
So, love may cool down for a while.
But he will definitely come back.
To the moments we loved. To the seasons we loved. To the things we loved...
“Answer me, ma’am.”
Ah.
Why didn't I realize this sooner?
Love that stems from usefulness is not love.
Annette opened her mouth as if to say something, then closed it again. Her voice was barely coming out. She swallowed a trembling breath with difficulty and nodded faintly.
Despite her acceptance, Heiner didn't look at all satisfied. In fact, he looked displeased. It was as if he wasn't satisfied with the fear he instilled and the resulting weakness.
A gaze as gray as ash slowly slid across her face. It seemed infinitely cold, yet held a strange warmth.
Annette found it difficult to look him in the eye for some reason, so she lowered her head. Finally, Heiner rose from the bed. He strode out of the room without looking back.
Bang. The door closed.
Annette sat in a daze, trying to gather her thoughts. It felt like a storm had swept through her. What had just happened felt like a distant memory.
Annette let out a short sigh and opened the bedside drawer. Inside were several packets of sleeping pills. They were prescribed by Dr. Arnold.
She opened the bag of sleeping pills, took one of the three pills, and put the remaining two in the bottle. The bottle, about the size of a hand, was already more than half full.
Annette had been hoarding sleeping pills for quite some time, like a squirrel stashing food. Every time the bottle grew heavier, she felt a strange sense of security.
She closed her eyes and lay there, waiting for the medicine to take effect. Hoping she wouldn't have any nightmares tonight.
"─That's why I didn't study abroad. I'm a bit timid. I'm not good at foreign languages either. I heard Heiner has been abroad a lot, right?"
“Yes. I was in quite a few places because of the operation.”
“Do you know how to speak there?”
“That’s true, but there were many places where a common language was used.”
“Do you happen to know how many languages...?”
"There are four common languages. That's because I received my education at the institution from a young age."
“Wow, that’s really amazing. I’m really not good at studying.”
“I know you play the piano well.”
"Well, I've been playing since I was little. For a very long time, I dreamed of becoming a pianist... but I'm not sure about that these days."
“Why?”
"I'm starting to feel a bit skeptical about my talent. I'm wondering if this path is really right for me. Oh, don't take it too seriously. After all, for someone of my status, I think it's more noble to pursue piano as a hobby rather than a career."
“Annette’s playing is superb. She will definitely become an outstanding pianist.”
“Ahaha, what is this? You’ve never even heard me play.”
“You look like you’re good at hitting.”
Heiner shrugged. Annette playfully slapped his arm and laughed. He smiled back. The roses swayed in the breeze.
Swaaa...
The scenery passed, passed, passed. A summer night sky filled with stars unfolded. They were on a boat floating on the lakeside.
“Annette, please marry me.”
Heiner knelt on one knee and put a ring on Annette's ring finger.
“I will make you happy for the rest of your life.”
Her eyes widened. Annette covered her mouth with one hand, then, unable to contain her thumping heart, hugged him. Heiner chuckled and wrapped his arm around her back.
Stars poured down over the waves. Amidst this glittering world, the sight of a boat and a couple afloat was as beautiful as a painting.
A current of air, created from afar, flowed in, destroying the landscape. Her vision gradually crumbled. Amidst the ruins that surrounded her, only his voice echoed.
“I will make you happy for the rest of your life.”
“May you live happily ever after...”
“All my life...”
“Be unhappy by my side for the rest of your life.”
Annette opened her eyes.
“No way. I just don’t want to live with you anymore.”
“Why, because you know I betrayed you and you hate me?”
“I have no reason to hate you, Heiner.”
At those words, Heiner's eyes twitched briefly. He moved his lips slightly, as if he wanted to say something. Annette didn't wait for him and spoke first.
"I don't hate anyone. Even if the whole world hated me, I couldn't. I don't deserve it."
Heiner looked as if he couldn't believe those words had come out of her mouth. Annette felt a little strange.
Did he think she'd be stuck in this mansion, gnashing her teeth at anyone who spoke of her disposition? Without the slightest sense of guilt.
"Every newspaper says we need to completely destroy all vestiges of dictatorship. I'm not sure what part of me needs to be destroyed, but if you want, you can do it."
Annette was still illiterate in politics. But she understood what a cause was. She understood human rights and democracy. She understood why people wanted a new system.
She didn't know before and didn't want to know, but now she knows.
There were also feelings of guilt, indebtedness, shame, and such. Of course, it couldn't be said that these feelings were truly based on understanding.
It was simply that the world had told her she was wrong, so she had to accept it. Three years had passed since the monarchy's fall. Three years was enough time to drive a person's mind into a corner.
“Even so, you say it doesn't matter? Do you even know what you are saying right now?”
Even if she were to fall, she didn't want to fall as Heiner Valdemar's wife. She didn't want to see the man she loved suffer like this. This was Annette's last remaining pride.
If there was one thing she wanted to be compensated for, it was the time she had loved Heiner.
“Divorce, divorce, divorce.”
Heiner's words were cut off.
“I guess it’s because your life is so easy, so divorce is easy too.”
“...Is there anything difficult? As long as you agree.”
“I disagree.”
A large hand grabbed both her shoulders. The warmth she felt through the slip was excruciatingly hot. He spoke fiercely.
“I don’t agree.”
“I’m of no use to you anymore. As I said, I’m just a stain... Let me go.”
But Heiner gripped her shoulder even tighter. Their faces were so close they could almost touch. The murderous aura took her breath away.
A gloomy, subdued voice pierced my ear.
“You will gladly become my stain.”
“Heiner.”
"You will always be my wife, you will never leave this place, and you will never dream of freedom or happiness. You will pay the price for your sins, enduring all the misery I see."
Heiner chewed on each word as he spat them out. Their eyes met for a mere fraction of a second. They were so close that their breaths could almost touch.
Annette grimaced slightly at the tingling sensation in her shoulder, and only then did Heiner let her go. A precarious silence fell.
The heated atmosphere gradually cooled. After observing Annette for a while, he spoke with a much more composed demeanor.
"There's an opening banquet for the Belen Hotel in a few days. Please prepare accordingly, Madam, as you need to accompany me."
“...”
“As my wife.”
He added emphatically. Heiner's eyes, which had once gleamed, became silent again. His face, flawless and exquisite, like a well-carved marble, was imbued with an inexplicable aura.
"No, I do not want."
Annette rebelled for the first time.
“You have to go.”
“I don’t want to go.”
“Why, didn’t you like parties?”
Heiner sneered. He was referring to her, who had been going to numerous parties and social gatherings before her marriage.
“If you don’t like it, are you going to drag me away by force?”
"Think carefully, Madam. If you continue to defy me like this, I could have you locked up in a mental hospital for the rest of your life."
"...What?"
"No matter how much you deny you're not crazy, no one will believe you. I won't even make them believe you. Running away won't help. I'll find you. If you don't want to spend the rest of your life confined to a mental hospital, you'd better do as I say."
A voice like broken glass pierced her ears, syllable by syllable.
Annette stared at Heiner, pale and utterly exhausted. Her head creaked like an uneven chair. The hand holding the blanket trembled slightly.
Is this really Heiner Valdemar?
Is this really the lover I once loved so deeply?
Heiner's cold, downcast gaze was no different from usual, but to Annette, it felt unfamiliar. So unfamiliar that it was frightening.
Why didn't I know this sooner? I should've known from the moment my father passed away, when he turned cold and detached, as if he'd been waiting for it. He approached me with a purpose from the beginning. He was this kind of person from the beginning.
No...I knew it. I knew it. I just couldn't admit it. At the time, I was mentally overwhelmed and needed something to hold onto. That was Heiner.
At the time, Annette brainwashed herself again and again. Otherwise, she simply couldn't have endured it.
It's because I'm in this situation right now.
He married me, thinking I was a noble and honorable lady of the aristocracy, but now she's fallen so low.
So, love may cool down for a while.
But he will definitely come back.
To the moments we loved. To the seasons we loved. To the things we loved...
“Answer me, ma’am.”
Ah.
Why didn't I realize this sooner?
Love that stems from usefulness is not love.
Annette opened her mouth as if to say something, then closed it again. Her voice was barely coming out. She swallowed a trembling breath with difficulty and nodded faintly.
Despite her acceptance, Heiner didn't look at all satisfied. In fact, he looked displeased. It was as if he wasn't satisfied with the fear he instilled and the resulting weakness.
A gaze as gray as ash slowly slid across her face. It seemed infinitely cold, yet held a strange warmth.
Annette found it difficult to look him in the eye for some reason, so she lowered her head. Finally, Heiner rose from the bed. He strode out of the room without looking back.
Bang. The door closed.
Annette sat in a daze, trying to gather her thoughts. It felt like a storm had swept through her. What had just happened felt like a distant memory.
Annette let out a short sigh and opened the bedside drawer. Inside were several packets of sleeping pills. They were prescribed by Dr. Arnold.
She opened the bag of sleeping pills, took one of the three pills, and put the remaining two in the bottle. The bottle, about the size of a hand, was already more than half full.
Annette had been hoarding sleeping pills for quite some time, like a squirrel stashing food. Every time the bottle grew heavier, she felt a strange sense of security.
She closed her eyes and lay there, waiting for the medicine to take effect. Hoping she wouldn't have any nightmares tonight.
***
"─That's why I didn't study abroad. I'm a bit timid. I'm not good at foreign languages either. I heard Heiner has been abroad a lot, right?"
“Yes. I was in quite a few places because of the operation.”
“Do you know how to speak there?”
“That’s true, but there were many places where a common language was used.”
“Do you happen to know how many languages...?”
"There are four common languages. That's because I received my education at the institution from a young age."
“Wow, that’s really amazing. I’m really not good at studying.”
“I know you play the piano well.”
"Well, I've been playing since I was little. For a very long time, I dreamed of becoming a pianist... but I'm not sure about that these days."
“Why?”
"I'm starting to feel a bit skeptical about my talent. I'm wondering if this path is really right for me. Oh, don't take it too seriously. After all, for someone of my status, I think it's more noble to pursue piano as a hobby rather than a career."
“Annette’s playing is superb. She will definitely become an outstanding pianist.”
“Ahaha, what is this? You’ve never even heard me play.”
“You look like you’re good at hitting.”
Heiner shrugged. Annette playfully slapped his arm and laughed. He smiled back. The roses swayed in the breeze.
Swaaa...
The scenery passed, passed, passed. A summer night sky filled with stars unfolded. They were on a boat floating on the lakeside.
“Annette, please marry me.”
Heiner knelt on one knee and put a ring on Annette's ring finger.
“I will make you happy for the rest of your life.”
Her eyes widened. Annette covered her mouth with one hand, then, unable to contain her thumping heart, hugged him. Heiner chuckled and wrapped his arm around her back.
Stars poured down over the waves. Amidst this glittering world, the sight of a boat and a couple afloat was as beautiful as a painting.
A current of air, created from afar, flowed in, destroying the landscape. Her vision gradually crumbled. Amidst the ruins that surrounded her, only his voice echoed.
“I will make you happy for the rest of your life.”
“May you live happily ever after...”
“All my life...”
“Be unhappy by my side for the rest of your life.”
Annette opened her eyes.
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