I stood up and bowed to Countess Ruben.
"You said, Madam, that the dignity of others is more important than your own. So, shamelessly, I'm asking for your help."
She was startled when she saw me bowing my head, got up, and touched my shoulder.
"You don't have to bow down to me. We're family. What on earth makes you do this? Tell me, baby."
“I earnestly request that you adopt Ayla Delson.”
“Are you asking to be admitted into the Count Reuben family?”
"Aila is currently 20 years old, not yet 21. As a guardian, I ask you to do this, even if it means shamelessly, as this is the only way I can protect her."
Count and Countess Ruben had no children. However, even the Countess, a champion of human rights, was uncertain whether they could accept a government of commoner origin and an unmarried maid as their child.
“You’re looking for me...”
Countess Ruben, her expression clearly flustered, sat down on the sofa and drank tea as if moistening her throat.
"Ayla is pregnant. She's been threatened and imprisoned, telling me it's my husband's child. The conditions are inhumanely harsh for a pregnant woman, and they don't even give her proper food... If she stays any longer, she'll die a miserable death there."
“Who, who does something worse than that beast?”
“This is Princess Erita.”
Countess Reuben's brow furrowed deeply, and her eyes narrowed with a murderous gaze. Her shoulders trembled visibly. A wrinkled hand reached out to hug her arm, running it up and down her body as if to brush away the goosebumps that had formed.
“Such a creepy thing.”
"After this matter is resolved, you can cancel the contract because you were unaware of the pregnancy. Ayla's pregnancy was so unknown to the public that even I didn't know about it."
“Diana, I...”
Countess Ruben, unable to continue speaking, rubbed her eyes and remained silent for a long time. Believing that the longer she thought about it, the more likely she would be to reach a negative conclusion, I slowly stood up.
"I understand. It could put us at odds with the Princess, the heir to the throne, and even the royal family at large. It would be detrimental to act solely on that woman, so there's nothing I can do."
“What were you going to do if I refused?”
“I thought about that after I was rejected.”
I forced a smile. The Countess's face flushed with guilt, a kind of compulsion I hadn't expected her to refuse. Like Renier, I was also imposing the responsibility she had shown Ayla for the kindness she had shown me.
"Even if you, Madam, sever ties with me because of this request, I have nothing to say. I'm sorry."
Countess Ruben's face grew increasingly pale.
I belonged to the privileged class within the capitalist society of my world, a typical cherry picker. Calculating material gain, I lived as an ordinary person, entangled in the countless filth of human life, exploiting and being exploited. Therefore, I was only adept at exploiting others, depending on their strengths and weaknesses. Even if it was fake, I couldn't defeat Erita, who wore the guise of royalty.
"I sincerely apologize for coming so suddenly and asking such an unreasonable request. I will now return."
As I turned around, lowering my eyes with a sigh, I heard the Countess's voice behind me.
“Diana, I’ll talk to your uncle.”
“...Are you serious?”
As I hesitantly asked, the Countess took my hand and smiled kindly.
"Truly, he's like my brother in this respect. When he saw injustice, he'd step forward and help, without a thought of the consequences to himself. He was a righteous man."
I'm not righteous, and I just want to escape the guilt of being a bystander. Without any great conviction or justification, I simply don't want her to die.
I am not good.
I didn't utter my true feelings. The Countess, seemingly determined, stood up, selected a book from the shelf, and handed it to me.
"This is a family law book that outlines the rights and obligations of guardians and adoptive guardians of children under 21. Please refer to it."
"Thank you."
"If she were to become a naturalized citizen, I wouldn't cancel it. I intend to welcome her as my own daughter, care for her, and embrace her."
The Countess smiled warmly. I was startled by the conclusion, which was quicker than I expected, and my eyes widened.
“Huh? There’s no need to go that far...”
"They say saving one life is like saving the world. Now is the time for me to put that into practice. Perhaps it's God's will that we be childless, that we become mothers to the poor."
Countess Reuben's azure eyes shone with a noble gleam. Nobility and dignity were not born of pure blood, but of such a nature. Behind her, the gleaming sunlight spread like noble wings. I turned my head outside the window and saw a ray of light pouring through the thick, receding clouds.
Just as demons lurk within people's hearts, so too, I wondered, might angels not descend from heaven with wings, but emerge from within someone with a good heart.
She's someone whose values are fundamentally different from mine. I can always unleash the devil, but justice and goodness are difficult to even conceive.
“...I respect you.”
"That's not something to be respected. It's something I should have thought of first. It shouldn't have been recommended to me by someone else."
Her gaze seemed to penetrate my very being, and I felt a sense of shame, a sense of shamelessness. What form did the salvation Ayla had been asking about take? Could she, who always lived with her back bowed, be observing the beautiful feast of light unfolding in the sky?
Four days later, a letter arrived from the Count of Reuben's family.
"We've decided to accept her as our daughter. We'll need her signature, but don't worry, we've taken care of that. The family court expedited the application process, and I've received the permit. I'll attach a copy. I'll complete the final report to the government office and contact you through the telephone exchange."
Noah, who was sitting across the table from me and reading the letter I had received, smiled at me.
"You're thinking of adopting a child from a former lawyer and Supreme Court Justice couple. That's amazing."
“What did Mastiff say?”
Noah answered my question by folding the letter neatly and putting it back in the envelope, then picking up today's newspaper.
“I told him she was going to die soon, but he didn’t respond.”
“...He's not saying anything?”
I asked, clutching the hem of my skirt. I thought he'd shown enough affection to give her an expensive diamond necklace, but I wondered if he'd really care.
“I think I did my best. You should too.”
Noah's indifferent voice echoed from behind the unfolded newspaper. What on earth did he do for you? Money and jewels? I know he's just like that, but every time something like this happens, I feel a pang of frustration. I know he and I have different values, just like Countess Reuben, but it's still hard to understand.
“If you are weak, you will die, my princess.”
I can see him smiling gently over the slightly lowered newspaper.
Although less so than in the Middle Ages, inequality still exists, and human rights are not what they are today. Knowing this better than anyone, I slowly lowered my gaze.
“Do you think I survived by relying on you?”
“No, my princess is strong.”
He added with the sound of newspapers being rustled.
"I'm talking about people with weak hearts. Even in war, those who put others first are the ones who die first."
“We endure such miserable conditions and the threat of death just for fear of getting into trouble. Is that weak-hearted?”
“In the end, the one who survives to the end is the one who knows how to protect himself.”
His fingers were caressing my chin.
"It might be better for that maid if you didn't help her any further. Erita was already harassing her, but seeing you helping her seems to have made her even more harassing. She was intent on provoking you and causing you pain."
The tone was gentle, but there was a hint of cynicism. I felt something sink in my chest.
“She was trying to use Ayla to harass me?”
"Yeah. If you and the maid hadn't even met, she would have done whatever Erita told her to do. She would have taken that extravagant amount of money and gone far away to live a comfortable life. I guess that was Mastiff's plan. If she stays here, she'll likely be accused of being a traitor and executed."
"That..."
Did I mess it up?
As I was berating myself, I remembered Ayla, sobbing under the glass of wine Noah had poured over her. It was his intention to keep me from interfering. He must have sensed that I was subtly caring for her.
Noah said, wrapping his arms around my sagging shoulders.
"I like you, selfishly. Sympathy is your weakness. You made me suffer last time by doing something you never did before. Are you going to do it again?"
I don't want others to suffer needless despair and misery because of me. Am I in a situation where I can't be reckless in extending kindness or engaging deeply with anyone? Even if I step in and end this, I know that even worse trials await Ayla. I don't have the confidence to take full responsibility for it.
“Noah, is there any chance that Countess Reuben will be disadvantaged as well?”
“Those people have power, right? They don’t have maids. That’s the difference.”
So, they targeted the weak Ayla. If the Count's family found out she was adopted, the kind Ayla might stay with Medea. The situation is tangled.
I put my hand to my forehead in resignation. If I went any further, I might overlook something, let my guard down, get emotional, make another stupid mistake, and ruin things even more.
“I was so thoughtless.”
"No, it was just something you never expected. The world doesn't always go as planned. There are so many variables."
He kissed me on the corner of my eye, as if trying to soothe my self-reproach. I looked straight at him and continued speaking.
“I should have thought rationally and made sure of it.”
A small woman, curled up in the deep darkness, spoke.
"I'm not a beast. At least I want to live like a human being."
The woman, clutching the bitterness of her hungry stomach, chose her conscience over material rewards.
It was obvious she'd be angry and screaming, but Erita was surprisingly quiet. She just stood there blankly, her piercing blue eyes fixed on Ayla. The only thing on her face was a pure question.
"Why?"
“She is my precious person. Even Countess Rotsilt cherished me.”
“Why would someone as lowly as you refuse my generous favors and disobey my orders...”
Erita's face, which had been thinking about something while she stopped talking, became fiercely frowns.
"My precious one? You're just a maid who moves at my beck and call. How strange."
It was a remark likely to come from someone who didn't treat her as a single individual. Ayla stared at her straight in the eye, her sky-blue eyes shining with unwavering conviction.
“She never gave me orders. She treated me like a human being and offered to be my friend first.”
Even if it wasn't sincere, Ayla was at least happy to hear those words and gave a faint smile.
“Friend? You?”
Erita's eyes, which had been turning red as she asked in disbelief, gleamed with madness. Her lips twisted strangely, and she muttered bitterly.
“You dare to defy power, deluding yourself into thinking it’s a noble sacrifice.”
Erita hurled the plates on the maid's tray. They shattered loudly and bounced off the wall. Her face was filled with a visibly angry and hateful expression.
Is there anything that can't be suppressed and oppressed with authority and force? There's no such thing. Even if there were, I'd crush it mercilessly.
"No one cares about the death of a working-class woman who was their government. It's just a dog's death. Look, can't you see how no one's been looking for you for days?"
Erita, brushing back her hair, laughed with a strange sound. Ayla shuddered at the sight, which was so inhuman. What escaped her beautifully smiling face and lovely lips were the horrific words of a demon.
"If that woman is more important to you than me, then just die. I'm just about to destroy everything precious to her."
"You said, Madam, that the dignity of others is more important than your own. So, shamelessly, I'm asking for your help."
She was startled when she saw me bowing my head, got up, and touched my shoulder.
"You don't have to bow down to me. We're family. What on earth makes you do this? Tell me, baby."
“I earnestly request that you adopt Ayla Delson.”
“Are you asking to be admitted into the Count Reuben family?”
"Aila is currently 20 years old, not yet 21. As a guardian, I ask you to do this, even if it means shamelessly, as this is the only way I can protect her."
Count and Countess Ruben had no children. However, even the Countess, a champion of human rights, was uncertain whether they could accept a government of commoner origin and an unmarried maid as their child.
“You’re looking for me...”
Countess Ruben, her expression clearly flustered, sat down on the sofa and drank tea as if moistening her throat.
"Ayla is pregnant. She's been threatened and imprisoned, telling me it's my husband's child. The conditions are inhumanely harsh for a pregnant woman, and they don't even give her proper food... If she stays any longer, she'll die a miserable death there."
“Who, who does something worse than that beast?”
“This is Princess Erita.”
Countess Reuben's brow furrowed deeply, and her eyes narrowed with a murderous gaze. Her shoulders trembled visibly. A wrinkled hand reached out to hug her arm, running it up and down her body as if to brush away the goosebumps that had formed.
“Such a creepy thing.”
"After this matter is resolved, you can cancel the contract because you were unaware of the pregnancy. Ayla's pregnancy was so unknown to the public that even I didn't know about it."
“Diana, I...”
Countess Ruben, unable to continue speaking, rubbed her eyes and remained silent for a long time. Believing that the longer she thought about it, the more likely she would be to reach a negative conclusion, I slowly stood up.
"I understand. It could put us at odds with the Princess, the heir to the throne, and even the royal family at large. It would be detrimental to act solely on that woman, so there's nothing I can do."
“What were you going to do if I refused?”
“I thought about that after I was rejected.”
I forced a smile. The Countess's face flushed with guilt, a kind of compulsion I hadn't expected her to refuse. Like Renier, I was also imposing the responsibility she had shown Ayla for the kindness she had shown me.
"Even if you, Madam, sever ties with me because of this request, I have nothing to say. I'm sorry."
Countess Ruben's face grew increasingly pale.
I belonged to the privileged class within the capitalist society of my world, a typical cherry picker. Calculating material gain, I lived as an ordinary person, entangled in the countless filth of human life, exploiting and being exploited. Therefore, I was only adept at exploiting others, depending on their strengths and weaknesses. Even if it was fake, I couldn't defeat Erita, who wore the guise of royalty.
"I sincerely apologize for coming so suddenly and asking such an unreasonable request. I will now return."
As I turned around, lowering my eyes with a sigh, I heard the Countess's voice behind me.
“Diana, I’ll talk to your uncle.”
“...Are you serious?”
As I hesitantly asked, the Countess took my hand and smiled kindly.
"Truly, he's like my brother in this respect. When he saw injustice, he'd step forward and help, without a thought of the consequences to himself. He was a righteous man."
I'm not righteous, and I just want to escape the guilt of being a bystander. Without any great conviction or justification, I simply don't want her to die.
I am not good.
I didn't utter my true feelings. The Countess, seemingly determined, stood up, selected a book from the shelf, and handed it to me.
"This is a family law book that outlines the rights and obligations of guardians and adoptive guardians of children under 21. Please refer to it."
"Thank you."
"If she were to become a naturalized citizen, I wouldn't cancel it. I intend to welcome her as my own daughter, care for her, and embrace her."
The Countess smiled warmly. I was startled by the conclusion, which was quicker than I expected, and my eyes widened.
“Huh? There’s no need to go that far...”
"They say saving one life is like saving the world. Now is the time for me to put that into practice. Perhaps it's God's will that we be childless, that we become mothers to the poor."
Countess Reuben's azure eyes shone with a noble gleam. Nobility and dignity were not born of pure blood, but of such a nature. Behind her, the gleaming sunlight spread like noble wings. I turned my head outside the window and saw a ray of light pouring through the thick, receding clouds.
Just as demons lurk within people's hearts, so too, I wondered, might angels not descend from heaven with wings, but emerge from within someone with a good heart.
She's someone whose values are fundamentally different from mine. I can always unleash the devil, but justice and goodness are difficult to even conceive.
“...I respect you.”
"That's not something to be respected. It's something I should have thought of first. It shouldn't have been recommended to me by someone else."
Her gaze seemed to penetrate my very being, and I felt a sense of shame, a sense of shamelessness. What form did the salvation Ayla had been asking about take? Could she, who always lived with her back bowed, be observing the beautiful feast of light unfolding in the sky?
***
Four days later, a letter arrived from the Count of Reuben's family.
"We've decided to accept her as our daughter. We'll need her signature, but don't worry, we've taken care of that. The family court expedited the application process, and I've received the permit. I'll attach a copy. I'll complete the final report to the government office and contact you through the telephone exchange."
Noah, who was sitting across the table from me and reading the letter I had received, smiled at me.
"You're thinking of adopting a child from a former lawyer and Supreme Court Justice couple. That's amazing."
“What did Mastiff say?”
Noah answered my question by folding the letter neatly and putting it back in the envelope, then picking up today's newspaper.
“I told him she was going to die soon, but he didn’t respond.”
“...He's not saying anything?”
I asked, clutching the hem of my skirt. I thought he'd shown enough affection to give her an expensive diamond necklace, but I wondered if he'd really care.
“I think I did my best. You should too.”
Noah's indifferent voice echoed from behind the unfolded newspaper. What on earth did he do for you? Money and jewels? I know he's just like that, but every time something like this happens, I feel a pang of frustration. I know he and I have different values, just like Countess Reuben, but it's still hard to understand.
“If you are weak, you will die, my princess.”
I can see him smiling gently over the slightly lowered newspaper.
Although less so than in the Middle Ages, inequality still exists, and human rights are not what they are today. Knowing this better than anyone, I slowly lowered my gaze.
“Do you think I survived by relying on you?”
“No, my princess is strong.”
He added with the sound of newspapers being rustled.
"I'm talking about people with weak hearts. Even in war, those who put others first are the ones who die first."
“We endure such miserable conditions and the threat of death just for fear of getting into trouble. Is that weak-hearted?”
“In the end, the one who survives to the end is the one who knows how to protect himself.”
His fingers were caressing my chin.
"It might be better for that maid if you didn't help her any further. Erita was already harassing her, but seeing you helping her seems to have made her even more harassing. She was intent on provoking you and causing you pain."
The tone was gentle, but there was a hint of cynicism. I felt something sink in my chest.
“She was trying to use Ayla to harass me?”
"Yeah. If you and the maid hadn't even met, she would have done whatever Erita told her to do. She would have taken that extravagant amount of money and gone far away to live a comfortable life. I guess that was Mastiff's plan. If she stays here, she'll likely be accused of being a traitor and executed."
"That..."
Did I mess it up?
As I was berating myself, I remembered Ayla, sobbing under the glass of wine Noah had poured over her. It was his intention to keep me from interfering. He must have sensed that I was subtly caring for her.
Noah said, wrapping his arms around my sagging shoulders.
"I like you, selfishly. Sympathy is your weakness. You made me suffer last time by doing something you never did before. Are you going to do it again?"
I don't want others to suffer needless despair and misery because of me. Am I in a situation where I can't be reckless in extending kindness or engaging deeply with anyone? Even if I step in and end this, I know that even worse trials await Ayla. I don't have the confidence to take full responsibility for it.
“Noah, is there any chance that Countess Reuben will be disadvantaged as well?”
“Those people have power, right? They don’t have maids. That’s the difference.”
So, they targeted the weak Ayla. If the Count's family found out she was adopted, the kind Ayla might stay with Medea. The situation is tangled.
I put my hand to my forehead in resignation. If I went any further, I might overlook something, let my guard down, get emotional, make another stupid mistake, and ruin things even more.
“I was so thoughtless.”
"No, it was just something you never expected. The world doesn't always go as planned. There are so many variables."
He kissed me on the corner of my eye, as if trying to soothe my self-reproach. I looked straight at him and continued speaking.
“I should have thought rationally and made sure of it.”
***
A small woman, curled up in the deep darkness, spoke.
"I'm not a beast. At least I want to live like a human being."
The woman, clutching the bitterness of her hungry stomach, chose her conscience over material rewards.
It was obvious she'd be angry and screaming, but Erita was surprisingly quiet. She just stood there blankly, her piercing blue eyes fixed on Ayla. The only thing on her face was a pure question.
"Why?"
“She is my precious person. Even Countess Rotsilt cherished me.”
“Why would someone as lowly as you refuse my generous favors and disobey my orders...”
Erita's face, which had been thinking about something while she stopped talking, became fiercely frowns.
"My precious one? You're just a maid who moves at my beck and call. How strange."
It was a remark likely to come from someone who didn't treat her as a single individual. Ayla stared at her straight in the eye, her sky-blue eyes shining with unwavering conviction.
“She never gave me orders. She treated me like a human being and offered to be my friend first.”
Even if it wasn't sincere, Ayla was at least happy to hear those words and gave a faint smile.
“Friend? You?”
Erita's eyes, which had been turning red as she asked in disbelief, gleamed with madness. Her lips twisted strangely, and she muttered bitterly.
“You dare to defy power, deluding yourself into thinking it’s a noble sacrifice.”
Erita hurled the plates on the maid's tray. They shattered loudly and bounced off the wall. Her face was filled with a visibly angry and hateful expression.
Is there anything that can't be suppressed and oppressed with authority and force? There's no such thing. Even if there were, I'd crush it mercilessly.
"No one cares about the death of a working-class woman who was their government. It's just a dog's death. Look, can't you see how no one's been looking for you for days?"
Erita, brushing back her hair, laughed with a strange sound. Ayla shuddered at the sight, which was so inhuman. What escaped her beautifully smiling face and lovely lips were the horrific words of a demon.
"If that woman is more important to you than me, then just die. I'm just about to destroy everything precious to her."
Comments
Post a Comment