I followed Molly down the stairs, wearing a velvet robe over my negligee. What on earth could have possibly caused the usually expressionless Molly to look so flustered?
Sitting on the sofa in the first-floor reception room was a small man wearing a cloak pulled down low. We sat on the sofa opposite him. The unidentified figure removed the cloak, revealing a small, round face with freckles on the bridge of her nose.
"Long time no see."
It was Lenny, the maid. I don't know why the woman who once reported on me to the royal family came to see me.
“Uh, Lenny?”
“Ranier Elliot.”
Noah called out an unfamiliar name. The woman named Renier smiled with her characteristically crinkled smile.
“I am Baroness Renier Elliot, and most people don’t know my identity, as I am not active in society but work on a secret mission under the direct control of the Crown.”
“Were you a knight?”
I didn't know she was that kind of person. I just thought she was a maid who passed on information for money.
"Yes, on the surface, I'm a knight of the Royal Order, a title bestowed upon me. Count Rotsilt must have noticed it a while ago."
“I didn’t know.”
“I’m sorry I lied to you. You were so kind to me.”
“That’s possible. What can I do when it’s ordered from above?”
Even though it was her private life, it wasn't particularly intrusive and didn't cause any significant harm. So, even though I heard she was spying, I didn't hold a grudge or think about it too deeply.
“Why did you come?”
At Noah's question, who was leaning back on the sofa with his legs crossed, Renier's face began to turn pale. She fidgeted nervously with her fingers before answering.
“...I came to consult with you about Ayla Delson.”
“What’s going on?”
In response to my question, Renier let out a blank sigh.
"She's currently being held captive by the Princess. It seems she's being held in a secret room, deprived of food and water."
As soon as I heard her subdued words, I felt a pang of pain in my stomach, as if I'd swallowed hot water. Why? Wasn't she supposed to leave for Kappel and start a new life?
“What is the reason?”
I barely managed to gather my voice, which was scattered like a sigh, and asked. A sudden surge of self-reproach surged up, a feeling that I'd always tried to ignore, that it might be my fault.
"She is pregnant with the child of Frogen's bastard. The Princess tried to persuade her to reveal the child as Count Rotsilt's, but when she refused, she was imprisoned and threatened with the death of the unborn child."
“Does she have a child?”
I picture that little woman, so skinny, carrying a mountain of laundry and doing all sorts of dirty work.
“If she had followed the Princess’s orders, she could have received a large sum of money and left for another country, but strangely enough...”
Renier's lips, resting her hand on her forehead, opened and closed silently.
"They say she won't yield to any persuasion or threats. She'll probably die soon."
Silence flowed between the three. The flower tea gradually cooled, and the strong scent of the tea began to fade.
I was just counting the patterns on the teacup. Should I pretend not to hear and ignore it, or should I take action? The ordeal, presented as a choice, struck me sharply.
“Does the Queen know?”
Noah, holding a teacup, asked. Renier answered with a face that had been filled with resignation over and over again.
"Her Majesty knows, but the royal family cannot intervene. I can't give you the details, but it's my job to find those involved in this case."
“So, what can we do that even the royal family can’t do?”
Renier couldn't bring herself to answer Noah's question. He looked at her with a realistic, cool gaze.
"You don't want to get involved yourself and want us to handle it for you. You're trying to divide the blame and shift the burden of your conscience to me just because my wife helped her a few times. You've been a bystander all this time."
At the soft voice, Renier's shoulders flinched. Noah's eyes sharpened for a moment at the sight. She didn't deny it.
"That's right. I... am truly an ugly person. But I can't stand it, and I don't know what to do, so I spend the whole day not seeing anything."
"That's your responsibility, too. I don't understand why you're passing it on to someone else."
I lowered my gaze and looked down at my teacup.
The red tea looked like blood and gave me the chills down my spine.
“It’s my responsibility.”
At my calm voice, Renier and Noah looked this way.
I scoffed at myself.
“Because I became someone precious to her.”
If I couldn't take full responsibility, I shouldn't have started. The first day I met her, I should have just ignored her bruises. I should have ignored her every time she spoke to me, and ignored her advice, pretending it was just advice.
I shouldn't have felt sorry for her.
If that were the case, she would have taken a huge amount of money and lived her life to the point where it would cause us trouble.
In truth, it was selfish self-justification. I should have helped her. She was a poor, prejudiced person, and someone like that can't overcome hardship alone.
“I was the one who pretended to be a good person and drew the line with ambiguous kindness, then left her alone and neglected her.”
Noah, who had been listening with his chin resting on his hand, had his mouth twisted unpleasantly.
“Why is that your fault?”
“She trusts others easily and makes bad choices because no one taught her.”
Because she didn't know what true affection and human relationships were. Easily deceived, easily hurt, she desperately hoped at least one of them was real. I sighed softly and continued.
"She was just ignorant of the world. We've all been ignorant, too, and we've lived through trial and error, paying the price we deserve. But the price she's paying for her ignorance is just too much."
Renier, who had been looking down, smiled sadly at me.
"I am guilty of knowingly turning a blind eye and neglecting this. I must pay the price for my crimes."
Noah, who had been listening quietly, narrowed his eyes. He turned his head to look at me, his face now adopting a gentle, gentle expression.
“Honey, just do what you were doing.”
“What do you mean?”
"I'm telling you not to interfere in other people's lives like you've been doing. We have more important things to do."
"It's important," he added, his tone somewhat urgent. I couldn't immediately understand what he was saying.
"All the effort you've put in so far could be for nothing. You could feel empty and devastated by the futile results."
“Leave her to die?”
"I'll contact Mastiff. I think he thinks she's special."
No, he doesn't think of Ayla as special. If he did, he wouldn't have left the woman pregnant with his child to be with the Princess.
"She's trying to protect us, too. Even though she's so weak and powerless. If possible, it'd be better to block those rumors beforehand."
I'd ignored Ayla until now out of fear. Ayla was a desperate, vulnerable person, prone to betrayal, possessing a greater sense of desperation than anyone else. I didn't want to give my heart to something so easily changed or lost. But I couldn't turn away from the clear truth that she was enduring the agony of death to keep us from getting into trouble.
“Do as you wish. I cannot go against the will of my queen.”
Noah smiled affectionately, as if he couldn't help it. Rainer, her head bowed, had tears in her eyes.
The long, long night passed, and the sun rose. I tossed and turned all night, unable to sleep properly, but I felt completely untired. Early that morning, I sent a letter to Countess Reuben through her servant. Since her mansion was only 20 minutes away, I received a prompt reply. I read the letter over breakfast.
“Daughter-in-law, the soup is sour!”
“That’s because you’re drinking pickle juice.”
Dr. Rugen, who was eating breakfast, started complaining again, so I quickly handed him a bowl of broccoli soup. His eyes, which had been those of a young man until yesterday but had now turned into a grandfather's, stared intently at me.
“Are you worried? You don’t look well.”
At the doctor's words, I shook my head and rubbed my cheek for no reason.
"No."
“You can’t fool the eyes of an old man.”
“That’s right.”
"Tell me. Even this old man might be useful sometimes. O has the wisdom of long life."
The faded blue eyes of the old man, who had a napkin wrapped under his chin like a child, shone with wisdom. I chuckled and put the letter down.
“Well, there’s someone I’m concerned about.”
“Are you having an affair? Let’s keep it a secret.”
"No! She's a woman, and even when things get difficult, she never speaks up. Even when it came to life-threatening situations."
"That's what I mean. She's afraid of being rejected. And she's also afraid of hurting the other person and being hated."
"Yes."
"People who are naturally gentle and kind are like that. They're also incredibly timid. My wife was like that. The closer they were to someone, the more they couldn't speak and just groaned."
Ayla. She's delicate and kind. She's timid and fearful. I rested my chin on my hand and looked at the doctor, asking.
“Yes. Can you please ask first from now on?”
"Do that. Even if you didn't say anything, you should have at least asked how she was doing. I couldn't. That's the biggest regret I have after my wife died."
He still has a lot of life left. He's not in the same good spirits as yesterday. I nodded, about to grab my fork and knife, when Dr. Rugen pointed at his eyes.
"The reason we have two eyes is to see things from two perspectives: our own and others'. It's to see the world from a broader perspective."
After a while, he pointed to my hands placed side by side on the table and said.
“The reason we have two hands is that one hand is for helping others, and the other hand is for...”
Dr. Rugen, who had been silent, smiled faintly.
“What was it? Was it about slapping the face of someone you didn’t like?”
After finishing breakfast, I returned to my room and slumped against the sofa. Staring at the stuffed cat, I could only sigh in frustration. Honestly, I've never really helped others, so I'm not used to it, and I'm not confident I can do it well.
I hated the disruption to my normal routine, and I was also concerned about Noah's concern that there were more important things for us. It meant I was losing something.
Despite the countless warnings my life experiences have given me, I've come to a different conclusion this time: I need to live with at least a modicum of humanity.
“Somehow it will work out.”
I got up from my seat and took out my outerwear from the closet.
I rode in Molly's car to Count Reuben's mansion. The sky was gray, covered with thick clouds. The surroundings were gloomy. The trees in the garden, where the last of spring was passing by, had darkened their colors, as if imbued with the damp weather and damp humidity.
“Diana, I can’t tell you how happy I am that you came to see me first.”
As I entered the mansion's foyer, Countess Reuben greeted me with a warm smile. The interior, with its neat and simple decor, exuded a similar impression to the Countess herself.
Sitting in the drawing room, I hesitated for a moment, watching the Countess personally serve me rooibos tea. What I was about to ask was by no means an easy request. This was not a transaction, but rather an appeal to pity, a coercion that would be highly objectionable even to Count Reuben and the Harrison family.
“I have come to ask you a difficult favor, Countess. I apologize.”
"You've asked all these favors. I guess this is a difficult situation for you. Please speak freely."
I clutched my teacup and remained silent for a while. The kind and gentle Countess Reuben waited patiently.
Sitting on the sofa in the first-floor reception room was a small man wearing a cloak pulled down low. We sat on the sofa opposite him. The unidentified figure removed the cloak, revealing a small, round face with freckles on the bridge of her nose.
"Long time no see."
It was Lenny, the maid. I don't know why the woman who once reported on me to the royal family came to see me.
“Uh, Lenny?”
“Ranier Elliot.”
Noah called out an unfamiliar name. The woman named Renier smiled with her characteristically crinkled smile.
“I am Baroness Renier Elliot, and most people don’t know my identity, as I am not active in society but work on a secret mission under the direct control of the Crown.”
“Were you a knight?”
I didn't know she was that kind of person. I just thought she was a maid who passed on information for money.
"Yes, on the surface, I'm a knight of the Royal Order, a title bestowed upon me. Count Rotsilt must have noticed it a while ago."
“I didn’t know.”
“I’m sorry I lied to you. You were so kind to me.”
“That’s possible. What can I do when it’s ordered from above?”
Even though it was her private life, it wasn't particularly intrusive and didn't cause any significant harm. So, even though I heard she was spying, I didn't hold a grudge or think about it too deeply.
“Why did you come?”
At Noah's question, who was leaning back on the sofa with his legs crossed, Renier's face began to turn pale. She fidgeted nervously with her fingers before answering.
“...I came to consult with you about Ayla Delson.”
“What’s going on?”
In response to my question, Renier let out a blank sigh.
"She's currently being held captive by the Princess. It seems she's being held in a secret room, deprived of food and water."
As soon as I heard her subdued words, I felt a pang of pain in my stomach, as if I'd swallowed hot water. Why? Wasn't she supposed to leave for Kappel and start a new life?
“What is the reason?”
I barely managed to gather my voice, which was scattered like a sigh, and asked. A sudden surge of self-reproach surged up, a feeling that I'd always tried to ignore, that it might be my fault.
"She is pregnant with the child of Frogen's bastard. The Princess tried to persuade her to reveal the child as Count Rotsilt's, but when she refused, she was imprisoned and threatened with the death of the unborn child."
“Does she have a child?”
I picture that little woman, so skinny, carrying a mountain of laundry and doing all sorts of dirty work.
“If she had followed the Princess’s orders, she could have received a large sum of money and left for another country, but strangely enough...”
Renier's lips, resting her hand on her forehead, opened and closed silently.
"They say she won't yield to any persuasion or threats. She'll probably die soon."
Silence flowed between the three. The flower tea gradually cooled, and the strong scent of the tea began to fade.
I was just counting the patterns on the teacup. Should I pretend not to hear and ignore it, or should I take action? The ordeal, presented as a choice, struck me sharply.
“Does the Queen know?”
Noah, holding a teacup, asked. Renier answered with a face that had been filled with resignation over and over again.
"Her Majesty knows, but the royal family cannot intervene. I can't give you the details, but it's my job to find those involved in this case."
“So, what can we do that even the royal family can’t do?”
Renier couldn't bring herself to answer Noah's question. He looked at her with a realistic, cool gaze.
"You don't want to get involved yourself and want us to handle it for you. You're trying to divide the blame and shift the burden of your conscience to me just because my wife helped her a few times. You've been a bystander all this time."
At the soft voice, Renier's shoulders flinched. Noah's eyes sharpened for a moment at the sight. She didn't deny it.
"That's right. I... am truly an ugly person. But I can't stand it, and I don't know what to do, so I spend the whole day not seeing anything."
"That's your responsibility, too. I don't understand why you're passing it on to someone else."
I lowered my gaze and looked down at my teacup.
The red tea looked like blood and gave me the chills down my spine.
“It’s my responsibility.”
At my calm voice, Renier and Noah looked this way.
I scoffed at myself.
“Because I became someone precious to her.”
If I couldn't take full responsibility, I shouldn't have started. The first day I met her, I should have just ignored her bruises. I should have ignored her every time she spoke to me, and ignored her advice, pretending it was just advice.
I shouldn't have felt sorry for her.
If that were the case, she would have taken a huge amount of money and lived her life to the point where it would cause us trouble.
In truth, it was selfish self-justification. I should have helped her. She was a poor, prejudiced person, and someone like that can't overcome hardship alone.
“I was the one who pretended to be a good person and drew the line with ambiguous kindness, then left her alone and neglected her.”
Noah, who had been listening with his chin resting on his hand, had his mouth twisted unpleasantly.
“Why is that your fault?”
“She trusts others easily and makes bad choices because no one taught her.”
Because she didn't know what true affection and human relationships were. Easily deceived, easily hurt, she desperately hoped at least one of them was real. I sighed softly and continued.
"She was just ignorant of the world. We've all been ignorant, too, and we've lived through trial and error, paying the price we deserve. But the price she's paying for her ignorance is just too much."
Renier, who had been looking down, smiled sadly at me.
"I am guilty of knowingly turning a blind eye and neglecting this. I must pay the price for my crimes."
Noah, who had been listening quietly, narrowed his eyes. He turned his head to look at me, his face now adopting a gentle, gentle expression.
“Honey, just do what you were doing.”
“What do you mean?”
"I'm telling you not to interfere in other people's lives like you've been doing. We have more important things to do."
"It's important," he added, his tone somewhat urgent. I couldn't immediately understand what he was saying.
"All the effort you've put in so far could be for nothing. You could feel empty and devastated by the futile results."
“Leave her to die?”
"I'll contact Mastiff. I think he thinks she's special."
No, he doesn't think of Ayla as special. If he did, he wouldn't have left the woman pregnant with his child to be with the Princess.
"She's trying to protect us, too. Even though she's so weak and powerless. If possible, it'd be better to block those rumors beforehand."
I'd ignored Ayla until now out of fear. Ayla was a desperate, vulnerable person, prone to betrayal, possessing a greater sense of desperation than anyone else. I didn't want to give my heart to something so easily changed or lost. But I couldn't turn away from the clear truth that she was enduring the agony of death to keep us from getting into trouble.
“Do as you wish. I cannot go against the will of my queen.”
Noah smiled affectionately, as if he couldn't help it. Rainer, her head bowed, had tears in her eyes.
***
The long, long night passed, and the sun rose. I tossed and turned all night, unable to sleep properly, but I felt completely untired. Early that morning, I sent a letter to Countess Reuben through her servant. Since her mansion was only 20 minutes away, I received a prompt reply. I read the letter over breakfast.
“Daughter-in-law, the soup is sour!”
“That’s because you’re drinking pickle juice.”
Dr. Rugen, who was eating breakfast, started complaining again, so I quickly handed him a bowl of broccoli soup. His eyes, which had been those of a young man until yesterday but had now turned into a grandfather's, stared intently at me.
“Are you worried? You don’t look well.”
At the doctor's words, I shook my head and rubbed my cheek for no reason.
"No."
“You can’t fool the eyes of an old man.”
“That’s right.”
"Tell me. Even this old man might be useful sometimes. O has the wisdom of long life."
The faded blue eyes of the old man, who had a napkin wrapped under his chin like a child, shone with wisdom. I chuckled and put the letter down.
“Well, there’s someone I’m concerned about.”
“Are you having an affair? Let’s keep it a secret.”
"No! She's a woman, and even when things get difficult, she never speaks up. Even when it came to life-threatening situations."
"That's what I mean. She's afraid of being rejected. And she's also afraid of hurting the other person and being hated."
"Yes."
"People who are naturally gentle and kind are like that. They're also incredibly timid. My wife was like that. The closer they were to someone, the more they couldn't speak and just groaned."
Ayla. She's delicate and kind. She's timid and fearful. I rested my chin on my hand and looked at the doctor, asking.
“Yes. Can you please ask first from now on?”
"Do that. Even if you didn't say anything, you should have at least asked how she was doing. I couldn't. That's the biggest regret I have after my wife died."
He still has a lot of life left. He's not in the same good spirits as yesterday. I nodded, about to grab my fork and knife, when Dr. Rugen pointed at his eyes.
"The reason we have two eyes is to see things from two perspectives: our own and others'. It's to see the world from a broader perspective."
After a while, he pointed to my hands placed side by side on the table and said.
“The reason we have two hands is that one hand is for helping others, and the other hand is for...”
Dr. Rugen, who had been silent, smiled faintly.
“What was it? Was it about slapping the face of someone you didn’t like?”
After finishing breakfast, I returned to my room and slumped against the sofa. Staring at the stuffed cat, I could only sigh in frustration. Honestly, I've never really helped others, so I'm not used to it, and I'm not confident I can do it well.
I hated the disruption to my normal routine, and I was also concerned about Noah's concern that there were more important things for us. It meant I was losing something.
Despite the countless warnings my life experiences have given me, I've come to a different conclusion this time: I need to live with at least a modicum of humanity.
“Somehow it will work out.”
I got up from my seat and took out my outerwear from the closet.
***
I rode in Molly's car to Count Reuben's mansion. The sky was gray, covered with thick clouds. The surroundings were gloomy. The trees in the garden, where the last of spring was passing by, had darkened their colors, as if imbued with the damp weather and damp humidity.
“Diana, I can’t tell you how happy I am that you came to see me first.”
As I entered the mansion's foyer, Countess Reuben greeted me with a warm smile. The interior, with its neat and simple decor, exuded a similar impression to the Countess herself.
Sitting in the drawing room, I hesitated for a moment, watching the Countess personally serve me rooibos tea. What I was about to ask was by no means an easy request. This was not a transaction, but rather an appeal to pity, a coercion that would be highly objectionable even to Count Reuben and the Harrison family.
“I have come to ask you a difficult favor, Countess. I apologize.”
"You've asked all these favors. I guess this is a difficult situation for you. Please speak freely."
I clutched my teacup and remained silent for a while. The kind and gentle Countess Reuben waited patiently.
Previous Next
Comments
Post a Comment